One of the first things to consider is how crowding on a
plane increases and escalates bad behavior and being in an intimate zone of space
from your seat makes ( less than 14 inches apart) a space we typically reserve
for intimate conversation and battle. (Yes, strange but true) So if there is conflict Isopraxism makes it more likely to catch you up in a negative emotional state
and, sharing the intimate zone of space with someone who now may be foe makes
you very uncomfortable and your central nervous system may go into FREEZE FLIGHT
FIGHT FALL/FAINT or Friend RESPONSE very quickly. So, take a deep breath. Check-in with your body to see what’s happening so you can self-comfort calm before you
act.
What if the person next to you is drunk? The basic rule is you can not
reason with someone drunk. They, only with dangerously angry people are the
exception to the rule that healthy non-threatening communication can deescalate
a conflict and produce positive results. I teach threat and risk assessment as
well as conflict management and I suggest to my clients, (I consult with Fortune
500 clients as well as public-facing small business owners such as amusement
park owners and restaurant owners.) That passenger should request to change
seats. Ideally getting up from their seats to speak to the flight attendant
rather than in front of the drunk seatmate.)
What if the person is argumentative or combative? First, assess your risk and the likelihood the person is willing and able to listen and create a positive outcome. Watch their body language and listen to their voice. Are they in the stress response? Are you afraid? If you are at risk as a passenger, leave your seat and request assistance or a different seat. If they seem like will and are able to listen, you can make a calm reasonable non-threatening request. I highly recommend you show the palms of your hands, in an upward direction at your waist level. Keep your voice level and calm, make eye contact but don't glare or stare. If you are making a soft request you can briefly tilt your head. If you want to make a strong request keep your head level.
Here are aggressive/about-to-strike behaviors to look for that indicate immediate threat and risk. Danger Signals that Someone Is About to Attack.
1. Jaw thrust also known as the chin jut or jaw clenching. The person grits their teeth and juts their jaw forward indicating they want you to back down or they will take you down.
2. Nostril Flaring or Wing Dilation- the outer lobes flare out so you get more oxygen and you have the energy to fight.
3. Pressed Tight Lips or Even Hidden Lips
4. Chest Puff - Attempt to get Bigger to look threatening and Imposing.
5. Pupil Dilation - So they can see what's going on.
6. Lowered Brow often with a forward head tilt - to show dominance, a bid to power. Saying back down and doing what I want or else.
7. Teeth licking- Licking the teeth preparing the teeth to bite.
8. Blading -Moving your body so only the side shows.- an action to put the shoulder and arm in a position to fight and protect most of your vital organs.
9. Tightened Muscles - This is a way of creating a muscular shield to protect your vital organs and increase blood flow to the limbs to prepare them for fighting.
10. Clenched Fist -It may include tightening the hand into a fist and or tightening and flexing the hands.
11. Foot Stomping. Often seen in children. You may have seen movies where horses, toss back and raise their heads, thrust out their chins then stomp.
12. Eye Narrowing. Eye muscles tighten- The ocular orbital muscles around the eye tighten.
13. One leg up/ arm out and over leg or arm on your chair. Claiming ownership. Alpha signaling.
14. Rattling/Shaking/Growling. You see it as a stress response in dogs and in humans it's also a stress response and can indicate they are stressed and ready to fight or in fight mode, it can be accompanied by other fight behaviors like touching or shoving.
First, establish commonality, “I know you want to have a comfortable and enjoyable flight and I do too.” State their specific behavior from their perspective and show empathy, “I can see that you are very unhappy.” Then state the issue, “Your raised voice and upset demeanor are making me uncomfortable.” “So that we can both have better flight could you bring down your voice and calmly deal with your issues?” Thank them if they do so.
What if they invade your personal space? You can calmly say to yourself, it's
just a short flight, stay calm and let them invade your space. You calmly
reclaim your space, not showing any irritation or anger, just reclaim it or use
the method above to ask them to give you your space back.
What if they threaten you or anyone
else on an aircraft? Again, access your
risk. If you can calmly establish commonality, show you understand their
intense emotional state, (Ie I can see that you are unhappy, I can see that you're
very upset.) and request a change in their behavior great. If not request assistance.
If you feel in danger and can safely leave your seat, do so. If it's dangerous
to leave your seat. Ring for assistance and calm your body down and think of
options. If there are people near you that you can request calm assistance signal them that you may need them. See if you can request assistance from the
flight crew over the internet. You may be able to reach out to the company through
its website.
