I just finished writing a
rough version of the chapter on gossip for my new book People Savvy. Here are a
few notes:
There are some people that are fed by the rush that comes from making somebody else feel small, less than perfect. It makes the gossiper feel in control and superior. They will plant little seeds, subtle putdowns about their "target/victim."
The group begins to look for those behaviors in the victim as if it is a treasure hunt. "Did you see the way she ate her salad?" "Did you notice how loudly she laughed." "My god, that outfit she wore was awful." "Doesn't she know how she looks? Triangulation is an easy game. You can always find fault in someone.
Research says gossips gain
energy, bond and derive pleasure from their behind the back-attacking game. Wouldn't
it be great if people gathered and praised those not present? What a wonderful
world it would be. Wouldn't it be mature and loving if you had a problem with someone or felt they
had an issue and you took them aside and gently spoke to them? No one would
ever go home and look in the mirror and wonder why nobody told them they had
spinach between their teeth.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
