Update of Gabby Petito Case. New Body Language and Behavioral Insights in the Case.


The footage of the police stop. 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/16323894/gabby-petito-police-video-brian-laundrie-shut-up/


Update of Gabby Petito Case. New Body Langauge and Behavioral Insights in the Case.

 Gabby's eyes looked puffy from crying. One Instagram user commented: "Her eyes look puffy here like she was crying the night before."

The first thing that strikes me is that they put her in the back of the police car, where she may have feared that they would take her in, making her less comfortable, less likely to self-disclose and describe the whole situation, and more likely to be defensive.

The next thing I notice is how red and puffy her eyes are. The police didn't see that she had obviously been crying, showing that she may is the more likely the victim rather than the perpetrator.

The next thing I notice is that she is what she says. She is taking responsibility for getting HIM upset. That is a red flag abuse victim script. For example, I was apologizing, but I guess I said it in a mean tone," said as she is crying and brushing her hands down on her legs on what is called a "Stress Clearing." She is the one that

I said before for another article on this for THESUN that she rubs her neck, and that isa comfort cue, but I think it's a mimicking action of where she felt vulnerable on her neck. If people touch around the carotid artery -- the vulnerable part of the neck -- that typically indicates a great fear and vulnerability of safety. She's comfort cuing on a part of the body that if it was hurt, it might mean death. She says this as she is apologizing, indicating that she might've been fearing for her life."

 I also noticed this time that she said with great distress the very specific and concrete things that he did. "grabbed my face," left a "burning" gash on my cheek, and red marks on my arm.

 

I see how Laundrie showed evidence of Malignant Narcissists' behavior. He was not just calm; he was smiling, charming, and put on a bit of show for the officers. Clearly, he had charmed a lot of people in his life to get out of things. I've analyzed police interviews and interrogations for over 30 years, and I can share that the charming suspects whose behavior doesn't match the serious circumstances of the crime should not just be red flags but flaming fireworks to officers.

Laundrie told the police that Petito "gets really worked up, and when she does, she swings, and she had her cell phone in her hand. So I was trying to push her away." 

And notice that he blamed her for him having to "Push her away." They should have asked follow-up questions about the Pushing away behavior and had him demonstrate it and her demonstrate it.  

There is such a vast difference in their body language. That mismatch is in itself a red fla


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Most Serious Crises Facing Businesses in 2022

I am a consultant and professional speaker, and a core audience is business owners and C-suite level executives in a million to multibillion-dollar companies. The number one issue has been and still is finding and keeping employees.

So many of my clients and audience members had issues like loyal employees who wanted to stay in their small town or the same city, and so they remained employees, but during covid, they were offered jobs with better pay and benefits where they could stay where they are, and work remotely for a company in another city.  

 

I can't tell you how many business owners lament that they thought their employees were happy and "Like Family" but left for more money. They feel betrayed.

It's a combination of the employees having child care issues,  being unhappy and not sharing it with their companies, being ok, but seeing greener grass offered, or owners and C-suite executives not being aware of just how dissatisfied their employees were. They talk to me about the difficulties, the time, and the money they now have to spend to find replacement employees.

 The other related cause is that their businesses have grown so much during the pandemic that they need to find many more employees.

I recommend

  • getting consistent, timely and specific feedback from employees on their job satisfaction, and
  • seeing what you can do as a company to help employees days off,  child care, and elder care issues.
  • Make sure your HR component is always actively looking for good employees
  • bonuses to employees that bring in a great new employee through their network. 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Best Way to Give Feedback to Employees


 

  • Give it as soon as the positive or negative behavior occurs.
  • Stick with talking about one behavior rather than a laundry list of pent-up frustrations or irritations.
  • If you are giving a piece of criticism, wait till you are alone with the employee to share it rather than speaking in front of others to show your respect for everyone.
  • Make sure the criticism matters, saying it will make a difference for your business, and it's not just a personal pet peeve or a put-down. For example, years ago, I had a boss who was rarely in the office, and our clients never came into the office, much less the breakroom. He humiliated a fellow consultant in front of all of us by saying, "I don't like the smell of popcorn. It's unprofessional. What would our clients think? Never make it again." The consultant left the firm and took his high-paying clients with him!
  • If you've waited for a pattern of good or bad behavior to occur before you give the feedback, make sure you stick with the one behavior and say when it happens or how many times it happens rather than a laundry list of bad behavior.
  • Give the praise or criticism using specifics the way a scientist or reporter would—for example, you were 20 minutes late five times in the past three weeks. Not, You're always late. And I have noticed that over the past month, you smile and greet customers in a genuinely warm and welcoming manner that makes them feel good coming into our business. Rather than, "You're good at customer service."
  • I am an expert in nonverbal communication, so I am cautious with my tone of voice when giving criticism. I want to make sure I am honoring and respectful and don't ever speak in anger or frustration.
  • If you are giving criticism, make sure you have a conversation about what the positive behavior would look like. For example, you can ask them what they think the replacement behavior should be and discuss any challenges they may have with making the change, and if that doesn't work, offer what you think the ideal behavior would look like. 




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How To Dress For Zoom Job Interview, How to Look Good on Zoom.


I am a body language expert. I am a speaker and consultant with Fortune 100 companies and the media about nonverbal communication. I have written several books, including "Snap, Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language, and Charisma.

 

 Research shows that perceptions of professional attributes, like competence, composure, and knowledge, "are affected most by dress, with formal dress resulting in the most positive perception." It also affects how you see yourself. Research shows that dressing "properly" has an impact on how you see your own skill set.

 

On Zoom, the top half of your body is the focus. Try all the outfits you are considering, sitting down on a rehearsal zoom call to see how they look. Does everything fit without pulling, gapping, or tugging on the button? Does it look too big or bulky?

The look should be crisp, well-ironed, and ideally, solid colors that "read" stronger, rather than distracting or too personalized (not plaid, polka dotted, flowered, a Hawaiian, or shirts with slogans.)

 

Next, pull down your jacket, shirt, or dress down in the back. I can't tell you how many people I coach forget that step. They check their outfit standing in front of a mirror and forget they need to look good in it while sitting down. Make sure if you're a woman that camera doesn't let the viewer see down the top of your dress or shirt to your bra.

 

Look at significant newscasters on TV to find the model of someone you think looks good on camera from the waist up.

Make sure that the shoulders of your jacket, shirt, blouse, or dress fit. The seam for the sleeves should be right at the end of your shoulders. There are women's clothes that are currently popular with dropped sleeves or no sleeve seam that are cute but look overwhelming and messy on camera. For women, a sleeveless or short sleeve solid color dressed in jewel tone looks the best. Note how female newscasters seldom wear look sleeves or brown, beige, black, and pastels.

 

If you are interviewing for job wear, you will dress casually and go at least one level up from the casual you would see in that business. In an interview, you show respect for the person interviewing you, the job, and the company.

 


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why is There and Increase in Bad Behavior During Covid? By Stander Intervention. Being a Good Samaritan in the Age of Covid.

Bystander intervention and "good samaritan" behaviors in the era
of covid. Are we becoming more or less caring? What would you do
- and what should you do - when you see a stranger in distress?

I have noticed and discussed a behavior change with my clients, audiences, and media. I really liked the options that AOC had on her Twitter feed after the Comic Sexually harassed her on the steps last week, and I have been thinking about this from a nonverbal perspective as well as an expert in DISC personality assessment

 

We see more risk-taking, rule-breaking behavior that started during lockdown when a larger percentage of high-risk takers, the “Drivers” and “Influencers” on the DISC personality inventory, were out without the usual “Correctors” and “Supporters.” That would typically model good rule-following behavior to prevent and stop it. Instead, for two years, the rule breakers have experienced an unprecedently freedom to do whatever they want. They have even increased their bad behavior to get to an increased “Rush” from the rule-breaking behavior, similar to a drug addict increasing their drugs or upping to a more dangerous drug.

 

So now that the rule followers are out and about, they are dealing with rule breakers that are more likely to feel all-powerful, that space and resources are theirs and can not be stopped. That’s a much more dangerous kind of person to deal with if you are trying to help someone being harmed or harmed by them. Our limbic brains respond to danger with one or more stress responses FREEZE Flight Fall, Faint, or Friend.

 

The Danger of being a “Good Samaritan” has increased because of the fear of catching Covid in regular face-to-face interpersonal interactions closer than six feet.

 

So I recommend that people assess the Danger of interacting before interacting. If you are freezing in place, for example, ask yourself if you are genuinely in Danger before acting. If your feet spread and your hands go into fists, should you jump in and fight or not?

There are simple things a good Samaritan can do, such as pull over in their car and get far behind someone of color who has been pulled over by the police, staying far enough away not to be in Danger but to act as an observer.

If someone is being actively harassed and you don’t feel safe actively intervening, you can also stay six feet away and give a critical look and act as an “I am watching you, so you better stop” Samaritan.

You and ask, “Do you want help now?” “I am here. Do you want me to call for help?”

 

.

 





Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.