How can your space negatively impact your relationship? Decoration, Clutter and Your Relationships

How can your space negatively impact your relationship? Your space/territory is not only a reflection of you, your personality, your mood, and your energy it affects you profoundly.

If you have for example the clutter of too much stuff or merely make design and purchasing or decorating items that may mean something to you and give you pleasure, but have no meaning and nor give pleasure to you partner you may be sending the message I have all the power over this space and or my stuff is more important than you and your needs and pleasure.

How do things like clutter, not compromising over the interior
decor, etc. affect your relationship? In addition to what I shared above clutter may create a barrier between you and your partner. Sometimes that barrier is obvious such as pillows that keep your partner from sitting next to you on a sofa or getting near you in a bed. Or more subtle such as a collection of salt and pepper shakers Dolls or Star Trek or Sports memorabilia that take over the house and create clutter and dust and space for the other partner to mark his or her territory and or that take up the attention and time of a partner.

Sometimes it can be a color choice that significantly bothers a partner. For example, When my fiancé and I were getting ready to marry we talked about and redid my house to his comfort level. I had a turquoise guest bath that my fiancé hated as he thought it was too girly. I loved it but it was painful for him to even look at it so we went on home tours and he fell in love with this moss grey-green color and we went that day to get it and paint the bathroom and he was so extremely happy. I also had a collection of fiesta ware on display in the kitchen and he was a bit overwhelmed by it. It was not his favorite thing, but he knew I loved it so we compromised and we went through a scaled it back. I also had terracotta bunnies in the front yard and he again thought they were a bit too feminine and they were not that important to me so we moved them to the side yard.

What are some solutions to overcome these negative effects?

What are some other surprising home-related factors that could
have a negative impact? Lighting temperature and sound and size Some people like dark cool small quiet spaces that they can retreat to like a cave and recharge and relax.
So people like bright light airing large spaces filled with happy music. So creating spaces that give both partners their own happy space or that compromise on those needs is important for the overall mood of the members of the relationship. Again in my relationship, we had a cool lower lighting space to watch TV and the kitchen brighter. As a side note, when we were dating I painted my kitchen floor with bright colors like the partridge family bus. My sweetie was not overly fond of that floor, but to show me how much he loved me, he got down on one knee and proposed on that very floor!!! It was very symbolic of him embracing my happy bright personality!

Safety Tips for Concert and Festival Attendees, How to Deal With Crowds, Recommendations for Crowd Safety From Body Language Expert, Patti Wood

 

These are tips that I not only recommend as a body language expert but also as 5 foot one petite blonde concert, and music festival attendee use. 

Tips

1. Know your territory. That may involve getting a map and studying it carefully before the event begins so you know where the stage or stages, exits are. If you can rather than just knowing that there’s a map somewhere on your phone if you can print out the map too. 
2. Get there early. That way you can see the space and again study your territory the stages in the exits. 
3. Introduce yourself and your friends to security. Make sure you feel safe and comfortable with them and ask them how things are going how they’re reading the crowd. I use to train law enforcement officers so I go a bit above and beyond and ask if they need a soft drink or a snack. 
4. Make plans with your friends for what you would do and where would you meet should someone get lost or some emergency happen. Have a backup to that plan. 
5. When you get to your seat or to the stage look around again. Note the different exits from your seat or your standing position. Note any barriers that may be in your way. Always look for exits to your side in front of you and behind you. 
6. Read the crowd. Your central nervous system is your best friend in potentially dangerous situations. Check-in with how you were feeling in your body to note whether there is danger. If you see agitated or angry people move away from the space as quickly and calmly as possible to somewhere safe, knowing that may be the exit. Aggressive behavior usually involves people not only raising their energy level but forming nonverbal cue gesture cues that are sharp-edged elbows out weapon-like hands in our motions and fast unpredictable motions. Your primitive limbic brain picks up on these cues before your neocortex. You may not be able to formulate words as to why you’re feeling uncomfortable but your body knows. Move away from danger. Every crowd has energy and crowds that are dangerous or recognizable if you’re paying attention. There’s a difference between excitement and being pulled into that wonderful uplifting excited dancing singing together crowd energy and dangerous energy. If you feel it flip and you feel scared move away and out of the crowd. 
7. Know that the response to danger is not just flight or flight it’s also freezing in place faint or fall. If you find your body wanting to freeze in place that’s a sign you’re in danger move away from the danger. Override whatever social norms there are about having to be “cool” or not look afraid or be nice to dangerous aggressive or rude people. Move away from them. 
8. If you are small or if you stumble in a loving mob, tell those around you I need help shout, "Lift me up" "I need help lift me up." 
9. In preparation, if you can bring a clear plastic case for your phone in some sort of lanyard that you can wear around your neck it can be helpful. In a dangerous crowd,      situation trying to hold your phone as you move through the crowd can be dangerous you may need both hands. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.