Yesterday I was on HLN news talking about the effects of
the Texas campus shooting. When there is a dangerous situation and people are
afraid the group will tend to match and mirror that fear. This basic survival
instinct allowed danger to be committed to the tribe. So I always teach that you must mirror with
integrity for your sake and for the sake of the person you are empathizing
with. You may have crossed your legs to match your best
friend’s seating position or leaned in close as your sweetie and noticed that they
did the same, using matching and mirroring to get close. . Whether you realize
you’re doing it or not, subtly mimicking people in social settings helps you
form bonds and establish connections. Mirroring—copying a person’s looks,
gestures and general body language is especially effective on job interviews
and dates or when we're in other SNAP first impressions (http://www.snapfirstimpressions.com)
settings when you are trying to establish a rapport and develop trust.
While this unconscious activity has
its benefits—imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all—new
research reveals that unchecked mirroring can backfire.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
