My mother always told me to “Talk to strangers." OK, I know what you are thinking. She didn't say,"Go out and play in the highway." What she really meant was, "Talk to strangers as if they are your friends." I remember growing up my mom and I would go into Walgreen’s soda fountain for a BLT after a day of shopping. My mom would sit down with a big smile, and the waitress would walk up and my mom would turn to her and lean in close as if she had known that waitress all her life and start talking. But most of all she would start listening. She would look that waitress in the eye, nod her head and keep saying say "uh-huh," and by the end of the meal she would leave the place knowing the waitress’s name and the names of her children. She did this everywhere she went and she still does it. She flirts with the world. And you know, everybody loves it. This one piece of advice has guided my life. Talking to strangers led me to be a body language expert and professional speaker. I think we are all connected and that makes being in the world warm and welcoming.
Don't forget to sign up for the free body language seminar today.
Ten Tips for Introductions
May I introduce? The proper etiquette, rules, tips and guidelines for making introductions.
Using the proper introductions help to establish rapport when meeting people. Yes they are not always easy, but they are important. And knowing how to introduce people to one another can make you not only more comfortable in business and social setting it can make other people feel more comfortable and make you look more confident! Here are ten tips for making introductions.
The most important thing is to introduce people to each other. If you don’t know someone’s name. Or you forget whose name comes first it is alright. Don’t avoid them or just stand there hoping they will introduce them selves.
If you forget a name simply say, “Please forgive me I have forgotten your full name.” If that seems awkward to you simple say. “Hello, I would like you to meet my wife Sara and hopefully they follow through with their name. It is still less awkward than standing their you’re your unnamed wife. That shows a lack of respect for both parties. Always introduce!
In very formal setting you would say, “I would like to present to you....” Otherwise it is fine to say, “I would like to introduce you to...” or less formally, Mrs.Garmen, Mrs. Tolbight,”
When your introducing someone at a party or say out at a restaurant at the mall or a bar you could also say. Mrs. Jones, you know Mrs. Robinson, don’t you?” Or Sarah have you met Molly. Or Julie do you know my Mother?
In business at formal business events Introduce individuals to each other using both first and last names. If you are in a casual social setting or party it is fine to use first names. "Jim, Id like you to meet my neighbor, Sarah." Or, very casually, "Sarah, Jim.", "Jim, Sarah".
Whose name do you say first? Though even Miss Manner and Emily Post disagree on whose name comes first I believe you should honor the highest person by saying their name first. So think authority defines whose name is said first. Say the name of the most important person first and then the name of the person being introduced.
Introduce people in the following order:
· Younger to older, “Mrs. Hopkins I would like you to meet my little sister Mary Jones.”
· non-official to official,”Mr. President I would like you to present to you Mr. John Brown.”
· junior executive to senior executive, ”Mr. Iacocca I would like you to present you to our new junior executive Mr. Sam Horn”
· Colleague to customer, “Mrs. Hawthorne (The customer) I would like to introduce you to my college Mr. Mike Frank.”
· 2 year employee to ten year employee. Sam Coke I would like you to meet John Hordin.
· Trump rules. A customer visiting an office trumps the CEO. Mr. Camp I would like you to meet our CEO Mr. Mike Smith. There are also choices to make. Let’s say that you are introducing people to a speaker at an event and not everyone knows the name of the speaker. You could either say. MS Patti Wood I like you to meet my college Mr. Mike Stewart. Mr. Stewart (or just plane Mike) I would like you to meet our speaker today Patti Wood or you could say the lower status person’s name first Frank Smith I would like to introduce your to our speaker Dr. James Nelson. Dr Nelson this is Frank Smith he has been at the Atlanta Training office of UKS for two years. He works with Jennie Waddington. It is OK if you mess up the order. No small children were harmed, just keep going.
If you're in a formal business setting, say a convention, introduce someone who has a title’s doctor, for example’ include the title as well as the first and last names in the introduction. Use proper titles. Don't introduce your parents as 'Mom' or 'Dad' unless that is how they would like to be addressed. You can say, “I would like you to meet my mother Ms. Jones.
If the person you are introducing has a specific relationship to you, make the relationship clear by adding a phrase such as 'my boss,' 'my wife' or 'my uncle.' In the case of unmarried couples who are living together, 'companion' and 'partner' are good choices.
Use your spouse's first and last name if he or she has a different last name than you. Include the phrase 'my wife' or 'my husband.' Mr. Jones I would like you to meet my husband Eric Mann.
Introduce an individual to the group first, then the group to the individual. For example: 'Dr. Noble, I'd like you to meet my friends Hassan Jubar, Kim Nordeck and Michael Smith. Everyone, this is Dr. Mark Noble.'
Give them something to talk about once you have introduced them, preferably something they have in common. For example:” Sara this is Paul.","Paul, Sara is the biggest Baseball fan I have ever met" Now you have them a conversation starter. If you need to go, once they get a bit of a conversation going you can excuse yourself politely
Stand up. The rule used to be that only men were supposed to stand when being introduced to a woman. Now, gender no longer plays a role in most business introductions in the U.S. and European communities. In business situations, one should always stand up when being introduced to someone else.If you are traveling to another country, whether it be for business or pleasure, or if you are meeting someone whose culture is unfamiliar, always check to see what the specific manners are for that country or culture. If you are in a casual setting or in a group setting you won’t get beat up if you don’t stand, but you should stand. You don’t get to shake hands if you don’t. The exception to the rule. If you are eating you don’t have to stand or shake hands.
If your introduced to someone respond. You don’t have to say, “Nice to meet you.” It is the polite response, but you may not be sure yet if it will be nice. You don’t have to say, “It is a pleasure to meet you unless it is a pleasure.You do have to say something. You should repeat the person's name back; In a formal setting saying "Hi" or " Hello" is not enough. Instead, say, “Hello” "Do you prefer being called David or should I call you Dave?"
For more free tips on body language register for my FREE Body Language Teleclass, once your registered you will receive all the info and even if you cannot make the call we will provide you with the FREE mp3. Register here http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830
Using the proper introductions help to establish rapport when meeting people. Yes they are not always easy, but they are important. And knowing how to introduce people to one another can make you not only more comfortable in business and social setting it can make other people feel more comfortable and make you look more confident! Here are ten tips for making introductions.
The most important thing is to introduce people to each other. If you don’t know someone’s name. Or you forget whose name comes first it is alright. Don’t avoid them or just stand there hoping they will introduce them selves.
If you forget a name simply say, “Please forgive me I have forgotten your full name.” If that seems awkward to you simple say. “Hello, I would like you to meet my wife Sara and hopefully they follow through with their name. It is still less awkward than standing their you’re your unnamed wife. That shows a lack of respect for both parties. Always introduce!
In very formal setting you would say, “I would like to present to you....” Otherwise it is fine to say, “I would like to introduce you to...” or less formally, Mrs.Garmen, Mrs. Tolbight,”
When your introducing someone at a party or say out at a restaurant at the mall or a bar you could also say. Mrs. Jones, you know Mrs. Robinson, don’t you?” Or Sarah have you met Molly. Or Julie do you know my Mother?
In business at formal business events Introduce individuals to each other using both first and last names. If you are in a casual social setting or party it is fine to use first names. "Jim, Id like you to meet my neighbor, Sarah." Or, very casually, "Sarah, Jim.", "Jim, Sarah".
Whose name do you say first? Though even Miss Manner and Emily Post disagree on whose name comes first I believe you should honor the highest person by saying their name first. So think authority defines whose name is said first. Say the name of the most important person first and then the name of the person being introduced.
Introduce people in the following order:
· Younger to older, “Mrs. Hopkins I would like you to meet my little sister Mary Jones.”
· non-official to official,”Mr. President I would like you to present to you Mr. John Brown.”
· junior executive to senior executive, ”Mr. Iacocca I would like you to present you to our new junior executive Mr. Sam Horn”
· Colleague to customer, “Mrs. Hawthorne (The customer) I would like to introduce you to my college Mr. Mike Frank.”
· 2 year employee to ten year employee. Sam Coke I would like you to meet John Hordin.
· Trump rules. A customer visiting an office trumps the CEO. Mr. Camp I would like you to meet our CEO Mr. Mike Smith. There are also choices to make. Let’s say that you are introducing people to a speaker at an event and not everyone knows the name of the speaker. You could either say. MS Patti Wood I like you to meet my college Mr. Mike Stewart. Mr. Stewart (or just plane Mike) I would like you to meet our speaker today Patti Wood or you could say the lower status person’s name first Frank Smith I would like to introduce your to our speaker Dr. James Nelson. Dr Nelson this is Frank Smith he has been at the Atlanta Training office of UKS for two years. He works with Jennie Waddington. It is OK if you mess up the order. No small children were harmed, just keep going.
If you're in a formal business setting, say a convention, introduce someone who has a title’s doctor, for example’ include the title as well as the first and last names in the introduction. Use proper titles. Don't introduce your parents as 'Mom' or 'Dad' unless that is how they would like to be addressed. You can say, “I would like you to meet my mother Ms. Jones.
If the person you are introducing has a specific relationship to you, make the relationship clear by adding a phrase such as 'my boss,' 'my wife' or 'my uncle.' In the case of unmarried couples who are living together, 'companion' and 'partner' are good choices.
Use your spouse's first and last name if he or she has a different last name than you. Include the phrase 'my wife' or 'my husband.' Mr. Jones I would like you to meet my husband Eric Mann.
Introduce an individual to the group first, then the group to the individual. For example: 'Dr. Noble, I'd like you to meet my friends Hassan Jubar, Kim Nordeck and Michael Smith. Everyone, this is Dr. Mark Noble.'
Give them something to talk about once you have introduced them, preferably something they have in common. For example:” Sara this is Paul.","Paul, Sara is the biggest Baseball fan I have ever met" Now you have them a conversation starter. If you need to go, once they get a bit of a conversation going you can excuse yourself politely
Stand up. The rule used to be that only men were supposed to stand when being introduced to a woman. Now, gender no longer plays a role in most business introductions in the U.S. and European communities. In business situations, one should always stand up when being introduced to someone else.If you are traveling to another country, whether it be for business or pleasure, or if you are meeting someone whose culture is unfamiliar, always check to see what the specific manners are for that country or culture. If you are in a casual setting or in a group setting you won’t get beat up if you don’t stand, but you should stand. You don’t get to shake hands if you don’t. The exception to the rule. If you are eating you don’t have to stand or shake hands.
If your introduced to someone respond. You don’t have to say, “Nice to meet you.” It is the polite response, but you may not be sure yet if it will be nice. You don’t have to say, “It is a pleasure to meet you unless it is a pleasure.You do have to say something. You should repeat the person's name back; In a formal setting saying "Hi" or " Hello" is not enough. Instead, say, “Hello” "Do you prefer being called David or should I call you Dave?"
For more free tips on body language register for my FREE Body Language Teleclass, once your registered you will receive all the info and even if you cannot make the call we will provide you with the FREE mp3. Register here http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830
Self confidence.
A Men’s Health Magazine readership study showed that confidence ranked ahead of assertiveness, patience, communication skills and ambition as one of the characteristics. guys felt would earn more respect. Interestingly, confidence also ranked second on the skills guys felt they needed to work on the most. And I thought Men's Health readers where all buff and confident studs.
I use to teach a four week self esteem class. One semester I noticed that the people in my public speaking classes often had those same self esteem issues, and at the end of my three day public speaking class their confidence had grown tremendously. They had climbed their personal Mount Everest and having achieved the summit, they knew day to day interactions would never be as scary. Even today, the emails I receive after my public speaking class attest to the power of speaking success to help build confidence in all social areas. I feel one thing that can help your confidence is knowing what to do nonverbally. The part of your brain that controls your body langauage also holds your emotions. Making your body confidenct can make the rest of you confidenent. So use your body language to reduce your aniexty.
I use to teach a four week self esteem class. One semester I noticed that the people in my public speaking classes often had those same self esteem issues, and at the end of my three day public speaking class their confidence had grown tremendously. They had climbed their personal Mount Everest and having achieved the summit, they knew day to day interactions would never be as scary. Even today, the emails I receive after my public speaking class attest to the power of speaking success to help build confidence in all social areas. I feel one thing that can help your confidence is knowing what to do nonverbally. The part of your brain that controls your body langauage also holds your emotions. Making your body confidenct can make the rest of you confidenent. So use your body language to reduce your aniexty.
Body Language Lady Weight loss tips
I was skinny most of my life then I started gaining wieght. Finally I figured out how to stay skinny. I went from a size six ( yes that is still small but big for me to a size 0 in few months.) That was almost 30 pounds in weight loss. People ask me how I lost the weight. My lament that skinny is new pretty. (I have a post.) I was actually shocked at how many strangers responded to me so differently when I lost the weight. Goodness, even my friends kept saying how much better I looked and they loved me! I have kept most of the weight off. (If you want to know the particulars I am now between a size two and size four depending on the designer.)
The photo on the right with me in the red sweater was taken three years ago the one on the left was taken recently. Yep, I don't think I look that different. People still ask me how I lost the pounds and keep the weight off. It is not easy. After much peer pressure I promised some friends at a party last Friday night that I would blog my diet tips. I don't think it is anything new. But they wanted it in print. Though, I feel so silly saying what I do "out loud."
I am a professional speaker and a body language expert I have known for years that your appearance is important. However, I assumed with each year of age everyone gained weight. So I just put on the pounds. I have been traveling to give speeches and workshops on body language for many years so I spend a good bit of time on the road. I want to say again, I have to work really hard to keep the weight I lost off.
Here are my tips to keep weight off.
The first and most important thing is I walk every single day.
1. If I am home in Atlanta I walk with my dog Bo. We are lucky to live near a park and long walking trail.
I hate to exercise Bo and I meet so many people and dogs on the trail that I see it as a friendly visit rather than a sweatathon. We love to form our Pet Parent dog first impressions with each other. Bo, of course, is a great reader of people body language. If there is a treadmill in a hotel I get on it with the days paper. I look for stories to tie to the content of my speeches, but truly the reading distracts me from the fact that I am sweating. Pure exercise is so boring to me. I love to be "in the moment" but if that moment involves a noisy treadmill I want a distraction.
2. One thing I do seems highly unusual to other people. When I get to airport I put on my walking shoes take the handle of my wheeled briefcase and get in about 30 minutes walking up and down the concourses. People sitting in their seats at the gates stare at me, security has stopped me, but by the time I get on my flight I am refreshed and I have managed to avoid the airport junk food.
3. When I am home I walk every day for 45 minutes and while I am walking I enjoy the woods and my dogs wagging tale. To keep me going at the end of the walk I catch up on my calls to friends and family. They all tease me that I am always panting and breathless when I talk to them.
4. My rule in my home office is too keeping moving while I am on the phone with personal calls. I put on my headset and walk up and down the stairs, but away laundry, unload the dishwasher, or simply walk from room to room. I am mindful and present with my phone partner and let my body move with the beat our talking.
5. Nights are my difficult time; At home I will take a walk at night if I feel hungry. In hotels I read. You can’t eat and read a book. And watching TV seems to make me hungry.
6. When I am out of town I have trail mix to keep from ordering dessert from room service.
At home I have the usual cut up vegetable to crunch on, but my savior is plain Greek yogurt with a spoonful of peanut butter or walnuts or berries.
That's it.
Bad Breath and body language. How and why people respond the way they do.
If your on this site for the first time please check out my speaking website at www.PattiWood.net
You’re at your holiday office party standing near the punch bowl, your boss leans towards you to say hello then crinkles his nose and steps back abruptly ending the conversation. What did you do? You’re dressed in your best clothes, heck you took a shower and put on your cologne and you’re smiling even though you have heard Santa baby played four times tonight. You might think you’re doing everything right that you’re oh so sweet but if your breath is sour it will send a primal message for others to retreat that overrides anything we say. We are often unaware of are own nonverbal communication. If you have Bad breath it may be invisible to you but, its effect isn’t. It can make people lean away, step back, freeze or hold their body stiffly, bring the corners of their mouth down or simply not want to be with you. And they may not only back off that one time. Here is scarier information. Since our sense of smell is our strongest link to memory people may remember you not as that clever guy who talked about movie or but as the guy with the bad breath
In other countries doctors smell the breath of their patients to for signs of their ailment. At a primal level bad breath, communicates that you are “sick.” And people respond by withdrawing.
My brother in law is an Endodontist. That is the doctor that does root canals. He taught his children to floss well with the admonition that it not only would save their teeth from decay, but that it would also be help prevent bad breath.
It’s funny, but I always floss when I get ready for date. Why wear lipstick to make your lips kissable if someone is not going to want to get close enough to kiss you? There are long lists of things to do to prevent bad breath from eating lots of fruits and veggies to brushing the backside of your teeth and the top of your tongue. There are lots of remedies if you think you have bad breath, from eating parsley to gargling. Make sure if you have bad breath that it is not a sign of illness. I’ve been the National spokes person for the Natural Dentist a line of dental care products and done enormous research on smiling and the effect of dental health and how people respond to others. Don’t forget the silent message of good breath.
If you use this information in any document, video or audio production please attribute the content to Patti Wood, MA, CSP
You’re at your holiday office party standing near the punch bowl, your boss leans towards you to say hello then crinkles his nose and steps back abruptly ending the conversation. What did you do? You’re dressed in your best clothes, heck you took a shower and put on your cologne and you’re smiling even though you have heard Santa baby played four times tonight. You might think you’re doing everything right that you’re oh so sweet but if your breath is sour it will send a primal message for others to retreat that overrides anything we say. We are often unaware of are own nonverbal communication. If you have Bad breath it may be invisible to you but, its effect isn’t. It can make people lean away, step back, freeze or hold their body stiffly, bring the corners of their mouth down or simply not want to be with you. And they may not only back off that one time. Here is scarier information. Since our sense of smell is our strongest link to memory people may remember you not as that clever guy who talked about movie or but as the guy with the bad breath
In other countries doctors smell the breath of their patients to for signs of their ailment. At a primal level bad breath, communicates that you are “sick.” And people respond by withdrawing.
My brother in law is an Endodontist. That is the doctor that does root canals. He taught his children to floss well with the admonition that it not only would save their teeth from decay, but that it would also be help prevent bad breath.
It’s funny, but I always floss when I get ready for date. Why wear lipstick to make your lips kissable if someone is not going to want to get close enough to kiss you? There are long lists of things to do to prevent bad breath from eating lots of fruits and veggies to brushing the backside of your teeth and the top of your tongue. There are lots of remedies if you think you have bad breath, from eating parsley to gargling. Make sure if you have bad breath that it is not a sign of illness. I’ve been the National spokes person for the Natural Dentist a line of dental care products and done enormous research on smiling and the effect of dental health and how people respond to others. Don’t forget the silent message of good breath.
If you use this information in any document, video or audio production please attribute the content to Patti Wood, MA, CSP
Harvey Milk, Sean Penn, body language
If your just reading my blog for the first time please know that you can find entry's here on just about every aspect of body language. If you sign up for my newsletter on my website. www.Pattiwood.net you will get my monthly articles and news of my TV appearance's as well.
Last night my friends, Ellen, Judith and I went to see the new Sean Penn movie about Harvey Milk. It was so well done and so moving that the audience clapped at the end. It was a difficult movie to watch at times. I love movies and movies that make us socially conscious are so rare. This movie might not align with your feelings about the rights of gays, but I challenge you even if you choose not to see the movie to at least examine Harvey rights human rights work. Since this is a body language blog I could also recommend the movie for the extraordinary Oscar worthy performance of Sean Penn. Again the movie may be difficult to watch, but it can move you to think.
Personally, this movie caused me to reflect on my friend Roy and how much his life changed when he was fully “out.” How much joy and freedom he felt at being all Roy all the time. He was so happy being fully himself. People like Harvey Milk made that freedom possible, loving Roy so much I am so grateful for that. I am crying as I write this, because the movie made me feel for all those people living in secret. How horrible to live a half life, how hard to hide a part of yourself whenever you are in public. Those of us that don’t have to do that have no idea how hard that must be for gay people. To have to “act” and be aware of you body language and what you say at work, at a store, at a restaurant.
I remember back in the eighties being in Piedmont Park with a group of friends, all gay men. I was walking with my friend John. At that time he had been with his partner 6 years. (John is still with him over 20 years later as a matter of fact.) John noticed a straight couple holding hands and he whispered to me sadly, “I would love to be able to walk in this park holding hands with my love.” I have a photo from that day. It’s me and a group of some of the guys standing in a fountain with our arms around each other smiling. We made a joke of the movie, ‘Three Coins in a fountain” and called the photo “a blonde and five queers in a fountain.” Except for John, all the men in the photo died of AIDS, including my best friend Roy.
Roy was 29 when he died.
The movie also made me recall what happened with the ignorance and prejudice against gays in the fight against AIDs. There were so many needless delays in the fight against the disease. How horrific that foolish belief that it was only affecting Gay people, how insane notion that it was a punishment for them, that they deserved it. It allowed people to ignore it. It gave them permission to think it wouldn’t effect them so they didn’t have to take action. We forget we are all equal that we are all connected to each other. We must remember we are on a very small planet.
There is scene in the movie where someone tells Milk. “I know what you are against, but what are you for?” So I ask you, my dear readers “What are you for?”
As the movie ended I wept for the loss of Harvey Milk. I wondered if Harvey Milk, who was so passionate about Gay rights, so passionate about human rights had lived would he have helped the US government take action, to give money to fight AIDS more quickly? Most people don’t know that the government original plan was to corral all the people with AIDs into camps. Yes, camps. Perhaps they felt that they could get away with it because no one would stop the government from taking gay people out their homes and hospitals to isolate them.
The movie reminds us that one person can make a difference. It made me see that loss of one person who can make a difference and does not have the opportunity to keep working is tragic. Watch the movie and let me know what you thought of it.
And while you’re at it watch the old black and white classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It reminds all of us that we make a difference through are actions every day. If you watch that movie make sure you notice the body language in the telephone scene with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. It is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.
Last night my friends, Ellen, Judith and I went to see the new Sean Penn movie about Harvey Milk. It was so well done and so moving that the audience clapped at the end. It was a difficult movie to watch at times. I love movies and movies that make us socially conscious are so rare. This movie might not align with your feelings about the rights of gays, but I challenge you even if you choose not to see the movie to at least examine Harvey rights human rights work. Since this is a body language blog I could also recommend the movie for the extraordinary Oscar worthy performance of Sean Penn. Again the movie may be difficult to watch, but it can move you to think.
Personally, this movie caused me to reflect on my friend Roy and how much his life changed when he was fully “out.” How much joy and freedom he felt at being all Roy all the time. He was so happy being fully himself. People like Harvey Milk made that freedom possible, loving Roy so much I am so grateful for that. I am crying as I write this, because the movie made me feel for all those people living in secret. How horrible to live a half life, how hard to hide a part of yourself whenever you are in public. Those of us that don’t have to do that have no idea how hard that must be for gay people. To have to “act” and be aware of you body language and what you say at work, at a store, at a restaurant.
I remember back in the eighties being in Piedmont Park with a group of friends, all gay men. I was walking with my friend John. At that time he had been with his partner 6 years. (John is still with him over 20 years later as a matter of fact.) John noticed a straight couple holding hands and he whispered to me sadly, “I would love to be able to walk in this park holding hands with my love.” I have a photo from that day. It’s me and a group of some of the guys standing in a fountain with our arms around each other smiling. We made a joke of the movie, ‘Three Coins in a fountain” and called the photo “a blonde and five queers in a fountain.” Except for John, all the men in the photo died of AIDS, including my best friend Roy.
Roy was 29 when he died.
The movie also made me recall what happened with the ignorance and prejudice against gays in the fight against AIDs. There were so many needless delays in the fight against the disease. How horrific that foolish belief that it was only affecting Gay people, how insane notion that it was a punishment for them, that they deserved it. It allowed people to ignore it. It gave them permission to think it wouldn’t effect them so they didn’t have to take action. We forget we are all equal that we are all connected to each other. We must remember we are on a very small planet.
There is scene in the movie where someone tells Milk. “I know what you are against, but what are you for?” So I ask you, my dear readers “What are you for?”
As the movie ended I wept for the loss of Harvey Milk. I wondered if Harvey Milk, who was so passionate about Gay rights, so passionate about human rights had lived would he have helped the US government take action, to give money to fight AIDS more quickly? Most people don’t know that the government original plan was to corral all the people with AIDs into camps. Yes, camps. Perhaps they felt that they could get away with it because no one would stop the government from taking gay people out their homes and hospitals to isolate them.
The movie reminds us that one person can make a difference. It made me see that loss of one person who can make a difference and does not have the opportunity to keep working is tragic. Watch the movie and let me know what you thought of it.
And while you’re at it watch the old black and white classic, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It reminds all of us that we make a difference through are actions every day. If you watch that movie make sure you notice the body language in the telephone scene with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed. It is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.
12 body language tricks for great first impressions for women working internationally.
I was asked today by a journalist for my for 10 body language “tricks” for good first impressions for business woman for an issue of Harper’s Bazaar Dubai. This has been one of my favorite research areas for many years and certainly one of my audience's favorites so here are my top 12.
- Make palm to palm contact. The single most important part of the international business handshake is making palm to palm contact.
- The palm of the hand shows you’re willing to be honest and that you come to business meeting “unarmed”
- Start early. Men are not always sure whether to shake hands and how to shake hands or greet women, especially in a mixed culture setting so let your body language show what you want. At fifteen feet flash up your eyebrows to show you see them.
- Then smile to show you’re friendly. The smile is the single most important nonverbal cue to show friendliness. It is actually able to be recognized from 300 feet away and a true wide smile is one of the few cues that have the same meaning in all cultures.
- Put out your hand at 6 to four feet away from the person you want to greet so they know you want to shake hands. If you prefer not to approach with your hands at your side and your left side slightly in front of you as you meet.
- People can form a first impression in less than a fortieth of a second and may be deciding what they think about you before you begin to speak so if you know you are about to greet someone important make sure you posture is “up” make sure your head is up and above your shoulders. If you are seated rise to greet others so that your are on an equal plane. (Unless you are eating. You shouldn't’t go up to shake hands with someone who is eating, nor should you have to shake hands when someone approaches you when you are eating. )
Make sure your posture is “open” that is, and your arms are not held or folded in front of your heart. That communicates that you may be afraid or lack confidence.
Animate your voice. Make sure it has the appropriate energy to show you are pleased and happy to meet someone.
Men prefer to talk face to face standing and side to side or catty corner sitting. Choose to stand or sit to make a man comfortable and he is more likely to have a favorable impression of you.
Remove your bracelets from your right hand if you choose to shake hands in a business setting as they send a first impression, “I am a woman” rather than, “I am a smart impressive person.”
A first impression is formed very quickly, but there is also a "recency effect". People remember the LAST thing you say or do. It is especially critical in an initial interaction. Make sure you end the conversation with appropriate eye contact. Think about the other person, make a real connection with them, smile softly and make sure that if you leave with a closing statement such as, “It was a pleasure meeting you.” That your voice is expressive and sincere. Think and feel the statement as your say it rather that say it automatically.
We often are thinking of ourselves, how we look, in an initial interaction. The big secret is to focus on the other person. Make it your job and your pleasure to make them feel comfortable and you will definitely make a great first impression!
Written by Patti Wood MA, CSP.
Watch Bush's body language as he misquotes during his speeches
Watch Bush's body language as he makes various mistakes in several presidential speeches. In the first two he tries to search for the right phrase by moving his hands. This is actually and effective tool for retrieving files in your brain. But unfortunately it doesn't work for him so he smiles his little boy smile. In many of the other clips he doesn't even seem to notice his mistake! Watch talented new anchors. If they make a mistake they quickly say a transition word such as, "rather" then correct themselves and keep going without a pause. Funny. If I had been hired as his speech/media coach I would have taught him that bridging technique in a our first coaching session. Enjoy and laugh out loud!
Thursday Body Language Expert Blog. Voices
Last night I watched a special on Alistair Cook. You might know him as the man who hosted introduced Masterpiece Theater for 22 years. He also had a weekly broadcast called, "Letter From America" for over 58 years. He would sit at his window overlooking Central Park and write about America. As I watched the show I realized in many ways he was one of the first pod casters/bloggers. He observed what was happening in the world and talked about it each week. People would send him letters. Some of them addressed simply Alistair Cook in the apartment that overlooks Central Park, New York. He had a blog following.
He and his wife were great friends with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall and Bacall remarked in the special about Alistair's unique voice. I have blogged a lot about voices. His was quite remarkable. Raised in Blackpool he latter went to one of the colleges at Cambridge and developed what we call in the states and ivy league voice. Sophisticated and some what haughty he sounded like he knew everything about everything and was excited to share it with you. A fascinating man. Think about voices today. Does your voice sound knowledgeable? Does it sound sophisticated? Does it sound warm?
He and his wife were great friends with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall and Bacall remarked in the special about Alistair's unique voice. I have blogged a lot about voices. His was quite remarkable. Raised in Blackpool he latter went to one of the colleges at Cambridge and developed what we call in the states and ivy league voice. Sophisticated and some what haughty he sounded like he knew everything about everything and was excited to share it with you. A fascinating man. Think about voices today. Does your voice sound knowledgeable? Does it sound sophisticated? Does it sound warm?
Tom and Kate's Body Language...
Check out my recent read on Tom Cruise and his wife Katie Holmes' body language with US Weekly...
http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/happy-2nd-anniversary-tomkat
http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/happy-2nd-anniversary-tomkat
The History Channel Presents "The Secrets of Body Language" - See Patti's Feature in This Compelling Program!
Patti Wood is on a History Channel special this month entitled, “The Secrets of Body Language”She is one of the leading experts in Nonverbal Communication in the world who were interviewed about how to read body language and paralanguage (voice.)
The next airing of the History Channel body language special will be this Saturday, October 18, 2008 at 5:00 EST.
If you would like to contact Patti about speaking or coaching please go to her website for contact information at http://www.pattiwood.net/
Body Language Observations of the 2nd Presidential Candidates Debate - McCain vs. Obama October 08
The “fighting rules” were strict, allowing little interaction.
The candidates had to stay six feet apart, in their designated area.
******* (I have listed some of the debate rules at the bottom of the article).
Thank goodness there were no lecterns, just chairs upon which to perch while the other was speaking. This way, we could see more of the candidate’s bodies despite the fact that the other debating rules meant there was little engagement with each other. They would have very little interpersonal debate, but rather give “short speeches” in response to questions asked.
Obama came onto the stage in a long relaxed stroll. In this debate Obama was respectful and McCain did not have to tap him to get him to shake hands. They shook hands each grasping the other’s elbow in the classic politician’s handshake showing power and control.McCain had more energy than I had ever seen him have. His voice tone and energy was often positive and hopeful. He was coached well to be upbeat in the beginning of the debate but, overused that “we can do it”, “we are Americans” hopefulness later in the debate when he should have been mad at Obama for aligning him with Bush and calling him on it.
At the beginning of the debates Obama was calm, blank eyed and seemed more coached and less passionate and at times although he kept gesturing, his eyes seemed dead eyed. . While Obama spoke McCain paced the stage a bit nervously.McCain needed to be strong in this debate, show more energy confidence and power than Obama. Obama needed to be more cool, collected and in control. McCain showed more energy but overall did not seem presidential. He has more knowledge but his energy was wasted in attacks, verbal and nonverbal. He walked toward towards Obama as he attacked, but then would step back. Neither move showing strength. He often showed snarly smirking facial expressions as he walked toward Obama and pointed at him in little jabs. While discussing the Bush/Cheney-backed energy bill "stuffed full" of goodies for the oil companies. "Know who voted for it? That one," he says, not looking at Obama. "Know who voted against it? I did..." This was the biggest nonverbal memorable moment in the debate and was all negative for McCain. A big mistake.
Powerful debaters let attackers come to them and smile or act bored. Obama smiled as if McCain's attack didn’t mean a thing. McCain needed to show his confidence and superior experience knowledge but with the exception of a few questions, like what we should do about Russia, his true deep knowledge was not shown.
Obama attacked McCain during the debates by standing near his chair or walking forward using his hand to make fists. He didn’t look at him, and that worked. I didn’t like any of the attacks but Obama’s method of attack worked.
While McCain talked and Obama waited and listen for his next question, Obama sat on his stool with one leg down up with his foot resting on the bar with his legs spread open to take a posture of “cool power.”
I could almost see a black and white photo of him in that same pose on the cover of a jazz CD. This was not the same pausing, awkward Obama. His coaching between the debates was clear. Answer the questions quickly and strongly. Often Obama leapt out of the chair and strode toward Moderator Brokaw as he answered Brokaw's question. Obama loves a podium. He was more awkward in the town hall setting. He had a hard time at first approaching the audience and individual questioners. But, gained confidence later and scribbled notes more frequently. His notebook spilling over the small table.With the physical; contrast one tall and slender, the other short and older; their physical differences seemed more pronounced as they walked on the stage in this setting.
Remember, we tend to choose the winning candidate in a debate seconds after it begins. Typically, we make these choices based on the charismatic factors of Likeability, attractiveness and level of dominance. Though McCain was more comfortable in the town hall format and sincerely engaged the people and talked to the questioners in an authentically warm way, his gestures showed up too late. Obama had it made before he opened his mouth.More notes to come later today. In the meantime, check out this story with me and several other experts:http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-na-debateside8-2008oct08,0,4755608.story********The format: Under the terms of a 31-page Memorandum of Understanding, Candidates must stay in their designated areas. The NBC host Tom Brokaw will moderate, picking questions from a pool 150 undecided voters from the Nashville area, pre-selected by Gallup so that they're demographically representative. The live questioners will ask their questions directly, and Brokaw will intersperse them with selections from a reported six million others received by email. Cameras aren't allowed to show the reactions of the live questioners -- just their initial questions. Tom Brokaw will identify a person and call on them; the questioner will ask the question, and then be seated. The candidate to whom the question was posed will have two minutes to respond, and then the other candidate will have two minutes. Then there'll be one minute of open discussion.
The candidates had to stay six feet apart, in their designated area.
******* (I have listed some of the debate rules at the bottom of the article).
Thank goodness there were no lecterns, just chairs upon which to perch while the other was speaking. This way, we could see more of the candidate’s bodies despite the fact that the other debating rules meant there was little engagement with each other. They would have very little interpersonal debate, but rather give “short speeches” in response to questions asked.
Obama came onto the stage in a long relaxed stroll. In this debate Obama was respectful and McCain did not have to tap him to get him to shake hands. They shook hands each grasping the other’s elbow in the classic politician’s handshake showing power and control.McCain had more energy than I had ever seen him have. His voice tone and energy was often positive and hopeful. He was coached well to be upbeat in the beginning of the debate but, overused that “we can do it”, “we are Americans” hopefulness later in the debate when he should have been mad at Obama for aligning him with Bush and calling him on it.
At the beginning of the debates Obama was calm, blank eyed and seemed more coached and less passionate and at times although he kept gesturing, his eyes seemed dead eyed. . While Obama spoke McCain paced the stage a bit nervously.McCain needed to be strong in this debate, show more energy confidence and power than Obama. Obama needed to be more cool, collected and in control. McCain showed more energy but overall did not seem presidential. He has more knowledge but his energy was wasted in attacks, verbal and nonverbal. He walked toward towards Obama as he attacked, but then would step back. Neither move showing strength. He often showed snarly smirking facial expressions as he walked toward Obama and pointed at him in little jabs. While discussing the Bush/Cheney-backed energy bill "stuffed full" of goodies for the oil companies. "Know who voted for it? That one," he says, not looking at Obama. "Know who voted against it? I did..." This was the biggest nonverbal memorable moment in the debate and was all negative for McCain. A big mistake.
Powerful debaters let attackers come to them and smile or act bored. Obama smiled as if McCain's attack didn’t mean a thing. McCain needed to show his confidence and superior experience knowledge but with the exception of a few questions, like what we should do about Russia, his true deep knowledge was not shown.
Obama attacked McCain during the debates by standing near his chair or walking forward using his hand to make fists. He didn’t look at him, and that worked. I didn’t like any of the attacks but Obama’s method of attack worked.
While McCain talked and Obama waited and listen for his next question, Obama sat on his stool with one leg down up with his foot resting on the bar with his legs spread open to take a posture of “cool power.”
I could almost see a black and white photo of him in that same pose on the cover of a jazz CD. This was not the same pausing, awkward Obama. His coaching between the debates was clear. Answer the questions quickly and strongly. Often Obama leapt out of the chair and strode toward Moderator Brokaw as he answered Brokaw's question. Obama loves a podium. He was more awkward in the town hall setting. He had a hard time at first approaching the audience and individual questioners. But, gained confidence later and scribbled notes more frequently. His notebook spilling over the small table.With the physical; contrast one tall and slender, the other short and older; their physical differences seemed more pronounced as they walked on the stage in this setting.
Remember, we tend to choose the winning candidate in a debate seconds after it begins. Typically, we make these choices based on the charismatic factors of Likeability, attractiveness and level of dominance. Though McCain was more comfortable in the town hall format and sincerely engaged the people and talked to the questioners in an authentically warm way, his gestures showed up too late. Obama had it made before he opened his mouth.More notes to come later today. In the meantime, check out this story with me and several other experts:http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-na-debateside8-2008oct08,0,4755608.story********The format: Under the terms of a 31-page Memorandum of Understanding, Candidates must stay in their designated areas. The NBC host Tom Brokaw will moderate, picking questions from a pool 150 undecided voters from the Nashville area, pre-selected by Gallup so that they're demographically representative. The live questioners will ask their questions directly, and Brokaw will intersperse them with selections from a reported six million others received by email. Cameras aren't allowed to show the reactions of the live questioners -- just their initial questions. Tom Brokaw will identify a person and call on them; the questioner will ask the question, and then be seated. The candidate to whom the question was posed will have two minutes to respond, and then the other candidate will have two minutes. Then there'll be one minute of open discussion.
Vice Presidential Debates--Palin and Biden’s Body Language
My Ramblings on Body Language:
The non interaction rule set by McCain’s team worked to Biden’s benefit. His usual over the top anger and ranting was much more restrained. Yes, Biden was angry. Yes, he pointed and used one handed and two handed chopping motions to make his points, but this time his anger made Biden appear earnest and sincere.
Yes, he got angry at Palin very early in the debate and he occasionally pointed his finger at her and many times he jumped in to say she was wrong before he was called on. Still, he could have been more attacking and he would have looked far worse.
Palin started with a smile and kept a smile on for most of the debate. Click here to hear my comments on the O'reilly Factor: http://www.pattiwood.net or read the interview below.
Palin walks the “B line” well.
What is the B line?
Well, women have to walk a line between being too feminine and being perceived as weak or going too far to the other side of the line and being perceived as a B***ch. Powerful women have the hardest time with it. Hilary Clinton didn’t have a problem choosing. She stayed strong and in doing so came across too far on the “B side”.
Palin wants to be more feminine so she uses her beautiful beauty queen smile to mask her anger. At times, especially near the end of the debate, the smile became a “snarl” and made her look condescending. We don’t like “masking smiles” on powerful people.
Palin did a little blinking when she started but not the highly nervous 50 to 60 blinks per minute or the 80 blinks per minute often called the “Nixon effect”. She went to her strength, her down home folksy manner of delivery. Her little "betcha’s" and other contractions were a little much when she talked about the big issues, but overall they evoked a “ Reaganistic” warmth and the approval ratings soared. Tune in for more as I talk about Palin’s winks and Biden's head tilts later...
To view my ABC News article and more on this subject visit my site.
The non interaction rule set by McCain’s team worked to Biden’s benefit. His usual over the top anger and ranting was much more restrained. Yes, Biden was angry. Yes, he pointed and used one handed and two handed chopping motions to make his points, but this time his anger made Biden appear earnest and sincere.
Yes, he got angry at Palin very early in the debate and he occasionally pointed his finger at her and many times he jumped in to say she was wrong before he was called on. Still, he could have been more attacking and he would have looked far worse.
Palin started with a smile and kept a smile on for most of the debate. Click here to hear my comments on the O'reilly Factor: http://www.pattiwood.net or read the interview below.
Palin walks the “B line” well.
What is the B line?
Well, women have to walk a line between being too feminine and being perceived as weak or going too far to the other side of the line and being perceived as a B***ch. Powerful women have the hardest time with it. Hilary Clinton didn’t have a problem choosing. She stayed strong and in doing so came across too far on the “B side”.
Palin wants to be more feminine so she uses her beautiful beauty queen smile to mask her anger. At times, especially near the end of the debate, the smile became a “snarl” and made her look condescending. We don’t like “masking smiles” on powerful people.
Palin did a little blinking when she started but not the highly nervous 50 to 60 blinks per minute or the 80 blinks per minute often called the “Nixon effect”. She went to her strength, her down home folksy manner of delivery. Her little "betcha’s" and other contractions were a little much when she talked about the big issues, but overall they evoked a “ Reaganistic” warmth and the approval ratings soared. Tune in for more as I talk about Palin’s winks and Biden's head tilts later...
To view my ABC News article and more on this subject visit my site.
Interview with Hillary Reynolds of Her Way Up...
"Her Way Up" is a soon-to-be launched online community for businesswomen. We are currently looking for women business owners (all industries) to profile. -Hillary Reynolds
1) How long have you been in business? I have been a professional speaker and body language expert since 1982
2) What made you decide to launch your own company? Actually people in my audiences said I should start my own speaking company.
3) Are there any women in business who you admire? And why? Some I admire for their business acumen. It is harder to find successful women business owners who are not stressed and have a balanced happy life. I know a women business owner who have great business success, or have a great family lives having both is difficult. It has taken me years to achieve a balanced happy life and I am so grateful to have it.
4) What have been the greatest challenges that you have faced? Living with economic uncertainty has been my greatest challenge. Also, I can be creative, and disciplined and motivate myself, but sometimes I would like a business partner to bounce ideas off of or to say, “Tomorrow will be great!” I have an awesome assistant, fellow speakers and entrepreneurial friends, and family that have really made my success possible and we always support each other. Yet I would love someone who is invested in my business to share things with on a daily basis.
5) What has been your greatest victory? When I started my business I would stand up and do the “Rocky” dance when I got a booking and saw each engagement as a victory. Now, though I have been on TV many times and quoted weekly in national publications, my greatest victory happens each time an audience member calls or sends an email that a course I taught or a speech I gave motivated them to a positive change in their life. It means so much to me. I feel so blessed to get to do what I love to do and knowing I have a small part in helping people is awesome.
6) What advice would you give to other women who are thinking of starting their own companies? Have a year of income in the bank that is not a loan. Take a negotiation and sale class. Create a business plan and budget and post it in the office. Set profit goals for each month and then put a calendar on the wall and mark you income and outflows for the month so you actually see them. That monthly goal can be very motivating. And most importantly, surround yourself with team mates, family and friends that you love and give to and who support your vision and remember love is always more important than the bottom line. Your job won’t sit and cuddle on the couch with you.
1) How long have you been in business? I have been a professional speaker and body language expert since 1982
2) What made you decide to launch your own company? Actually people in my audiences said I should start my own speaking company.
3) Are there any women in business who you admire? And why? Some I admire for their business acumen. It is harder to find successful women business owners who are not stressed and have a balanced happy life. I know a women business owner who have great business success, or have a great family lives having both is difficult. It has taken me years to achieve a balanced happy life and I am so grateful to have it.
4) What have been the greatest challenges that you have faced? Living with economic uncertainty has been my greatest challenge. Also, I can be creative, and disciplined and motivate myself, but sometimes I would like a business partner to bounce ideas off of or to say, “Tomorrow will be great!” I have an awesome assistant, fellow speakers and entrepreneurial friends, and family that have really made my success possible and we always support each other. Yet I would love someone who is invested in my business to share things with on a daily basis.
5) What has been your greatest victory? When I started my business I would stand up and do the “Rocky” dance when I got a booking and saw each engagement as a victory. Now, though I have been on TV many times and quoted weekly in national publications, my greatest victory happens each time an audience member calls or sends an email that a course I taught or a speech I gave motivated them to a positive change in their life. It means so much to me. I feel so blessed to get to do what I love to do and knowing I have a small part in helping people is awesome.
6) What advice would you give to other women who are thinking of starting their own companies? Have a year of income in the bank that is not a loan. Take a negotiation and sale class. Create a business plan and budget and post it in the office. Set profit goals for each month and then put a calendar on the wall and mark you income and outflows for the month so you actually see them. That monthly goal can be very motivating. And most importantly, surround yourself with team mates, family and friends that you love and give to and who support your vision and remember love is always more important than the bottom line. Your job won’t sit and cuddle on the couch with you.
Media Frenzy....
In the last month I have done a weekly “Will they last?” piece for OK! Magazine, Three Cosomo interviews, As well as interviews for Men’s Health, Esquire, Glamour, AOL, Fox News, ABC news, Womens world, Sugur (UK publication), Life and Style weekly, The Sun (Canadian publication), America’s Best, and many more TV, print and online publications and radio interviews. Do to my busy speaking schedule I have also had to turn down requests for Larry King Live, The Big Idea, Fox News, and Access Hollywood. I look forward to reading the candidates more as the election draws closer.
Times Union Blog...
Take a look at my comments in this article by a fellow blogger:
http://blogs.timesunion.com/kristi/?p=143
http://blogs.timesunion.com/kristi/?p=143
Body Language Notes to be Featured in Cosmo...
Here are some notes from this months Cosmo interview:
Hed
What His Touches Can Tell You
Dek
It’s no secret that guys aren’t big on talking. Luckily, their bodies communicate for them—if you know how to read the signs.
The lean-in from the side
You may notice this gesture when you’re sitting next to each other at the dinner table or at a bar. It’s subtle and may seem like an accident (for example, you brush shoulders sharing a menu or your knees bump), but may actually calculated contact to gauge your interest. If a guy is on the shy side, this approach seems like a “safe” way to see how you react–if you’re not into it, he won’t lose face if you recoil.
The playful punch.
This grade school move is what guys revert to when they like you but have no clue how to verbalize it (or they’re too nervous to). Men also relate to one another by rough housing, so your date may be trying to establish a bond. A punch between guys in a nonsexual way to say, “We are buddies” so for men it seems a sage way to say they like you.
The forearm graze.
If a man briefly places his touches you on your forearm as he is talking he may be reaching out to make sure he has your attention. He may be worried you’re losing interest and he’s trying to bring you back into the moment. If he touches you on the forearm while your talking it is more likely a sign of interest in you and what you have to say.
The hand on the back.
A guy who gently places his palm on your lower back (to guide you through a crowd, for example) is on his best behavior. He’s trying to make a good impression and let you know that he’s a gentleman. [Patti – this is from another expert, whom we cite below]
Notice how and where he places his hand. Is he gentle rather than possessivlivly gripping your back ? Where does he place his hand, in the sweet spot in the center of the back or lower. If his hand creeps lower, he may be testing the waters to see how far physically you’ll let him go.
Sources: Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals; Jan Hargrave, body language consultant and author of Let Me See Your Body Talk
Hed
What His Touches Can Tell You
Dek
It’s no secret that guys aren’t big on talking. Luckily, their bodies communicate for them—if you know how to read the signs.
The lean-in from the side
You may notice this gesture when you’re sitting next to each other at the dinner table or at a bar. It’s subtle and may seem like an accident (for example, you brush shoulders sharing a menu or your knees bump), but may actually calculated contact to gauge your interest. If a guy is on the shy side, this approach seems like a “safe” way to see how you react–if you’re not into it, he won’t lose face if you recoil.
The playful punch.
This grade school move is what guys revert to when they like you but have no clue how to verbalize it (or they’re too nervous to). Men also relate to one another by rough housing, so your date may be trying to establish a bond. A punch between guys in a nonsexual way to say, “We are buddies” so for men it seems a sage way to say they like you.
The forearm graze.
If a man briefly places his touches you on your forearm as he is talking he may be reaching out to make sure he has your attention. He may be worried you’re losing interest and he’s trying to bring you back into the moment. If he touches you on the forearm while your talking it is more likely a sign of interest in you and what you have to say.
The hand on the back.
A guy who gently places his palm on your lower back (to guide you through a crowd, for example) is on his best behavior. He’s trying to make a good impression and let you know that he’s a gentleman. [Patti – this is from another expert, whom we cite below]
Notice how and where he places his hand. Is he gentle rather than possessivlivly gripping your back ? Where does he place his hand, in the sweet spot in the center of the back or lower. If his hand creeps lower, he may be testing the waters to see how far physically you’ll let him go.
Sources: Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Success Signals; Jan Hargrave, body language consultant and author of Let Me See Your Body Talk
Mens Health - Great Eye Contact Question...
I recently helped to answer a question on Mens Health - Maybe you can benefit from my answer...
Question: I struggle to maintain eye contact. Can you help? Matt, Boston, MA
Answer: First, understand why you're loathe to lock eyes. "When you feel dominated, anxious, or shy, you look away as an attempt to regain control, disengage, and limit how much information you take in," says John Dovidio, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Yale University. So before any important conversation, make a conscious effort to rein in your addled emotions. If you're still struggling with eye contact, take the advice of body-language expert Patti Wood, M.A., and "split your attention among the person's mouth, eyes, and cheeks." This makes wandering eyes less obvious. And don't stop trying: University of Colorado researchers found that meeting a person's gaze makes you seem powerful and credible.
Question: I struggle to maintain eye contact. Can you help? Matt, Boston, MA
Answer: First, understand why you're loathe to lock eyes. "When you feel dominated, anxious, or shy, you look away as an attempt to regain control, disengage, and limit how much information you take in," says John Dovidio, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Yale University. So before any important conversation, make a conscious effort to rein in your addled emotions. If you're still struggling with eye contact, take the advice of body-language expert Patti Wood, M.A., and "split your attention among the person's mouth, eyes, and cheeks." This makes wandering eyes less obvious. And don't stop trying: University of Colorado researchers found that meeting a person's gaze makes you seem powerful and credible.
Fox News Network's O'Reilly Factor
Tune in to the Fox News Network's O'Reilly Factor:America's Election IQ @ 9/17/08 @ 5 - 6 PM EST
Body language expert, Patti Wood has been asked to join the set of FNN's O'Reilly Factor at 5:45 PM EST! Be sure to tune in and hear Patti's amazing nonverbal insights on Palin's body language!
Check Patti's Website for more about Patti.
Here is a preview of her commentary on Palin's body language:
She is actively moving and manipulating space makes her looks powerful and action oriented. Gestures automatically act like an orchestra leader’s baton to animate the voice
Emphasizes her points making them more memorable to us.
Tune in tonight for more!
Jessica Simpson Tongue Body Language for Glamour.com...
Playfully showing your tongue is often about seduction. In Jessica’s case her tongue is unusually long and she knows it.
She shows it off as she shows off her other assets with the goal of being noticed. The various ways she shows her tongue full out to the front, to the side or just showing the tip all work to say nonverbally, “I am the sexiest women you have ever seen.”
Mortgage Banker's Association
I recently spoke to the wonderful people of the Mortgage Bankers Association.
Here is a picture from the day...
Palin and Gibson Interview
I am sitting at the Delta Crown room of the San Diego Airport doing a body language analysis of the Sara Palin interview by Charles Gibson. Oh my goodness. She is SO out of her league. One of the most striking cues is her modified turtle posture, her posture that was so up and proud during her Republican Convention Speeches is now hunched down an her head is protected by her shoulders! She goes forward rather than up - this shows her fear. This is a dramatic shift in our previous images of her. She did had strength in her speeches using her - "We are mad as hell" voice. Here she is talking to the utterly calm and subdued Gibson then her sudden angry, louder than necessary voice as she talks about terrorism makes her sound like she is ready to attack the middle east tomorrow and she will be flying the bomber. You know I rarely editorialize in my body language reads, but this is unbelievable. When questioned about whether she believed the Bush doctrine she paused and tried to use one of her prepared answers but then he kept after her and finally had to define the Bush doctrine on terrorism. She did a side of the mouth tongue thrust at him. Yes she stuck her tongue out. It is obvious that Gibson can't believe she does not know the answers to his questions his voice even begins to portray his irritation. Notice how she shows her nervousness as she begins to answer the tough questions, by kicking her foot. She needs to plant both feet on the ground. Some of you know that I recommend that as it allows the hemispheres of your brain to sync and give you higher levels of cognition. She needs the help.
McCain New York Times Deception
Today I was on CNN Headline news and Fox news talking about Senator McCain’s Body Language as he responded to the New York Times story of his alleged affair with a lobbyist. The big question did him have and affair and did that because him have any improprieties with public policy. Bottom line is this statement did not indicate that he did. Unlike the Roger Clemmons Testimony I analyzed last week were Roger in which Roger was angry and upset and had multiple deception cues like Drawbridge tongue and lip erasures McCain was even and calm in his responses. Not to calm and restrained not angry…extremes on either emotional end would have made me suspicious as when someone is lying their behavior tends to go to the extreme of their normal demeanor.
While McCain did not show clear deception cues he did have a few telling and rather interesting nervousness cues. First in his statement. “At no time have I ever done anything to betray the public trust … or make any decisions ... anything ... public.
He vocally punched up the words ever, anything, public, decisions and the final public.
He also pushed his head forward as he said most of those words. The most punched was the word public on public trust. Politicians and liars choose their words carefully. He didn’t make any DECISIONS... to Betray PUBLIC trust. This still leaves him an opening to have had actions that betrayed a private trust.
Next discussing the New York Times article, McCain said “…I am very disappointed in the New York Times article It’s not true. He used the contraction It’s rather than it is not true. Lies tend to want to emphasize the no or that not in this statement he used that contraction of a truth teller. In the next question did his staff talk to him about appearing to be to close to a lobbyist he said nodded his head no first then said no showing his feelings before saying his feeling an indication of honesty. Asked, “No meeting ( with staffers about it) ever occurred he again shook no then said no and as he did he showed his one small tell of anger shut his mouth tightly to hold in his mad face and then his cheeks puffed up with all the surprised anger.
Did you ever have such a relationship (romantic) he shuts his eyes says no shuts his eyes again them grimaces. Showing his displeasure with being asked the question but no clear indications of deceit. Concerning a relationship. When asked, “Do you feel that in?
Terms of your relationship you were closer with her than others? He responded by shaking his and simultaneously saying not and his voice got softer on the no, showing their may be a question in his mind about what Closer Relationship with other might mean. Think of the significance of Clinton’s word choice I did not have sexual relations with that women. But even these cues did not show clear deceit.
As he talked about the letters he wrote to the FCC his voice and body language were calm, again no restrained or overly tense as he said he explained why he did nothing inappropriate. He certainly was telling the truth about that.
While McCain did not show clear deception cues he did have a few telling and rather interesting nervousness cues. First in his statement. “At no time have I ever done anything to betray the public trust … or make any decisions ... anything ... public.
He vocally punched up the words ever, anything, public, decisions and the final public.
He also pushed his head forward as he said most of those words. The most punched was the word public on public trust. Politicians and liars choose their words carefully. He didn’t make any DECISIONS... to Betray PUBLIC trust. This still leaves him an opening to have had actions that betrayed a private trust.
Next discussing the New York Times article, McCain said “…I am very disappointed in the New York Times article It’s not true. He used the contraction It’s rather than it is not true. Lies tend to want to emphasize the no or that not in this statement he used that contraction of a truth teller. In the next question did his staff talk to him about appearing to be to close to a lobbyist he said nodded his head no first then said no showing his feelings before saying his feeling an indication of honesty. Asked, “No meeting ( with staffers about it) ever occurred he again shook no then said no and as he did he showed his one small tell of anger shut his mouth tightly to hold in his mad face and then his cheeks puffed up with all the surprised anger.
Did you ever have such a relationship (romantic) he shuts his eyes says no shuts his eyes again them grimaces. Showing his displeasure with being asked the question but no clear indications of deceit. Concerning a relationship. When asked, “Do you feel that in?
Terms of your relationship you were closer with her than others? He responded by shaking his and simultaneously saying not and his voice got softer on the no, showing their may be a question in his mind about what Closer Relationship with other might mean. Think of the significance of Clinton’s word choice I did not have sexual relations with that women. But even these cues did not show clear deceit.
As he talked about the letters he wrote to the FCC his voice and body language were calm, again no restrained or overly tense as he said he explained why he did nothing inappropriate. He certainly was telling the truth about that.
John McCain's Body Language
John McCain nonverbals are different from the other candidates in their lack of full body movement, lack of gestures, lack of vocal variation and overall lack of energy. He does of course have health concerns that effect his movement. When speaking in the youtube video the controversial Pig Book his voice has and very little variation in pitch tone or volume, perhaps in an attempt at gravitas.
Of all the videos I watched the only time I noted him speaking emotionally with vocal variation and a with fast and intense pace is when he was defending his statements about the war winding down (not sure of exact words) that the media had called him on. On video John McCain talks about the war.
Off all the candidates McCain blinks the most frequently. Normal blink rate is 20 closures per minute. If someone blinks even slightly more than that, it can be sign he or she is excited or nervous. Watch when he blinks the most to see what he is uncomfortable talking about.
Of all the videos I watched the only time I noted him speaking emotionally with vocal variation and a with fast and intense pace is when he was defending his statements about the war winding down (not sure of exact words) that the media had called him on. On video John McCain talks about the war.
Off all the candidates McCain blinks the most frequently. Normal blink rate is 20 closures per minute. If someone blinks even slightly more than that, it can be sign he or she is excited or nervous. Watch when he blinks the most to see what he is uncomfortable talking about.
I have been analyzing hours of tape for a three-part History Channel special that I am shooting this weekend. Here are my rough notes on Obama's voice as he did his victory speech at the Iowa Caucus back in January. Barack's voice is naturally a deep, full, low baritone. According to research, deep low voices are perceived as more authoritative, believable, and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease with which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain, and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. As much as she tries to control it and make it sound lower, Hillary's voice is not naturally low. When she attempts to lower it, she strains it and sounds screechy and angry.
Obama's paralanguage is chameleon-like. He changes his voice so dramatically to suit his location, his audience, and his topic, that it is difficult to know just what his real voice is or who he truly is. Listen to how Obama's cadence has that certain rhythm like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words. For example, "They saaaaaaaid this day would never come." Preachers have a special rhythmic pattern where their voices fluctuate up and down like a song and pause on a beat rhythmically like a paradiddle on a drum. His speaking is so musical and pleasing to the ear, that we can be moved by the rhythm and not even hear the words. In fact the words may actually lack substance and he can get by without really saying anything new in the speech.
Obama’s vocal style is hypnotic, such that when his voice goes up and then he pauses, you almost want to cheer and say amen. You can’t help yourself. He actually copies the feel and the cadence of Martin Luther King’s “I had a dream” speech. Listen to how to his volume goes up and up and up…stirring the crowd, and then he pauses for effect. He waits until the audience cheers before he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause, and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause, sound more powerful and important.
And notice how he says particular words, like “you small towns and churches, Ameeerica, and affooordableeeee. As he draws these words out, he puts on a slightly more southern accent or he casually slurs the word. That makes him sound like one of the common folk. So even when we know that he came from an upper class family, when he says, “calloused hand by calloused hand,” he sounds like he was there with us working on the farm and plowing the field.
Check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNZaq-YKCnE
Obama's paralanguage is chameleon-like. He changes his voice so dramatically to suit his location, his audience, and his topic, that it is difficult to know just what his real voice is or who he truly is. Listen to how Obama's cadence has that certain rhythm like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words. For example, "They saaaaaaaid this day would never come." Preachers have a special rhythmic pattern where their voices fluctuate up and down like a song and pause on a beat rhythmically like a paradiddle on a drum. His speaking is so musical and pleasing to the ear, that we can be moved by the rhythm and not even hear the words. In fact the words may actually lack substance and he can get by without really saying anything new in the speech.
Obama’s vocal style is hypnotic, such that when his voice goes up and then he pauses, you almost want to cheer and say amen. You can’t help yourself. He actually copies the feel and the cadence of Martin Luther King’s “I had a dream” speech. Listen to how to his volume goes up and up and up…stirring the crowd, and then he pauses for effect. He waits until the audience cheers before he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause, and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause, sound more powerful and important.
And notice how he says particular words, like “you small towns and churches, Ameeerica, and affooordableeeee. As he draws these words out, he puts on a slightly more southern accent or he casually slurs the word. That makes him sound like one of the common folk. So even when we know that he came from an upper class family, when he says, “calloused hand by calloused hand,” he sounds like he was there with us working on the farm and plowing the field.
Check out the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNZaq-YKCnE
Body language analysis of Presidential candidate Obama
One of the most interesting and dramatic aspects of Obama’s body and para language is that it changes so much from speech to speech and location to location. While many candidates slow down their speech slightly to charm their southern audiences and increase their rate for New York news shows, Obama transforms. For example, if you had never heard him speak before and watched him give his Selma Alabama speech you would note his voice is extremely slow and takes on the relaxed consonants and cadence of Alabama. When he is interviewed on1/10/2007 concerning his response to the Bush Speech his voice pace is face, his speech is clipped, and his consonants are crisp.
When he is out in crowds he stops to talk to someone he laser focuses on them. He gives them significant extended eye contact, leans forward and stays in their intimate zone of space. These behaviors we observed in the “charismatic Clinton.
Remember what makes a candidate look honest and powerful to us when we view him or her on the small screen, may be counter to what may look appropriate to the audience he or she is speaking to when they are taped in front of a live audience. When speaking, behind a podium or on a stage without he does something rather unusual he turns his face and body to sides or moves his entire body towards the audience to shows his desire to empathize and connect with them. However, when we view that on video we may read it differently subconsciously. For example, In the Selma speech he turns his face and body to his right side then left again and again, rather than focus to the front and center. Front and center speaking is read as more honest, more forthright and powerful. On the tapes speech 2 of 5 on you/tube he actually leans his body from the waist up out towards the audience of students as he makes each point. Typically candidates stay straight up and down to show they are “Straight” and strong on issues.
Obama’s body language cues are different in debates and interviews than in speeches. In Third televised debate Keys Obama becomes visibly angry he jabs out his finger at the interviewer in a symbolic weapon even a one time at the end of the interview. At one point he even puts up both hands with the forefingers out symbolically firing as if there were guns in each hand pushes his hand out toward, not just in a symbolic stop sign, but a more aggressive pushing away motion. Nonverbally when can see he is an emotional man. Look for interviews like his response to Bush speech. Watch his mouth goes up more on his left side. Our emotional right hemisphere controls the left side of he face when there is a split face and one side shows more than the other note which side. The mouth twisting up to his left says he was feeling very emotional and though he wished to control it he couldn’t.
When he is out in crowds he stops to talk to someone he laser focuses on them. He gives them significant extended eye contact, leans forward and stays in their intimate zone of space. These behaviors we observed in the “charismatic Clinton.
Remember what makes a candidate look honest and powerful to us when we view him or her on the small screen, may be counter to what may look appropriate to the audience he or she is speaking to when they are taped in front of a live audience. When speaking, behind a podium or on a stage without he does something rather unusual he turns his face and body to sides or moves his entire body towards the audience to shows his desire to empathize and connect with them. However, when we view that on video we may read it differently subconsciously. For example, In the Selma speech he turns his face and body to his right side then left again and again, rather than focus to the front and center. Front and center speaking is read as more honest, more forthright and powerful. On the tapes speech 2 of 5 on you/tube he actually leans his body from the waist up out towards the audience of students as he makes each point. Typically candidates stay straight up and down to show they are “Straight” and strong on issues.
Obama’s body language cues are different in debates and interviews than in speeches. In Third televised debate Keys Obama becomes visibly angry he jabs out his finger at the interviewer in a symbolic weapon even a one time at the end of the interview. At one point he even puts up both hands with the forefingers out symbolically firing as if there were guns in each hand pushes his hand out toward, not just in a symbolic stop sign, but a more aggressive pushing away motion. Nonverbally when can see he is an emotional man. Look for interviews like his response to Bush speech. Watch his mouth goes up more on his left side. Our emotional right hemisphere controls the left side of he face when there is a split face and one side shows more than the other note which side. The mouth twisting up to his left says he was feeling very emotional and though he wished to control it he couldn’t.
Body Language Influences on the Presidential Vote
As an expert in body language I am often asked to do reads of political leaders. (Yes, I know your thinking, “How do you become an expert on such a weird thing.) I have communication degrees with a specialization in body language, taught the topic at the university level, and have researched, written and spoken on it for over 25 years)
Last week I was asked by Psychology today to study tapes of the speeches and interviews of the top presidential candidates over the next few weeks I will be posting to my blog the detailed notes I took as I read over 12 hours of tapes on the candidates. I wanted to start my discussion with a research study on the influence of body language on political choice - body language influence on Presidential voting.
Body language influences us in so many ways, but did you know it profoundly effects who is chosen as president of the United States. Researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research studied the effects of charisma on politics The study involved a group of Harvard undergraduates who were shown 10-second silent video clips of candidates in 58 gubernatorial elections between 1988 and 2000--candidates unfamiliar to the study participants. When asked who they thought had won the election the students were still able to choose the candidate who won 60% of the time. They didn’t know anything about the background of and more importantly never heard a word they said. Their choices where made purely on the basis of body language!
What explained this? "Shapiro was reluctant to call it charisma, although his colleague Danial J. Benjamin, a fellow at the University of Michigan...had no such qualms. He noted 'We found that snap decisions based on charisma are good predictors of election outcomes'."
How did they define Charisma? They used a definition from German sociologist Max Weber, who studied charisma, described it as a gift of power, leadership. They were looking at the body language seeing those strong power characteristics and saying that is the body language of a leader. In fact, According to US psychologist, Alex Todorov, people respond intuitively to faces so rapidly, that their reasoning minds may not have time to influence the reaction. The results of the newest research say that when we see a new face, our brains decide whether that person is attractive and trustworthy within one-tenth of a second.
Last week I was asked by Psychology today to study tapes of the speeches and interviews of the top presidential candidates over the next few weeks I will be posting to my blog the detailed notes I took as I read over 12 hours of tapes on the candidates. I wanted to start my discussion with a research study on the influence of body language on political choice - body language influence on Presidential voting.
Body language influences us in so many ways, but did you know it profoundly effects who is chosen as president of the United States. Researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research studied the effects of charisma on politics The study involved a group of Harvard undergraduates who were shown 10-second silent video clips of candidates in 58 gubernatorial elections between 1988 and 2000--candidates unfamiliar to the study participants. When asked who they thought had won the election the students were still able to choose the candidate who won 60% of the time. They didn’t know anything about the background of and more importantly never heard a word they said. Their choices where made purely on the basis of body language!
What explained this? "Shapiro was reluctant to call it charisma, although his colleague Danial J. Benjamin, a fellow at the University of Michigan...had no such qualms. He noted 'We found that snap decisions based on charisma are good predictors of election outcomes'."
How did they define Charisma? They used a definition from German sociologist Max Weber, who studied charisma, described it as a gift of power, leadership. They were looking at the body language seeing those strong power characteristics and saying that is the body language of a leader. In fact, According to US psychologist, Alex Todorov, people respond intuitively to faces so rapidly, that their reasoning minds may not have time to influence the reaction. The results of the newest research say that when we see a new face, our brains decide whether that person is attractive and trustworthy within one-tenth of a second.
Hilary Clinton Body Language
Representivtive Hilary Clinton steeples when she talks. This gesture is unusual for women to do. She takes her hands and clasps the fingers together so they are more open on the bottom and create a point or steeple on the top. Specifically she does what is called a low steeple or cannon, where she holds this point at her waist level or slightly above her waist level with the point out toward the audience. In everyday interaction a person using the low steeple has a strong differing opinion and wants to shoot “cannon” at you. For Hilary I believe she is taking the offensive when making controversial points.
She is showing signs of voice strain. If you know it is not from mike problems or for speaking too much, voice strain occurs when someone speaks to long or two loads in a low register to show authority in their voice and also when someone is aggressive pushing their points at their audience.
There were little personal ticks in the video I watched of her on you/tube were Hilary Clinton announces run for President. Particularly interesting was something she did in what you would assume was a well planned, and you would assume well rehearsed and coached speech. As she says makes the statement, “...and let’s definitely talk about how every American can have quality affordable health care. “ The statement is an affirmative positive statement,”American can have, but her head shakes back and forth in a no as she says “… every American can have..” rather than up and down. This is a subconscious "leakage" cue that signals she doesn’t believe that statement is true. In this same video she also presses her lips together to suppress or pull back from an angry grimace after she says, “George Bush.” This seemed like a planned little act rather than a natural catching of an inappropriately negative reference to the president. Her paralanguage and facial expressions shift from forced and false warmth to what seems more natural derision and sarcasm as she talks about Bush or the current administration.
One of the things that Hilary battles against as a female candidate is that men are uncomfortable around unsmiling women. Which explains why women typically smile more than men – Women maintain community by smiling and men maintain dominance when not smiling and when Hilary does not smile she is showing what many might read as inappropriate dominance.
Hilary Clinton Body Language
Representivtive Hilary Clinton steeples when she talks. This gesture is unusual for women to do. She takes her hands and clasps the fingers together so they are more open on the bottom and create a point or steeple on the top. Specifically she does what is called a low steeple or cannon, where she holds this point at her waist level or slightly above her waist level with the point out toward the audience. In everyday interaction a person using the low steeple has a strong differing opinion and wants to shoot “cannon” at you. For Hilary I believe she is taking the offensive when making controversial points.
She is showing signs of voice strain. If you know it is not from mike problems or for speaking too much, voice strain occurs when someone speaks to long or two loads in a low register to show authority in their voice and also when someone is aggressive pushing their points at their audience.
There were little personal ticks in the video I watched of her on you/tube were Hilary Clinton announces run for President. Particularly interesting was something she did in what you would assume was a well planned, and you would assume well rehearsed and coached speech. As she says makes the statement, “...and let’s definitely talk about how every American can have quality affordable health care. “ The statement is an affirmative positive statement,”American can have, but her head shakes back and forth in a no as she says “… every American can have..” rather than up and down. This is a subconscious "leakage" cue that signals she doesn’t believe that statement is true. In this same video she also presses her lips together to suppress or pull back from an angry grimace after she says, “George Bush.” This seemed like a planned little act rather than a natural catching of an inappropriately negative reference to the president. Her paralanguage and facial expressions shift from forced and false warmth to what seems more natural derision and sarcasm as she talks about Bush or the current administration.
One of the things that Hilary battles against as a female candidate is that men are uncomfortable around unsmiling women. Which explains why women typically smile more than men – Women maintain community by smiling and men maintain dominance when not smiling and when Hilary does not smile she is showing what many might read as inappropriate dominance.
She is showing signs of voice strain. If you know it is not from mike problems or for speaking too much, voice strain occurs when someone speaks to long or two loads in a low register to show authority in their voice and also when someone is aggressive pushing their points at their audience.
There were little personal ticks in the video I watched of her on you/tube were Hilary Clinton announces run for President. Particularly interesting was something she did in what you would assume was a well planned, and you would assume well rehearsed and coached speech. As she says makes the statement, “...and let’s definitely talk about how every American can have quality affordable health care. “ The statement is an affirmative positive statement,”American can have, but her head shakes back and forth in a no as she says “… every American can have..” rather than up and down. This is a subconscious "leakage" cue that signals she doesn’t believe that statement is true. In this same video she also presses her lips together to suppress or pull back from an angry grimace after she says, “George Bush.” This seemed like a planned little act rather than a natural catching of an inappropriately negative reference to the president. Her paralanguage and facial expressions shift from forced and false warmth to what seems more natural derision and sarcasm as she talks about Bush or the current administration.
One of the things that Hilary battles against as a female candidate is that men are uncomfortable around unsmiling women. Which explains why women typically smile more than men – Women maintain community by smiling and men maintain dominance when not smiling and when Hilary does not smile she is showing what many might read as inappropriate dominance.
Presidential Candidates...
While Hillary Clinton shook her head side to side no while making a positive statement once in speech, Mitt Romney does it often in interviews. He does it repeatedly in an interview with Hannity on Fox news. For example when saying, “ I don’t think people care a lot about which church you belong to he shook his head side to side indicating a no as he said, “I don’t think people care a lot…” When someone makes a positive definitive statement and shakes their head no it appears that they are lying. (This head shaking cue is one I taught in my interviews and interrogation techniques courses to law enforcement) So it looks like he actually believes they DO care a lot! He even does it on a video on his own website as he discusses what he believes. Like a twisted mouth shows your talking out of the side of your mouth this may be a habitual cue showing he is not sure what he believes.
He also like McCain in several of his interviews uses a “masking”, a tense fake smile to cover his displeasure at how the interview is going.
While many candidates, Giuliani, Clinton and Edwards use aggressive and powerful chopping motions as they speak Romney’s hands more often stay cupped and sweep out which makes him appear less definitive and aggressive and on the issues. He even does this in a video of his speech on topic he feels strongly about the Islamic Jihad.
He also like McCain in several of his interviews uses a “masking”, a tense fake smile to cover his displeasure at how the interview is going.
While many candidates, Giuliani, Clinton and Edwards use aggressive and powerful chopping motions as they speak Romney’s hands more often stay cupped and sweep out which makes him appear less definitive and aggressive and on the issues. He even does this in a video of his speech on topic he feels strongly about the Islamic Jihad.
Body Langauge - Obama and other interesting tidbits...
Here are some interesting body language comments from others:
Body language reveals the naked truth
By Allan Markin - Penticton Western News - February 28, 2008
We communicate with each other in many ways. I find our body language the most interesting, perhaps because our physical messages often occur without our realizing it.
Body language can tell us what a person is really like. I’ve been watching Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama campaign for the Democratic nomination to become the next U.S. president, sure to happen unless the Democrats foul things up as they have done in the past. Remember the fiasco a few years ago when their super delegates chose Walter Mondale?
Now that Obama has taken the lead and is enjoying a surging campaign, Hillary’s body language has been showing signs of desperation. She still smiles sweetly, like somebody’s mom. Then, eyes aglow with disdain and fury, she launches into vituperative attacks on Obama, looking and sounding like a stern mother scolding a son who stayed out past curfew time and came home drunk.
Indeed, where once she looked directly at Obama when he was speaking, suggesting that she had real interest in what he was saying, now she turns away, as if to convey the message that he’s not worth listening to. This body language indicates arrogance, disrespect and feigned self-confidence — messages that will not bolster a faltering campaign.
Someone should tell her that such behaviour is not presidential. True leadership means being magnanimous and rising above small-minded petulance. Obama, to his credit, has been measured and calm in his responses. His body language continues to convey quiet confidence and poise. He looks presidential, even now when the heat on him has been turned up and the scandal-mongering that plagues American politics has emerged from the political slime.
Sometimes body language makes me angry. Recently I watched Elmer Mckay, former MP and cabinet minister in Brian Mulroney’s government, testifying before the Commons Ethics Committee regarding the Mulroney-Schreiber affair. Mr. Mackay should be ashamed of his juvenile behaviour.
He slouched arrogantly in his chair like an unrepentant high school student in the principal’s office. He smirked. He played with his glasses. He shrugged. He smiled sweetly. His nonchalant attitude was quite disrespectful of the committee and its chair. I hope the affair becomes a full public inquiry when individuals like Mackay will be under oath and their arrogance won’t be allowed to slight the serious business of this country.
On the lighter side of things, let’s take a quick trip to Russia so I can share some of my observations of body language on Moscow streets. Beautiful young Russian women sure can walk. It’s worth the price of air fare just to watch them slide along the sidewalk, silky and stylish, like they were walking down the catwalk at a high-fashion house in Paris.
I have finally figured out what draws me to the body language of Russian women. Unlike North American women, who seem to prefer keeping their torso still during their peregrinations, when Russian women walk they lead with their pelvis, as if to declare to the whole world that Russian women don’t all look like tractors.
Body Language and the Democratic Debate by Dr Nick Morgan 2/1/08
What can the non-verbal communications from Senators Obama and Clinton tell us about the debate last night?
Overall, they performed well. They are two consummate professionals who waited respectfully while the other was talking, said their own bits with minimal fuss, and generally played nice. They were trying hard to get along, and mostly they did. Their non-verbal cues suggest that Obama is a big-picture thinker, impatient with details, and Clinton is a manager who loves to get down in the weeds of policy. Of course, their verbal messages say that too.
But there were a few revealing moments. When Senator Obama responded to the question about a "dream team" of the two of them as President and Veep, Senator Clinton listened hard, turning directly toward him for the first and only time that evening. When he refused to rule out the idea of the joint ticket, saying it was premature and presumptuous, she visibly relaxed, then moved toward him very slightly as he continued to answer.
Conclusion: the Clinton camp HAS thought about asking Obama to be the V-P, and it's still on the table. Depending, of course, on how things go. You heard it here first.
When the debate was finished, Obama stood up and helped Clinton with her chair. Depending on your perspective, this was either a) a nice, gentlemanly thing to do; b) a calculated, sexist put-down; or c)an unscripted attempt to take charge.
The only moment during the debate when Clinton showed real passion was on the immigration issue. She decried a Republican bill to criminalize any attempt to help an illegal alien in passionate terms: "That would have criminalized Jesus Christ and the Good Samaritan."
Conclusion: She's really hot about helping those less fortunate, and working through the system. She's a true product of her church and the system.
ELECTION TELLS (British) Date and Author Unknown
Politicians are getting more and more aware of the impact of how they say things rather than what they say. And we all respond more powerfully and subconsciously to body language than we realise. So where does that leave us when we have to make a decision about who's going to run the country for the next five years? That's right - confused. Do their policies and their personalities match up? Are we blinded to what they're really saying by how they're saying it? The truth about people's relationships and their thoughts is always evident in those actions that they can't control or which they don't know they're producing. Here's a handy guide to the election tells of the 3 main party leaders to help you decide when the wool is being pulled over your eyes!
Tony BlairTony is the consummate politician, difficult to fluster and smooth talking. But there are some interesting leaks and tells that he makes which reveal what he's really thinking.The mug shot - Tony likes to be seen holding a mug. It makes him look workmanlike, a man of the people.Finger puppet - When Tony is making a point emphatically he will often press his thumb onto his forefinger while talking. This is reflection of him symbolically taking control of an issue he's discussing. However, when he is anxious he will play with his little finger.Smile - In this election, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown can be seen frequently smiling and looking at each other while they are speaking. However, you can see from the way that Gordon bites his lip when Tony is challenged that he is secretly amused, trying to control a smile. You can also see when Gordon is speaking that Tony often has his mouth open, a sign that he would rather be doing the talking. Are they as united as they seem?
There are a bunch of House of Commons video clips of Blair at this site:
http://keeptonyblairforpm.wordpress.com/video-pmqs-prime-ministers-questions-house-of-commons/
Body language reveals the naked truth
By Allan Markin - Penticton Western News - February 28, 2008
We communicate with each other in many ways. I find our body language the most interesting, perhaps because our physical messages often occur without our realizing it.
Body language can tell us what a person is really like. I’ve been watching Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama campaign for the Democratic nomination to become the next U.S. president, sure to happen unless the Democrats foul things up as they have done in the past. Remember the fiasco a few years ago when their super delegates chose Walter Mondale?
Now that Obama has taken the lead and is enjoying a surging campaign, Hillary’s body language has been showing signs of desperation. She still smiles sweetly, like somebody’s mom. Then, eyes aglow with disdain and fury, she launches into vituperative attacks on Obama, looking and sounding like a stern mother scolding a son who stayed out past curfew time and came home drunk.
Indeed, where once she looked directly at Obama when he was speaking, suggesting that she had real interest in what he was saying, now she turns away, as if to convey the message that he’s not worth listening to. This body language indicates arrogance, disrespect and feigned self-confidence — messages that will not bolster a faltering campaign.
Someone should tell her that such behaviour is not presidential. True leadership means being magnanimous and rising above small-minded petulance. Obama, to his credit, has been measured and calm in his responses. His body language continues to convey quiet confidence and poise. He looks presidential, even now when the heat on him has been turned up and the scandal-mongering that plagues American politics has emerged from the political slime.
Sometimes body language makes me angry. Recently I watched Elmer Mckay, former MP and cabinet minister in Brian Mulroney’s government, testifying before the Commons Ethics Committee regarding the Mulroney-Schreiber affair. Mr. Mackay should be ashamed of his juvenile behaviour.
He slouched arrogantly in his chair like an unrepentant high school student in the principal’s office. He smirked. He played with his glasses. He shrugged. He smiled sweetly. His nonchalant attitude was quite disrespectful of the committee and its chair. I hope the affair becomes a full public inquiry when individuals like Mackay will be under oath and their arrogance won’t be allowed to slight the serious business of this country.
On the lighter side of things, let’s take a quick trip to Russia so I can share some of my observations of body language on Moscow streets. Beautiful young Russian women sure can walk. It’s worth the price of air fare just to watch them slide along the sidewalk, silky and stylish, like they were walking down the catwalk at a high-fashion house in Paris.
I have finally figured out what draws me to the body language of Russian women. Unlike North American women, who seem to prefer keeping their torso still during their peregrinations, when Russian women walk they lead with their pelvis, as if to declare to the whole world that Russian women don’t all look like tractors.
Body Language and the Democratic Debate by Dr Nick Morgan 2/1/08
What can the non-verbal communications from Senators Obama and Clinton tell us about the debate last night?
Overall, they performed well. They are two consummate professionals who waited respectfully while the other was talking, said their own bits with minimal fuss, and generally played nice. They were trying hard to get along, and mostly they did. Their non-verbal cues suggest that Obama is a big-picture thinker, impatient with details, and Clinton is a manager who loves to get down in the weeds of policy. Of course, their verbal messages say that too.
But there were a few revealing moments. When Senator Obama responded to the question about a "dream team" of the two of them as President and Veep, Senator Clinton listened hard, turning directly toward him for the first and only time that evening. When he refused to rule out the idea of the joint ticket, saying it was premature and presumptuous, she visibly relaxed, then moved toward him very slightly as he continued to answer.
Conclusion: the Clinton camp HAS thought about asking Obama to be the V-P, and it's still on the table. Depending, of course, on how things go. You heard it here first.
When the debate was finished, Obama stood up and helped Clinton with her chair. Depending on your perspective, this was either a) a nice, gentlemanly thing to do; b) a calculated, sexist put-down; or c)an unscripted attempt to take charge.
The only moment during the debate when Clinton showed real passion was on the immigration issue. She decried a Republican bill to criminalize any attempt to help an illegal alien in passionate terms: "That would have criminalized Jesus Christ and the Good Samaritan."
Conclusion: She's really hot about helping those less fortunate, and working through the system. She's a true product of her church and the system.
ELECTION TELLS (British) Date and Author Unknown
Politicians are getting more and more aware of the impact of how they say things rather than what they say. And we all respond more powerfully and subconsciously to body language than we realise. So where does that leave us when we have to make a decision about who's going to run the country for the next five years? That's right - confused. Do their policies and their personalities match up? Are we blinded to what they're really saying by how they're saying it? The truth about people's relationships and their thoughts is always evident in those actions that they can't control or which they don't know they're producing. Here's a handy guide to the election tells of the 3 main party leaders to help you decide when the wool is being pulled over your eyes!
Tony BlairTony is the consummate politician, difficult to fluster and smooth talking. But there are some interesting leaks and tells that he makes which reveal what he's really thinking.The mug shot - Tony likes to be seen holding a mug. It makes him look workmanlike, a man of the people.Finger puppet - When Tony is making a point emphatically he will often press his thumb onto his forefinger while talking. This is reflection of him symbolically taking control of an issue he's discussing. However, when he is anxious he will play with his little finger.Smile - In this election, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown can be seen frequently smiling and looking at each other while they are speaking. However, you can see from the way that Gordon bites his lip when Tony is challenged that he is secretly amused, trying to control a smile. You can also see when Gordon is speaking that Tony often has his mouth open, a sign that he would rather be doing the talking. Are they as united as they seem?
There are a bunch of House of Commons video clips of Blair at this site:
http://keeptonyblairforpm.wordpress.com/video-pmqs-prime-ministers-questions-house-of-commons/
Facial symmetry
Facial symmetry is attractive to us and when the face is animated we look for matching of the each side of the face that is what is going on the right side to match what is going on the left side and matching of the top and bottom of the face. The top of the face from the middle of the eyes up is under less conscious control so if we are looking at someone and the top of the face is doing one thing and the bottom another we may know they are laying or we may just feel uncomfortable.
You’re More Expressive Half
When most people smile or frown, the left half of their face (which is controlled by the right brain) is more emotionally expressive. If you were to cover up half of your face and look in the mirror, you would notice distinct emotional differences in expression. Research studies of people looking at photographs of faces show that when people expose more of their right cheek (the public face) they show less emotion. Exposing more of the left side of the face shows more emotion. When people speak or think emotionally, the eyes tend to dart to the left, and the left arm becomes more active. If someone says, "Let’s talk about it now," the right brain analyzes the paralanguage to determine whether talking about it now will be a fun or perhaps painful experience. And the left emotional side of the face shows it.
You’re More Expressive Half
When most people smile or frown, the left half of their face (which is controlled by the right brain) is more emotionally expressive. If you were to cover up half of your face and look in the mirror, you would notice distinct emotional differences in expression. Research studies of people looking at photographs of faces show that when people expose more of their right cheek (the public face) they show less emotion. Exposing more of the left side of the face shows more emotion. When people speak or think emotionally, the eyes tend to dart to the left, and the left arm becomes more active. If someone says, "Let’s talk about it now," the right brain analyzes the paralanguage to determine whether talking about it now will be a fun or perhaps painful experience. And the left emotional side of the face shows it.
Rudy Guiliani's Body Language
Rudy Giuliani on FOX news Hanity and Comes smiles and laughs more than the rest of candidates. He does this often after self deprecating statements. The smiles are sincere and laughter relaxed so this would seem to indicate that is comfortable with himself. Of all the presidential candidates I have analyzed his gestures are the most sincere. Watch him and notice that the gestures often come before the words. You may have read in my blog before the sincere feelings come first from the heart and then are shown in are body language and paralanguage and then with say the words that reflect them. The order is feel then show then say. When speaking and standing without a podium he clasps his hands together as he collects his thoughts and then opens them dramatically as the feeling bursts out then the words follow.
His mouth: He uses a mixture of smiling laughing and aggressive weapon like finger pointing when he doesn’t like what he has been asked or what an interviewer says. He is not able to pretend or hold in his emotions.
In two interviews he does a tongue thrust, (where the tongue comes out briefly from the mouth), showing his negative feelings as he talked about Washington administration. It was so interesting to see so many Democratic and Republican candidates showing their disrespect for the current administration with their nonverbal cues.
His mouth goes up on the left side of his face showing he is more emotional than rational in his feelings.
When someone expresses freely around the upper eye and forhead and those expressions “match” the lower part of the face hat we “read” them as being more honest. ( A good reason to be careful of getting botox injections)
Gulliani not only shows a lot of expressiveness in the upper eye and forehead the expressions are a match the rest of his face. Humm. Didn’t know till I read all these candidates that he was the most honest.
His mouth: He uses a mixture of smiling laughing and aggressive weapon like finger pointing when he doesn’t like what he has been asked or what an interviewer says. He is not able to pretend or hold in his emotions.
In two interviews he does a tongue thrust, (where the tongue comes out briefly from the mouth), showing his negative feelings as he talked about Washington administration. It was so interesting to see so many Democratic and Republican candidates showing their disrespect for the current administration with their nonverbal cues.
His mouth goes up on the left side of his face showing he is more emotional than rational in his feelings.
When someone expresses freely around the upper eye and forhead and those expressions “match” the lower part of the face hat we “read” them as being more honest. ( A good reason to be careful of getting botox injections)
Gulliani not only shows a lot of expressiveness in the upper eye and forehead the expressions are a match the rest of his face. Humm. Didn’t know till I read all these candidates that he was the most honest.
John Edwards Body Language
Overall John Edwards is an animated enthusiastic candidate and this combined with his attractiveness make him on the surface a charismatic and appealing candidate.
Nonverbally he quite literally talks out of the side of his mouth. Specifically he smiles and expresses more on the right side of his mouth. This side of the face is controlled by the more logical rational left hemisphere. This pulled up right side of the face is more permanent than Obamas. It shows Edwards is more comfortable being logical and more comfortable when he goes to planned talking points. Talking out of the side of the mouth is a nonverbal aspect I see in other politicians. When someone when we see the twist on the right side it makes it appear that the person is lying and when we see this as a habitual cue or a permanent facial aspect it appears that the person makes a habit of lying. Of course things like strokes can effect facial expression and may effect vice president Cheneys mouth twist.
John Edward eyes open wide and the eyebrows shoot up and his voice gets more animated when he goes to his planned talking points. He also does this unusual movement, he moves upward when he says his preplanned talking points. Specifically, His shoulders come up, his neck stretches up and his head all go up as he gets to a planned talking point.
Nonverbally he quite literally talks out of the side of his mouth. Specifically he smiles and expresses more on the right side of his mouth. This side of the face is controlled by the more logical rational left hemisphere. This pulled up right side of the face is more permanent than Obamas. It shows Edwards is more comfortable being logical and more comfortable when he goes to planned talking points. Talking out of the side of the mouth is a nonverbal aspect I see in other politicians. When someone when we see the twist on the right side it makes it appear that the person is lying and when we see this as a habitual cue or a permanent facial aspect it appears that the person makes a habit of lying. Of course things like strokes can effect facial expression and may effect vice president Cheneys mouth twist.
John Edward eyes open wide and the eyebrows shoot up and his voice gets more animated when he goes to his planned talking points. He also does this unusual movement, he moves upward when he says his preplanned talking points. Specifically, His shoulders come up, his neck stretches up and his head all go up as he gets to a planned talking point.
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