Why do people see abuse and character assassination and let it happen.
I wrote this awhile ago and I am just posting it. In this article Clooney says Weinstein, "... bragged about
bedding stars. Clooney says that at the time,
“..I didn't believe Weinstein because to do so would believe the worst
of ...actresses who were friends of mine." Read that again. Clooney was friends
with and worked closely with a Harvey who was telling horrible lies about women
who were friends of his, and Clooney did-- exactly NOTHING about it. He didn't
stop Harvey from telling him the stories, he didn't call Harvey on it and say,
"Hey I don't believe you!" He didn't say, I know these women, and I
respect them and know they wouldn't be having affairs so I suggest you never
say they are to anyone every again." Nor did he do something else that requires
integrity, Clooney didn’t tell his women friends about Harvey’s lies so those
women could choose how they wanted to protect themselves against Harvey’s character
assignation of them. Because there is no doubt that having a huge producer brag
to people that he bedded you doesn’t make it safe for you to NOT do so with the
next powerful man in your career. Those women need Clooney to be a true friend to
them.
People if someone is spreading lies about someone you care for
be a stand up person. Iif someone is defaming anyone’s character with lies and deceit
stand up!!!! It is oh so easy to not want to risk having a socially awkward
conversation and call them on it, or lose membership in the group. But any
group that contains and lying monster needs to rethink their membership! Its
clear women where abused, its clear women and in some cases men where xd out of
Harvey’s “Group” and possibly their careers. But any group member who doesn’t
defend a victim is an enabler of the attacker. Here is why group members don’t
speak out from another post I wrote.
Ever, wonder why no one spoke up
about Weinstein during his years of abuse? For many years I spoke on sexual
harassment and the group’s response to it. (In fact, the group’s response to
abuse, affairs and romantic relationships was my first research paper in my
doctoral program) People around the abuser may know about the abuse to the
victim or victims and let it continue.
Think about the people around Bill Cosby. There are many reasons they may need to believe the abuser is innocent, as believing the truth. That the abuser has abused and is in fact evil creates too much cognitive dissonance. They would have to admit they know and are working with someone evil. Many prefer to keep the mask on the monster and continue their lives as they are.
They may not feel comfortable “tattling” or really mislabel calling an abuser and abuser wish is not tattling but defending a victim.
Or they may find it just easier to look the other way. They may say its not my business after all it doesn’t affect me directly as, they aren’t being attacked. They may think, “I need to be Switzerland and not get involved.” This is an easy choice, but not a very noble one. It required no bravery not action Actually even choosing to say you are like Switzerland is admitting that their is a problem and your are avoiding it. And oddly Switzerland was NOT nutral that was their protective mask, while they took money and art and stolen possessions from the Nazis while looking the other way as thousands of people were sent to concentration camps.
You may blame the victim(s) saying hey they should have not allowed themselves to be abused!! Again not a noble or empathetic choice and or as in this story, they are being fed goodies by the abuser. Sexual Predators like to spread the goodies out to their "Apaths"or "Enablers" In fact, they may spend years giving out goodies, so when if their mask falls, their minions look the other way and allow them to pick it up and put it right back on. so the goodies can keep on coming and the boat isn’t rock and their life can supposedly keep on going as it is. Though in this case, the enablers are exposed as well., and they have to back pedal and defend their own character.
Think about the people around Bill Cosby. There are many reasons they may need to believe the abuser is innocent, as believing the truth. That the abuser has abused and is in fact evil creates too much cognitive dissonance. They would have to admit they know and are working with someone evil. Many prefer to keep the mask on the monster and continue their lives as they are.
They may not feel comfortable “tattling” or really mislabel calling an abuser and abuser wish is not tattling but defending a victim.
Or they may find it just easier to look the other way. They may say its not my business after all it doesn’t affect me directly as, they aren’t being attacked. They may think, “I need to be Switzerland and not get involved.” This is an easy choice, but not a very noble one. It required no bravery not action Actually even choosing to say you are like Switzerland is admitting that their is a problem and your are avoiding it. And oddly Switzerland was NOT nutral that was their protective mask, while they took money and art and stolen possessions from the Nazis while looking the other way as thousands of people were sent to concentration camps.
You may blame the victim(s) saying hey they should have not allowed themselves to be abused!! Again not a noble or empathetic choice and or as in this story, they are being fed goodies by the abuser. Sexual Predators like to spread the goodies out to their "Apaths"or "Enablers" In fact, they may spend years giving out goodies, so when if their mask falls, their minions look the other way and allow them to pick it up and put it right back on. so the goodies can keep on coming and the boat isn’t rock and their life can supposedly keep on going as it is. Though in this case, the enablers are exposed as well., and they have to back pedal and defend their own character.
Here is a good story on this.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5008429/Matt-Damon-KNEW-Harvey-Weinsten-harassed-Gwyneth-Paltrow.html
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
