This Is What Your Sleep Position Says About You

by Hallie Gould

Just like your dreams, your sleep position is often subconscious. As such, the way you’re most comfortable sleeping tells a lot about your personality. Do you love to spread out? Curl up? Do you sleep differently each night? It all has a hidden meaning. To uncover the explanations, I tapped body language expert Patti Wood and she described very different, very specific character traits for each. What’s more, your sleep position also corresponds with your DiSC, a personality assessment tool that centers on four different behavioral traits: dominance, influence, steadiness, and compliance. We chatted about those too.
Intrigued? Keep scrolling to find out what your sleep position really means.

1 / 9

If you fall asleep lying on your side, you’re in the company of 15% of sleepers, according to a 2003 study by Professor Chris Idzikowski. You’re not curled up or stiff limbed, but rather relaxed and stretched out.
Wood explains, “You are calm, peaceful and steady, not aggressive. Spaghetti Noodle sleepers are easygoing and do what is expected of them. You want to be liked and part of the group. Some research says those who sleep on their side with their right arm stretched over their head are said to be blessed with power and fortune.”
On the DiSC, your sleep style is known as the Get Along personality—you are warm, friendly, and like a relaxed pace. You’re loyal and supportive, and the most important thing in your life is your relationships. With others, you often avoid conflict and make personal sacrifices to do so. As such, you’re a good listener, but sometimes you can feel interrupted. You’re the person who always remembers someone’s birthday and offers a shoulder to cry on.

2 / 9

Idzikowski reports 51% of women like to climb into bed and get into the fetal position. You fall asleep best curled up on your side. Wood says, “The symbolism is that of a baby in the womb—so people that sleep in this position are innocent and often unaffected. If you like to hug a pillow, you need a lot of love and support, as you are sensitive and trusting. You tend to see things through rose-colored glasses, perhaps a bit idealistic but friendly and social. You may subconsciously long for what you had in the womb: security, warmth, and intimacy. But, if your position is tightly curled up, it may show a small degree of insecurity. If you’ve never slept like this before and have suddenly adopted the position, it’s probably because of stress or feelings of inadequacy.
On the DiSC, the fetal position also lends itself to the Get Along personality (see above). A good day for you is one where everyone gets along and you’ve helped others.

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About 13% of sleepers find themselves in this position—sleeping on one side with both arms out in front. Wood asserts: “You are said to have an open nature but can be cynical. You’re not quick to make up your mind, but once you have made a decision, you stick with it.”
You have the Get It Right personality style on the DiSC, which means you’re smart, careful, and accurate. You’re a deep thinker, and as such, you carefully consider things before you talk about them. People consider you a serious person, as you’re detailed, precise, and catch mistakes others often miss.

4 / 9

You like to lie face down when trying to fall asleep. Wood explains, "You are serious and stubborn. You hold strong beliefs and like to have everything done your way. You are super focused and love to get things done right. If you find yourself clenching your fists as you sleep, you may be grappling with aggression that you have yet to deal with.”
The Crab sleep position lends itself to the Get It Done personality style, which means your lifestyle is most likely fast-paced and you’re always on the go. You’re a great multitasker—you think there’s no reason to do just one thing when you can do four. You solve problems quickly, as you’re decisive and love to take charge and meet challenges.

5 / 9

You like to sleep with your hands on top of your head, or your arms crossed to support your head and neck. “You listen carefully so you can acquire wisdom, and you give really helpful advice,” says Wood. She adds, “The Crown sleeper is highly intelligent and enthusiastic, but you should make sure your ideas are helpful for others as well as yourself.”

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You tend to sleep on your back, face up with your legs open and your arms spread out wide. Wood suggests, “You’re optimistic and you love freedom and attention—you’re very comfortable being the star and taking over the room. This is the position of an extremely confident person: You’re open, self-assured, and ready to hug the world. Holding your body this way shows you have a great sense of well-being, but you’re not particularly keen on planning.”
Star sleepers also identify as Get Appreciated on the DiSC scale. You’re a leader, an influencer, and you want to be noticed and appreciated for your ideas. You’re spontaneous and you live life to the fullest. You don't like to waste your time or energy on boring details. You are boisterous, imaginative, and playful—so you’re amazing at telling stories. Your enthusiasm is contagious and you get the party going, no matter what.

7 / 9

You, like 43% of those in the U.S. and 8% of those in the U.K., love to sleep on your back with both arms at either side. Wood says, “This position shows you are secure and self-assured—you love to face forward and solve problems head on. You don’t like a fuss, but you set high standards for yourself and others.”
Like The Yearner (see above), your sleep position matches the Get It Right DiSC personality style. You like to read thought-provoking books and work by yourself. You take your time and play by the rules, and you wish others would do the same. You’re also a homebody, and favor relaxing in your own space over going out with other people.

8 / 9

If you sleep on your back with both arms around the pillow, you’re in the company of just 5% of the population. Wood explains, “You make a great friend because you’re always ready to listen to those who are important to you. You offer help when needed and generally don’t like to be the center of attention."

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People who tend to sleep with their limbs twisted and flung out all over the bed (perhaps we’ve all been there, right?) are experiencing stress. Wood says, “You are under constant pressure, or struggling to get through something. You can often feel like you’re falling short and the tension can wear you down.” If you’re consistently falling asleep and waking up this way, examine what in your life may be causing you trouble and re-evaluate how to fix it. It's also helpful to surround yourself with calming scents before bed. The ylang ylang, patchouli, and cypress essential oils in NYR Organics’s Beauty Sleep Spa Collection ($85) will help to calm and unwind.


Regis and Kelly video on sleep positions:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEv89JEDzPA

Other sleep position articles by Patti:
http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/Sleep%20position
http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/Sleep%20and%20Body%20Language
http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com/search/label/sleep%20habits%20of%20men

Actual article link:
http://www.byrdie.com/best-way-to-sleep

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Are You Two Compatible When You Sleep?

In an article for the "Sun Journal," Patti reveals some interesting insights about a couple's sleep position and what can be learned about their relationship. Check the link below to discover your sleep position and what it says about your relationship. Are you compatible?



http://www.sunjournal.com/node/79699



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body language is a powerful thing. Apparently it's so powerful that how you sleep with your significant other in bed says a lot about your relationship. The Nest interviewed two professionals -- author Evany Thomas (The Secret Language of Sleep), and Patti Wood, a body language expert -- about your sleep style decoded.

Four major positions and what they mean:

1. The Football: Both on your sides facing each other with one foot touching.

Just like touching a foot is enough contact for football players, you and your honey don't need to be around each other all the time to connect. You make the most of the time you do have together.

2. Classic Spoon: Full front-to-back contact, with one person tucked into the other.

You are a traditional couple -- the protective one on the outside and the sensitive one on the inside.

3. Tetherball: One of you on your back with a single hand on the other person.

You're both strong-minded and willful people who find ways to compromise. A heated discussion can lead to romance.

4. Cliff-Hangers: Sleeping on opposite sides of the bed with your backs to each other.

You prove that opposites attract. He likes sports and you like the opera, but you find ways to meet in the middle. Though there may be a rift in your relationship, practicality trumps all.

The best sleeping partner combos:

•The Spaghetti Noodle: You sleep on your side with your arms out and are mellow + The Soldier: You’re so go-with-the-flow, you need a little structure!
•The Crab: You lie face down, like you’re making out with your pillow, and tend to be stubborn + The Spaghetti Noodle: You need someone loose who'll bend around you.
•The Soldier: You sleep on your back with your arms at your sides + The Womb: A womb sleeper’s softness will soothe your rigid side.
•The Womb: You curl up and are as thoughtful as you are cozy + The Crab: You sleep in a tiny ball, and a Crab isn’t into snuggling.


Do you think these are accurate? What's your sleeping style?

Find Out More!

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel

Controversial CoSleeping as Seen in the Movie "Away We Go."

I just got a request from a journalist who wanted to interview me about Cosleeping, that is sleeping with the child or children in the parents' bed. Obviously this is a controversial topic. In fact, there was a very funny scene in the new independent film "Away We Go". The scene made CoSleeping seem like a crazy sixties hippie-like thing to do. When I discuss couples' sleep positions (Just type in couples sleep positions in my search to find those insights) I point out the importance of the couples connecting with each other during sleep. The research on Cosleeping--also called family bed sleeping--shows quite a long list of benefits for the child. Babies who Cosleep have less stress and more self confidence and parents create a deeper bond and sense of understanding with their children.(See below for more benefits as well as warnings.) I have spent years researching touch and body language. There are so many things healthy touch can do. It is an amazing thing. For all the health and psychological benefits of touch you can read the chapter in my body language book or check out my website. I have friends and relatives who practiced Cosleeping with their children and they are now the most confident, happy kids I have ever seen. There is research on how wonderful it is for the baby to Cosleep, but there are dangers for babies as well. I like the idea of the family cuddling together in a big family bed, and then, for safety, moving small babies to a separate bed to sleep. Of course no matter the choice the parents make they have to make sure they get a good nights sleep! Personally, when I was a baby and growing up my family slept in their own beds, but on Sunday mornings my sisters and I would all run in and jump on our parents' bed. We would cuddle as we talked, laughed and read the funnies. It made me feel connected to my family and also let me see my parents as a couple side by side. All very wonderful and healthy ways to spend time as a family.

Below is information on Co-Sleeping provided by Wikipedia.

Stress hormones are lower in mothers and babies who co-sleep, specifically the balance of the stress hormone cortisol, the control of which is essential for a baby's healthy growth.[11][12][13][14]

In studies with animals, infants who stayed close to their mothers had higher levels of growth hormones and enzymes necessary for brain and heart growth.[15][16]

The physiology of co-sleeping babies is more stable, including more stable temperatures, more regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing than babies who sleep alone.[17][18]

Co-sleeping may promote long-term emotional health. In long-term follow-up studies of infants who slept with their parents and those who slept alone, the children who co-slept were happier, less anxious, had higher self-esteem, were less likely to be afraid of sleep, had fewer behavioral problems, tended to be more comfortable with intimacy, and were generally more independent as adults.[19][20][21][22] However, a recent study (see below under dangers) found different results if co-sleeping was initiated only after nighttime awakenings.

Co-sleeping is known to be dangerous for any child when a parent smokes, but there are other risk factors as well.[5] Some common advice given is to keep a baby on its back, not its stomach, that a child should never sleep with a parent who smokes, is taking drugs (including alcohol) that impede alertness, or is obese.[23] It is also recommended that the bed should be firm, and should not be a water bed or couch; and that heavy quilts, comforters, and pillows should not be used. Young children should never sleep next to babies under nine months of age.[24] It is often recommended that a baby should never be left unattended in an adult bed even if the bed surface itself is no more dangerous than a crib surface.

Couples Sleep Positions, What Do They Mean, Body Language

I will be on,"Live with Regis and Kelly" talking about what couples sleep positions say about their relationship. They saw a piece I was quoted on in Nest Magazine. The body language cues of couples sleep positions are fun to read. I have articles here and on my website about the body language of sleep positions.
What does your couple sleep position say about your relationship?
The Body Language Patti Wood reveals what she will share on Live with Regis and Kelly on Wednesday July 9, 2009

How do sleep positions offer a view into what is going on in the relationship? The majority of body language comes from the more primitive part of the brain called the limbic brain rather than the more rational “Let me think how I want to look” cognitive brain. So body language reveals our true feelings. In sleep, we are our most honest, vulnerable selves and our sleep positions may therefore reveal secrets we do not show with our mates during the daytime. Heck, you might even prefer your sweetie when he/she is alseep!

I love understanding sleep positions, because we are at our most vulnerable in sleep and our bodies are the most honest. Women, you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. That means how your body moves and joins with your partner in sleep can offer insights into your trust and connection for each other.

When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring and menopause. Thease issues, unrealted to your relationships may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they might make you want to hit him with a pillow and leave the room! It’s also important to realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions. You don’t have to say, "Hey Honey, I watched Patti on Regis and Kelly today, let’s work on an A Plus tonight.” Unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep, there is no panel of judeges deciding wietehr you good enought to make it to next week's show. But tonight just to be sure, check for cameras.

About half of men and women sleep in the fetal position. The fetal position is sleeping on your side with head and shoulders curled in and knees pulled up. This position shows your innocence and trust. Symbolically curled positions in sleep mean, “I want to trust others and feel safe.” Bodies stretched out in sleep mean “I want to take charge and experience adventure.” Hands touching mean I want to connect; even hands wrapped around a pillow can indicate a cuddly nature. If hands and/or hands and arms are held or pressed tightly straight down at the sides in the soldier postion mean, "not tonight, honey".

In the Traditional Spoons Position, couples sleep side-by-side each curled up with each other in the fetal position. One partner is fully cupped around the back of the body of the other. Everything touches. Well, maybe not everything, but a lot of the front of one partner and lot of the back of the other. (Smile) Traditional spooning is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship or marriage. If the spooning is comfortable, is received with no tension in the limbs and seems balanced, it shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, “I can turn my back on you and know I am safe—you have my back.” The other is saying, “I want to surround you and take you in.” This Spoon position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. So everybody try spooning tonight!

In spooning, if the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If he is curled around the T.V. remote, it means something totally different. If the woman is around the man with the man facing the edge of the bed it can mean she depends on him. That’s not a bad thing, but if he tries to get out of the bed and you’re still holding on as he crosses the room perhaps you’re a little too dependent. (Smile)

Loose Spoons occur when there is a little gap between the bodies. Loose spoons tend to come later in the relationship after a few years—typically 5 to 6. If the couple is still close they may touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected. (Note my comments on what feet touching means below)

The Royal Hug- In this position one partner, typically the man, is lying on his back facing up. The woman head is cradled in the man chest or shoulder. Symbolically the person on his back in sleep is facing life. A face up position indicates confidence and self-assurance. If the man’s arms are wrapped around the woman, it shows a wonderful protectiveness. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or his elbows are out to the side like a royal cape, he is showing his confidence and that he wants to be in charge, the king of the castle. He is enthusiastic and perhaps likes to tell his partner what to do. (The on-the-back cape and crown position is an expansive position and these people are often workaholics and entrepreneurs.

If the woman is facing her partner in a fetal position she is showing she depends on him and lets him be in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. (I know you are thinking of several celebrity couples right now.) If she rests her head on his chest but stretches out her body she is showing that she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well.

If you (as a woman) sleep on your back with your partner, you’re showing your power and strength in the relationship.


V hug occurs when couples are on their sides, faced away from each other so only their rear ends touch. The facing away shows trust and the ability and desire to be independent but the Tushy Touch shows that they want to stay sexually connected. They are already a confident couple, they just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately but don’t want to hang on or have someone hang on them.

The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to face each other, seemingly gaze into each others’ eyes, even in sleep. Honeymoon huggers face each other and touch all or some of the front of their bodies. That means they may touch each other with their feet, their legs, their knees, torso and chests. One partner may even cradle the other partner’s face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first begin to make love. In addition, is also seen frequently in couples who are not married. Single guys, this doesn’t mean you can say, “Hey Hon, we can’t get married or we will stop Honeymoon hugging.” Here is a gentle warning for you: If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and suddenly they start facing you, it may indicate their desire to connect, and be more intimate or comforted.

The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position may be assumed after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, it’s a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but since they’re angry they don’t go to the old position. Instead they signal “I will still love each you in the morning” by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control; they are the body part farthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says, “I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.”

Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious or feel things are out of control and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So notice if you or your partner suddenly starts sleeping on the stomach. Be aware that a partner who suddenly starts to turn away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can also be communicating a lack of sexual trust in their partner.

The research on solitary sleep positions shows that someone who always sleeps on his stomach but with his arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown position is showing he is persistent, goal oriented, compulsive and stubborn.

The Cliffhanger positions it when both partners are on opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person is climbing mountains all day and just needs a good night’s sleep or because something like snoring or menopausal night sweats make being close feel like you are in an inferno. Know that Cliff hanging shows independence. It says, “I want adventure.” If your partner suddenly goes from close sleep to a cliffhanger, you might want to talk about it. If your position changes from a hug-like sleep to the cliff hanger it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate, or a desire to buy a king size bed. (Smile)


Pretzel -There are couples that are so interconnected with one another that in sleep they wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms that seem almost melded into one entity. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept like a pretzel. They married a week after they graduated from college and have been together 40 years, so pretzels can work wonders.

Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separates and there is not a physical reason, you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind. Or you might want to bring it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been doing that. What can we do to feel closer?” I recommend cuddling or holding hands before you go to sleep. Hands are what we use to give and take in life. Holding hands shows deep caring. I have friends that as couples go to bed and hold hands and then they say, “sleep now” and roll away to get to a good night’s sleep

Unless there is a health issue, sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. Your sleep position can say, "I cannot depend on you", "I don’t trust you", "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you" or "I don't feel that close to you."


Separate Rooms-What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side-by-side with someone. When men sit face-to-face across a table they can be defensive or closed but get them lying side-by-side with you and men open up, and if you’re lucky, pearls come out. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table. They want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language. Men want the front of their bodies—the part that I call the heart window—protected so they can feel safe to share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about when women drive and turn to speak to their passengers. Men who are driving always look forward. Remember, men open up when you are side-by-side with them, so to get a man to share go on a long car trip , or if you are married to him, go to bed. I love all the movie scenes when couples have these incredible intimate self-disclosures as couples when they get into bed. They may be with each other all day and suddenly the truth comes out as soon as heads hit the pillow.

Research indicates longevity of the marriage is enhanced when couples fall asleep and wake up at the same time. The studies also show that couples who go to sleep together and get up at the same time are content in their relationship, while thirty percent of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union.

There are so many things you can learn reading body language. Every life and every relationship has ups and downs. Now that you know what your sleep positions as a couple mean, you can gain insight and communicate more effectively through those ups and downs. So when you go to bed tonight, sweet dreams!