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How Do We Become More Sympathetic and Helpful? What Creates Good Character?

How Do We Become More Sympathetic and Helpful?
What Creates Good Character?

Relationship between sympathy, helping others could provide clues to development of altruism

Recently one of my book groups read David Brooks, “The Road to Character.” It was a fascinating book though I didn't feel the people he chose to write about had character in the way I define it, they did help others through good work. This research article shares insights into how helping others can build sympathy.

Research could help inform interventions to promote positive behaviors in adolescents

Date September 29, 2015
Source: University of Missouri-Columbia

Summary: Developmental psychologists long have debated whether individuals volunteer and help others because they are sympathetic or whether they are sympathetic because they are prosocial. Now, new research helps clarify some of the confusion.
Developmental psychologists long have debated whether individuals volunteer and help others because they are sympathetic or whether they are sympathetic because they are prosocial. Now, new research from the University of Missouri helps clarify some of the confusion, which could lead to better interventions to promote positive behaviors in adolescents and clues as to what makes some individuals altruistic.
"As researchers, we've known about the link between sympathy and prosocial behavior, such as volunteering and helping others, for a long time, but we didn't have much evidence about the nature of the relationship," said Gustavo Carlo, Millsap Professor of Diversity in MU's College of Human Environmental Sciences. "We demonstrated that a reciprocal relationship existed between prosocial behaviors and sympathy for adolescents from ages 12 to 16. Sympathy predicted prosocial behaviors, but also engaging in earlier prosocial behaviors positively predicted later sympathy."
Engaging in prosocial behaviors has a self-reinforcing quality that eventually may become incorporated into how adolescents view their moral selves; this may help explain how some individuals, over time, become more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors and become more sympathetic, Carlo said.
"This research has tremendous implications for understanding those individuals who we think of as moral exemplars, individuals who commit themselves to certain causes or other forms of generosity -- people such as Mahatma Ghandi, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King Jr. and others," Carlo said. "We want to know which developmental processes led these individuals to eventually manifest altruistic behaviors that set them apart from other individuals. For every one of those individuals who became famous, thousands of others exist who are doing fantastic work and helping to improve our society on a day-to-day basis."
For the study, the researchers recruited 500 12-year-olds to answer questions about sympathy and prosocial behaviors. The researchers questioned the adolescents four more times, each about a year apart, to observe changes in the adolescents' behavior and sympathy over time. The researchers observed a decline in sympathy among boys in early adolescence, but a steady increase followed the dip as the boys matured. Girls had higher levels of sympathy and prosocial behaviors at all ages.
To increase prosocial behaviors among adolescents, and among boys in particular, attention should focus on changing the societal environment so it encourages boys and girls to express their prosociality, Carlo said.
"Unfortunately, in our society, the pressures for boys to act tough and to not express what's seen as a sign of weakness is suppressing prosocial behaviors," Carlo said. "We need to pay attention to adolescents' contexts and their socialization groups. Prosocial behaviors clearly are natural tendencies, and unfortunately, some cultural contexts make it difficult for adolescents to express those tendencies, which should be signs of strength and not weakness. We need to get that message across and make it easier for kids to express what's innately inside of them."

Story Source:
The above post is reprinted from 
materials provided by University of Missouri-ColumbiaNote: Materials may be edited for content and length

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

President Obama and Putin's Body Language During United Nations Meeting in New York.

President Obama and Putin's Body Language during United Nations Meeting in New York

I did a piece this morning for ABC News on the body language of President Obama and President Putin during their time together at the United Nations in New York.  Here is the piece followed by the videos I analyzed. http://bit.ly/1KJ09ir.


Body language expert: Obama's disgust' on display in 'forced' encounters with Putin

By Amanda Ota Tuesday, September 29th 2015



United States President Barack Obama, right, and Russia's President Vladimir Putin pose for members of the media before a bilateral meeting Monday, Sept. 28, 2015, at United Nations headquarters. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)






WASHINGTON (SINCLAIR BROADCAST GROUP) — President Obama is done playing politics when it comes to Russian President Vladimir Putin, based on his interactions with the world leader at the United Nations on Monday.
"He's letting the world know he is not very happy with Putin" explained Body Language Expert Patti Wood.
While most politicians have their "game face" that shows that nothing bothers them, Wood said Obama made the choice to use his body language to express his feelings toward Putin on Monday.
Overall, Wood described, Obama used "a cluster of cues" to tell Putin "I don't respect and honor you enough to give you my time, to enjoy this process or enjoy this moment.. I'm being forced to do this"
While Wood explained that Obama has been more likely to show his displeasure in certain situations than other Presidents she has observed "this was really obvious."
"It is highly unusual to show that much emotion," Wood noted.
Wood described Obama's body language "was more disgust than displeasure it was more profound he made the choice to say I'm displeased, I'm disgusted, I don't want to have a relationship with you."
"Obama feels strongly enough to show his feelings to the entire world," Wood said, and everyone is paying attention.
"The whole world is noticing this," Wood commented.
Obama appeared pained to even be in the same room as Putin for a photo opportunity. Wood noticed that he didn't' walk all the way into the room where members of the press were eagerly snapping photos.
"Usually a handshake approach in those kinds of setting everything is slowed down for the camera Obama did a couple of things to make it short and brief."
Making the moment as short as possible, Wood said, Obama "showed his dislike and disrespect."
Keeping the photo opportunity brief was just one of the actions Obama took to show his disrespect for Putin, Wood noticed. Describing the handshake itself, Wood noticed Obama "swung out his fingers like he wanted to smack Putin up the side of his face."
Wood described the way Obama "flung out his fingers" as a "weapon gesture" which she said is not often seen in a stylized handshake.
Wood saw no indication that Putin was phased by Obama's cold demeanor. She noted that during the handshake "Putin went on top, to show his power and control and his dominance, that's just the way he is, that isn't purely situational."
Analyzing the smirk Putin was caught making while toasting with Obama during lunch, Wood explained that a smirk is an indication that a person is feeling one thing, but having to act in a different way. Putin's smirk, Wood analyzed was him thinking "I'm so much better than this, I'm so much smarter than them this is just ridiculous that I have to be here."
The notion of having to be present against their will may have been the only mutual feeling Obama and Putin shared Monday. Asked to sum up the interactions between the two world leaders Wood described them as "forced."

Video of their photo opportunity is in the first few seconds of this:




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Weird Boss Behaviors You Shouldn't Overthink

Weird Boss Behaviors You Shouldn't Overthink
So your manager's email style is questionable. Cut her some slack.
Before freaking out over your manager's frequent late arrivals to your meetings, find out why she is tardy.

By Laura McMullen Sept. 21, 2015 | 11:14 a.m. EDT + More
What would you give to be able to call out your boss on every annoying thing he or she does? What percentage of your paycheck, part of your soul or expendable phalanges would you sacrifice for the freedom to threaten to fire her if she's late to another one of your meetings?
Of course, these aren't questions your manager has to dwell on. She's allowed to point out all your not-so-endearing quirks – free of charge for her and her soul. You, on the other hand – or rather, on the other end of the totem pole – are typically better letting her frustrating habits slide. But before diving into another firing fantasy, ask yourself: How big of a deal is it, really, that she's late to your meetings?
Maybe it seems like a grander gesture than it really is, because managers' actions and words often feel loaded to employees. Skip Weisman, leadership and workplace communication expert, gives an example about a manager he trains: The manager's employees pointed out that every time the team comes to her with an issue, she lets out a sigh. Tiny breath, huge effect. From the manager's point of view, the sigh is for her – it's a beat where she can adjust to the new situation and wrap her head around a solution. But to the employees, it seemed like the manager was exasperated or even angry that they handed her the issue.
"Bosses have a huge impact on the people below them," Weisman says. So you're probably not the only one keeping track of how often your boss arrives late to your meetings or obsessing over a six-word request he emailed you. Some things you have to just let fly, and others may be worth mentioning.
Here's a guide to a few common, but weird, boss behaviors:
Your boss's emails are always short – curt, even. You spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect project-update email to your manager. You triple-check the facts and obliterate typos. You obsess over word choice. You suffer a near breakdown debating between "Hi Bob," "Hello Bob," "Hey Bob" or the always-bold (but too bold?) "Bob –."
And then – behold – your boss's reply: "Sounds good." Or: "Thnaks" Or: "K."
Or maybe it's your boss emailing you first, with fewer words than most texts: "Please [do X]." End of email. That's it. "They make a request, and then they're done," says Patti Wood, body language and communication expert and author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma." "There's no preamble; there's no small talk; there's no 'how are the kids' kind of thing." It feels a lot like a pre-breakup epiphany: I'm putting so much more effort into this (email) relationship than he is.

For better or for worse, those short, seemingly careless emails may be pretty typical of bosses. In 2012, Eric Gilbert, an assistant professor in Georgia Institute of Technology's School of Interactive Computing, published a study that analyzed emails between Enron employees. He found that people often vary their communication styles depending on if they're writing to a boss versus a colleague or subordinate. For example, emails he analyzed from bosses to employees were more likely to contain spelling errors. And emails sent to bosses were less likely to show "cognitive process" – working out a problem as you type – than emails to subordinates or colleagues. In other words: You're not the only one who will pine over an email to a boss before sending, but then bang one out to your colleague. (And your boss isn't the only one who makes typos.)
So try not to read too much into succinct emails – not that there are many words to read into, anyway. When managers shoot off these quick replies and requests, "they think they're being expedient and using their time effectively," Wood says. She adds that, in some situations, the succinctness can be interpreted as flattering. Your manager doesn't need to hold your hand through a five-paragraph email or outline every detail of a request or reply. "Think of it like: 'OK, they sent this to me because I can take care of it,'" she says.
He yells more than speaks. Remember that old "Saturday Night Live" Weekend Update segment in which Will Ferrell plays a guest who can't control the volume of his voice and thus yells everything he says? Maybe your boss suffers the same fictional "voice immodulation" disease.
Wood says speaking ​too loudly is sometimes a trait of the "driver" personality type. "Inside their heads, they don't know how loud and abusive it is," she says of these yellers. "They're trying to be expedient – and guess what? It works."​ (For a real-life example, consider a presidential candidate whose name rhymes with "rump.")
To be clear, there's a difference between being loud and being abusive. (Here's a real example of a boss whose yelling is a form of abuse, along with tips for how to cope.) ​​One way to decide if you should forgive this yelling as a personality trait or take it personally is to observe how your boss speaks to everyone else. If he is yelling only at you, that's a problem, Wood says. But if he does that with everyone, she says "it really doesn't have anything to do with you." And if your boss has otherwise nurtured an open, cooperative environment, you might want to gently point out the issue to him, she adds.

Laura McMullen is the Careers editor at U.S. News and was previously a Health + Wellness reporter. You can follow her on Twitter, connect with her on LinkedIn, circle her on Google+ or email her at lmcmullen@usnews.com.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Lonley People's Brains Work Differently

Did you ever have a song play in your head like, “Ah, look at all the lonely people?” That’s the old Eleanor Rigby Beatles tune.  Consider a new research finding that the brains of lonely people are not looking for smiles and laughter to cheer them up, instead, because we are wired for survival, and isolated people are more vulnerable, they remain vigilant looking for perceived threats such as frowns or sneers. So smile a few more times today and look for happy faces to make the world a more warm and welcoming place. 

Link to research:

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/08/lonely-peoples-brains-work-differently.html

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Give Receive and Share Video

Give Receive and Share Video

You will be so glad you watched this video. It shares in a few minutes what an open heart will do. This is the message of all my work. I would love everyone I know to see it!  My goodness how special.

https://www.facebook.com/willemvanleunen/videos/10203604114957868/?pnref=story

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.Share Video

Emmys 2015: Jon Hamm prostrates himself on stage in supplicating Emmy ‘Thank you’ speech, Patti Wood

Emmys 2015: Jon Hamm prostrates himself on stage in supplicating Emmy ‘Thank you’ speech

acceptance speech — and that made him an even bigger winner.
Hamm oozed humility, with an “I’m not worthy” approach that made him the sexiest supplicant in Emmy history.
The 44-year-old “Mad Men” star is in a 12-step program, but he didn’t take the stairs to claim his prize as best actor in a drama — his first after seven consecutive snubs. Instead, Hamm took the floor, wriggling onto the stage on his belly.
Yes, he prostrated himself before millions. And that came after he dropped his head to his chest after hearing Tina Fey announce his name.
“It's not pretty. It’s all awkward. (He’s saying) ‘I don't even deserve to walk up the steps,’” says Atlanta-based body language expert Patti Wood. “It’s clearly saying, I am humble.”
Hamm’s self-censure comes after his personal annus horribilis .

Yes, Jon Hamm smiled after he accepted the award for best actor in a drama series for  “Mad Men,” but not after he prostrated himself on stage and acted very humbled.LUCY NICHOLSON/REUTERS

Yes, Jon Hamm smiled after he accepted the award for best actor in a drama series for “Mad Men,” but not after he prostrated himself on stage and acted very humbled.

Back in February, he spent 30 days in rehab for alcohol abuse. Earlier this month, he split from longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt. They’d spent 18 years together.
Despite their separation, Hamm thanked “Jen” in his speech — right after he thanked their dog, Cora.
Woods, author of “SNAP - Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma,” believes that Hamm’s decision to go belly-up rather than taking the stairs was planned in advance of the telecast.“I know these kinds of events,” says Woods. “It’s as if he’s saying ‘I can’t do this the normal way. I’m doing it the hard way.’”


http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/jon-hamm-emmy-speech-article-1.2368548

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Pics from recent Hubbell Power Systems Program in Atlanta, GA

Recent pics from my Body Language Sales and Leadership program for Hubbell Power Systems in Atlanta, GA.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Patti meets James Dean Hicks at Hubbell program

Patti with famous singer songwriter James Dean Hicks at recent program for Hubbell Power Systems in Atlanta, GA.




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Republican Presidential Candidates' Body Language by Patti Wood on CNN Today



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7qEBIVK4B8


Power is communicated by the amount of space you take, whether your body is open rather than closed and relaxed rather than tense.

Donald Trump finger points and chops in weapon like gestures, scowls and grimaces and yells a lot. This combined with his BIG hair, big head and jaw and height make his imprint as the aggressive alpha male candidate.  In addition, he has a low, growly voice.  In the analysis of the Debates from the past hundred years the candidate with the lowest voice won. Lower tones in the voice are formed by a larger larynx. Trump is the lion roaring and that can win over a “nice” candidate. Anger can “trump” nice.

Other candidates in the first Republican debates:

Jeb Bush kept his shoulders down and his arms tight to his body.  He looked scared. In many speaking situations he gives an unfortunate puppy head tilt at the beginning of his answers to questions. In the last debate he also did an “I give up shrugs” and spoke at a low volume and gave halting, and half-finished utterance.   His body swayed to give himself comfort rocking motion and head tilts. He needs to be stronger and more forceful and gesture more broadly.

Ben Carson has beautiful words but he was not forceful enough in this first debate! Several times he held his arms out with his palms facing upwards in a gesture cluster I call Holy supplication. This makes him look submissive rather than presidential. He should gesture more forcefully and forward.  He is open and likable and when he smiles he is charming but so far he is not quite alpha enough in debate mode. Open and likable are admirable characteristics but he needs to look more in control to win viewer’s confidence.  The biggest issue in the first debate is that he holds his head back in and down so he looked like a turtle fearfully hiding his head. He also gulped down his words, and let his voice trail off at the end of sentences. He also held his own hands. He has a great sense of humor and he can be spontaneous so he has a chance to win viewers over if he works on his power.

Carly Florina has the chance to have a fresh new image. She has a nice, low voice. Slow and deliberate. Margaret Thatcher trained her voice to go low when she gave serious messages. Carly has a great deliberate and low presidential voice. Even if you don't agree with her message her delivery is that of a leader. When she speaks and says things like. “This is a great nation” her gestures are small, but lady like. The best thing about her gestures is that they are in sync. They are authentically given in what body language and credibility detection reads call a “feel show say” order. She feels something and gestures from her limbic brain and then says the words from her neocortex. That feel show say delivery indicates she truly believes what she says. We hear and see that and we believe her. In fact, her head even moves in sync. She communicates anger well and rehearsed messages well. We need to see her being spontaneous and giving inspiring messages.


Chris Christie is folksy and relaxed but gets defensive easily. Anger does not look good on him.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How to Dress for Women Entrepreneurs

How to Dress for Women Entrepreneurs
By Patti Wood Body Language Expert, MA, CSP

If you want to insure that your “brand” is current.  Here are the fall fashion trends.

1. A little black leather or leather look jacket or top. My highest recommendation is that you always wear clothes that are on trend. You want your company brand to be current not fuddy duddy or dowdy. The Little Black Jacket: this season the little black jacket is being hailed as, "The answer to every fashion question." The little black jacket can dress you up and make you look youthful if you pair it with a little dress or slender black pants and a high quality little white shirt! Make sure it fits. Leather is hot you just keep the design simple and tailored.

2. Pants: Ankles are this season's bare-skin. Store any pants that don’t match this seasons. Pick up a magazine. Skinny pants, lots of ankle, gauchos that look good on only a few women.

3. Skirts: Classic cuts, short, but not too short. If it is age appropriate you can try a fitted skirt with a small flounce. They are very in. Make sure you pair it with a fitted top.

4. Tops: While jackets and blazers that don’t look dowdy are sometimes hard to find they can give you a crisp pulled together look. You can wear a short jacket with the new style of long blouse if you wear it with narrow pants. You can also wear a jacket with a shorter fitted skirt.

5. Dresses: Still very on trend. Some of the new dresses have a skirt that swishes slightly rather than pencil thin all the way down.

6. Colors: black, bluish or brownish red, sage to sage tinges gray, pink (not fuchsia not pale), teal, and orchid purple are the front-runner colors of this season's pallet. Black and white block patterns on fabric, are popular.

7. Legs with attitude. Hose with pattern. Subtle not fishnets!

8. Bow with a blouse. They are narrow and you don’t actually tie the bow, it is more to create a color contrast and act like a necklace.

9. Victorian blouses lace and leather details are hot. But just use one in an outfit.

10. Rhinestone statement broaches are in again. But in different shapes, stars, bows and flour de lease. If you wear a broach just make sure the rest of your outfit is hip. So you may want to wear the latest narrow pants with the ankle showing, or a shorter skirt.


The Body Language Expert
Web- www.PattiWood.net

I have a new quiz on my YouTube station. Check it out!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNDJOcYly1uLU5dxr9JFkpQ

When it comes to work clothes, we are in a new era — the era of Mark Zuckerberg's hoody, and Mary Barra's "jeans allowed" policy. Where 20 years ago, dark power suits with sculpted shoulders emanated prosperity and productivity, now people seem to think henleys do the trick.

Even in corporate environments that have not adopted the casual, start-up ethos, business casual is the new business formal; weekend wear is the new business casual; and pajamas are legitimate uniforms for the growing ranks of telecommuters and freelancers who work from the privacy of their bedrooms. Suits are gross.

Given the changing fads, you may not want to start showing up at work in a three-piece suit and a tight half-Windsor, especially if you work at a flip-flop office. But there's some evidence that for most of us, a return to slightly more formal work attire may be a good thing. Even if you work at home.

Clothes can make you smarter

The new phrase is “enclothed cognition" — an offshoot of "embodied cognition," the idea that aspects of your thoughts are shaped by your body — entered the b-school vocabulary. The term came from Adam D. Galinsky, a professor at Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management, who found that when people don a white lab coat they believe belongs to a doctor, they become more focused and careful — effectively a little smarter when performing cognitive tasks.

For the study, Galinsky assigned 58 under grads to either wear a white, doctor's lab coat, or simply the street clothes already on their backs. He then used incongruent trials that tested their focus and mental acuity. He found that those who wore the lab coat made about half as many errors as those who wore street clothes.

In his next test, he assigned 74 students three sartorial options. Some would wear a white coat, and were told it was a doctor's coat. Others wore an identical coat, but were told it was a painter's coat. And a third group merely looked at a white "doctor's" coat. The subject then took an attention test where they were asked to point out differences between two images and speedily write them down. Those who wore the "doctor's" coat performed significantly better than the other two groups.

Though the results were white, doctor's coat-specific, Galinsky's work implies that merely wearing an item associated with intelligence can improve your cognitive abilities. "Clothes invade the body and brain, putting the wearer into a different psychological state," said the New York Times about Galinky's findings.

It is up to you whether you want your PJs invading your mind while you work, or something a little more smart and attractive.

Clothes can also make others think you're smarter

Of course, we're not implying you should show up at the office tomorrow in a white coat with a name tag that says "doctor, not artist." But it's worth thinking about what symbolizes smart and effective in your own office.

Tracy Morris, a professor of psychology at West Virginia University, for years studied how attire impacts perception. For one test, Morris asked a group of professors to dress in three types of garb — formal professional (full dark suits), business casual (slacks or skirts and nice shirts), or casual (jeans, a plaid flannel, sneakers). I should mention here that she conducted her study in the mid-90s.

The professors then gave lectures. Controlling for content, as well as non-verbal behavior like eye contact and smiling, she then asked students to rate professors on several attributes involving competence, character, sociability, composure, and extroversion.

What she found: Perceptions of professional attributes, like competence, composure, and knowledge, "are effected most by dress, with formal dress resulting in the most positive perception." Perceptions of instructor competence were highest in the formal condition, with business casual a close second, and the lowest ratings for the casual wear.

Of course, the study took place in the 90s, and the definition of formal business attire in most industries has shifted toward the more casual (though thankfully away from flannels). Nevertheless, it's worth thinking about what is "formal" in your industry and dressing accordingly.

It also impacts how you see yourself on the job

This one is directed at those who are wearing jeans and sneakers in a mostly slacks and oxfords office — meaning, those who tend to dress more casually than others. Even if you're not violating a dress code, some evidence says dressing "properly" has an impact on how you see your own skill set.

In a 1994 study, Yoon-Hee Kwon, from North Illinois University studied how clothing impacts the way you rate yourself on ten occupational attributes: Responsibility, competence, knowledgeability, professionalism, honesty, reliability, intelligence, trustworthiness, willingness to work hard, and efficiency. Cross-referencing these attributes against broad guidelines like "properly dressed" or "not properly dressed," she found that when wearing appropriate clothes, a person's sense of these occupational traits were augmented.

Once again, the idea is not to show up at work dressed for a gala, or even to wear anything obtrusively businesslike if your office is casual. The idea is simply, if you're dressing like a schlub for work, maybe step it up a notch.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

How does body language effect the interaction at the Big Brother House?

Body Language at the Big Brother House.

How does body language effect the interaction at the Big Brother House?

Space invasion, proxemics Body Language Expert Patti Wood MA, CSP Author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.

WHY ARE WE SO UNCOMFORTABLE BEING CLOSE UP WITH STRANGERS?

In forced close distances, get intense at 2 feet.  When a stranger comes closer than two feet or less our bodies go into stranger danger stress response. You have heard of Flight Fight response, well when a stranger gets to close the limbic brain goes into a stress response and the brain releases cortisol. You may Freeze in place, Flee for safety, Fight, perhaps expand and get big to show don’t mess with me. (Arm’s length, our bodies go into a “Stanger Danger” stress response. You have heard of the flight fight response it’s more complex. Close strangers may make you want to freeze in place, flee, expand into fight response, faint or fade.) 

HOW CLOSE CAN WE GET TO ANOTHER PERSON? 

In Europe and North America our sense of self is external so we have a body bubble wall that extends out from our body 18 inches. 

THERE’S A CERTAIN DISTANCE WE ARE ALL GENERALLY COMFORTABLE WITH.

Intimate relationships 0 to 18 inches, for people we know but aren’t going to be kissing 2 feet is what is called personal distance. If we don’t know them and are confined we ideally want 4 feet or more (Think two arm lengths.) The interesting thing about the Big Brother house is it forces people into intimate distance space interactions_(0-18 inches) and social distance space one and a half to two feet) We normally would create a relationship then reduce the distance in this case the space requires us to reframe our relationships. It can make some people get belligerent and stay in attack and defend mode and others form close relationships very quickly.

WHY DO WE FEEL WE SHOLDN’T TALK TO STRANGERS IN CLOSE SPACES BUT SOMETIMES WE FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO?

Social proxemics typically when you have an intimate relationship think friend or family, both your primitive limbic brain and social rules say you can and should be physically close.  If you are forced to be close with a stranger you are battling the physical messages that say this is scary and the social etiquette that says, I should be nice, after all we close.

OVERALL: ANY GENERAL WORDS OF ADVICE OR TIPS TO MAKE CLOSE SPACES WITH STRANGERS LESS AWKWARD, AND MORE COMFORTABLE?

There is a tool I call, “establishing commonality” so you’re in the situation together. So say to them simple things you have in common like the weather outside, the temperature, the background music, so you feel a connection that makes you like each other. Yes there is a reason we talk about the weather finding out something you have in common with a stranger reduces your stress, it makes you feel like you are from the same tribe that you are in it together. By the way, you may establish commonality with some members in the house by forming an alliance against someone else!



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Top Tips for Phone Messages By Patti Wood MA, CSP Professional Speaker

Top Tips for Phone Messages
By Patti Wood MA, CSP Professional Speaker
Though for some generations the phone has gone the way of the covered wagon, video tape and disco dancing, you still need to know phone etiquette to live with the rest of the world.
Here are important tips for voice mail and phone interactions. 
Stan was looking for a job and had a great interview with a Fortune 100 company that he felt had gone really well. He got a voice message on his cell from the manager he had interviewed with. But it sounded odd. There was a long silence, then a stuttered awkward message that sounded like he was upset. Stan wasn’t sure what the manager thought about him during the interview. When he told his friend Karl about the odd message, Karl laughed and said, "Well at least your prospective boss didn’t call your cell." "You still have that message on it that says, “Yo! What's up?" That sounds like you’re from the Jersey shore.” Horrified, Stan realized that’s the number he had given the manager. Stan changed his voice mail message and found out later he didn’t get the job.   

           Have a professional message on your work, home and cell phone voicemail. Create your message and leave it on your phone and people are still forming an impression of that message years later. Speak clearly; don’t talk too fast. Give sufficient amount of information and no more. Avoid music, slang, and funny voices.

           When you call leave professional messages on other peoples voicemail. And follow up. Prepare your message before you call. Make it short but complete. Leave your full name, your phone number, repeating it slowly and your email address. Always say why you called. If you have more than one point to discuss, start the message with, “I am calling about two issues.” 

      Fewer people listen to their voice mail messages so if you leave a voicemail follow up with email or text. A half hour before an important conference call from the west coast to discuss a big project my dog slipped out the side door as we brought in supplies. I grabbed my cell phone and ran up and down the hills of my neighborhood shouting “Come here Bo.”  The cell phone rang and I answered breathless and voice strained.  It was my client and her bosses calling early!  I explained what was going on, but found out that my first impression had worried my client’s boss. He told her, “She sounded nervous about the project and I wonder if she can handle it. “ I didn’t get the contract.

       Remember, cell phones can catch you casual.  Be careful of answering your cell phone on the fly. If your business colleagues call you on your cell, don’t answer your cell phone if you can’t answer clearly and calmly. Be aware that if you are in the car, your mind is distracted. Realize that if you answer the phone while you are in the bathroom, the echo of the tile is distinctly noticeable and that sound could potentially be very embarrassing.

       Return calls promptly. Time is strong nonverbal communicator

       Imagine you’re talking in person face-to-face. You lose up to 80% of your expressiveness with physical, non-verbal cues. Be present and focused on the call so that your emotions come through in your paralanguage. Otherwise your first impression may be a robot voice. Your energy level and vocal variation typically goes down on a phone call. You need to bring up your energy level to sound like you really are there and aren’t distracted driving or checking your emails while you are on the call. If you can, stand up to keep your energy high. If you are being interviewed over the phone, dress up for the interview to remind yourself to stay professional. If you are particularly nervous about a call forget the coaching to stand up. You will be calmer and more centered sitting down in place where you feel comfortable and safe. Don’t sit starring at a screen of any kind. Reading print on a screen makes your voice become monotone and the focus on the words may hinder your focus on the other person or people on the call. The most important thing you can do is connect.          




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.