Gossip

I just finished writing a rough version of the chapter on gossip for my new book People Savvy. Here are a few notes:

There are some people that are fed by the rush that comes from making somebody else feel small, less than perfect. It makes the gossiper feel in control and superior. They will plant little seeds, subtle putdowns about their "target/victim."
The group begins to look for those behaviors in the victim as if it is a treasure hunt. "Did you see the way she ate her salad?" "Did you notice how loudly she laughed." "My god, that outfit she wore was awful." "Doesn't she know how she looks? Triangulation is an easy game.  You can always find fault in someone.

Research says gossips gain energy, bond and derive pleasure from their behind the back-attacking game. Wouldn't it be great if people gathered and praised those not present? What a wonderful world it would be. Wouldn't it be mature and loving if you had a problem with someone or felt they had an issue and you took them aside and gently spoke to them? No one would ever go home and look in the mirror and wonder why nobody told them they had spinach between their teeth.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Seeding, Lie Seeding, Gossip, Talking Behind Someone's Back, Tool of Narcissists, Priming, Character Assassination. Smear Campaign.

Lying as a Tool of A Narcissists.

I speak on body language and how to deal with difficult people including Narcissists.

Seeding, Lie Seeding, Gossip, Talking Behind Someone's Back, Tool of Narcissists, Priming
Character Assassination Smear Campaign.

Narcissists, Sociopath and Psychopaths are void of true emotions so they must be fed by other peoples emotions.That is their supply. They play many games to gain supply including putting other people down and talking behind their backs to make themselves feel in control and superior. They love to gossip!  They may even make themselves look like kind helping people by saying, "That poor Sarah have you noticed how she has gained/lost weight?" "I am worried about her she seems depressed" Thus, they get to look like they are a normal concerned person, while manipulatively putting down someone else. Slowing the group that is seeded with such comments begins to look for anything amiss is the target and the unknowing target may feel the judgement and it effects their behavior creating a negative cycle game, to the amusement and sustenance of the sick attacker.

Narcissists, Sociopath and Psychopaths  have a false self, a mask that they present to the world.
Typically that Mask is of a Fine Upstanding Citizen, Good Morals, Married, Successful with the trapping of Success, beautiful spouse and children, big house. (Google Narcissists, Mask, False Self
 for more details." If that false image is threatened in any way they sick individual will attack their unmasked. They will seed/ prime the group ahead of this possible unmasking.

"Lie Seeding… the process of planting a few lies to inspire doubt on what is the real truth… unsubstantiated with any real evidence to back the claims… spread for a purpose to make it seem that what is TRUTH is really lies.  To mess with your mind. 

Lie seeding… is the practice of planting lies (if you don’t understand a lie is unsubstantiated gossip with no proof you have bigger issues) by spreading rumors to your friends and those closest to you… to HURT you in some way.  It’s not new… it’s been going on since high school…  I pity those who practice this… I also will not be your victim.  If you want to do this… or believe in anything that is said by those who perpetrate it… stay away from me.  I have much better things to do with my time than put up with it.

If you’re the victim of “lie seeding”… just clear out your so-called friends account… and find people who will take you as you are… with all the faults… and still thing more highly of you than what people will say behind your back when spreading lies.  There will always be someone saying something about you without a shred of proof… it’s life.  What you can do… is take your power back and not stay in their world." 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.