Do Face Coverings, Masks Help or Hinder Defendants in Jury Trials, Body Language of Elizabeth Holmes

Elizabeth Holmes' lawyers stated before trial that Holmes had a "strong preference" to go unmasked in the courtroom, but she did not challenge the judge's decisions regarding mask-wearing. Photo by Nick Otto/AFP via Getty Images.

Before her fall from grace, Elizabeth Holmes’ ability to court and charm establishment luminaries fueled her meteoric rise as head of Silicon Valley blood-testing company Theranos. In her ongoing criminal fraud trial, she might be hoping she can work the same magic on jurors.

But could wearing a mask weaken her defense and make her less likable in the eyes of the jury?

That question appeared top of mind for her defense team in the run-up to her federal criminal trial, which began in August in San Jose, California. Her lawyers told Judge Edward Davila that she had a “strong preference” to go unmasked. But with COVID-19 cases trending upward because of the delta variant, the judge said he would allow only testifying witnesses to go without masks. Attorneys do not have to wear them while examining witnesses.

Judges across the country are balancing public health with the right to a fair trial. In some cases, they have left it to defendants to decide if they want to wear a mask in front of jurors. And while Holmes’ case is a high-profile example, the subject of mask-wearing and whether it helps or hinders defendants is broader concern for both civil and criminal defense lawyers. They know that the nuances of facial expressions and body language are as much a part of courtroom dramas as explosive witness testimony or damning smoking-gun evidence.

Link to the rest of the article. https://www.abajournal.com/web/article/do-face-coverings-help-or-hinder-defendants

https://www.abajournal.com/web/article/do-face-coverings-help-or-hinder-defendants

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Will a Narcissist Come Back After "No Contact?" , Five Ways to Cut Narcissistic Supply and Insure No Contact.

I am a body language expert, I read the body language of suspects, criminals, celebrities, and politicians for the national media and speak and consult on Malignant Narcissism.

Will a Narcissist Come Back After using the technique of "No Contact?"

The simple answer is yes, they will come back till they get nothing.

 Malignant Narcissists are empty, lacking a positive emotional connection to themselves that can fill them, they instead feel they are in a dark abyss. They need to constantly be fed a narcissistic supply of other people’s emotions. To them, you are a possession, a source of supply that they can pick up and use anytime. Time for Malignant Narcissists is not linear, it's never too late to hurt you and get fed by your pain, it is never too late to reach for you to get the pleasure they once had. Because they still feel any pain that ever happened to them as if it is still happening. Think about how Trump still feels that Obama still got more people at his inauguration than Trump did and that humiliation still bothers Trump today as much as it did that day and he still feels the need to change it and seek revenge.

They feel they should be able to reach for you to get the pleasure they once had 

So if you use the technique of having  "no contact" they can feel just as angry at you years later as they did when it first happened, if you hurt them in the relationship they are still mad if you loved them and they liked that, they feel you should always give them that.  They may show this by continually calling to call you or driving by your house or trying to come back months or years later with flowers.

The Five Ways to Cut Narcissistic Supply to help Narsistic abusers stay away and not stay no contact.

1. You must make sure they no longer get any "supply" from you. That means no communication from you and blocking not accepting or responding in any way to communication from them. No contact has to be complete, no social media or any way for them to know about your life and feed off of it or see to insert themselves in it or destroy it.

 

2. You may need to reduce or cut contact with any mutual friends or business associates or family members who still see your abuser. Especially if they condone, or ignore the fact that they are an abuser and or if you feel or know they may share information about you, your routines, your other relationships, and or emotional state with your abuser. Your abuser gets supply from information about you especially any information about any trouble or difficulties in your life. Your vulnerability is supply. If you can trust those you know who are in contact with your abuser to never under any circumstances share any information about you you may be safe from direct abuse but knowing the fact that your abuser still has contact with them is a supply win for your abuser's ego. Ask for a promise from your circle not to share information and reveal information to them cautiously.

3. If people in contact with your abuser mention your abuser go "Grey Rock." So for example if they say, "I saw Richard (your abuser) the other day." say nothing, or give the mention of their name no energy or say something so dull or uninteresting so the person is unlikely to mention anything you say to your abuser. And the practice of going "Grey Rock." will eventually help you feel nothing about them as well. Your abuser will break down from rock to dust to nothing. 

If they are in contact with people you have in common you need to trust them not to talk about you to your MN abuser. For example, if something is going well or horribly in your life, your abuser may seek to know what’s going on in your life from a mutual friend and feed off your pain at a distance. MN loves to gossip. If you can’t trust your friends to not share anything about there is a strong chance your abuser will come back, or harm you. For example, if they find out you dating someone new, they may find a way to falsely smear you with that new boyfriend or girlfriend. If they know anyone in your work/profession the MN may try to bad you behind your back. 

My abuser threatened to destroy my professional reputation. I did nothing. I contacted no one. I trusted my behavior with others and professional reputation to speak for itself. He told me that he had destroyed past wives and girlfriends by labeling them as "Crazy." I knew his pathology would be revealed by any attempt to hurt me. He called and emailed people in his profession that he knew where my clients were and tried to convince them I was the abuser and stalking him.

 Blessedly, I had a sterling reputation and several of them contacted me and said it was obvious he was, "Crazy" and or obvious he was an abuser with dark intentions and that was what the people he contacted were saying to each other. A few said they already saw him as crazy and or odd and his calling them and or emailing him just confirmed their impression of him. 

If you can’t trust your friends or family to not talk about you and not respect you and your boundaries you may have to go "no contact" with him or her for at least a while must either not talk to your friends at all about your abuser or go contact with them otherwise you may need to go no contact with your friends or be very careful what you share with them about your life.

4. You have to hope are fed by lots of other people, so they don’t have to cycle back to you as a formally reliable supply source. This is heartbreaking and seems unethical because most of us want to warn others and protect them from abuse. So, if your ex has a new gal, or your abuser has a new job as much as you may fear for that new girlfriend's future, or those new coworkers or employees they provide your abuser with a source of "supply" may keep him from hurting you. If a coworker is now getting his or her anger, that coworker is "supply' and not you.

5. You have to hope they won’t keep playing with you at a distance with actions like smear campaigns, name-calling, and damaging your other relationships as that can continue to feed them so they continue to feel connected and in contact and or you need to not care or give any energy to these actions. Just let any feeling about their actions go. 

 

Consequences to the MN don’t typically work well, but Malignant Narcissist's greatest fear is public humiliation so if they look weak or stupid and their masks come down to others when they seek to recontact that can work. For example, if you go no contact but your abuser is still driving by your house you can continue to ignore it and make it clear to your friends that your abuser driving by your house to stalk to you makes you feel sorry for him, how small his life must be, and your friends agree that makes him look sad and small he may stop stalking.

If their last contacts before no contact gave them no supply if you went Grey Rock it can help. 

You need to make sure you go “grey” giving the abuser no emotion, no anger, not victim, not passive, not powerful and strong just boring, using a monotone voice and as little expression as possible no matter what they do to trigger you or those around you.

As you go “grey” before no contact if they call to talk about the boring aspects of your day, if they talk d Will a Narcissist Come Back After No Contact? don’t give any feedback. Be dull. If they get mad. Don’t be triggered just say you get it and say you need to go.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language and Other Nonverbal Tactics Used by Narcissists to Control People.

I just got a media request to discuss the traits and tactics used by narcissists to control people. The journalist was inspired by the following article to seek more information on tactics used to manipulate their targets.  I speak on body language and how to deal with difficult and toxic people. A

http://www.urbo.com/content/tactics-used-by-narcissists-to-silence-you

As a body language expert who speaks and writes on narcissism and other dark triad behaviors. I sent the media contact am a body language expert and I can speak the nonverbal behaviors a Narcissist, may use in one or more of the stages of their abusive relationship with the target. The stages are according to the research, Idolize, Devalue Discard.

They use their target as a source of narcissistic supply. That supply may be gained from the love and adoration of their target and or the pain and anguish of their target or the narcissistic rush from duping their target.  It’s important to clarify the need for supply as during the idealization phase many of their nonverbal behaviors seem like those of the ideal/dream lover.

1.      Hypnotic gaze/starring. They look at their target with focused intense gaze. They are reading their target’s every emotion to know how to act. Hypnotic gaze typically is done to test boundaries. They may do or say something uncomfortable right before or after the hypnotic gaze to test how the target responds. It may feel to the target like love or seduction. The target needs to check in to their feelings and body. If the gaze makes them feel off, or it seems too interest, too exciting or dangerous, they need to break away from it and or get up and move or leave the room and monitor their gazing partners response.

2.       Simple Gazing, We typically think of Narcissist needing attention, but in the Idolizing stage they gaze with adoration, and desire “at” their target. They gaze and gaze till the target gazes back at them. They create a feedback loop to get the constant gaze and attention they desire. It’s tricky for any target to see this as something manipulative, as you naturally want to gaze as someone you desire, like or love.  A “tell” that it could be manipulative is that it starts immediately, often on the first date. Another “tell” is that can go on for hours, till the target feels like they have gone on a long trip,  but actually through stages of exhilaration, to exhaustion. The target has to check in with their emotions and body to see if the gazing feels good or not. Once the narcissist has you in their gaze game they know they have you. Eye contact that intense can be highly addictive. That’s where the narcissists has the power over the target. Now they can break off the eye contact to punish their targets/victims.

3.       Invading space – Narcissists as a rule stand closer than other people. They use space invasion to gain attention, intimidate, show power, test boundaries, and to seduce.

4.       They are masters at matching and mirroring any targets body language in the Idolization phase. Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other. But this will be, like their other nonverbal behaviors, over the top. An example will be they reach for the glass the same moment the target reaches for theirs. The narcissists may even smile and or comment on how high highly matched they are. Again the narcissists creates a connection then stops doing that “wonderful” behavior in the devaluing stag. Once the matching and mirroring stops, it may feel to the target that their partner has changed personalities. It truth they have just stopped mimicking their target. What the target see is the true person unmasked.

5.       They break boundaries, so they may even on the first meeting they will touch a targets face or leg to test how they respond. On a first date they may touch their targets in an intimate way. They may mask the intimacy in sweetness or politeness, for example holding hands or putting their arm around the target after they have only been together a few hours, but acting as if they are already connected and inseparable and bound together.

6.       They may lift the target up in hug, throw them over their shoulder or carry the target. The “lifting you off your feet” may feel thrilling to the target but it can make also lift the target off their feet so they are not strongly grounded and “on their own two feet.” It is also something parents do with children. It may indicate a power play. In the seduction/idealization phase the narcissist works to make themselves more powerful and the target less powerful.

7.       Talking over the target and or not letting the target talk. Dominating the conversation. This “over talking” involves auditory space invasion and other para-language factors that show they are in power. They are often quite charming and good story tellers so it may be hypnotic to listen to them. The target needs to watch for a lack of inclusion. Note if they are in a conversation at all. They may just be listening to a monologue and that is not normal. A loving partner shares time even with an introverted partner. Other “tells” are the narcissist’s voice may get louder and stronger, even when there are only two people in the room. The target needs to note if there are abrupt changes in the emotions of the voices say from seductive, to angry if the target does not give their partner their full rapt attention.

8.       In the “Gas lighting” game they will tell the target they did or didn’t do something or something did or didn’t happen and then look at the target as if they are crazy. “You bought a new dress to go out Friday night?” “I didn’t say we would go out this Friday.” “I already have plans.” “You are messed up.” Then look at the target with pity.

This is brutal manipulation as previously they gazed with love and admiration at them for hours and hours.

9.       Sometimes what makes it hard to feel strong or fight back is shear amount of time that they spend talking. It can wear their “target/partner/victim down. It seems never ending. Narcissists are spinners of tales and once they get on a role about anything it can be impossible to stop them. Targets who may experience this can be punished further for trying to stop them.

In the devalue and or discard stage manipulative behaviors begin to increase.  Again, the three stages are idolize, devalue and discard.

10.   They also you the nonverbal method of the silent treatment. That could be in response their target asking them a question they don’t want to answer of making a request or to punish any behaviors they see as unacceptable. They can also enhance the silent treatment by disappearing for hours, days or weeks unexpectedly. That is particularly brutal tool to use after the trauma bond has been formed with their target.  

11.   In the devalue discard phases the narcissists may show their “Dead Eyes,” cold and malevolent and scary.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.