GOODNESS How to Deal With Bad People

What are you doing in your life right now that makes you happy? Who are the people in your life that radiate goodness, kindness, humor, and integrity? Who are you grateful for today? Today, who has lifted you up and done something awesome, fun, showed you they worked hard, showed you their talent or who was just plain kind and real to you today?

What work and social activities, interests and hobbies lift you up and make you feel alive, creative and successful? What are you glad you are doing or have done today? Breathe in gratitude for all that is true and good in your life.

Each day I write in a gratitude journal. Some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I write about my friend Rose who can make me laugh for hours on end. Somedays I am grateful for a huge business deal that is exciting and challenging, some days it's long real hugs with my loved ones, warm socks or thin mint cookies. Somedays I write about turning the car stereo up loud and singing with Bruno Mars or going to a house concert with friends and being "inside" the music of Eliot Bronson or The Ghost of Paul Revere, and lately I am grateful for the joy in writing new songs and recording them with talented musicians.

There is a lot of negative energy in the world right now. We see evil and injustice. But there is also a sea change towards goodness. Yes, we are heading towards more goodness. We are noticing bad behavior and saying, "Nope I don't like that." "Stop that because I find that unacceptable." "I choose not to be associated with or do business with someone who acts against my moral values.' That's a very good thing. Bad behavior might have been going on underneath and in the shadows before, allowed and accepted but, right now there is so much light!

Let's be grateful for that light. Don't turn away from what light shows you. I have read and been consulted on so many stories about people doing bad things, but I realized that there are brave, good people that stood up in those stories and said, "No!"  There are so many authentic strong people speaking out and showing what good behavior is. There is kindness.  Let us all focus on the good men and women in the world. And for you, focus on what it feels like to work with and love people you value and trust. Be grateful for them, grab a cookie and turn up some good music.

Look for the goodness!

Take Care,

Patti




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why do people let abuse and character assassination happen? Clooney, Damon and Afleck didn't speak out, Harvey W

Why do people see abuse and character assassination and let it happen. 

I wrote this awhile ago and I am just posting it. In this article Clooney says Weinstein, "... bragged about bedding stars. Clooney says that at the time,  “..I didn't believe Weinstein because to do so would believe the worst of ...actresses who were friends of mine." Read that again. Clooney was friends with and worked closely with a Harvey who was telling horrible lies about women who were friends of his, and Clooney did-- exactly NOTHING about it. He didn't stop Harvey from telling him the stories, he didn't call Harvey on it and say, "Hey I don't believe you!" He didn't say, I know these women, and I respect them and know they wouldn't be having affairs so I suggest you never say they are to anyone every again." Nor did he do something else that requires integrity, Clooney didn’t tell his women friends about Harvey’s lies so those women could choose how they wanted to protect themselves against Harvey’s character assignation of them. Because there is no doubt that having a huge producer brag to people that he bedded you doesn’t make it safe for you to NOT do so with the next powerful man in your career. Those women need Clooney to be a true friend to them.

People if someone is spreading lies about someone you care for be a stand up person. Iif someone is defaming anyone’s character with lies and deceit stand up!!!! It is oh so easy to not want to risk having a socially awkward conversation and call them on it, or lose membership in the group. But any group that contains and lying monster needs to rethink their membership! Its clear women where abused, its clear women and in some cases men where xd out of Harvey’s “Group” and possibly their careers. But any group member who doesn’t defend a victim is an enabler of the attacker. Here is why group members don’t speak out from another post I wrote.

Ever, wonder why no one spoke up about Weinstein during his years of abuse? For many years I spoke on sexual harassment and the group’s response to it. (In fact, the group’s response to abuse, affairs and romantic relationships was my first research paper in my doctoral program) People around the abuser may know about the abuse to the victim or victims and let it continue. 

Think about the people around Bill Cosby. There are many reasons they may need to believe the abuser is innocent, as believing the truth. That the abuser has abused and is in fact evil creates too much cognitive dissonance. They would have to admit they know and are working with someone evil. Many prefer to keep the mask on the monster and continue their lives as they are. 
They may not feel comfortable “tattling” or really mislabel calling an abuser and abuser wish is not tattling but defending a victim. 

Or they may find it just easier to look the other way. They may say its not my business after all it doesn’t affect me directly as, they aren’t being attacked.  They may think, “I need to be Switzerland and not get involved.”  This is an  easy choice, but not a very noble one. It required no bravery not action  Actually even choosing to say you are like Switzerland is admitting that their is a  problem and your are avoiding it. And oddly Switzerland was NOT nutral  that was their protective mask, while they took money and art and stolen possessions from the Nazis while looking the other way as thousands of people were sent to concentration camps. 

You may blame the victim(s) saying hey they should have not allowed themselves to be abused!! Again not a noble or empathetic choice and or as in this story, they are being fed goodies by the abuser. Sexual Predators like to spread the goodies out to their "Apaths"or "Enablers" In fact, they may spend years giving out goodies, so when if their mask falls, their minions look the other way and allow them to pick it up and put it right back on. so the goodies can keep on coming and the boat isn’t rock and their life can supposedly keep on going as it is. Though in this case, the enablers are exposed as well., and they have to back pedal and defend their own character.     

 Here is a good story on this.

https://lovefraud.com/the-psychopaths-enablers/
                                                                                                                                                        

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5008429/Matt-Damon-KNEW-Harvey-Weinsten-harassed-Gwyneth-Paltrow.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why Is There Complicity In Abuse? - Why No One Spoke Up About Weinstein's Abuse

Wonder why no one spoke up about Weinstein during his years of abuse? For many years I spoke on sexual harassment and the groups response to it. (In fact, the groups response to abuse, affairs and romantic relationships was my first research paper in my doctoral program) People around the abuser may know about the abuse to the victim or victims and let it continue. Think about the people around Bill Cosby. There are many reasons they may need to believe the abuser is innocent, as believing the truth. That the abuser has abused and is in fact evil creates too much cognitive dissonance. They would have to admit they know and are working with someone evil. Many prefer to keep the mask on the monster and continue their lives as they are. They may not feel comfortable tattling and or it is easier to look the other way, blame the victims and or as in this story, they are being fed by the abuser. Sexual Predators like to spread the goodies out to their "Apaths"or "Enablers" In this case the very success of the journalist’s livelihood depended on being friendly with the abuser.

Here is a good story on this.

https://lovefraud.com/the-psychopaths-enablers/

 Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

     

The Human Stain – Why the Harvey Weinstein Story is Worse Than You Think

The Human Stain – Why the Harvey Weinstein Story is Worse Than You Think

When abuse occurs it’s hard for even good people to speak out. In this case, there was a culture of complicity at Weinstein’s places of business, with numerous people throughout the companies fully aware of his behavior but either abetting it or looking the other way. Some employees said that “they were enlisted in subterfuge to make the victims feel safe."

Link to Article

http://www.weeklystandard.com/the-human-stain-why-the-harvey-weinstein-story-is-worse-than-you-think/article/2009995#!

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.