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Showing posts with label comfort cues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comfort cues. Show all posts

First Date Signals - Signs He Is Into You - Story For Elite Daily

I just contributed to a First Date Signals story for Elite Daily. Since my links to stories rarely make it on people's time lines, here are a few of my rough notes from what I shared.

Signs he is into you:
1. The most obvious, and not under their conscious control is pupil dilation.
2. Another is body orientation. Woman love to be face to face, so don’t think he is NOT into you if he wants to sit kitty corner or side by side, that is a guy’s signal they want to self-disclose and connect.
3. Leaning in as he says something positive or leaning in as you say something, for example, you talk about a recent loss and he says, ‘I am so sorry and leans in.’
4. Symbolic reaching - placing his arm on the table so it looks like he wants to touch your arm or hold hands. (I love this as the man is not breaking boundaries and touching, but is showing he wants to!).
5. Touching innocently which means on safe nonsexual parts of the body, like touching you lightly and briefly on the forearm.
6. He smiles big showing his upper front teeth, which men, after the age of five, only do when they are really happy!
7. Raises his eyebrows as he first sees you, he likes what he sees and he wants more of it.
8. Locks eyes and keeps looking at you, and your mouth. His eyes on your mouth means he wants to kiss you.
9. Not wanting to end the date!!! Time is a nonverbal communicator and he wants to spend more time with you.
10. Asking you what you like to do.
11. Giving you every bit of his contact information and telling you where he lives and what his place is like. He wants you to be able to reach him and he wants you to see his place!!!


Signs he is not into you:
1. Short answers to your questions
2. Looking left and right or toward the exit
3. Leaning back and staying leaned back to symbolically leave you!
4. Placing his phone between the two of you. Looking a long time at the menus, or commenting on other people who are around you, instead of focusing on you.
How can you distinguish nervousness from lack of interest.
If he is nervous you will more than likely see repeated “Comfort Cues” like touching his side or adjusting his cuff or moving the silverware as he speaks or after he speaks, showing he is nervous about how HE looks. If he does the not into cues or comfort cues while YOU are sharing something important that he should be listening to that’s a problem.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Bobbi Kristina's Body Language During the Oprah Interview


Listen at the link below as Patti analyzes for ShowBiz Tonight the body language of Bobbi Kristina during the recent interview by Oprah and Ray J's body language when being interviewed about Whitney Houston's death.

Patti on ShowBiz Tonight:
http://www.youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert?feature=mhee

Oprah's Interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84x0EsBRqsE

Ray J's Emotional Interview:
http://www.eonline.com/news/ray_j_whitney_houston_i_miss_you/295171

Patti's Notes:
Bobbi Kristina, (Whitney Houston's Daughter) body language insights during Oprah Winfrey interview March 11, 2012

Repeating statements in effort to believe the positive things she is saying and make them true.
Bobbi shows a lot of self-comfort cues at the end of the statements showing that many of the positive things are not true yet but she is using them to reassure herself.
When we are little our moms touch and hold us rub our head and comfort us.
Self-comfort cues are a way to reassure ourselves when Mom’s not there.
Often sweeps her hands away from her body when talking about hearing her mother’s voice or music, showing she wants that painful voice to get away from her and out of her head.

When Oprah asks Bobbi if she can listen to her Mother’s music, she brushes her hair back three times and as she says, “I can hear her music” and as she brushes it back the third time she puts her hand into holding it in knuckles up fist. Distinct comfort cues that show she not only doesn’t want to hear her mother’s music but that she is fighting against the thought of hearing it.

“I can hear her voice,” she is striking with open hands away from her head as if she wants her Mother’s voice out of her head.

I got you, scratching her hair away.

Bobbi says to her Mother’s spirit “I will always need you. “Pushing her hair away and scratching the back of her head. “I can hear her voice talking to me.”

Bobbi says “Her spirit is strong” she puts her hands in her pockets, “It is a strong spirit,” she shakes her head no.

“I wake up at night all the time. At 5:00 in the morning.
“I just start praying,” Again her hands flow out and away.

Bobbi says, “I remember what she told me, what she taught me. “ “That’s what I take in that’s all that I take in.” She does another scratch this time scratching the hair away from her head one, two, three, four, and then five times. The intensity of this scratching motion on her right side of her head show some of what Whitney taught her daughter is what Bobbi would like to scrape away.

“I can still sit there and laugh with her” her hands and arms scoop that in “I can still sit there and talk with her” she takes her finger and scratches behind her ear.

“The first night I couldn’t stay there… the next morning...” she does a clear the throat cough that indicates the pain that morning after her mother died is tough going down.

“I thought it was ok to stay in the house” she holds her hand palm out to brush back her hair and shutters her eyes. “Still have all the things she has given me” she repeats it again.

Time code 5: 00 Bobbi says, “No one knows she was an amazing spirit”
Oprah says “That’s why we are doing this so people can hear…” Bobbi interrupts, “and that’s what I want.” Bobbi says that with more conviction than anything else in the interview.
Oprah finishes her thought, “The truth.” Hearing those words the truth, Bobbi says the words “that is exactly what I want,” but she for the first time in the interview scratches her nose, showing she doesn’t like the smell of what the truth may reveal. She then speaks of what she does want the public to know.
“She was my mother, she was a best friend” “We were one unit.”
Asked about dealing with the Paparazzi “Is it harder for you without her, she clears her throat, “At first it was.” “Did you ever feel she would leave?
“Last day,” coughs it out.
10:00 all these negative thoughts


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://PattiWood.net. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Tot Mom, Casey Anthony's Body Language During Recent Court Appearance for Jury Selection




I studied Tot Mom, Casey Anthony's body language during her recent court appearance for the Nancy Grace show. She demonstrated several comfort cues such as holding her own hand and bringing her hand up to her mouth which showed her high level of anxiety. She is also seen obsessively adjusting her drink on a napkin, adjusting the band on her ponytail and other behavior that reveals her desire to control what she can control.


Check the link below to my YouTube channel to see the interview and observe Casey's comforting and controlling behaviors.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXiRb9__6Q8

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.