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Why Black Women May Smile Less and Get Angry Instead

Why Black Women May Smile Less and Get Angry Instead

Patti, Christelyn Karazin here, the author of the book on interracial and intercultural relationships you spoke with a while back. Can you comment for, www.beyondblackwhite.com, regarding the issue of black women and why many just don't smile. Here's an article for reference: > http://www.theroot.com/views/single-minded-black-girls-puberty from Helena Andrews, author of Bitch Is the New Black.
Here are the rough notes from my response. Christenlyn. Fascinating
  • smiling is sign of appeasement,
  • people with lower status smile more often to get what they want,
  • Women smile more than men in social settings.
  • Men are often uncomfortable when a women who typically smiles in not smiling. (I believe men who say, "why aren't you smiling?' are concerned that a non-smiling women may be angry or trying to assert power if she is not smiling. Each time I taught my Women and Leadership workshops at the Wharton School of Business I would ask how many men have said, "Why aren't you smiling," to you and every woman would raise her hand.
Research also shows:
  • High Status seemingly "Powerful people" smile less, Male or Female
  • Men with more testosterone smile less and are quicker to respond with anger.
Here you have a fascinating and in some ways very sad, cultural and racial switch. So a women says, "I can't smile if I want to be powerful and accepted." to look tough and be accepted by my female peers “I need to sneer, and look like a bitch."
An angry face does get a different response than an appeasing smile. It can feel empowering. But at a great cost.
  • A smile actually changes your brain chemistry so you feel happier.
  • The "facial feedback loop" insures a smile is typically met with a smile from other people.
  • Women who smile are typically seen as more friendly and more attractive
  • Women who smile in the yearbook photos are found to be happier 25 years later.
A sneer is a prickly protective armor. You won't be stomped on, but you may keep people too far away to touch and hold you close. It may feel like it empowers you. Tyler Perry gets laughs by showing angry bitchy sneering non smiling women. The title character in the Stephan King movie Deloris Clayborn says, "Sometimes being a bitch is all you have to hold on to." sometimes the Black angry women in Tyler Perry's movies just complain, but often the angry "bitch" is energized to powerful destructive action. The iconic defiant sneer on the wife in the movie, "Waiting to Exhale" comes to mind. She goes from a happy smiling wife to a sneering ragging tiger getting mad enough at her unfaithful husband that she takes all his clothes and goodies like his golf club and piles them on his Mercedes and sets them on fire. The sneer on her face along with her defiant upraised chin as she watches the flames climb seemed to say to Black Women, stop smiling and taking it, get angry and start taking.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.