Your Life Has an Impact and Listening for the Pain

I love my neighborhood. We have a neighborhood Facebook page and for a long time one of our neighbors, Lisa, was the monitor and really the "mom" of our page. Responding to questions like, “I need an honest plumber.” “Hey, does anybody know who owns the white corvette that is currently speeding down Superior Ave?” She made sure that we didn’t fall into negative political discourse, that humor was encouraged in posts and good deeds acknowledged. In addition, Lisa also helped create our neighborhood’s little “mailbox library” of donated books, getting our neighbors to build and paint them artistically and managing the books availability. She spruced up our main road bridge and helped guide our neighborhood watch and went to all our neighborhood events. I never talked to her on the phone, and I only met her once face to face, we connected on the page a handful of times but I felt she was an incredible neighbor, the one that kept us sane, happy and connected. Every life has an impact. Sadly, a few weeks ago she passed away at 52. The neighborhood poured out its support, setting up a go fund me page so we could dedicate a bench and bridge in our park to her and to have a ceremony in the park to honor her. I was so touched that she was so loved with messages on the Facebook page from by well over a 1,000 people in our hood. Her everyday actions, her constant support affected us all so positively. Thank the people in your life that like Lisa make a difference. Thank them today. This is an incredible positive part of Lisa’s story. She made a significant difference to so many lives.

Days later we got even sadder news, posted by her family who felt Lisa would want others to know. Lisa committed suicide. We were dumbstruck. We learned that she had horrible fatigue and her health plan doctors couldn’t diagnose its source. We had no idea she was sick. So there is a sad health care story, the internet is not enough story to this but, and there is another story that calls out, the unheard pain story. She offered support for all of us. She helped guide us to all the resources for our problems, and I know I feel that I was not there for her. I am ashamed I was not a better neighbor. This has haunted me. I think about her family, her mom and sister and I think about all of us here in the neighborhood that will miss her.

Now on our Facebook page, there are details of counselors and support groups. The book club that had been closed to new members has opened up so all are welcome. There is a meditation group starting, we supported a neighbor who lost her job. But, there are still voices out there. Voices that are calling and need to be heard. It’s something to think about.  I hate feeling powerless. Some of you know I have recently started writing and recording songs. It is a very healing art. It brings me such bliss! So I wrote a song in Lisa’s memory. The lyrics are not about Lisa her family or about her pain. It’s a gentle reminder to listen. I am listening.

Here are the lyrics to the song.
Ache Down the Line
By Patti Wood
Momma calls its three am, she’s fallen out of bed again,

Nothings broken her bones are fine, but I can hear her loneliness ache down the line.
I pack a bag get on the road, driving through the morning cold.
In her chair when I call again, I can hear her need and fear ache down the line.

God it’s hard, to make do, trying our best struggling through, 

We want someone to hear our crying, hear our loneness ache down the line.

Call my sister when it gets light. Fill her in on Mommas fright.

Baby’s cry’s intertwine and I can hear their distress ache down the line. 
Husband’s left for some blonde, Savings lost, to his bail bond. 
Power bill won’t get paid in time, I can hear her pain ache down the line.

Get to Mommas make her tea, wrap some ice round her bruised knee.

Turn on TV to unwind, ease our loneliness that aches down the line.
We look at old photographs, call back sis try to make her laugh.
Momma asleep call that friend of mine, let my loneliness ache down the line.

God it’s hard, to make do, trying our best struggling through, 

We want someone to hear our crying, hear our loneness ache down the line

Driving home to talk radio, people stories ‘bout love that goes.

He up and left, she drank too much wine and I can hear their loneliness ache down the line.
Voices rise throughout the night, hoping to be recognized.
But in the dark we are resigned to let our loneliness ache down the line.

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us Crying
In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying
In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

Hear us crying.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Macron's and Trumps bizarre handshake battle


Here is the body language read I did of Macron's and Trumps bizarre handshake battle for Mic.com

https://mic.com/articles/182205/a-body-language-expert-analyzes-trumps-unbearably-long-handshake-with-emmanuel-macron#.yBtTVLaHn



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump Handshake with French Prime Minister Macron's Wife, Body Language Read by expert Patti Wood

Trump Handshake with French Prime Minister Macron's Wife, Body Language Read by expert Patti Wood

http://dreamersintheround.com/workshop-registration/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language read for The Independent of President Donald Trump’s most recent handshake with Brigitte Macron (the French Prime Ministers wife) in this video

President Donald Trump’s most recent handshake with Brigitte Macron (the French Prime Ministers wife) in this video

Here are my rough notes. The link to the story will go up later. You may want to get my book Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma and reference the chapter on handshakes!


If you look at both videos of his handshake with her in the link you see it more clearly. Interesting that at the G20 summit and since then he has often been the initiator of handshake, where before he made others go to him, to maintain his power as in the ritual of leaders that says I powerful ,”You must come to me.” He actually takes a large step with one foot towards her then takes another as he stretches our his arm to her. Again this is different he is initiating and goes to her, releasing some of his power. But, then notice that when she steps forward to give him the traditional french cheek kisses how he grabbed her tightly on the upper arms, so tightly she is freezes for a moment in stress her feet together and her shoulders flex back in a fear response. She recovers and gives tilts her head to talk to him as a way of supplication to his power, but she tries to hold his hands to hold him slightly away from her he not only doesn’t step back so they are at a more comfortable social distance, (outside of 14 inch intimate space) by extending his arms, he keeps his elbows bend holds on to her hands awkwardly gripping them to extend the greeting, which is a bid for power and control over her. He then continues the awkward grip of her handshaking hand and jerks bizarrely upward several times, not letting go as if he is reprimanding a small child to obey him. Its very unusual. See how she steps back quickly to retreat from this control. I have conducted research on handshakes, both survey and observational research for many years and have not seen this rough grab and tug upward in an adult to adult greeting. As she tries to turn away and get away he continues holding on with his controlling grab and jerk up still holding her right hand and takes his other hands with a pat on her back that pulls her back and controls her from both sides to control her further and bring her close again and extend the greeting. By noting the timing of this pat, its placement and his facial expression and her response of her tensing and pulling away that it is intended and received as control movement. You might say, “Oh he was just giving her a friendly pat, that is an endearing warm or comforting pat, but clearly that was not the intent or the interpretation.












Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump Wins Handshake With Putin, I was misquoted Entirely.

Here is the article. I actually said something quite different! I said, he lost power by putting out his hand first. I said they started with an equal handshake with palm to palm both thumbs up position. That Trump used his left arm to touch under Putin's arm in a show of support and it was only when Trump tapped Putin's arms three times that Putin responded by giving him a symbolic shooting motion. Wild how different the story turned out. 
Here is the link to the story in the Daily Mail. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4675644/Trump-wins-handshake-Putin.html
Here is the cut and pasted version of the story. 
President Donald Trump came out on top in his first handshake with Russian President Vladimir Putin during their much anticipated meeting on Friday ahead of the G20 summit.
The pair exchanged pleasantries and what appeared to be a friendly handshake that was captured on video shot during the leaders' 'retreat' in Hamburg.
But to the expert's eye there was a power struggle going on between them, body language expert Patti Wood told DailyMail.com.
The American president makes the first move to assert his power forcing the Russian president to 'shoot back' with his finger. 
In the video, which was first posted to Facebook, Trump initiated full palm-to-palm contact with both thumbs up to 'communicate equity' and show that 'they are equal in power and status', according to Wood. 
Putin stands straight up without stepping forward as he allows Trump to come to him. Wood said Putin maintains power that way.
Both leaders smile and the 'smiles linger showing friendliness', Wood said. But the most interesting part about the handshake was Trump's use of his left hand.
'It can mean a lot of different things,' Wood said, adding that it could even mean: 'I’m in control of you.'
Trump’s left hand is seen underneath Putin's arm, which shows he is being 'supportive' while maintaining 'a bit of control'.


President Donald Trump maintained his control during his first handshake with Russian President Vladimir Putin during their much anticipated meeting on Friday ahead of the G20 summit. Body language expert Patti Wood said Trump initiated full palm-to-palm contact with both thumbs up to 'communicate equity' and show that 'they are equal in power and status'

Both leaders smile and the 'smiles linger showing friendliness', Wood said. According to Wood, the most interesting part about the handshake was Trump's use of his left hand. 'It can mean a lot of different things,' Wood said, adding that it could even mean: 'I’m in control of you'

Trump’s left hand is seen underneath Putin's arm, which shows he is being 'more supportive' while maintaining 'a bit of control' as he gently pats Putin's arm

In what appears to be a response to Trump using his left hand, Putin ‘playfully’ and ‘symbolically’ shoots Trump with his finger as if he knows what the US president is doing

On Friday, as the leaders kicked off their meeting, Trump said 'It's an honor to be with you', while Putin told the US leader: 'I'm delighted to meet you.'
During their sit-down meeting, Trump greeted Putin in a very 'unusual' way, much different from his other meetings with world leaders in which it seemed more as a 'formality', Wood told DailyMail.com, adding that Trump appeared happy to meet Putin.
During the sit down handshake, Trump took his upper body and leaned into Putin to shake hands. Wood says this is unusual as Trump typically ‘stays pretty close to an upright position’, allowing others to lean into him.
Trump also offered his palm upward, which is also not something the president does on the regular, according to Wood, who said Trump usually lets the other individual initiate a handshake.
‘His hands are centered more towards Putin. Trump usually holds his hands toward himself to show that he has the power and it’s all about him,’ Wood added.
But that wasn’t the case on Friday.
Trump’s body language with Putin showed just the opposite: It’s not all about Trump. According to Wood, the entire handshake was about the power differential. 
The upward palm shake showed that Trump is 'willing to be supportive', when oftentimes Trump 'likes to be in charge' as the alpha male. 
Putin on the other hand 'doesn't move very much' aside from when he slightly leaned forward as they were sitting down.   

Trump greeted Putin in a very 'unusual' way during their sit down handshake, Wood said. Trump offered his palm upward (pictured), which is not something the US president does, according to Wood, who added that Trump lets the other individual initiate a handshake


The upward palm shake (pictured) showed that Trump is 'willing to be supportive', when oftentimes Trump 'likes to be in charge' as the alpha male. Putin on the other hand 'takes his left arm and rests it on the chair with his elbow out,' Wood said. Putin's 'left arm is a shield over his heart', which shows that he is still guarded rather than fully open with Trump, Wood added


During their seated meeting, Trump continues with his manspread in his usual alpha male position with his hands in a steeple pointed downward. This position is distinctive to Trump as a guard position that also shows his power
'He takes his left arm and rests it on the chair with his elbow out,' Wood said, adding that it shows his 'left arm is a shield over his heart'.
Wood, who is the author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions Body Languages and Charisma, said this means, despite the pleasantries, the Russian president is still 'guarded rather than fully open' with Trump.
Putin's stillness also shows that he 'wants to maintain the power' as Trump takes a more 'passive position'.
Overall, Putin seemed 'at ease aside from the guarded elbow' Wood said. 
During their seated meeting, Trump continues with his manspread in his usual alpha male position with his hands in a steeple pointed downward. This position is distinctive to Trump as a guard position that also shows his power. 
Putin also did the manspread, showing Trump that he's an alpha as well, but Putin rested his arms on the chair arms, which made him look slightly larger tha Trump, Wood said.  
According to Wood, this showed 'a little more power'.
But most of all Wood noted the slight smile on Trump's face and his eye contact with Putin.
'That showed more than anything that he was happy and in the moment,' Wood said. 'A lot of times when he shakes hands it’s a formality.
“And he doesn’t always make full eye contact and when he does, he doesn’t usually smile.”



But according to Wood, Putin's manspread showed Trump that he's an alpha as well. Putin rested his arms on the chair, which made him look slightly larger than Trump, Wood said and this showed 'a little more power'

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.