What Does Playing with a Wedding Ring Mean
If a person twists their wedding ring as they are talking to you it typically means they are attracted to you and they are aware of the bond they are under and have a desire to ignore that bond. If they move the ring up and down the finger it shows there desire not to just ignore but to remove that bond. Men and Woman can also make these movements in a conversation with people they aren’t attracted to merely because the conversation make them regret their bond of marriage.
Body Language and Wedding Rings
At the request of The Sun newspaper in Canada I made some comments about body language and wedding rings because Jennifer Lopez had sparked rumors about splitting with husband Marc Anthony, after she had been photographed at a red carpet event without her wedding ring.
Here are the notes I sent to the reporter answering her questions...
What does it mean when someone stops wearing his or her wedding ring. Does it always spell trouble? Why would any women do this? Is this a way to punish your spouse or send a message? What about men who don’t wear rings? Or is it just a trend and is of little significance?
After all, when Madonna stepped out minus the wedding band, the media speculated that her union was on the rocks - and they were right. What does it mean if you just switch the ring in favor of a splashy art deco ring just for the night - like Michelle Obama did?
Anytime a woman takes off her wedding ring it sends a powerful message. A wedding ring symbolizes your bond and union. A woman can do it as a passive aggressive message. Jennifer Lopez is symbolically saying something is wrong. Some women take off the ring for an event to say symbolically "I am my own person." Some take it off to say silently, “my husband broke our bond by being unfaithful.” Some women take off their wedding ring to say, “I am available again.” No matter what the reason, a woman not wearing a wedding ring is rarely just a fashion statement. In rare cases, not wearing a wedding ring may be necessary because the person has problems with his or her fingers swelling or the ring is lost, but a women caught without her ring will usually speak to those extenuating circumstances immediately. In J-Lo’s case I think the fact that she is not wearing her ring shows a message that there are problems. In Michelle’s case I believe it was to show that she is an independent, powerful woman on her own. Typically, women are socially rewarded for their relationships and men for their work and independence. Women start their sentences with "we" much more often than men. That gender difference is dramatic. When a man wears a ring he is saying, “I am proud of my bond.” When he takes it off he is saying, " I am open to other offers."
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!
The Washington Post described Patti as, "The Babe Ruth of Body Language." and the New York Times credited her with bringing the topic to national attention. A professional speaker, author and body language expert she reads the nonverbal cues of world leaders, celebrities, criminals, business leaders and the world at large. She has been interviewed on: The BBC, CNN, FOX news, PBS, The History Channel, E!, The Discovery Channel, US Weekly, USA Today, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan and many more. Time Magazine recognized her nonverbal communication course at Florida State University as a top college course in the US. Patti has been researching, writing and speaking on the topic since 1982. Her latest book is "Success Signals Understanding Body Language" and can be found at http://www.pattiwood.net/.
Here are the notes I sent to the reporter answering her questions...
What does it mean when someone stops wearing his or her wedding ring. Does it always spell trouble? Why would any women do this? Is this a way to punish your spouse or send a message? What about men who don’t wear rings? Or is it just a trend and is of little significance?
After all, when Madonna stepped out minus the wedding band, the media speculated that her union was on the rocks - and they were right. What does it mean if you just switch the ring in favor of a splashy art deco ring just for the night - like Michelle Obama did?
Anytime a woman takes off her wedding ring it sends a powerful message. A wedding ring symbolizes your bond and union. A woman can do it as a passive aggressive message. Jennifer Lopez is symbolically saying something is wrong. Some women take off the ring for an event to say symbolically "I am my own person." Some take it off to say silently, “my husband broke our bond by being unfaithful.” Some women take off their wedding ring to say, “I am available again.” No matter what the reason, a woman not wearing a wedding ring is rarely just a fashion statement. In rare cases, not wearing a wedding ring may be necessary because the person has problems with his or her fingers swelling or the ring is lost, but a women caught without her ring will usually speak to those extenuating circumstances immediately. In J-Lo’s case I think the fact that she is not wearing her ring shows a message that there are problems. In Michelle’s case I believe it was to show that she is an independent, powerful woman on her own. Typically, women are socially rewarded for their relationships and men for their work and independence. Women start their sentences with "we" much more often than men. That gender difference is dramatic. When a man wears a ring he is saying, “I am proud of my bond.” When he takes it off he is saying, " I am open to other offers."
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!
The Washington Post described Patti as, "The Babe Ruth of Body Language." and the New York Times credited her with bringing the topic to national attention. A professional speaker, author and body language expert she reads the nonverbal cues of world leaders, celebrities, criminals, business leaders and the world at large. She has been interviewed on: The BBC, CNN, FOX news, PBS, The History Channel, E!, The Discovery Channel, US Weekly, USA Today, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan and many more. Time Magazine recognized her nonverbal communication course at Florida State University as a top college course in the US. Patti has been researching, writing and speaking on the topic since 1982. Her latest book is "Success Signals Understanding Body Language" and can be found at http://www.pattiwood.net/.
How did you play as a child?
I have a question that I love to ask people at whenever I whenever I am with a small group say at a dinner party. I ask each person what was their favorite thing to do as a child between the ages of 6 and 10 and then I ask them what they do for living. I love how often people share how their childhood play became their adult work. A friend who took apart every electric thing in the house became and engineer, a friend that painted and drew became and artist, a friend who liked to figure out how things where made and how they could be made better became a six sigma process engineer, a friend who loved to read and write became and editor and writer for NASA.
I would love to know how you played and if your childhood play effected what you choose to do as an adult.
I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends on the porch of our house. I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest on the lawn. From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert and I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play with my audiences. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)
I would love to know how you played and if your childhood play effected what you choose to do as an adult.
I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends on the porch of our house. I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest on the lawn. From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert and I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play with my audiences. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)
Nonverbal Communication and phone calls
This week I got a phone call from my friend Michael who lives in Paris. I have know Michael since he was a 19 year old student in my body language course at Florida State. I hadn't heard his voice in about a year and it always goes straight to my heart. His voice is uniquely smokey and rough and after 15 years in Paris he has a French accent and cadence. But the most wonderful thing about his voice is that I can tell from one word that it is Michael and from one word I know I know I can feel safe and loved. That's pretty remarkable in the book, "The Human Voice, the author writes that a study in the US found that , for m just forty seconds of surgeon patient consultations from which the words had en filtered out leaving tone of voice alone, listeners could tell which doctors had been sued from malpractice and which hadn't. the degree of dominance or concern in the surgeons' voice was a giveaway." (Nlini Ambady.et al, "Surguen."
ons' Tone of Voice: a clue to Malpractice History'. surgery, 2002.132.)
I have written about voice before. Today I want to share that that unique voice print is a wondrous thing. The ability to hear one word over the phone and identify it is remarkable.
There is another part of the distinctive tremors and pitches of the voice. That is the ability to hear a single word and know what is going on with the person. How many times have you called someone and known from the first word out of their mouth that something was wrong?
ons' Tone of Voice: a clue to Malpractice History'. surgery, 2002.132.)
I have written about voice before. Today I want to share that that unique voice print is a wondrous thing. The ability to hear one word over the phone and identify it is remarkable.
There is another part of the distinctive tremors and pitches of the voice. That is the ability to hear a single word and know what is going on with the person. How many times have you called someone and known from the first word out of their mouth that something was wrong?
Y generation and the next gen recommendations
I was asked by career builder .com to give a real world comment on having a boss that is younger than you.
When your boss is younger than you, don’t say your favorite song is, “I Want You.” By Peter Frampton, or say you use to play his live album on your record player.
You will be met with a blank stare that tells your past is now part of the twilight zone of “old people talk.”
Former Boss on consulting project who was 22 and I was 46
Gen Y folks are disengaged. Do you agree?
There’s another e-word besides the economy that’s still the talk of Corporate America: engagement. As in the lack of, according to a recent study by BlessingWhite. Over 7500 respondents report that 25% of Gen Y folks in North America are disengaged. Good news: we beat China (33%), Southeast Asia (35%) and the UK with Ireland (at 30%). Why do you care? Because even in this economy, Gen Y’s will bolt when they are bored and organizations will pay to reduce turnover. Good news for generational experts who come up with internal strategies to plug into Gen Y’s passion.
I was asked by a media source for tips for things the upcoming generation needs to pay attention to and work on as they enter the workforce. I actually got a bit cynical in this piece so forgive me.
Having taught at the university level for many years I think young adults need to
1. Understand the basics of financial planning, saving, credit card debt protection and just organizing their lives for the future.
2. Use your great energy and enthusiasm to build your relationships and career. Don’t waste it being a complainer standing on soap box ranting. Instead of tearing down move to action, make changes and create the work life and personal life you want.
3. Relationship and job success don’t come easily. When you make a mistake apologize and don’t do it again. When someone else makes a mistake forgive them and make it easy for them to change. Don’t end a relationship because of one mistake.
4. Learn to speak comfortably in face to face conversation. Human interaction requires and understanding of body language cues to read others and that you give out cues and show your positive and negative emotions. Read a good body language book, (Success Signals by Patti Wood)model the body language of good hearted people that you admire. Go online and study the proper etiquette for eating, parties, and gift giving then memorize them and use them.
5. Understand and be comfortable with conflict. Know how to have a productive though difficult conversation. Realize it is inappropriate to email or text a criticism or slam and it beyond rude to end a relationship, business or personal via text, email or voice mail or on a phone call. If you have done so in the past, let it go and don’t ever do it again. “Everybody else does it.” is not a good excuse.
6. Understand that you can’t fast forward, hit the mute button, or hit save on a relationship. Real people need human interaction and nurturing and are not easily replaced just by hitting delete and
adding someone else to your face book.
7. Be respectful of your elders. That, “old foggy” in tech support may not know all you know about technology, but he or she may know a lot about life. Respect them, rather than treat them with condescension.
8. Keep up to date with where the business world is going and keep your skills current and be above be flexible. That is something my generation is having a hard time with. I know we may learn a lot about it from you.
Patti Wood, MA, CSPThe Body Language Expert
When your boss is younger than you, don’t say your favorite song is, “I Want You.” By Peter Frampton, or say you use to play his live album on your record player.
You will be met with a blank stare that tells your past is now part of the twilight zone of “old people talk.”
Former Boss on consulting project who was 22 and I was 46
Gen Y folks are disengaged. Do you agree?
There’s another e-word besides the economy that’s still the talk of Corporate America: engagement. As in the lack of, according to a recent study by BlessingWhite. Over 7500 respondents report that 25% of Gen Y folks in North America are disengaged. Good news: we beat China (33%), Southeast Asia (35%) and the UK with Ireland (at 30%). Why do you care? Because even in this economy, Gen Y’s will bolt when they are bored and organizations will pay to reduce turnover. Good news for generational experts who come up with internal strategies to plug into Gen Y’s passion.
I was asked by a media source for tips for things the upcoming generation needs to pay attention to and work on as they enter the workforce. I actually got a bit cynical in this piece so forgive me.
Having taught at the university level for many years I think young adults need to
1. Understand the basics of financial planning, saving, credit card debt protection and just organizing their lives for the future.
2. Use your great energy and enthusiasm to build your relationships and career. Don’t waste it being a complainer standing on soap box ranting. Instead of tearing down move to action, make changes and create the work life and personal life you want.
3. Relationship and job success don’t come easily. When you make a mistake apologize and don’t do it again. When someone else makes a mistake forgive them and make it easy for them to change. Don’t end a relationship because of one mistake.
4. Learn to speak comfortably in face to face conversation. Human interaction requires and understanding of body language cues to read others and that you give out cues and show your positive and negative emotions. Read a good body language book, (Success Signals by Patti Wood)model the body language of good hearted people that you admire. Go online and study the proper etiquette for eating, parties, and gift giving then memorize them and use them.
5. Understand and be comfortable with conflict. Know how to have a productive though difficult conversation. Realize it is inappropriate to email or text a criticism or slam and it beyond rude to end a relationship, business or personal via text, email or voice mail or on a phone call. If you have done so in the past, let it go and don’t ever do it again. “Everybody else does it.” is not a good excuse.
6. Understand that you can’t fast forward, hit the mute button, or hit save on a relationship. Real people need human interaction and nurturing and are not easily replaced just by hitting delete and
adding someone else to your face book.
7. Be respectful of your elders. That, “old foggy” in tech support may not know all you know about technology, but he or she may know a lot about life. Respect them, rather than treat them with condescension.
8. Keep up to date with where the business world is going and keep your skills current and be above be flexible. That is something my generation is having a hard time with. I know we may learn a lot about it from you.
Patti Wood, MA, CSPThe Body Language Expert
More on the body language at the Obama presidential inaguration
The most remarkable aspect of the Obama's body language at the presidential inauguration was the lack of reaction to the enormous crowds on the mall. I know he was trying to be presidential I watched him take on the mantel of seriousness and change his facial expression to a down turned mouth as he came out for his swearing in, but why not react at all? Why make the entire speech so practiced and rehearsed that he couldn't even have one spontaneous smile or wide open eyes and raised eyebrows in awe at all the people who have put their trust in him? Why not reach out his hands or look directly out at them one time as he spoke?
What do you think?
Check out my other posts on the inaguration and Obama.
on the blog or my website www. PattiWood.net
What do you think?
Check out my other posts on the inaguration and Obama.
on the blog or my website www. PattiWood.net
Inauguration Body Language Reads Continued...
I watched the Inauguration today for a body language read on Obama's presidential inauguration ceremony today.
Coming out of the white house to go the inauguration the "still president" Bush stepped behind Obama going down the stairs and then put his arm around and guided Obama down the stairs. This was particular interesting as I did a body language read of their first meeting after Obama was elected, for the New York Daily news, and in those photo stills Obama had his arm around Bush guiding him. This was Bush's last chance to look like the leader! Interesting, especially when you learn that Bush said something to the effect of, "Your on your own, go to your people for guidance" When Obama told Bush he was going to go to him for advice during his new presidency. Oddly this is what Bush senior said to Bush junior when Bush junior became president.
When Bush senior came down the steps he looked unusually ebullient. It was clear from his large smile and eye contact with the crowd of photographers that he was happy to be back in the limelight. You might have missed it but there was an odd moment that showed just how oddly happy Bush senior was as he came down the stairs he reached over and patted the rear end of one of the guards!
Former president Bill Clinton had his own "emotional moment" as he was entering the inauguration. When he was in the darkened hallway just before coming down the stairs his eyes wrinkled down and his mouth twisted back and down intensely as he held him his sadness. Then as he came out into the light and the crowd he lit up with his 'game face" with his great big charming smile and raised eyebrows. Hilary Clinton was calm her facial expression showed true power and pleasure. An interesting combination. I really admired that strength.
Soon to be president Obama's daughters came down the hallway and down the stairs walking several steps ahead of their grandmother, neither looking at her for comfort, support, or even acknowledging her. There posture was erect and lady like and very at ease. They seemed confident until it came to their seats. Then the youngest daughter sat down and had trouble with the blue blanket that was provided and then realized she should be standing. They kept looking at the immense crowds on the Mall. They where the only people filmed that seemed to acknowledge the incredible crowds.
When Obama came down the hallway you saw his face change from smile to a rather affected serious face. In fact I saw him put on the serious face and force it their. Odd that he chose to be serious instead of joyous throughout the inauguration.
Coming out of the white house to go the inauguration the "still president" Bush stepped behind Obama going down the stairs and then put his arm around and guided Obama down the stairs. This was particular interesting as I did a body language read of their first meeting after Obama was elected, for the New York Daily news, and in those photo stills Obama had his arm around Bush guiding him. This was Bush's last chance to look like the leader! Interesting, especially when you learn that Bush said something to the effect of, "Your on your own, go to your people for guidance" When Obama told Bush he was going to go to him for advice during his new presidency. Oddly this is what Bush senior said to Bush junior when Bush junior became president.
When Bush senior came down the steps he looked unusually ebullient. It was clear from his large smile and eye contact with the crowd of photographers that he was happy to be back in the limelight. You might have missed it but there was an odd moment that showed just how oddly happy Bush senior was as he came down the stairs he reached over and patted the rear end of one of the guards!
Former president Bill Clinton had his own "emotional moment" as he was entering the inauguration. When he was in the darkened hallway just before coming down the stairs his eyes wrinkled down and his mouth twisted back and down intensely as he held him his sadness. Then as he came out into the light and the crowd he lit up with his 'game face" with his great big charming smile and raised eyebrows. Hilary Clinton was calm her facial expression showed true power and pleasure. An interesting combination. I really admired that strength.
Soon to be president Obama's daughters came down the hallway and down the stairs walking several steps ahead of their grandmother, neither looking at her for comfort, support, or even acknowledging her. There posture was erect and lady like and very at ease. They seemed confident until it came to their seats. Then the youngest daughter sat down and had trouble with the blue blanket that was provided and then realized she should be standing. They kept looking at the immense crowds on the Mall. They where the only people filmed that seemed to acknowledge the incredible crowds.
When Obama came down the hallway you saw his face change from smile to a rather affected serious face. In fact I saw him put on the serious face and force it their. Odd that he chose to be serious instead of joyous throughout the inauguration.
More on the body lanuguage reads of inauguration...
I watched the Inaguration today for a body language read on Obama's presidential ingaguration ceremony today.
Coming out of the white house to go the inaguration the "still president" steped behind Obama going down the stairs and then put his arm around him and guided Obama down the stairs. This was particular interesting as I did a body language read of their first meeting after Obama was elected for the New York Daily news and in those photo stills Obama had his arm around Bush guiding him. This was Bush's last chance to look like the leader! Interesting, especially when you learn that Bush said something to the effect of, "Your on your own, go to your people for guidance" When Obama told Bush he was going to go to him for advice durring his new presidency. Oddly this is what Bush senior said to Bush junior when Bush junior became president.
When Bush senior came down the steps he looked unusally ebulent. It was clear from his large smile and eye contact with the crowd of photographers that he was happy to be back in the limelight. You might have missed it but there was an odd moment that showed just how oddly happy Bush senior was> Asa he came down the stairs he reached over and patted the rear end of one of the guards!
Former president Bill Clinton had his own "emotional moment" as he was entering the inaguration. When he was in the darkened hallway just before comming down the stairs his eyes wrinkeled down and his mouth twisted back and down intensely as he held him his sadness. Then as he came out into the light and the crowd he lit up with his 'game face" with his great big charming smile and raised eyebrows. Hilary Clinton was calm her facial expression showed true power and pleasure. An interesting cobination. I really admired that strength.
Soon to be president Obama's daughters came down the hallway and down the stairs walking several steps ahead of their grandmother, niether looking at her for comfort, support, or even aknowleding her. There posture was errect and lady like and very at ease. They seemed confindent untill it came to their seats. Then the youngest daughter sat down and had trouble with the blue blanket that was provided and then realized she should be standing. They kept looking at the imense crowds on the Mall. They where the only people filmed that seemed to aknowledge the incrediable crowds.
When Obama came down the hallway you saw his face change from smile to a rather affected serious face. In fact I saw him put on the serious face and force it their. Odd that he chose to be serious instead of joyess throuout the inaguration. More tonight or tommrrow
Obama's Inauguration and Body Language
Here are my first thoughts of Obama's Body Language today... I think that the 13 minutes late to the church communicates his sense of importance. His smile was large and genuine. More body language reads to come...
Embracing Femininity at Work As Featured in GlassHammer.com
Do you think women should embrace their feminity at work?
Read this article where Patti is Quoted: http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=8244
And I invite you to come back and post your thoughts, questions and comments here!
Read this article where Patti is Quoted: http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=8244
And I invite you to come back and post your thoughts, questions and comments here!
That’s so rude!
There are times when someone’s nonverbal communication is so unbelievably rude you wonder if the person is clueless or just visiting from another planet. I rarely rant in my blog but after being interviewed recently for my nonverbal stories on techie rudeness I wanted to share some stories.
I was sitting in a packed plane that was delayed on the ground for an hour. The guy sitting next to me was talking on his cell phone, quite loudly with his one night stand from the night before; about all the things they did...everything...in detail for over and hour. No request from me could make him stop he just got louder. Everyone around him was squirming as he kept talking using very explicit language and repeating the phrase, “You where so drunk last night.”
I am a professional speaker and set ground rules in my programs so people respect everyone in the audience and don't use their cell phones, type, twitter or do "hip checks" on the blackberry’s. I do that because I know how frustrating it feels to be an audience member when a fellow participant is being rude. At one convention a few years ago I stayed to here the next speaker. A guy in one of the front rows cell phone rang and he took the call and started talking got up walked down the center isle to the last row and paced the back of the room talking loudly on his cell phone. It’s as if the other 100 audience members where not there. AHHGGGG!
What are your “That’s so rude!” stories?
I was sitting in a packed plane that was delayed on the ground for an hour. The guy sitting next to me was talking on his cell phone, quite loudly with his one night stand from the night before; about all the things they did...everything...in detail for over and hour. No request from me could make him stop he just got louder. Everyone around him was squirming as he kept talking using very explicit language and repeating the phrase, “You where so drunk last night.”
I am a professional speaker and set ground rules in my programs so people respect everyone in the audience and don't use their cell phones, type, twitter or do "hip checks" on the blackberry’s. I do that because I know how frustrating it feels to be an audience member when a fellow participant is being rude. At one convention a few years ago I stayed to here the next speaker. A guy in one of the front rows cell phone rang and he took the call and started talking got up walked down the center isle to the last row and paced the back of the room talking loudly on his cell phone. It’s as if the other 100 audience members where not there. AHHGGGG!
What are your “That’s so rude!” stories?
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