Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog : 12/01/2012

Some Humor for the Holidays

Funny Christmas Card Quotes

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. - Larry Wilde

Decorate your homes with lots of mistletoe... this won't really help the environment... But more kissing has got to be good for world peace. - Arlo Guthrie

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven. - W. C. Fields

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. - Anonymous

“Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... " - Berke Breathed

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? - Tom Armstrong

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. - Victor Borge

You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. - Robert Paul

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. - Dave Barry

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. - Jay Leno

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should! - Charles Dickens, in A Christmas Carol

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. - Joan Rivers

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. - Anonymous

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to make your body language work for you during an interview

Patti was interviewed by Miriam Salpeter of US News on, "How to make your body language work for you during an interview." Check the link below!

http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2012/12/12/make-your-body-language-work-for-you-during-an-interview

You’ve been practicing what to say at an interview, but have you considered what signals your body language is sending? (The Merrabian research I think you wanted to quote here Is not actually valid. Perhaps better to say it has 4.3 times the impact than words alone) Research suggests ____ percent of communication isn’t transmitted via our words, but is broadcast through our actions and attitude.

Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, suggests the following tips from the book to help you wow your interviewer:

Palm-to-Palm Contact Is Key. Wood explains, “My research is the US and Canada suggests that palm contact is more important than how firm your grip is…If someone shakes hands with you and gives you just her fingers and not her full palm, at a subconscious level you may think, ‘What is she hiding? What is she keeping from me?” Evaluate the all-important handshake and worry less about if you have a firm enough grip and more about extending your entire hand and palm when you greet someone.

How to Sit. Don’t make yourself smaller in stature. Appear brave by keeping your body open. Wood notes, “Keep your arms open and away from your body, legs uncrossed, and shoulders back.” Take note of how you sit. Wood explains, “Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of the seat, curved forward, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. Perching the entire time makes you look less powerful. Vary your position, use lots of space, and occasionally place your arms on the armrest to look confident.” When you position yourself effectively, you’ll appear confident, vital, and energetic.

Show Your Hands. Showing your hands helps you appear open, honest and approachable, so Wood notes, “Don’t hide your hands under the table or in your pockets or tuck them away. Keep your hands open and in view on the table or the arms of the chair.” She explains, “Gesture normally. Your hands show your emotional state. When you close your hand, the amount of tightness and the way the fingers curve show how you feel about the topic. In an interview, you want to be open, not closed.”

Match and Mirror. Research shows that people hire people who are like them. Use body language to help convince your interviewer that you are a good fit. Wood suggests you “match and mirror your interviewer enough briefly at the very beginning of the interview to make him comfortable with you. For example, lean slightly in the direction he is leaning, for instance, or match his smile with one of your own.”

Get Grounded. When the going get tough, the tough get grounded. Wood explains, “When people are nervous, they tend to either move a lot or freeze. To overcome the toughest interview questions, put both feet firmly on the ground. This makes it easier to use both hemispheres of the brain— the rational and the creative-emotional. Or, if you feel yourself freeze, move your feet in some way.”

End Well. While first impressions are important, people will also remember the last thing you do or say. Wood suggests, “The last impression, the recencey effect is critical and can improve a bad first impression” As the conversation winds down, make sure your belongings are on the left side of your body so you can easily shake with your right hand. You may shake hands more than once — when you get up, at the door, and after talking for a bit longer while parting.” Even if the interview didn’t go as well as you might have liked, keep focused and poised until the end and you may be able to improve the impression you leave.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Patti on Nancy Grace at 8 pm ET December 11, 2012 Analyzing the Body Language of Valedictorian Jeffrey Pyne Accused of Killing Mother

Patti on YouTube Channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6CscjPhzMk&list=UUNDJOcYly1uLU5dxr9JFkpQ

Check the link below to view the interrogation and then watch tonight at 8 pm ET for Patti's insights!
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/valedictorian-jeffrey-pyne-accused-killing-mother-interrogation-tape-17836313

*mom blames dad*

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (Dad & Mom Relationship) 08927115

oc: supposed to be

trt: 1:10

14:39:28 Police: What kind of relationship did your dad have with your mom?" -- Pyne He was really working to make it better, getting her flowers and stuff he was really trying to fix things between the two of them because she was really mad at him for everything that's happened with medication; 14:39:54 she blames him for trying to take me and Julia away from her. You've got to understand: 14:40:09 she was manic and crazy she once thought that he was this bad guy who was trying to ruin her life and take her kids away from her 14:40:23 and once she got on the medication, she was better again. 14:40:28 And he was really trying to make her like him again, make the relationship like it's supposed to be" 14:40:38

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (MANIC/HITTING ME) 08927097

oc: she wasn't herself

trt: 54

13:15:40 (I understand there were an issue of some sort of fight between the 2 of you? Did she ever get arrested awhile back?) yeah that was back last summer, she was not on her medication, was very, very manic . . . 13:16:01 it was early in the morning; I heard my parents yelling back and forth and it woke me up and I walked into their room at the door was opened and they were just screaming at each other... 13:16:20 and she came at me, launched out of the bed and grabbed me by the throat, started hitting me and stuff -- "but she didn't hurt me or anything; she was just manic..she wasn't herself. 13:16:34

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (ON THE EDGE) 08927125

oc: little bit paranoid

trt: 1:07

14:40:42 Police: Was there ever a time where you felt because of her condition she was damaging the family?" -- Pyne: 14:40:58 No, it was tough when she would go manic and everything, but all we ever wanted was to get her on medication, but we finally got her on, and she was taking it she would come to my dad and show him, im taking my pills every night so 14:41:34 Police Did she seem like she was agitated, or on edge this week or last couple of weeks?" Pyne maybe the last few days, but we just attributed that to the medication switch, kind of a little on edge, a little bit paranoid. 14:41:48

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (MEDICATION) 08927101

oc: better she gets

trt: 41

13:17:26 (And you said she's been on medication?) Yes. (Do you know what kind of medication?) She was on Depakote . . . the doctor wanted it to switch it to I don't know what the new name stuff was. apparantly it doesn't have any side effects. So that's why he was switching it. 13:17:44 ("how long ago did she switch medications?") -- "just recently; I believe it was in the past week. (And things were starting to get better?) "things have been getting better for a long time; week by week the longer she's on the medication, the better she gets 13:18:05

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (GIRLFRIEND) 08927103

oc: little bit uneasy

trt: 39

13:21:02 ("you have a girlfriend?") "yes, (waht's her name) Holly. 13:21:05 // 13:21:35 (have she (gf) been in your house before?) yes ("when was the last time she was at your house?) probably last summer . . . I usually go to her house . . . because obviously she knows about my mom's condition . . . she didn't really feel comfortable coming all the time...so I usually go over there. 13:21:59 (Did she get along with your mother, or just uncomfortable) fine, she knows she gets crazy that kind of makes her a little bit uneasy 13:22:09

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (MANIC/CRAZY/HYPER) 08927099

oc: over the place

trt: 44

13:16:36 (How long as she had issues?) well, It first started back when I was seven; she was more depressed back then and bipolar you are depressed and manic..she was more depressed at that time for a few years than my sister was born in 2000, and she was good until about 2008. 13:17:05 Right after I graduated from high school and she went manic she wasn't depressed any more she just got crazy, she was hyper, and just all over the place" 13:17:18

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (SCRATCHES FOREARM) 08927091

oc: okay...good.

trt: 1:10

13:36:30 "are those scratches on your forearm?" -- "yes, I get scratched up a lot at work . . . a goat got out of a pen at work, and we had to catch him" we have a petting farm. -- "what's this on your pants?" -- "paint" -- "what were you painting?" - "that was back from winter/spring; we were painting a new feeder at work" -- please don't get offended...we got to look at all this stuff. No i understand...I need to stand up and lift your shirt up, to make sure you don't have any injuries on your stomach or back or anything like that" -- HE STANDS, AND TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT 13:37:36

****denies involvement, cries****

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (DID YOU HURT MOM) 08927109

oc: hard enough time

trt: :37

14:44:44 did you do anything at all today to hurt your mom?" -- "no, no . . . (in any way shape or form) nothing . (did you haev any arguments with your mom) no I didn't say anything hurtful to her; I did nothing 14:44:57 . I have no idea who would" -- "I can't even . . . " 14:45:12 HE PUTS HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS, AND STARTS CRYING -- 14:45:17 "I'm having a hard enough time . . ." -- " 14:45:20

**when he is in room alone**

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (WHAT THE F*CK) 08927189

oc: going on (double out)trt: :11

13:46:26 "oh, God, what the FUCK is going on?"

13:47:25 "what the FUCK is going on?"

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (TAKES OFF BANDAGES) 08927155

oc: off quick, so

trt: :45

13:57:09 Police: Jeff Can you take the bandages off your hands for us? . . .Pyne: Sure //

DEFENDANT REMOVES HIS BANDAGES, AND HIS HANDS ARE THEN PHOTOGRAPHED

13:58:09 (let me see those for a second...Describe to me what took place on that pallet)13:18:21 . . . it was just laying on the ground flat and i picked it up like this I used my foot to give it a boost to kick up a stack of pallets and my hand just kind of got stuck in there" (HE DEMONSTRATES) and i caught it and i just kind of shoved it back on there and it stung really bad. i pulled my hands off quick, so. 13:58:44

***puts hand on head***

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (CHRISTIAN SCHOOL) 08927105

oc: I don't know

trt: :57

13:39:30 ("is there anything else you can think of . . . is there anybody who might want to do something like this?") -- "I don't know anybody who's violent, really . . . I went to a Christian school; I was friends with a bunch of nice kids" 13:40:00 (the problem we have is that your mom is a stay-at-home mom from the information we gathered she doesn't have a bunch of friends..she doesn't have any enemies why would somebody pick your home, in a very short time period, and harm your mom?") -- "I don't know" 13:40:25

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (HARM YOUR MOTHER) 08927087

oc: know of anyone

trt: :53

13:32:52 did your mom have any enemies?" - "not really . . she didn't really have any friends, so that kind of eliminated her having any enemies, if that makes sense" -- 13:33:06 "is there anybody you can think of that would want to harm your mother?" or anybody out there you who want to harm your mother -- "I can't . . .she's always been a really nice lady . . . I don't know; I don't know of anyone" -- 13:33:43

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (PALLET/SKIN TAG) 08927113

oc: in the slots, okay

trt: 1:22

15:26:39 "when you pulled your hand back from that pallet, was that skin gone?" -- "there was a lot of skin gone ,and then there was some skin tags" -- "it was this broken pallet right here, on top?" -- "yeah" -- " 15:27:07here was your hands at on the pallet? wehn you injured your hands. i just grabbed one of the slots in there, and just picked it up. (laying flat?) it was laying on the ground" "that just doesn't seem like a very normal place to grab that pallet?" -- 15:27:40 "I tipped it up on its side . . . this part, I had flat on the ground coming up -- "then I picked it up to throw it back up" -- "I put my hand in the slots" in the slots, okay 15:28:00

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (Last Person/Broken Pallet) 08927117

oc: it being broken

trt: :25

15:28:13 "let's face it, you were the last person that we know that saw your mom alive nobody is accusing you of anything we've got to go over everything in detail . . . i understand... that was the pallet for sure?" -- "yeah, because I remember it being broken" 15:28:38

Jeffrey Pyne Interrogation (GROCERY SHOPPING) 08927081

oc: were leaving? yeah

trt: 1:09

13:14:12 My mom went to do grocery shopping when she got back I helped her unload the car and we put the groceries away. -- "she went upstairs to lay down, and I was just chilling, waiting to go to work and decided to go over and take care of some stuff for Mrs. Needham, because I was kind of bored and I was itching for something to do" 13:14:42 (your mom was lying down where?) she goes up her room. 13:14:44 // 13:19:08 (was it right away after she put the groceries away or what did she do before she put the groceries away?) she was in the living room; I think she was reading" -- "and then I know she went upstairs to lay down; when I left, that's where she was. 13:19:29 (Was there any issue was she upset about anything everything ok when you left?) . . . everything was fine. 13:19:37 (Did she know you were leaving, did you tell her you were leaving?) yeah. 13:19:42

How to Make Your Body Language Work for You During an Interview

Below is a recent interview with US News in which Patti shares her interview tips from her recent book, SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma.

How to make your body language work for you during an interview

By: Miriam Salpeter

Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, suggests the following tips from the book to help you wow your interviewer:

Palm-to-Palm Contact Is Key - Wood explains, “My research is the US and Canada suggests that palm contact is more important than how firm your grip is…If someone shakes hands with you and gives you just her fingers and not her full palm, at a subconscious level you may think, ‘What is she hiding? What is she keeping from me?” Evaluate the all-important handshake and worry less about if you have a firm enough grip and more about extending your entire hand and palm when you greet someone.

How to Sit - Don’t make yourself smaller in stature. Appear brave by keeping your body open. Wood notes, “Keep your arms open and away from your body, legs uncrossed, and shoulders back.” Take note of how you sit. Wood explains, “Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of the seat, curved forward, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. Perching the entire time makes you look less powerful. Vary your position, use lots of space, and occasionally place your arms on the armrest to look confident.” When you position yourself effectively, you’ll appear confident, vital, and energetic.

Show Your Hands - Showing your hands helps you appear open, honest and approachable, so Wood notes, “Don’t hide your hands under the table or in your pockets or tuck them away. Keep your hands open and in view on the table or the arms of the chair.” She explains, “Gesture normally. Your hands show your emotional state. When you close your hand, the amount of tightness and the way the fingers curve show how you feel about the topic. In an interview, you want to be open, not closed.”

Match and Mirror - Research shows that people hire people who are like them. Use body language to help convince your interviewer that you are a good fit. Wood suggests you “match and mirror your interviewer enough briefly at the very beginning of the interview to make him comfortable with you. For example, lean slightly in the direction he is leaning, for instance, or match his smile with one of your own.”

Get Grounded - When the going get tough, the tough get grounded. Wood explains, “When people are nervous, they tend to either move a lot or freeze. To overcome the toughest interview questions, put both feet firmly on the ground. This makes it easier to use both hemispheres of the brain— the rational and the creative-emotional. Or, if you feel yourself freeze, move your feet in some way.”

End Well - While first impressions are important, people will also remember the last thing you do or say. Wood suggests, “The last impression, the recencey effect is critical and can improve a bad first impression” As the conversation winds down, make sure your belongings are on the left side of your body so you can easily shake with your right hand. You may shake hands more than once — when you get up, at the door, and after talking for a bit longer while parting.” Even if the interview didn’t go as well as you might have liked, keep focused and poised until the end and you may be able to improve the impression you leave.

What Do Body Language Cues Mean?

Patti was interviewed by Grandparents.com to get an expert's advice on what body language cues mean. Check the link below to find out what your family and friends are really saying with their body language!

http://grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/family-matters/reading-body-language

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

7 Signals Your Boss Hates You

7 Signals Your Boss Hates You
Body Language Cues of Dislike, Disrespect and Disgust

Body cues speak volumes, according to Patti Wood, body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma.

Cues of dislike:

No mirroring of voice and body language. “When we like someone, we match and mirror there voice, tone, tempo and speaking rate…” and body movements too, says Wood, of snapfirstimpressions.com.
Neutral facial expression: No empathy or interest expressed in what you’re saying, “We often express interest through raised eye brows and smiles. Or facial expressions that appear to show the opposite emotional reaction to what you are saying.”
Eye rolling: A sign of contempt and disrespect for others.
Wrinkling of the nose: Indicates that something doesn’t smell right and can be an indication of disrespect.
Puts up barriers, for example, touches cell phone or sips out of coffee cup. “It says symbolically this object is more important than you are, it is what I want to touch and interact with,” says Wood.

There are also gender specific cues

For a male boss. He stands facing you when giving you directions and sharing information: Standing side to side rather than face to face signifies that a man trusts you and is comfortable with you.
For a female boss. She doesn’t face towards you when you are speaking. Women face you to show they respect you and want to hear you. If she doesn’t like you, she may aim her body away from you, closes her hands and arms over her heart.

No cure for Paris- attention grabbers

"Though I often looked for one, I finally had to admit that there could be no cure for Paris." Part of it was the way. The world had ended once already and could again at any moment." This is the first line of the book, "The Paris Wife." a novel written from the perspective of Hemingway's first wife. It was an interesting story, that gives you an insight into the life of a partner of sometimes abusive and often passionate and drunk husband. Reread the opening sentence, as it this first line is a great example of a attention grabber opening. I certainly agree with the lines sentiments as well. If you have spent time in a outdoor cafe in Paris after a fine meal or a good cup of coffee you return home aching to re experience the magic of Paris.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

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