As a body language expert, in my speaking and coaching, I realized that people often notice bad behaviors in others and are critical, but people don't always notice the good behaviors of others and show them their
gratitude for doing something good.
I use the Sunrise Manifesto Gratitude Journal in my coaching, It has a daily request to write about someone you are grateful for.
I tell my clients to write out their gratitude, using my Exact and Aware Gratitude Tool and, when appropriate, share their gratitude with the actual person. I find that very quickly my clients focus more on positive behaviors. They also share with me that it creates uplifting conversations and interactions very quickly.
Gratitude And Praise Tool
Exact With exact terms, state the person's behavior as it exists now. Answer the following questions in your statement. When did it happen? Where did it happen? Who was involved? How often has it happened? Be specific. Make it real and concrete. Don't use generalizations such as always, never, every time.
Example: Three times in the past three weeks, you've called me just to chat.
Example: In the last week, you've come through the door and immediately kissed me.
Example: I noticed as I stood in line how you made eye contact and smiled and chatted so warmly with the customers before me.
Aware Make the person aware of the emotion(s) the behavior arouses in you. How do you feel in
response to their behavior?
Example: When you call just to chat it makes me feel connected to you, and we end up talking about good things and bad things and laughing and that feels wonderful. Thank you. I am grateful for your friendship.
Example: I love being first! And when you kiss me I feel like you are happy to see me and you desire me. Thank you, I am grateful for our marriage.
Example: It made me so happy to see your warmth and kindness. Thank
you. I am grateful for your happiness.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
