Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog : Sep 25, 2014

Apps: Has Disruptive Tech Gone Too Far?

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Sofia & Joe are Stuck Like Glue

After three months together, Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello are not much for giving each other space. During a July stroll, Patti says she likes the way that Sofia gently hangs onto Joe's hand. His arm around her, while his left hand is in his pocket, is such an alpha male gesture. In August, their roles were reversed during a shopping trip in Malibu. Sofia is like a child with a brand-new toy. She is grabbing Joe like she is saying, "He's mine!"

July photo gets a 4 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale

August photo gets a 3 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

People Don't Like Anything (or Anyone) Moving Toward Them

People Don't Like Anything

(Or Anyone)

Moving Toward Them

There is a new study discussed in the October Harvard Business Review that says people don't like anything or anyone moving towards them. The research the interview is based on is called Approach Aversion: Hedonic Reactions Toward Approaching Stimuli.

http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/christopher.hsee/vita/Papers/Approach%20Aversion.pdf

The third research study method had a video tape of a man walking toward the subjects

viewing the tape, walking backward away from them and walking in place. The researchers found complex results but, in the discussion in the Harvard review they recommend that speakers not step forward towards their audiences when they speak as the subjects in the original study had an approach aversion result. Though the subjects in the study viewed the man approaching them on tape negatively no matter how he approached I wonder if because it was a video tape rather than a live person who could establish rapport? I think there is another way to look at it as well.

As a body language expert and presentation skills trainer I strongly recommend moving toward the audience to break through the "stranger barrier" and establish rapport with the audience and to indicate that the you are the one in charge and have power. So there may be another benefit that goes along with the advance aversion finding. You can briefly shock your audience by moving towards them and thus capture their attention. I am a short blond women so I know moving into the audience is a significant advantage for me as a professional speaker.

The research study had the man on the tape use different facial expressions. In on his facial expressions where neutral, another he was somewhat frowning and in the positive he was somewhat smiling. There are gender based differences in many aspects of persevered power and perceived fear. I do believe that men need to be more careful about moving toward their audiences to start their speeches. They should give what I call "softening signals" first such as smiles, as in the studies, but be very careful what kind of smiles. Having done research on smiling for many years a small change can make an enormous difference in the perception and emotional response. You may want to look at my blog posts on smiling to see what a true full face smile looks like and practice smiling all the way to eyes so you have the little pockets under your eyes and the small lines radiating outward as well as a relaxed lips smile. The smile is helpful to make your approach be less threatening, but I advise you also open up the front of the body, showing the palms of their hands, raising the eye brows in an eyebrow flash and perhaps if they are tall or otherwise imposing, tilting their head to the side very briefly before or as they move forward. You might also make sure your opening is positive and warmly given so your voice (para language) agrees with the warm opening.

How To Stay Positive

I love this funny little video. It is so hysterical. This little girl knows how to get her day started right. My new morning ritual is to start the day like she does!

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=393561765678

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Silence is the New Luxury in a Resort. Why Quiet is a New Trend for Luxury Hotels.

Last week I stayed at a Beach Front Room at a Ritz Carlton in Florida, The Penthouse Suite in an Omni Hotel in Houston and a Luxury Hotel in Ft Lauderdale and in all three hotels I wore my noise canceling headset in the room because the outside noise be it a live Reggae Band, or Cars on the highway were so loud. It does not surprise me that the latest trend in luxury travel doesn’t involve thread count or a seaweed-mud wrap. It’s silence. Hotels from luxury resorts to business-travel chains are marketing things like noise-free zones, triple-paned glass, soundproof walls, and serene settings where the whole sell is the ability to hear a pin drop. As an introvert on the Myers Briggs personality indicator that is music make that blessed silence to my ears. Here is a fun article on the subject.

Thought you might be interested in this: People will pay a lot of money for some peace and quiet. http://for.tn/1q7oFvT

Facts About Online Dating

· Match.com reports that 44% of its members in the United States have children.

· On free dating sites, at least 10% of new accounts are from scammers.

· One-third of people who have used online dating have never actually gone on a date with someone they met on these sites.

· Thirty-three percent of online daters form a relationship, 33% do not, and 33% give up.

· On internet dating sites, men who reported incomes higher than $250,000 received 156% more email than those with $50,000.

· One-in-five online daters have asked someone else to help them with their profile.

· Many online daters enlist their friends in an effort to put their best digital foot forward.

· Some 22% of online daters have asked someone to help them create or review their profile. Women are especially likely to enlist a friend in helping them craft the perfect profile—30% of female online daters have done this, compared with 16% of men.

· Online dating peaks among people in their mid-20s through mid-40s. Some 22% of 25-34 year olds and 17% of 35-44 year olds have used an online dating site or mobile dating app.

· 45-54 year olds are just as likely to date online as are 18-24 year olds (8% of 45-54 year olds and 10% of 18-24 year olds are online daters). This might seem counterintuitive—aren’t most of those 18-24 year olds single? But middle-aged adults are often described as a “thin dating market,” meaning that they have a relatively limited number of available partners within their immediate social circles.

· Ninety-two percent of single parents would rather date other single parents.

· 5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online.

· Despite the wealth of digital tools that allow people to search for potential partners, and even as one-in-ten Americans are now using one of the many online dating platforms, the vast majority of relationships still begin offline. even among Americans who have been with their spouse or partner for five years or less, fully 88% say that they met their partner offline–without the help of a dating site.

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