Anger And Hatred, What Are Powerful Speaking Techniques To Move An Audience?

I speak on nonverbal persuasion theory.  I have studied hundreds of hours on different political figures speaking over the years from Kennedy and Martin Luther Kind to Hitler. I have indeed watched hundreds of hours of video of Hitler's speeches, parades and interactions. I was the nonverbal communication expert on a six-part series on Hitler’s rise and fall. I watched the propaganda. Anger has the strongest pulling effect. 

In Trump's  Pennsylvania rally after the Parkland shooting Trump is seen speaking with not one not two but three blonde teenage girls behind him. In this rally speech trump smears, name calls and denigrates the credibility of the national media and trash mouths specific individuals. The speech tears down. It's not rallying people to a positive cause or a positive change. It's filled with anger and attacks without a focus other than to be angry.

In the background the girls make faces grimacing and smiling. And seemingly cheer him on smiling at the cameras. These are not young people standing up to a cause they believe in. They are cheering an angry guy. When I watched it a chill went up the back of my neck. Because these are young people who are being persuaded by anger. In the video, you can see that the girls don’t even hear the end of his sentences before they cheer or boo.  It doesn’t matter who or what he attacks. They just hear a few hate-filled words and react with their limbic brains to the anger. Anger is the strongest persuasive force. But, there is a cost. 

So what are the positive actions we can take? I plan on talking about this with young people I know and ask them what they feel as Trump speaks, I will work on being someone who will not only point out negative behavior but notice if I model better behavior. I will focus on positive action.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What types of people narcissists tend to seek out in romantic relationships

I speak on how to deal with difficult people. 

1. What types of people narcissists tend to seek out in romantic relationships (people-pleasers, etc.)

Narcissists choose people pleasers, and good listeners. They want someone who is empathetic, in fact, “Hyper Empathy is preferred” and kind. They want someone who is “High bonding”, “High Sentimentality.” They want someone who gives readily, gives of his or her emotions, who is low in “Harm Avoidance” and high in “cooperation.”

2. Signs that you are dating a narcissist (i.e. what kind of qualities do narcissists generally have?)

Charm, Charisma, Intense mesmerizing eye contact, high touch behavior that starts very quickly, such as holding hands on the first date, or hugging spontaneously right away, or touching to push back their dates hair or take a thread off a jacket on the first date.  Close talker and or just plain standing or sitting closer than normal, a space invader. May talk slightly louder or very loudly and may gesture in an over the top manner and may interrupt in a charming enthusiastic way. May have a loud or unusual laugh, and may use the laugh to interrupt you, though it may sound like they are indeed laughing at something you said, if you listen closely it interrupts your “turn” to speak. And if you listen even more closely you will notice they interrupt when you take away too much attention from them. High self-discloser on a first date. They will sweep you off your feet and charm you. Love bombing you so that you feel like you are on an emotional high, they will put you up on a pedestal complimenting you in an over the top manner and perhaps showering with small gifts. “Love bombing” is a phrase describing this stage, in which the narcissistic person may smother you with praise, courting, intense sex, vacations, promises of a future together, and designation, essentially, as the most special person ever.

3. Tips to help readers avoid dating narcissists.

Notice the first date. Do you feel overwhelmed swept up? Highly emotionally charged. Does the conversation seem very intimate? Are you sharing stories of your bad relationships? Do they claim they were a victim in their last relationship and tell you the horrible details? Do they complement you more than once? Do they say you are different or special on the FIRST date? Do they lean in close or touch you on FIRST date? If they describe their ex as crazy, bi polar, a drug addict, and or anorexic or a bitch run, because they are not just a narcissist they are a sociopath. RUN! 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

     

What made Arnold Palmer the King of Charisma - Insights from Patti Wood, Body Language Expert

What made Arnold Palmer the

King of Charisma

USA TODAY Sports' Lorenzo Reyes was on hand during what was an emotional day as family and friends of Arnold Palmer gathered to celebrate the late golfer's life. USA TODAY Sports

Thousands of people are expected to gather Tuesday in Latrobe, Pa., for a memorial service honoring the Arnold Palmer, known as "The King" of golf but also considered a king of something else —charisma.

Two experts on the subject explained for USA TODAY Sports what made Palmer so charismatic and, in turn, made people so fond of the legendary golfer who died Sept. 25 at the age of 87.

Countless photos show Palmer flashing his signature smile — open mouthed and revealing his front teeth, noted Patti Wood, an expert in body language and nonverbal communication.

“Most boys stop doing that at the age of 5 unless they’re very joyful,’’ said Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma. “But he gave that smile all the time. And the crinkles around the eyes showed a sincere, real smile. You just see it over and over and over again."

The smile is encompassed in what Wood cites as charisma’s three categories — likability, attractiveness and power. Likability also includes laugh, and Wood said Palmer had a world-class laugh.

“His jaw would drop down, so he had a large, open mouth,’’ Wood said. “And the sound of his laugh was deep and just very warm and strong at the same time."

Palmer’s attractiveness, well, Wood suggested that requires little expert research.

“Blond and gorgeous,’’ she said. “Handsome and well dressed. He just had some of those classic characteristics of Adonis-like attractiveness.’’

Jennifer Withelm, an international speaker on charisma, said that Palmer wasn’t perfect and neither was his swing. More importantly, she said, he had great integrity.

“He played golf raw, ferocious and unorthodox and was an enormously good golfer nevertheless,’’ Withelm wrote it an email. “Palmer had rough edges and was a great role model for a charismatic person. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be full of integrity.’’

Controlled emotions also bolstered Palmer’s charisma, according to Withelm.

“Yes, Palmer showed emotions,’’ she said. “But he was always aware of his emotions, even when he lost. No uncontrolled fits of rages, just pure confidence in his ability to win.

“But Palmer was not always perfect in this personality characteristic. There were times in the 1960s where he wanted to win too badly and lost because he became a high flyer. Over time he got better in tranquility.’’

The rise of TV also captured Palmer’s extroverted ways, evidenced by his interaction with fellow players and fans, and that reflected his charisma, according to Withelm.

“Charisma is a relational phenomenon,’’ she said. “It’s no use to sit in your closet all alone and say: ‘Wow, I am charismatic!’ ” No one will see it.’’

 Link to USA Today article: http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/golf/pga/2016/10/04/arnold-palmer-king-charisma/91501472/

Patti Wood, MA,  The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What is the root word for Charima that defines the word.

Charisma comes from the Greek word “charis,” which means grace. Research shows that people with charisma are able to gracefully persuade us to buy from them, vote for them and (as charismatic leaders like Kennedy and Clinton have shown) mate with them. But, as stressed above, there is more to leadership than charisma.
So look for more than power, attractiveness and likeability in this election roster of presidential candidates. Seek instead credibility


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Poor Communication Skills, Lack of Face-to-Face Time, My Childhood Was Wonderful - A Body Language Expert's Perspective

When I was growing up, the neighborhood kids all knew each other and whose mom made the best cookies.  We played outside all day and we didn’t have to come home till the streetlights came on.  Our moms would leave a big pitcher of “Kool Aid” and yummy snacks on the kitchen table if we wanted to swing by and grab lunch.  We would have adventures, minnow fishing, tree house building, secret forts, and hikes up the creek. We would play games in the street. red light green light, softball and Simon says. We would pretend we were the Beatles and the Partridge family and give concerts. We would get on our bikes together and ride miles to the shopping center. We had enormous freedom. We felt powerful and creative and limitless.  

Now so many kids seem to stay glued to the TV from all day and late into the night or they are on their other electronic devices. I see the effect of the lack of face-to-face in my work training those kids as they go into the workplace. They don’t know how to communicate with each other. If you don’t grow up modeling your parents communication over and over again, for example at the family dinner table or with your gang of friends, you don’t learn the complexities or body language and paralanguage so you cannot read another person’s emotions and you don’t know simple interaction skills like “Turn Taking” or how to ask a question, and listening.

 

In my book “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma” I discuss what you can do about this to improve your own skills and some of the scientific that explain the problems with using technology too much.  For example:  “When you talk to other people face-to-face you lay down neural pathways to the social centers of your brain.  The more you interact interpersonally human to human the stronger the pathways become. Meeting people and talking to them becomes easier and you become more skilled and confident and make a great first impression

When you interact with a technological device you make quick shallow decisions, such as, “I want this text. I don't want this text. ““I want this website it’s interesting. I don't want this one it’s boring” “I want to take this call.” “I don’t want to take this call.” These quick shallow decisions lay down pathways to the ego centers of your brain. In fact, doing so gives you a bit of a high and makes you feel superior to those around you. You can now understand the techno jerk that seems irritated and uncomfortable to have to talk to you. Unfortunately, to successfully make quick shallow decisions you have to weaken pathways to the social centers of your brain. You’re laying your tracks down to the ego center that produces that nice addictive high but interpersonal communication becomes more difficult and may even feel like an inferior means of interacting. Something you are "above" having to do. “

 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

KHSU Radio Interview of Patti on SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma

Below is a wonderful note from the host of the radio interview that I did for KHSU.  Click the link given in the note to hear the entire interview. 

Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed interviewing Patti. The original air date of January 14, 2013 was postponed due to a preemptive programming decision at KHSU.  Therefore the interview will be airing tomorrow, January 21, 2013 at 1:30 p.m. PST.  The interview can be streamed live at www.khsu.org.  It will also be available in the KHSU archives for the two weeks following the air date.  To listen to the archived program go to www.khsu.org, click on web audio, then audio archives.  Scroll down the page to Through the Eyes of Women and choose the Windows Media Player version or an mp3 version. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.