How to Give End of the Year Feedback –
Motivation and Change, or Pain and Why You Should Make Sure Your Boss Knows
Your Value Before That End of the Year Review.
A few years ago, I received a strange end-of-the-year
feedback email from a long-term client that was the antithesis of everything I
ever taught about how to give feedback to your clients, vendors, and employees.
At first, I was excited to receive an end-of-year email from this client; I was
expecting a heartfelt thank you, some praise, and a “Happy New Year!” For more
than 20 years, I had been this company's highest-rated contracted speaker. I
had designed and conducted hundreds of programs for their wonderful audiences
and gotten rave reviews..
This year, however, the tone of the email was
surprising. It was not written to me personally — a contracted consultant — but
seemed to be addressed to an anonymous problematic part-time employee. I was
shocked.
The client contact I had for many years was a friend,
but she had retired. This email came from my new contact. I had tried to get to
know this new contact, especially since she had never seen me give a
presentation and her office was in another state, but I didn’t try hard enough.
That was a big mistake on my part.
Since she was based in another state, I tried to set up
an introductory visit via the phone, but she emailed me to say that she is “not
a phone person.” When I communicated via email, she would only respond in
formal one-sentence replies. After my programs, she would only email me a
computer-generated form with ratings and critiques from my audiences. The
reviews were always excellent, and I always got 5 out of 5 from my audience
members. When she sent the emails, I always emailed back a few personal
comments and said thank you, expecting tht she would know about my outstanding
ratings.
So, when I got this end-of-the-year review, I was
expecting it to be like the communications I used to get from my previous contact: "Thank you for all your years of rave
reviews."
That is not what I got. Instead of personalized
feedback, I received a form letter, one she sent to all her contract speakers
nationwide. It said that she had reviewed the feedback of all their speakers
from all the audiences for the year and found two top COMPLAINTS. Then, she
listed them.
However, neither of the complaints came from my classes.
They were not my audiences’ responses or
reviews. This negative feedback had nothing to do with me or anything I could
control or change in any way. And I am sure it was publicly humiliating to the
speakers she called out. In addition, there no general positive feedback, no
supportive or motivational comments to any of us. And let me emphasize again,
no personalized feedback saying she recognized my worth — or anyone else’s.
I am sure this email checked off a box on her list of
corporate end-of-year to dos, but it was, at best, de-motivational. I saw this
as a wake-up call about what I had done wrong in my interactions with my
client. And it will forever be an example I will use in my Performance
Appraisal How-to-Give-Effective-Feedback Workshops for what NOT to do.
First, I examined what I had done wrong as a
contractor/employee. I hadn't said, "I know you prefer not to use the
phone, but I’d like to give you a brief five-minute call after I get my email
feedback so we can go over it." I teach the importance of check-ins. I had
done them for years with my previous contact. But I hadn't pushed for that, and
that was my mistake. I expected my work to speak for itself, and it hadn't. My
rave reviews were invisible to my new contact, and I had not made them visible,
nor had I touted the value I brought to the organization. That wasn't smart. I
had also not done anything to let leadership above my direct contact know that
I was an asset.
If you have superiors, are you making sure they see your
work and value? As a leader, do you know the best way to communicate feedback?
Here are some highlights from my feedback program:
1)
No surprises,
and most importantly, no bad feedback that you have been saving up and now feel
pressured to give it out at the end of the year. Negative feedback should be
given immediately after the negative behavior has occurred. Ideally, it should
be given face-to-face over zoom or the phone. You can follow my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method and book me for coaching and/or a workshop on how
to do this effectively. If you still feel the need to give negative feedback
via email, pause and call me first. Let’s talk through the situation. No
charge. Just call me!
2) Be specific, positive, and
personal in your feedback. What did the recipient of your feedback do, be
specific? How many times did they do it? Who did their positive behavior
affect, and what was the positive, concrete result of their positive
action? I lay this all out with examples in my E.R.A.S.E.R. Method. If you want to run it by me, you can email me, and I
will help you because it's important to do this well.
3) End your message with an extra
thank you—ideally, something from the heart. Even if you're a left-brain,
just-the-facts type of person, you should do this.
The email I got years ago was a
wake-up call for me.
I hope it
inspires you to do two things: make sure you have a good relationship with your
clients, bosses, and managers. Make sure they know how you are doing and how
valuable you are.
Second, if you
are a leader, do your best to have good relationships with your employees. Make
sure you know what they are doing and how they are doing. Give them effective,
specific praise and criticism to support and motivate them.
If you're
reading this article in my newsletter, I have more than likely met you and shaken
your hand, and I hope you know how valuable you are!
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at
. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at