Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog : 11/01/2015

On Friendship

On Friendship

By: Kahlil Gibran

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Mr. “Get it Right” (Corrector) Helps Me go to the Grand Canyon

Mr. “Get it Right” (Corrector) Helps Me go to the Grand Canyon

By: Patti Wood MA, CSP

I’ve known my friend Michael for a long time. In fact, I have known him since he was a 19-year-old student of mine years ago at Florida State. Now don't go there, we have always been just friends. I was not Mrs. Robinson. (Though I could rock those black stockings!) I was only three years older than Michael when he was my student and it took him two years to stop calling Miss Wood!

Michael knows I have this uncanny ability to wish for a speaking engagement in a certain location and almost instantly get a speech there. He finds it funny that my optimistic personality works so well for me. He called me when he was on a trip to the Grand Canyon and said, “Patti you need to get a speaking engagement here.” “It is beautiful." So, I visualized for it and sure enough, within a few weeks I was booked to speak in Scottsdale, Arizona. I immediately called up Michael and said, “Michael I got a speaking engagement near the Grand Canyon in November." "Isn’t it great I get to go the Grand Canyon in November?”

Now Michael is a "Get it Right" with a little "Get Along" thrown in. He wants to help you by pointing out all the details and problems you have not seen in any situation. He said with news anchorman sincerity “Now Patti, it’s going to be really cold in the Grand Canyon in November have you thought about the fact it could snow?” I exclaimed, “Oh wouldn’t that be great! "I could see the Grand Canyon covered in snow!" Michael tisked tisked as he observed another “problem” I hadn’t considered. “Now Patti I know you lived in Florida most of your life where it is always warm.” “Do you have the clothes that will keep you warm enough for snow and cold weather in the Grand Canyon? “ I replied, “Oh I don’t, but that’s great I can buy a cool coat and set of furry boots.” I said filled with glee, “It will be great to go shopping for snowy cold weather.” Michael’s voice became even more fatherly in its sternness, “Now Patti I know you’re paying off your grad school loan and expanding your business.” “Do you have the money to buy all these clothes? I heard his stern concern and started laughing because I realized he was being helpful with the details as a “Get it Right” on the DISC personality inventory and I was being a “Get Appreciated” cockeyed optimist, someone to whom details are not as important as the big picture possibility of it all. Michael heard me laughing and he got it. He said, “Oh, I’m being really “Get it Right” about your trip aren’t I? “Should I be a little “Get it Appreciated” for you?” I said, "I love all your advice and yes, optimism would be awesome.” There was a long pause because “Get it Rights” need silence to think of just the right thing to say, and then he said, “Isn’t it GREAT that you’re going to the Grand Canyon in November.” and we both laughed. I appreciate Michael’s ability to see the details; he loves my joy and positive outlook. When you are dealing with different DISC personality types sometimes you just need to love what they bring you and sometimes you need to ask for what you need.

Classic Movie Moments from The Graduate

Mrs Robinson was confident and she knew how to rock black stockings. Here are a few classic movie moments from The Graduate.

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/206434/Graduate-The-Movie-Clip-Seduce-Me-.html

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/206436/Graduate-The-Movie-Clip-Wood-or-Wire-.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acEh0kEL7_E

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

A Modern Man’s Guide to Body Language

A Modern Man’s Guide to Body Language

They say actions speak louder than words, and that’s especially true when it comes to dating. When it comes to detecting a woman’s interest in you, then you needn’t look further than her body. No, not in a leering, Tinder-esque way. Often times, it’s in the simplest gestures when a woman’s body language speaks the loudest. So even if Shakira was right when she said “Hips Don’t Lie”, what is she trying to tell you? And what is your body language saying to her?

We asked body language experts, Stacie Ikka, a nationally recognized matchmaker and dating coach, and Patti Wood, author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to give us some insight on what her body language is telling you as well as tips to help you control the impression you’re giving off on your first date.

What She’s Telling You When She’s Into You

So, you just sat down to dinner, exchanged the usual pleasantries (“How long have you been on Tinder?”) and now you’re wondering what she’s thinking about you. Well, if she’s adjusting herself—twirling her hair, playing with her earrings—chances are, according to Ikka, she’s into you. “When a woman is interested in a man, she tends to be more self-conscious than usual,” she says. “She won’t realize it, and could vehemently deny it if called out, but you’ll find her doing things like, checking the bottom of her shirt (is it adequately covering the midsection she’s trying to conceal? OR is it exposing her sexy midriff in that meant-to-look-unintentional-but-actually-strategic-kinda-way?), and inconspicuously peering down at her inviting cleavage to ensure the girls are positioned ‘just right.’”

Another dead giveaway? Her eyes.

“If they are fixated on you—and not the door, her phone or the handsome bartender—then you are ‘winning’,” says Ikka. “And, if you feel violated—like her eyes are doing naughty things to your body—then consider that a bonus.”

Wood agrees that a woman’s eyes are the windows into her soul—or, at least, her loins.

“Lingering eye contact is a big sign of attraction. It’s a look that lasts longer than three seconds. For women, they will look away unless they want to go bed with you right now.”

Another indication of attraction is the direction of your date’s feet. “If she’s attracted, she will point her feet towards you,” says Wood. “I like to say, ‘where her feet point, her heart follows.’”

What She’s Telling You When She’s Not

Of course, a woman’s body language speaks volumes when she’s not into you at all. Sometimes she can be subtle about her disinterest, like, as Wood points out, her feet are pointed away from you.

Another thing to look out for? Her pelvis (like you’re not looking at it already). “The pelvis, when she is attracted sexually, will be pointed towards you and slightly tiled in towards you,” says Wood. “But when she is not interested, she might have her upper torso pointed towards you, being very polite, but her pelvis will be turned away. She doesn’t tilt her pelvis towards someone she isn’t sexually attracted to.”

Other times, she might be sending some seriously obvious SOS signals, and you still might be clueless. “If your date is spending a lot of time in the bathroom, she is either not feeling the vibe you’re sending, she has a cocaine habit or she legit has a bladder infection,” says Ikka. “None are good signs.” Checking her phone a lot and having a wandering eye are other signs she’s not into you, according to Ikka.

What Your Body is Telling Her

Just as much as her body is telling you what she’s thinking, your own physicality—whether it’s intentional or not—can be verbalizing a heck of lot to her, too. Wood warns against what she calls “peacock boasting”—when a guy lays back on a chair and spreads his arms out. “It’s a guy move and guys have always done this,” she says. “They’ll talk about themselves and the great things they’ve done, things they accomplished. It will be an attempt to peacock. ‘Don’t I have great feathers? Don’t you want to mate with me?’ But it tends to do the opposite.”

Ikka warns against checking your phone (“There is no bigger turn-off than a guy checking his phone. We automatically either assume you’re lining up your post-date booty call or wonder how many other women you’re dating”) and keeping your wandering eye in check. “Most of us understand your primitive inclinations. Some of us are more forgiving than others. But, before you start affixing your gaze elsewhere, make sure we’re willing to play the ‘people watching’ game with you,” says Ikka. “Otherwise, we take it as a personal insult. Some women may even call it demeaning or disrespectful.”

As for tips on how to better clue into your date’s non-verbal cues, Wood says, “Just be very present and very connected, and that’s very had to do when yore highly attracted to someone. Be present, connected and willing to go where they are energetically.”

Ikka echoes the sentiment. “Body language, usually, comes from the subconscious,” she says. “If you’ve been oblivious to body language in the past, before you can aspire to “accurately read someone’s body language”, you first need to wake up, and be present.” She suggests to observe and pinpoint her facial expressions, her body positioning, her hand gestures and her overall movement. “Once you’ve got this nailed down—then and only then—can you begin to interpret her body language,” Ikka says.

“Remember that any one signal—in isolation—could mean nothing. For example, just because she responds to a text doesn’t mean she’s not into you if she’s otherwise smiling, touching your arm from time to time and facing you with those bedroom eyes. She may have a sick child at home with a babysitter. Conversely, just because she’s not looking at her phone and is engaged in your conversation doesn’t mean she’s into you . . . Just like when choosing a partner you need to consider the whole package, the same must be done when reading body language.”

http://dailyxy.com/article/the-modern-mans-guide-to-body-language/

Male and Female Brain Differences?

Research on Lack of Differences in Male and Female Brains

Many of you know that I do research and speak on gender based differences in communication. There is always a nature vs nurture discussion. This research is interesting as it debunks research on brain differences between genders that many people have quoted for years. Using MRI volumes of male and female brains and also Meta Analysis of 76 published papers"The team's findings challenge the common claim that a disproportionately larger hippocampus explains females' tendency toward greater emotional expressiveness, stronger interpersonal skills, and better verbal memory." It will be interesting to how researchers in the field discuss this challenge to long held beliefs about what causes gender differences.

Date: October 29, 2015 Source: Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science

Summary:A research study has debunked the widely-held belief that the hippocampus, a crucial part of the brain that consolidates new memories and helps connect emotions to the senses, is larger in females than in males.

Many people believe there is such a thing as a 'male brain' and a 'female brain,'" Dr. Eliot said. "But when you look beyond the popularized studies -- at collections of all the data -- you often find that the differences are minimal."

Credit: © Tyron Molteni / Fotolia

A research study at Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science has debunked the widely-held belief that the hippocampus, a crucial part of the brain that consolidates new memories and helps connect emotions to the senses, is larger in females than in males.

Lise Eliot, PhD, associate professor of neuroscience at the university's medical school, headed a team of students in a meta-analysis of structural MRI volumes that found no significant difference in hippocampal size between men and women. Meta-analysis is a statistical technique that allows researchers to combine the findings from many independent studies into a comprehensive review. The team examined findings from 76 published papers, involving more than 6,000 healthy individuals.

"Sex differences in the brain are irresistible to those looking to explain stereotypic differences between men and women," said Dr. Eliot. "They often make a big splash, in spite of being based on small samples. But as we explore multiple data sets and are able to coalesce very large samples of males and females, we find these differences often disappear or are trivial."

Hippocampi are located on both sides of the brain, under the cerebral cortex. The team's findings challenge the common claim that a disproportionately larger hippocampus explains females' tendency toward greater emotional expressiveness, stronger interpersonal skills, and better verbal memory.

"Many people believe there is such a thing as a 'male brain' and a 'female brain,'" Dr. Eliot said. "But when you look beyond the popularized studies -- at collections of all the data -- you often find that the differences are minimal."

The study appears in the journal NeuroImage.

Meta-analyses by other investigators have also disproved other purported sex differences in the brain, Dr. Eliot noted. There is no difference in the size of the corpus callosum, white matter that allows the two sides of the brain to communicate, nor do men and women differ in the way their left and right hemispheres process language.

Story Source:

The above post is reprinted from materials provided by Rosalind Franklin University of Medicine and Science. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length

Early Stress Effects Children’s Brains and is Linked to Depression

Many of you know that I am interested in helping foster children and foster and adoptive parents. This research study as several others I have been reading recently discuss how stress in the early life effects the brain and may diminish the processing of the reward centers of the brain. One of the other studies I have looked at indicates that if you can get children into a healthy parenting home by the age of two the children can recover. When I was trained to be Foster Parent they said children over the age of ten where "unadoptable." They think they are hopeless. I just can’t let myself believe that is true. Here is the research that should motivate all of us to help children get into healthy loving homes as soon as possible.

Date: October 29, 2015 Source:Elsevier

Summary: Early life stress is a major risk factor for later episodes of depression. In fact, adults who are abused or neglected as children are almost twice as likely to experience depression. Scientific research into this link has revealed that the increased risk following such childhood adversity is associated with sensitization of the brain circuits involved with processing threat and driving the stress response. More recently, research has begun to demonstrate that in parallel to this stress sensitization, there may also be diminished processing of reward in the brain and associated reductions in a person's ability to experience positive emotions.

The researchers focused on the ventral striatum, a deep brain region that is important for processing rewarding experiences as well as generating positive emotions, both of which are deficient in depression.

Early life stress is a major risk factor for later episodes of depression. In fact, adults who are abused or neglected as children are almost twice as likely to experience depression.

Scientific research into this link has revealed that the increased risk following such childhood adversity is associated with sensitization of the brain circuits involved with processing threat and driving the stress response. More recently, research has begun to demonstrate that in parallel to this stress sensitization, there may also be diminished processing of reward in the brain and associated reductions in a person's ability to experience positive emotions.

Researchers at Duke University and the University of Texas Health Sciences Center at San Antonio looked specifically at this second phenomenon in a longitudinal neuroimaging study of adolescents, in order to better understand how early life stress contributes to depression.

They recruited 106 adolescents, between the ages of 11-15, who underwent an initial magnetic resonance imaging scan, along with measurements of mood and neglect. The study participants then had a second brain scan two years later.

"Our analyses revealed that over a two-year window during early to mid-adolescence, there was an abnormal decrease in the response of the ventral striatum to reward only in adolescents who had been exposed to emotional neglect, a relatively common form of childhood adversity where parents are persistently emotionally unresponsive and unavailable to their children," explained first author Dr. Jamie Hanson.

"Importantly, we further showed that this decrease in ventral striatum activity predicted the emergence of depressive symptoms during this key developmental period," he added. "Our work is consistent with other recent studies finding deficient reward processing in depression, and further underscores the importance of considering such developmental pathways in efforts to protect individuals exposed to childhood adversity from later depression."

This study suggests that, in some people, early life stress compromises the capacity to experience enthusiasm or pleasure. In addition, the effect of early life stress may grow over time so that people who initially appear resilient may develop problems later in life.

"This insight is important because it suggests a neural pathway through which early life stress may contribute to depression," said Dr. John Krystal, Editor of Biological Psychiatry. "This pathway might be targeted by neural stimulation treatments. Further, it suggests that survivors of early life trauma and their families may benefit from learning about the possibility of consequences that might appear later in life. This preparation could help lead to early intervention."

Story Source: The above post is reprinted from materials provided by Elsevier. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. Jamie L. Hanson, Ahmad R. Hariri, Douglas E. Williamson. Blunted Ventral Striatum Development in Adolescence Reflects Emotional Neglect and Predicts Depressive Symptoms. Biological Psychiatry, 2015; 78 (9): 598 DOI: 10.1016/j.biopsych.2015.05.010

Elsevier. "Early life stress and adolescent depression linked to imp

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

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