Bobbi Kristina's Body Language During the Oprah Interview

Listen at the link below as Patti analyzes for ShowBiz Tonight the body language of Bobbi Kristina during the recent interview by Oprah and Ray J's body language when being interviewed about Whitney Houston's death.

Patti on ShowBiz Tonight:
http://www.youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert?feature=mhee

Oprah's Interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84x0EsBRqsE

Ray J's Emotional Interview:
http://www.eonline.com/news/ray_j_whitney_houston_i_miss_you/295171

Patti's Notes:
Bobbi Kristina, (Whitney Houston's Daughter) body language insights during Oprah Winfrey interview March 11, 2012

Repeating statements in effort to believe the positive things she is saying and make them true.
Bobbi shows a lot of self-comfort cues at the end of the statements showing that many of the positive things are not true yet but she is using them to reassure herself.
When we are little our moms touch and hold us rub our head and comfort us.
Self-comfort cues are a way to reassure ourselves when Mom’s not there.
Often sweeps her hands away from her body when talking about hearing her mother’s voice or music, showing she wants that painful voice to get away from her and out of her head.

When Oprah asks Bobbi if she can listen to her Mother’s music, she brushes her hair back three times and as she says, “I can hear her music” and as she brushes it back the third time she puts her hand into holding it in knuckles up fist. Distinct comfort cues that show she not only doesn’t want to hear her mother’s music but that she is fighting against the thought of hearing it.

“I can hear her voice,” she is striking with open hands away from her head as if she wants her Mother’s voice out of her head.

I got you, scratching her hair away.

Bobbi says to her Mother’s spirit “I will always need you. “Pushing her hair away and scratching the back of her head. “I can hear her voice talking to me.”

Bobbi says “Her spirit is strong” she puts her hands in her pockets, “It is a strong spirit,” she shakes her head no.

“I wake up at night all the time. At 5:00 in the morning.
“I just start praying,” Again her hands flow out and away.

Bobbi says, “I remember what she told me, what she taught me. “ “That’s what I take in that’s all that I take in.” She does another scratch this time scratching the hair away from her head one, two, three, four, and then five times. The intensity of this scratching motion on her right side of her head show some of what Whitney taught her daughter is what Bobbi would like to scrape away.

“I can still sit there and laugh with her” her hands and arms scoop that in “I can still sit there and talk with her” she takes her finger and scratches behind her ear.

“The first night I couldn’t stay there… the next morning...” she does a clear the throat cough that indicates the pain that morning after her mother died is tough going down.

“I thought it was ok to stay in the house” she holds her hand palm out to brush back her hair and shutters her eyes. “Still have all the things she has given me” she repeats it again.

Time code 5: 00 Bobbi says, “No one knows she was an amazing spirit”
Oprah says “That’s why we are doing this so people can hear…” Bobbi interrupts, “and that’s what I want.” Bobbi says that with more conviction than anything else in the interview.
Oprah finishes her thought, “The truth.” Hearing those words the truth, Bobbi says the words “that is exactly what I want,” but she for the first time in the interview scratches her nose, showing she doesn’t like the smell of what the truth may reveal. She then speaks of what she does want the public to know.
“She was my mother, she was a best friend” “We were one unit.”
Asked about dealing with the Paparazzi “Is it harder for you without her, she clears her throat, “At first it was.” “Did you ever feel she would leave?
“Last day,” coughs it out.
10:00 all these negative thoughts


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Why Black Women May Smile Less and Get Angry Instead

Why Black Women May Smile Less and Get Angry Instead

Patti, Christelyn Karazin here, the author of the book on interracial and intercultural relationships you spoke with a while back. Can you comment for, www.beyondblackwhite.com, regarding the issue of black women and why many just don't smile. Here's an article for reference: > http://www.theroot.com/views/single-minded-black-girls-puberty from Helena Andrews, author of Bitch Is the New Black.

Here are the rough notes from my response. Christenlyn. Fascinating

• smiling is sign of appeasement,
• people with lower status smile more often to get what they want,
• Women smile more than men in social settings.
• Men are often uncomfortable when a women who typically smiles in not smiling. (I believe men who say, "why aren't you smiling?' are concerned that a non-smiling women may be angry or trying to assert power if she is not smiling. Each time I taught my Women and Leadership workshops at the Wharton School of Business I would ask how many men have said, "Why aren't you smiling," to you and every woman would raise her hand.

Research also shows:

• High Status seemingly "Powerful people" smile less, Male or Female
• Men with more testosterone smile less and are quicker to respond with anger.

Here you have a fascinating and in some ways very sad, cultural and racial switch. So a women says, "I can't smile if I want to be powerful and accepted." to look tough and be accepted by my female peers “I need to sneer, and look like a bitch."

An angry face does get a different response than an appeasing smile. It can feel empowering. But at a great cost.

• A smile actually changes your brain chemistry so you feel happier.
• The "facial feedback loop" insures a smile is typically met with a smile from other people.
• Women who smile are typically seen as more friendly and more attractive
• Women who smile in the yearbook photos are found to be happier 25 years later.

A sneer is a prickly protective armor. You won't be stomped on, but you may keep people too far away to touch and hold you close. It may feel like it empowers you. Tyler Perry gets laughs by showing angry bitchy sneering non smiling women. The title character in the Stephan King movie Deloris Clayborn says, "Sometimes being a bitch is all you have to hold on to." sometimes the Black angry women in Tyler Perry's movies just complain, but often the angry "bitch" is energized to powerful destructive action. The iconic defiant sneer on the wife in the movie, "Waiting to Exhale" comes to mind. She goes from a happy smiling wife to a sneering ragging tiger getting mad enough at her unfaithful husband that she takes all his clothes and goodies like his golf club and piles them on his Mercedes and sets them on fire. The sneer on her face along with her defiant upraised chin as she watches the flames climb seemed to say to Black Women, stop smiling and taking it, get angry and start taking.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language for power

Here are some notes from Health magazine for an article that will apear in few months.


Making your body compact by doing things like keeping your arms close to your side, or folding them in your lap or crossing your legs tightly can may you appear not merely closed, but subordinate.-When you take up less space , you may appear and feel less powerful, and people may treat you that way, says Patti Wood, MA a body language expert in Atlanta, Georgia. -When you want to command respect, whether it’s from a co-worker or your teen, Patti says. “..take up a little more space. Stand up straight and relaxed, with your feet six to seven inches
apart if you’re a woman more if you are a man.”