Here are my rough notes from a
media interview on Signs of a toxic workplace
Confusion, miscommunication,
silence stressed and defeated body language, people talking behind others
backs, rumors, cliques and us against them mentality.
Toxicity creates Confusion, not knowing what truth or
fiction is, real or imagined can destabilize you a make employees more
susceptible to future deceit and abuse. Toxic cultures/leaders love to
confuse you with mixed messages. It destabilizes you and makes you a great
target for their abuse. People don’t know who or what to believe
they are in a state of cognitive dissonance.
For example, an abuser showers someone with compliments
at work, gives them great projects and or jobs with perks and alternates that
with yelling and criticism, threats of firing, or other behaviors such as
cutting them out of email or project. Then returns with good behaviors such as statements
like, “But you’re a great guy and I
would never fire you.”
The culture itself may alternate bad with the good. They may heap
them with praise and special attention that makes them feel special or create a
culture of high rewards, money, great perks, prestige, health insurance then
switch with no rhyme or reason to coldness, abuse, overworking and unreasonable
expectations and or attacks or threat to withdraw job perks or job altogether
later.
That mixture is dangerous. The employee doesn’t know what is
real or true. I know people that worked for and or with Harvey Weinstein
for example who is highly charismatic and he was known in this work culture to
give his full charismatic focus and attention that made people feel special,
praise give perks and promise amazing success to his employees and his business
associates but yell and scream and abuse and threated to fire a get rid of
people.
This is dangerous in the workplace because the employee may
let the abuse escalate hoping for the “goodies” and to feel good and safe and
be stressed out by the abuse and therefore weakened to disagree defend or stop
the abuse. And they may spend an inordinate amount of time trying to please and
or keep the toxic person for getting upset or to try to keep the toxic business
rolling along, without rocking the boat just to keep their jobs. It is just
like an abused wife staying with her abuser. They are hanging on, but not
functioning in a healthy way that is good for them or others.
There are also “Sunk Cost” factors and what they have
already invested and cannot be recovered in their job creates an aversion to losing
more by changing the toxic environment in any way. They may do the least work
with the least effort, but they will stay. So again, you have fearful
unmotivated employees.
If a business culture is toxic people don’t feel safe, to
tell the truth, there is too much risk. They can’t say what is wrong and often
because of the stress they don’t have the energy or confidence to do so.
In group narcissism,
we see an unquestioning loyalty and admiration for the group and an intense
fervor in the persecution of any person who questions the authority of the
overarching ideals of the group. It's us against everyone else who we view as
other and less than. Cliques form, creating outsiders who feel left out and
abandoned and powerless.
The
group will do anything to ignore any bad behavior of their fellow narcissists,
give him a pass and then another pass, normalize unhealthy behaviors bullying,
abusive and dangerous behavior. They will defend one of their own kind, for
fear of losing the group. They will even attack any innocent person or persons
who threaten the group status quo. The group is their breath, their life, their
sustenance, their "supply." In the presence of other narcissists, who
reflect back “like” behaviors they don't see their dark selves. In the group,
they are whole and belong. They may see damage in others, yet it only serves to
make them feel superior. And in fact, their very acceptance of the dark damage
in their fellow tribe members may make them think they are good people! They
don’t consider the fact that in a healthy group dark damage behavior is called
out as unacceptable.
Fromm explains, “[an] individual narcissist, who is out on his own, comparing himself to normal people may see he lacks a moral core unless he is mentally very sick, he may have at least some doubts about his image. But, if he joins a group that has other narcissists, he has none, since his narcissism is shared by the majority” (ibid., p.204). They feed each other giving each other narcissistic supply
Fromm explains, “[an] individual narcissist, who is out on his own, comparing himself to normal people may see he lacks a moral core unless he is mentally very sick, he may have at least some doubts about his image. But, if he joins a group that has other narcissists, he has none, since his narcissism is shared by the majority” (ibid., p.204). They feed each other giving each other narcissistic supply
For your information
Definition of Essentially, cognitive dissonance occurs
when humans experience a state of holding two or more contradictory thoughts or
beliefs in their cognition at one time. The result is a state of anxious
confusion and a desire to reduce the resultant overwhelm and unbalanced
perception.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
