What types of people narcissists tend to seek out in romantic relationships

I speak on how to deal with difficult people. 

1. What types of people narcissists tend to seek out in romantic relationships (people-pleasers, etc.)

Narcissists choose people pleasers, and good listeners. They want someone who is empathetic, in fact, “Hyper Empathy is preferred” and kind. They want someone who is “High bonding”, “High Sentimentality.” They want someone who gives readily, gives of his or her emotions, who is low in “Harm Avoidance” and high in “cooperation.”

2. Signs that you are dating a narcissist (i.e. what kind of qualities do narcissists generally have?)

Charm, Charisma, Intense mesmerizing eye contact, high touch behavior that starts very quickly, such as holding hands on the first date, or hugging spontaneously right away, or touching to push back their dates hair or take a thread off a jacket on the first date.  Close talker and or just plain standing or sitting closer than normal, a space invader. May talk slightly louder or very loudly and may gesture in an over the top manner and may interrupt in a charming enthusiastic way. May have a loud or unusual laugh, and may use the laugh to interrupt you, though it may sound like they are indeed laughing at something you said, if you listen closely it interrupts your “turn” to speak. And if you listen even more closely you will notice they interrupt when you take away too much attention from them. High self-discloser on a first date. They will sweep you off your feet and charm you. Love bombing you so that you feel like you are on an emotional high, they will put you up on a pedestal complimenting you in an over the top manner and perhaps showering with small gifts. “Love bombing” is a phrase describing this stage, in which the narcissistic person may smother you with praise, courting, intense sex, vacations, promises of a future together, and designation, essentially, as the most special person ever.

3. Tips to help readers avoid dating narcissists.

Notice the first date. Do you feel overwhelmed swept up? Highly emotionally charged. Does the conversation seem very intimate? Are you sharing stories of your bad relationships? Do they claim they were a victim in their last relationship and tell you the horrible details? Do they complement you more than once? Do they say you are different or special on the FIRST date? Do they lean in close or touch you on FIRST date? If they describe their ex as crazy, bi polar, a drug addict, and or anorexic or a bitch run, because they are not just a narcissist they are a sociopath. RUN! 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Bill O'Reilly - Narcissists Abuse And Often Claim Victim Hood And Attack Their Victim's Character

Narcissist Abuse, then Claims Victim- Hood and Attacks Their Victims Character. The Bill O'Reilly Factor 

O'Reilly settled in several sexual harassment charges against him so he obviously knew people perceived his behavior as harassment. And yet he speaks of a conspiracy against him, his career, and his children. What has happened to him is not due to a conspiracy it's a consequence of his predatory behavior. I find it particularly despicable for him to accuse people of hurting his children. He chose his behavior and he repeated his behavior again and again. He is the one who needs to be responsible for what is happening to him and his children now.

Research shows that "Malignant Narcissists" don't take responsibility. They always feel they are the "victim" and what is happening is always somebody else's fault.  O'Reilly says, "The New York Times Hates Me!."  Seriously!  He sees no relationship between his 32 Million dollars in settlement cases for harassment and having a publication investigate whether you harassed someone.  He sees no relationship between his abusive behavior and consequences. Perhaps he seems blindsided because until now they were kept secret, because up until now he got away with it. 

In fact, when others see an opportunity for a man or woman who have made an error to stand up and say, "I messed up and I am so sorry." Malignant Narcissists and Psychopaths have a pattern of claiming victim-hood and may even attack and assassinate the character of their very victims. Note how O'Reilly attacks Kelly and lies saying he did not know of any complaint by her when in even a toxic HR environment he would have, by law, been required to know about the complaint. 

UPDATED with Eric Bolling response, Bill O’Reilly apology: Former Fox News host Eric Bolling has issued a statement telling Bill O’Reilly to knock off his “beyond inappropriate” talk about his son. In a statement, sent first to New York Times, Bolling said:
Bill O’Reilly responded with apology:
Previous: Very busy morning for Bill O’Reilly. Appearing on The Glenn BeckProgram, he dismissed as “incomprehensible” the morning’s headline-grabbing monologue delivered by former Fox News Channel colleague Megyn Kelly.
“She did not file a complaint. Not that I know of,” he said.
“I never had any problem with Megyn Kelly,” O’Reilly told Beck. “I don’t know why Megyn Kelly is doing what she’s doing. I don’t know why…It is incomprehensible.”
O’Reilly also could be heard today in a New York Times podcast of an interview conducted last Wednesday with authors of the blockbuster weekend report that O’Reilly had settled a sexual harassment lawsuit that had been threatened against him by Lis Wiehl, for $32M shortly before his contract was extended last spring by Fox News parent company.
In that interview, O’Reilly seems to suggest the NYT bore responsibility for the death of former colleague Eric Bolling’s son, who died shortly after Fox News parted ways with Bolling amid allegations of sexual harassment reported on by the newspaper.
“I urge you to think about what you put in your newspaper,” O’Reilly said in the podcast. “Eric Bolling’s son is dead. He’s dead because of allegations made — in my opinion and I know this to be true — against Mr. Bolling.”
In that interview, O’Reilly told Emily Steel and Michael Schmidt, “We have physical proof that this is bullshit. Bullshit. Okay? So it’s on you if you want to destroy my children further. Alright, cause it’s all crap. Why don’t you be human beings for once. This is horrible.
“It’s horrible what I went through. Horrible what my family went through. This is crap. And you know it. It’s politically and financially motivated. And we can prove it with shocking information.”
On Saturday O’Reilly rep Mark Fabiani said NYT report was “obviously designed to embarrass Bill O’Reilly and to keep him from competing in the marketplace.”
O’Reilly repeated that refrain Monday morning on Glenn Beck’s program, asserting NYT “wants to take me out of the markeplace,” and that he’s muzzled because he “can’t speak on any case that has been resolved.”
When Beck marveled at the reported $32M settlement price tag reported in NYT, O’Reilly shot back, “Right. What do you want me to say,” again noting he cannot talk, per terms of the settlement.
He similarly responded to other of Beck’s questions, adding, “I know it’s frustrating. It’s very frustrating for me. Imagine me sitting here, being accused of everything under the sun.
O’Reilly insisted NYT‘s “endgame is, ‘Let’s link O’Reilly with Harvey Weinstein. Let’s make him that’.”
Speaking of himself in the third person, O’Reilly charged the newspaper with working to “take him out of the marketplace forever…he never gets to give his opinion on issues again. We take him out because we hate him’.”
“The New York Times obviously hates me,” O’Reilly said. “It’s dishonest in the extreme and frustrating for me. But unless I want another seven or eight years of litigation that puts my children in the kill zone, I have to maintain

If you truly want to understand how smart warm wonderful women are targets of Psychopaths read the research of Sandra Brown:

“The seminal aspect of the research was in detecting these women's unique and astounding elevated 'super traits' of temperament, personality strengths and weaknesses. These proved to be an amazingly compatible match for the strengths and weaknesses of a psychopath and brought a natural 'balance' to the honeymoon aspects of the relationship.”

“While the uncovering of her innate traits and conditioned behaviors explained much about this dangerous relationship and has brought huge intellectual and emotional relief to the victims, it does not seem to have gone very far in modifying the public misperceptions about psychopaths or their victims. On a recent radio show, after describing the huge elevation of some of the victim's temperament traits and explaining how it could affect her patterns of selection and even tolerance in these relationships, the host said, "That's a crock of crap! You're telling me that a few temperament traits can do that? I don't believe it. She picked him, she stayed, she needs to own it and she was probably abused as a child." These simplistic answers are what have been, and continue to be, at the core of the abysmal lack of public psychopathology education.”

“As mentioned, my research has revealed that women who love psychopaths (and other Cluster B personality disordered individuals) possess rather unique and extraordinary 'super traits' of temperament that make them the perfect target/victim of the psychopath. While the following does not cover all of her traits, these were the ones most highly elevated and were thus likely contributing factors:
Here is the research by Sandra Brown on what psychopaths look for in a romantic partner:
§  Extraversion and excitement seeking (Psychopaths are also extraverts and excitement seekers.)  In other words, these women started out being the least dependent types on the planet!
§  Deep Investment in all relationships (The victim gives great emotional, spiritual, physical, financial investments in any of her relationships, not just the intimate ones.)
§  Sentimentality
§  Attachment – Deep bonding capacity (She has a deep bonding capacity.)
§  Competitiveness – stand ground – not codependent (She is not likely to be run out of relationships – she will stand her ground.  Again, not the co-dependent type at all.)
§  Low Harm Avoidance – does not expect to be hurt (She doesn’t expect to be hurt, sees others through who she is.  In other words, not a person looking to recreate an abusive relationship of childhood.  In fact, more often than not, these women were never exposed to abuse of any kind as children.)
§  Cooperation
§  Higher Empathy – can be genetic
§  Responsibilty and Resourcefulness
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.