Gender Differences In How We Feel About Our Looks

Carol King and her husband wrote “You’re Beautiful as you feel.” It’s a great song lyric, and a great thought.  There are gender differences in how we feel about our looks. Teenage boys and men tend to look in the mirror and think, “I look great!” Teenage girls and women tend to look in the mirror or phone camera and see what they don’t like and think they are not attractive. In the age of selfies, we make faces in the mirror or change the angle of the camera and tweak the photos to make ourselves more attractive rather than accept our true selves.

I suggest that for ourselves and our children every time you look in the mirror smile and say something positive out loud like, “You Rock!”  What a concept. Accept yourself and think you Rock! You can also use other methods to build self-esteem in your children here.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston Show 'Tenderness' According To Body Language Expert | Daily Mail Online

'It's like warp speed dating!' New couple Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston show 'true tenderness' according to body language experts as they kiss passionately near star's Rhode Island home... just two weeks after her split from Calvin Harris

Published: 16:10 EST, 17 June 2016 | Updated: 19:11 EST, 17 June 2016

She only announced her split from boyfriend of 15 months Calvin Harris two weeks ago. But according to body language experts Taylor Swift is already well and truly smitten with British actor Tom Hiddleston as pictures emerged this week of the pop superstar kissing her new beau on a beach near her Rhode Island home, before they were seen the next day boarding a private jet together.

Speaking to the MailOnline, the experts point to signs of 'true tenderness' between Taylor, 26, and Tom, 35, but the intimate display has also sparked questions about the 'warp speed' of their relationship, which has developed just a month after they were first spotted together at May's Met Gala.

 
Taylor took Tom to one of her favourite spots on Tuesday, with the couple seen climbing over the rocks at Weekapaug beach, seven miles from the US superstar's huge mansion in Rhode Island.

Casually dressed in a short blue dress and brown sweater, Taylor looked completely at ease in handsome Tom's company as the couple snuggled up together in front of the stunning ocean view, before leaning in for a passionate kiss.

The couple were also keen to capture their romantic day, with both stars taking turns to snap selfies before gallant Tom helped Taylor back over the rocks. 
Speaking to the MailOnline, Patti Wood, MA, who is a Certified Speaking Professional for The Gold Standard of Body Language Experts, is convinced of Tom's affection for Taylor, determining: 'He is smitten.'

Pointing to the moment where the actor is behind Taylor with his legs wrapped around her and kissing, Patti says The Night Manager hunk is besotted with Taylor, but the pop singer appears to be holding back. 'She is more pulled back to sexual intimacy,' suggests Patti. 'I do like how she is seen stretching out her arm to him, she is giving just bit of herself.'

Patti adds that 'there is some true tenderness in the photos, they could be acting, but she shows trust in several photos.'

The body language expert explains that the couple have a completely different level of intimacy in comparison to video footage of the pair hitting the dance floor at May's Met Ball, commenting: 
'The video didn’t show any connection, these photos do. If they were posing on the beach they really thought every move out to catch that gentleness.' 





Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddelton Are They Faking a Relationship.

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddelton Are They Faking a Relationship.


http://hollywoodlife.com/2016/06/16/taylor-swift-tom-hiddleston-fake-relationship-publicity-calvin-harris/



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Perfect Realtor Headshot: 25 Ideas &Tips from the Pros

I was featured in an article for Fit Small Business and my insights are below highlighted in yellow on how to practice posing for your head shot.   The link to the actual article is at the end of this blog post.

The Perfect Realtor Headshot: 
25 Ideas &Tips from the Pros

By Emile L'Eplattenier on June 13, 2016

Your realtor head shot should be the keystone of your personal brand. If you are spending money to advertise your profile on places like Zillow Premier Agent, it’s even more important.
In this article, you’ll learn 25 tips from professional photographers, body language experts, and data from photo feeler, to make sure your realtor head shot is sending the right message about your brand.  For our industry, that message should be that you are trustworthy, competent, and confident enough to help people through one of the most important decisions of their lives.  

How to Look Trustworthy in Your Realtor Headshot

1. Smile
According to a study published in the journal of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, people who looked happier in photographs were viewed as more trustworthy, while people who looked unhappier were viewed as less trustworthy. Both happy looking and unhappy looking people were viewed as equally competent, but when asked who they would choose to be their financial advisor, test subjects chose the happier looking person every time.
Studies from photofeeler.com came up with virtually identical results; people who smiled in their headshot were seen as far more likable and influential than those that didn’t, but only very slightly more competent. The takeaway here should be obvious.















General posing tips

21. Practice Your Pose before Your Shoot
Body language expert Patti Wood, MA, CSP recommends practicing several different poses in the mirror before your shoot to find one that fits your personality. Remember that crossing your arms can make you appear powerful, but closed off or defensive. If you find crossing your arms fits your personality best, Patti recommends crossing your arms loosely.

The Bottom Line
A great head shot should be the keystone of your personal branding efforts. Taking the time and effort to hire a professional photographer, working on your confidence, smile, wardrobe and pose, can offer a great ROI, and put you one step further down to path to achieving your goals.

Article link:  http://fitsmallbusiness.com/realtor-headshot/


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Do You Look and Feel More Confident? 6 Tips to Confidence.


Tip 1
Imagine what you want the other person to feel. 
So often we are thinking of how nervous or anxious or angry we are in tense situations. Sometimes it helps to think about the other person and how they feel now and how you would like them to feel as a result of interacting with you. To gain confidence and keep yourself from getting stressed in tense situations like arguments, job interviews, presentations or a first date, take the focus off yourself for a moment and imagine the emotions you want the other person or people to have about you and deliver the body language that elicits those emotions in the OTHER person.

Let's take the excitement example to help you learn this technique. Imagine you are talking to someone and you want the other person to feel excitement. For example, you can act out giving someone good news about your work, your product or your services or what you did over the weekend.  Right now, imagine his or her body language as you share the information. Put the focus on them as you imagine it and try focusing on them as you speak. 

Tip 2
Be UP!
Build confidence by moving and holding your body “UP!” If you follow me you know that I created the label UP!  to describe all upward posture and movements and facial expressions such as, head held up, gestures with up motions. When we are happy our body naturally moves up and holds itself up.

When you hold or move your body the way you would like to feel the posture actually sends a message to the brain, “Hey I am feeling great, positive and up.” As you hold your body the little pharmacy in your brain starts producing the chemicals that match that state, (in as little as a 40th of a second.) and pumps them into your body and you begin to feel up. The combination of your up posture and movement up and chemical up state is felt by the interviewer. They start to give you attentive nonverbal cues and that makes you feel more confident. I call this the fake it till you make it technique. You only have to fake it for a fraction of a second before it actually effects how you feel.

Tip 3
Gesture
Power is also communicated by gestures. Research shows that charismatic leaders use gestures four times as many as others do when they talk. Charismatic speakers from Bill Clinton and Martin Luther King from Cesar Chavez to your favorite motivational speaker punctuate almost every sentence with a strong gesture. 


Tip 4
Use lots of positive words when you speak. 
When we use positive words we can alter how our brain functions by increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas in our frontal lobes. Research shows that using positive words in your life more than negative ones can kick-start the motivational centers of the brain, propelling them to action. So think about the positive words you want people to feel and start sprinkling them into your conversations. I don't mean you need to say, "Awesome!" every few minutes but start peppering you speech with positive words.

Tip 5
Choose how YOU want to feel. 
You chose a word that expresses how you want your listener to feel, then choose a word that expresses how YOU  would like to feel in a particular situation  and then get into a posture that matches it. So if your word is CONFIDENT you put your body in an open position, arms away from your body, legs uncrossed, shoulder back, heart forward, extending eye-contact for as long as three seconds, and make your voice go down at the end of sentences. By the way, we tend to tighten the vocal chords when we are tense and the high, sometimes screechy sound does not sound powerful so move up your body language but bring down your voice.

I shared this tip with one of my coaching clients and had him act out his word for a job interview.  He chose the word Excitement. He smiled and laughed as he finished doing it. He said that he didn't feel excited in the moment before he started moving his body, he felt afraid. But he said, :"... when I did it was weird" "I brought my shoulders back and smiled and put some energy in my voice. I really did get excited" "It felt like I had just had a big cup of Starbucks."

Tip 6
Imagine you are confident and successful. 
We tend to rehearse and practice our failure. Instead practice your success. Replace any negative thoughts and movies you have in your head about how you will be and how things will go with a new thought or movie. or example, replace the thought, “ I am going to mess this up and forget what to say" with your magic word. “I am going to be CONFIDENT and remember what I want to say.” If in your failure movie you look down and mumble, rehearse your new movie with your UP! body language and gestures and the listener nodding and smiling and loving you.

Email Patti at patti@pattiwood.net

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.