Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog : 01/01/2015

Body Language of World Leaders, Spys and Terrorists

Below is a great article on the body language of world leaders, spys and terrorists called the body language of James Bond. They quoted three people in the my field that I respect, I just wish they had quoted me!

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to Say, “I Love You” With Your Greetings and Goodbyes

I am a professional speaker so I fly just about every week. After working out of town and flying hours in a cramped plane I arrive in Atlanta, a weary traveler. Then I have a long walk and train ride. Every week on this journey I am surrounded by a sea of sad and exhausted travelers, all wearing what I call “Friday Faces,” the tired look of someone who has worked and traveled all week and is just barely hanging on until the weekend. In fact, sometimes I look at the travelers around me and they look like they are soldiers who have been in battle and they are coming home from war.

When we reach the top of the escalator, something magical happens. There is a sea of loved ones, holding, “I love you” signs and carrying roses, ready to touch and hold us and transform our Friday Faces, to faces full of love. We are greeted with love and the greeting transforms us and bonds us with our loved ones.

In one study done at airports, 60% of people engaged in touching when greeting or saying goodbye to another person. And other studies show that we linger and give more touch as we say goodbye in any interaction.

I believe we should greet our loved ones every day as if they have come home from battle. We should hold them, touch them, kiss them and give them our love and undivided attention.

Greetings Home

Every evening when my father came through the door from work, he would give a high two note whistle to signal he was home and my mother, my teenage sisters and I would come running to greet him. It didn’t matter what we were doing. My mother’s cake batter could be stirred later, my sister’s records could be listened to later and my Malibu Barbie could wait to go out in the convertible with Ken. Daddy was our priority and we would run to him, sharing hugs and kisses with each other, with me being grabbed in his arms and thrown in the air. We would have a few minutes of love and laughter. I was fortunate that my parents were so demonstrative. Message: Greetings are an important ritual for family bonding and bonding in general. Always make a loving ritual of hellos and goodbyes.

No matter where you are in the house, drop whatever you’re doing, and greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, working, or cooking, this communicates that he or she is the most important thing to you. If you are with other family members, bring them with you to greet your sweetie. Get them excited. If you have small kids and they run to greet your sweetie, go with THEM.

Each time you greet with your time, your speed of reaction, your eye contact, your presence and your touch, you are saying nonverbally, “You come first.” A warm welcome actually decreases the chance of stress, conflict and arguing later on. This can reduce conflict in your home as well. In a research study where teachers and principals stood at the school doors or classroom and shook hands with students as they entered, school attendance was higher and bad behavior was lower. Don’t you think in your home if you started the night right by greeting your sweetie as they came in the rest of the night would go better?

Goodbyes

Goodbyes and goodbye hugs and kisses have a big impact too. These words and gestures say “I leave you with love.” With a touch goodbye, you anchor yourself to your mate. I recommend creating a “secret touch” I suggest that you agree on a non-verbal love signal shared just between the two of you. It can be a lingering look, a touch on the forearm, a cupped hand on the side of the face, a kiss to both cheeks, a touch of forehead to forehead, and that three second look or touch can mean, ‘I love you,’ ‘I want you right now’ or ‘You look great to me’,” or “I send you off with all my love.” There are other choices. Your secret love signal could be as simple as a sly smile, or your lips puckered up, or maybe a quick wrinkling up of the nose. It could be as simple as a tilt of the head to indicate you’d like to rest your head on his shoulder or allow her head to rest on yours as a gesture of warmth and respect. Words are not always needed. The secret love signal can recreate the love each time it is given.

Because I have been recommending making a ritual of goodbyes and hellos in your household, I have gotten many emails from attendees saying things like, “My spouse treats me so differently now that I get up and greet them at the door when they come home.” “I am amazed how much it seems to ease the stress of my husband when I go and greet him at the door.” “I have seen my sweeties face light up now when she comes home in a way it didn’t when I didn’t go to hug her when she came home.”

We have a favorite family recording of a greeting home. The coming home greeting was done by the local television station during the gulf war. My brother-in-law Sheldon is coming home from many months of danger in the Gulf. As he gets off the plane at first he looks lost and then, he sees his family and they see him. My sister and their children leap up and run full blast to him with their arms up and open. They are smiling and crying and it’s a love fest. My brother-in-law Sheldon bonds with his family, he is transformed.

So I say to you, Get up off the couch, come down from the office, put down your small tasks and rush to your sweetie. Go to the door to say hello every night when your loved ones come home.

This chapter was inspired by an interview I did for the Toronto Sun today. Here is the article. http://www.torontosun.com/life/2010/02/09/12807046.html

Patti Wood's Analysis of Jon Jones' Fox Sports Interview

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mma-cagewriter/deception-and-body-language-experts-dissect-jon-jones--fox-sports-live-interview-194454018.html

Patti's read is below in yellow:

Here's what body language experts thought of Jon Jones' Fox Sports interview

By Mike RussellJanuary 23, 2015 4:33 PMCagewriter

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In the wake of Jon Jones’ Fox Sports interview Monday, in which he denied having a cocaine problem, many questioned the UFC light heavyweight champion's sincerity.

During the 13-minute one-on-one with Fox Sports Live host Charissa Thompson, Jones admitted to using cocaine at a party prior to the Dec. 4 drug test he failed. He also admitted to using cocaine and other recreational drugs in college, but unequivocally denied having a cocaine problem.

"I know I don't [have a problem]," Jones said. "There's no room in my life to be a cocaine addict."

It seems as though every fighter, blogger, pundit, and social media soapboxer who has seen the interview, whether they believe or doubt the honesty of Jones, is a self-proclaimed expert on behavior, body language, and deception.

Rather than pile on with our own hypothesis of what we feel Jones’ demeanor indicated, we instead brought in two actual leading experts in the field to watch and analyze the 13-minute interview below and share their unbiased expert opinion of how genuine Jones really was.

(Disclaimer: Both experts were also provided with the “off air” argument between Jones and Daniel Cormier, as well as other less crisis-fuelled interviews with Jones for comparison as neither was familiar with him prior to our consultation. They were consulted independently and did not discuss their findings with one another.)

Janine Driver is a former ATF agent and deception and body language training officer, and is the New York Times and international best selling author of "You Can’t Lie to Me". She is the current president of the Body Language Institute, which offers civilian training courses and consults for various law enforcement agencies, legal teams, and news agencies.

The following is Driver’s analysis of the video:

Red flag 1

“When [Jones] answers that, no, he did not use cocaine from the time he took the [positive] test to the fight, he responds with a strong denial. He says, ‘No. No, I did not.’ This is the best denial and is often heard from honest people,” Driver explains.” “However, we then see a smile. This is called ‘duping delight’ and this is indicative of someone who is being deceptive. This indicates to me there's something he's not saying here.”

Red flag 2

“When asked how often he's done cocaine, he responds that he experimented in college, "but that's really it, you know?" This is what we call ‘squishy language,’ and it's indicative that there's again something he's not saying,” Driver points out. “Instead [if he were being absolutely forthright] he should've simply said, ‘I experimented with cocaine in college,’ then stopped talking.”

Red flags 3 and 4

“When he said that the cocaine he has done was done, ‘Mainly just in college...’ Another deceptive red flag popped up. Both the words ‘mainly’ and ‘just’ indicate that there is more than what he's telling us. Plus, then he does a shoulder shrug, which means he’s uncertain. If he's telling us the truth, what's he uncertain about?”

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Red flags 5 and 6

“When again asked by the reporter, other than in college, this one time before the fight is the only time he had used cocaine, [Jones] responded, ‘Yeah, pretty much…’ This is more "squishy language" and it indicates he's not giving us the whole truth,” Driver says. “He also does an eyebrow flash here, which indicates surprise. What is he surprised about?”

Red flag 7

“When the fighter says he is not a cocaine addict or frequent user, his eyes go to his bottom right, which is indicative of processing information with emotions,” explains Driver. “This is a change from his baseline throughout the interview, where he looked to his bottom left, which is internal dialogue or self talk. Why the change in behavior here?”

Red flag 8

“When talking further about not having a drug addiction or problem, we see the fighter smile here and do another eyebrow flash, indicating surprise. Although the smile and surprise could be because he thinks it's absolutely ridiculous because he has no room to have a drug problem or there could be more to the story here,” Driver says. “If I were interviewing him I would ask a question about why the smile and what's so surprising. The reporter then shares information that people who know him are shocked that he had used cocaine and the fighter shows no change in behavior like a smile or a contempt smirk, I'm inclined to believe that he is telling the truth here. However, I would need the follow-up question to make certain.”

– – – – – – – – –

Our second expert, Patti Wood, holds a master’s degree in interpersonal communication with an emphasis in non-verbal communication. She has given her expert analysis to countless law enforcement agencies and media outlets, including CNN, Fox News, ABC News, The Washington Post, and National Post.

Here is Wood’s analysis:

On “Bones” vs. Jones

“Jon Jones truly does have an on-air, off-air personality and great media coach,” Woods points out.

On Jones’ demeanor

“Though at first glance he seems amazingly calm, and matter of fact, if you look closely and examine his subtle nonverbal cues, he shows tension. There are indicators he is holding his deep displeasure [with having to do the interview, or the answers he’s giving]; he pulls back on volume of his voice,” Wood points out. “The interviewer is speaking in a clipped, loud, assertive voice; he is not matching her volume or assertiveness, which would be normal if he was totally relaxed, and revealing everything. Instead, oddly we see this big [fighter] whispering back his answers.”

On what his mouth is doing while saying something else

“Watch how he presses his lips together in what I call ‘pouty kiss mouth cue’. Those are cues of the bad taste the question being asked and the answers he is giving feel to him. Also, listen to the little clicks as he moistens his lips. The mouth gets dry under stress. This could be the stress of withholding information, but keep in mind this is also a stressful interview.”

On his choice of words

Jones says, ‘I am not here to make excuses.” This is an interesting statement. People who are demonstrating true integrity and honesty in revealing everything would not even feel the need to say that. He then follows that with, ‘Basically, I was at a party.’ Basically acts as a curtain word that covers up the truth and details of what happened at the party. I typically only hear someone use a curtain word in interviews and interrogations and courtroom testimony when they are hiding the truthful details. You don’t typically use ‘basically’ in everyday conversations. A scientist might use the word when trying to describe a complex process that he doesn’t want to spend the time describing to a novice in his field. Jones is not telling you how wild his behavior really was.”

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On Jones “taking responsibility”

“The ‘I am not going blame…’ speech, gives him a chance to blame. It sounds like it was scripted by a media coach. The phrase really works to make him look to the general public like he is being totally up front,” says Wood. “When he says ‘I don’t know what made me...’ while again making the ‘pouty kiss’ it shows he is displeased [with the answer] and not sharing everything.”

On Jones’ subconscious and conscious use of words

“He says, ’I am not a cocaine addict by any mean.’ He didn’t put an ‘s’ on the end of ‘means.’ He didn’t finish the sentence. That shows his lack of certainty in that answer. He follows that with, ‘I am not even a frequent user.’ That is an odd statement. This allows him to define what a ‘frequent user’ is. Practiced liars use that kind of wording. In this case he can make that statement and appear honest, but ‘frequent user’ could mean so many things. This is comparative to the words ‘sexual relations’ in the, ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman,’ admission by Clinton.”

On the most honest thing Jones said during the interview

“The one statement that he believes and feels the most strongly about is, ‘It was really dumb.’”

On his honesty when talking about his brothers

“Watch the bit of the tape as he talks about [discussing the situation with] his brothers and the one brother said [it is a really big topic of conversation] in his [NFL] locker room, he does a tongue cleanse. Very normal cue that shows he would like to get the whole conversations about his brothers out of his mouth.”

On his demeanor as the interview goes on

“He actually gets more relaxed as he talks about not having to check into rehab. I like him more and more, which is highly unusual for a confession/apology statement interview,” explains Wood. “That is so interesting.”

On his word he gives his fans and stakeholders

“He says, ‘…try to do things better.’ His delivery was honest and his pacing was on the mark,” Wood says. “I believe he wants to try to do things better. But do notice the limiter word, TRY. He honestly does feel bad about having let [his] fans down.”

Patti Wood on CNN Reading the Body Language of Tom Brady and Belichick During the DeflateGate Interview

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqlMhNWEfv4

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum

Top Ten Classic Movies PLUS Some

Top Ten Classic Movies

PLUS Some More That I Couldn't Leave Off the List of Great Black and White Films

I started to list my top ten classic movies but couldn't seem to stop at ten.

1. The Apartment

2. Holiday (Cary Grant Katherine, Hepburn Version)

3. Now Voyager

4. All About Eve

5. The Thin Man (All of the William Powell, Myrna Loy versions)

6. My Man Godfrey (William Powell version)

7. It Happened One Night

8. REBECCA

9. Stella Dallas

10. Notorious

11. Dinner at Eight

12. Philadelphia Story

13. His Girl Friday

14. Dark Victory

15. The Heiress

16. Talk of the Town

17. Born Yesterday

18. You Can't Take it With You

19. The 39 Steps

20. Sabrina

21. Dear Heart

22. Christmas in Connecticut

23. Random Harvest

24. The Farmers Daughter

25. Bachelor Mother

26. The Women

27. Waterloo Bridge

28. Midnight

Tom Brady DeflateGate. Tom Brady’s Body Language in His DEFLATEGATE Interview - Is He Lying?

Tom Brady’s Body Language in His DeflateGate Interview

Is He Lying?

By Patti Wood MA, CSP

Body Language Expert

I read Tom Brady’s body language for CNN. Notice how on the surface he appears fairly cool and smiles a lot. But here is the bottom line, his body language shows anger, nervousness and evasion and a content analysis of what he says shows evasion. He does not talk about the day of the football game and says he didn’t notice that the balls were deflated and he does not say he didn’t ask for them to be deflated.

CNN Interview with Patti Wood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqlMhNWEfv4

The Five Most Compelling Clips and The Body Language and Script Analysis of quarterback Tom Brady.

I have the link to Tom Brady’s DeflateGate Interview below and the time codes where each section begins. My read is based on Brady having a baseline in interviews of being cool and collected and having fun, that he was prepared for the interview, and I compared his baseline to what it would be for an individual who has done nothing wrong and is wrongfully accused.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HD7i5hQYHZs

1. Brady looks away, tongue clicks, and stalls and stutters, when asked, “When and how did you supposedly alter the balls?”

Starting at Time code: 32 When Tom Brady is asked about altering the ball. Brady first gives closed envelop lip cue that shows he is reigning in his true emotion and if you look at his eyes you see that emotion is anger. Also watch how he flips his chin up, in a way that seemly looks like I got this question but if you look at the micro facial cues actually shows he would like to say something more graphic and derogatory like, “Up yours!”

Then Brady looks away to escape the question and shakes his head no, but the head shake no comes after he speaks rather than before. That timing is SAY then Show. He says the words then shakes no that is an indication of deceit.
Then we hear Brady give a tongue click. He clicks his tongue on the roof of the mouth cleaning out the bad taste of the question, this is also a cue that means “I would like to spit at you.”
Then he gives a mistimed shoulder shrug. A mistimed shoulder cue is SAY the words then SHOW the body language rather than Show with your body language and then Say the words would have indicated it was an honest response. He says, “I didn't...” then shrugs. To be clear, when you’re telling the truth you feel the true emotion in your limbic brain, you show it nonverbally also from your limbic brain then you say the words. So Brady should have shrugged then spoken.
Let’s now look at the words he used in his answer so we can do a content statement analysis.
It is interesting that many news stories misquote, or only quote the last phrase of his answer. If you do that you can be fooled. You need to hear and analyze his full statement. He should have given a straightforward smoothly stated answer. This was after all not a statement made in the heat of the moment. He was prepared for this interview.

What he said is:

“I didn't UHHHHH you know.” “Have any AHHH you know.” “I didn't try to alter to the ball in any way.”

Again, people quote the sentence, “I didn't alter the ball.” But his full answer said so much more. The filler sound, “ahhh” is an indication he is going into his limbic brain to answer the question and he is under stress. But, he is not sure what he SHOULD say so he says, “uhhh.” He then goes to the filler phrase, “You Know.” He says it twice. Then here is what is most revealing, he starts the sentence three times. That’s three stalled starts. Before he gives the answer, “I didn't alter the ball in any way.” That is beyond mere nervousness. And here is the other kicker, with that wording the response means very little. We already know he couldn't have physically altered the ball, what we want to know is did he ask for it to be altered and did he know it was altered. I wished he had been asked if he asked for it to be altered or he knew it was altered.

2. He avoids “Telling the Story of the Event.” He does not say what he did that day.

In analyzing deception it is important to ask for the story of the event. Then listen carefully. Does a suspected person tell the story of the event or do they avoid telling the story? Do they tell another story or do they enter the story before or after the event, but avoid the event.

An interesting way of detecting deception is to notice when the “suspected deceiver” begins to tell the story. When Brady begins to tell a story he does actually tell the story of the day the footballs were found to be deflated. He instead starts a NEW STORY about his picking the ball process. Telling a different story allows him to sound and look truthful. That is, “Look over there.” Deception technique. If you are asking someone you suspect of doing something wrong whether they did it, don’t let them distract you with other stories. Brady gave a charming story that had nothing to do with the event.

When he talks about, “I have the process I go through with the ball...” he gets to be very passionate and strong, but again the answer he gives doesn't mean anything. His process would happen on an imaginary day, not the day the balls were supposedly deflated. It would be as ridiculous as asking a robber if he robbed the bank, and letting the robber talk in details about his workout at the gym every day.

3. He gives a cascade of anxiety cues like hidden lips as he gives his mash potato words.

Starting at Time Code 1:50 when Tom Brady is asked, “Is Tom Brady a cheater. Tom gives a cascade of body language cues. First Brady gives a cover smile showing his teeth. He then gives a nervous laugh. He then rocks side to side which is a self-comfort cue. Then he pulls in and hides his lips and you may remember lips disappear when we don’t like what we hear so this shows he does not like the question and may hide his true answer.

All of these movements serve as a way to delay his answer for a usually long time. All of those are cues of someone who is very nervous. They are not a full flag on the play that Brady is lying, but odd when he delays so long in answering that the actual answer is not a definitive statement. Instead he does all this stalling and gathers himself up and gives what appears to be a nice smooth honest answer, but notice the wording. “I don’t believe so.” It’s a disclaimer phrase. That sounds like a lawyer prepped him to give that answer to save him legally. As a Media coach I would not recommend that kind of soft answer. I call words like believe and feel Mash Potato words. They are words that hide the meat of the truth behind the mash potatoes. He follows that statement with more mash potato words. “I feel like I’ve always played within the rules.”

Then he follows with a story that means nothing. He talks about his morals. He does not talk about that day and say he didn't notice that the balls were deflated and he didn’t ask for them to be deflated. . Brady says. “I would never do anything to break the rules. I believe in fair play, I respect the league and everything they’re doing to try to create a competitive playing field for all the NFL teams. It’s a very competitive league. Every team is doing the best they can to win every week. I believe in fair play and will always do that for as long as I’m playing.”

4. Brady gives a “Dupers Delight” smile.

At time code 4:30 he gives this smile several times in the interview when he thinks he has gotten away with his answer. Here it is giving an off topic statement that anyone could say, “We are going to do our best… to be prepared for the game.” Then he gives his Dupers Delight smile. I think he is such a cutie pie, charm really works for him, most of the time. It does not here.

5. Brady stutters and uses tricky phrasing, whispers and a tongue thrust.

At time code 7:08 -7:16 or 17 when talking about how he likes ball… “I would never do anything outside of the, THE rules of play. I would never you know have someone do something that I thought was outside the the the rules. The double “the’s” is a stalling technique. His gestures are in sync and that looks great and he gets very passionate, the gestures and passionate delivery tricks us into thinking he is giving a heartfelt answer, but then he uses the phrase “outside the rules of play.” That is like a criminals saying, “I didn't do anything bad” the word bad is a matter of interpretation and the phrase, “outside the rules of play.” are a matter of interpretation. So in his mind he can believe he didn’t do anything wrong, because of the way he personally interprets the tricky phrase, “the rules of play.” Even with that cushion he still stumbles over his answer and the second time he says he does something very revealing he sucks in and whispers “the rules” and sticks out his tongue in a tongue thrust. The whispered “the rules” indicates he is not certain. By whispering the dangerous word he hopes we can’t hear that he is lying. Truth tellers shout it from the roof tops. Then finally his tongue thrust shows he is angry at being pushed on it.

6. Throughout the interview Brady gives many tightly closed upside down smiles.

This shows his displeasure and discomfort and hidden anger.

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