I just contributed to a First Date Signals story for Elite Daily. Since my links to stories rarely make it on people's time lines, here are a few of my rough notes from what I shared.
Signs he is into you:
1. The most obvious, and not under their conscious control is pupil dilation.
2. Another is body orientation. Woman love to be face to face, so don’t think he is NOT into you if he wants to sit kitty corner or side by side, that is a guy’s signal they want to self-disclose and connect.
3. Leaning in as he says something positive or leaning in as you say something, for example, you talk about a recent loss and he says, ‘I am so sorry and leans in.’
4. Symbolic reaching - placing his arm on the table so it looks like he wants to touch your arm or hold hands. (I love this as the man is not breaking boundaries and touching, but is showing he wants to!).
5. Touching innocently which means on safe nonsexual parts of the body, like touching you lightly and briefly on the forearm.
6. He smiles big showing his upper front teeth, which men, after the age of five, only do when they are really happy!
7. Raises his eyebrows as he first sees you, he likes what he sees and he wants more of it.
8. Locks eyes and keeps looking at you, and your mouth. His eyes on your mouth means he wants to kiss you.
9. Not wanting to end the date!!! Time is a nonverbal communicator and he wants to spend more time with you.
10. Asking you what you like to do.
11. Giving you every bit of his contact information and telling you where he lives and what his place is like. He wants you to be able to reach him and he wants you to see his place!!!
Signs he is not into you:
1. Short answers to your questions
2. Looking left and right or toward the exit
3. Leaning back and staying leaned back to symbolically leave you!
4. Placing his phone between the two of you. Looking a long time at the menus, or commenting on other people who are around you, instead of focusing on you.
How can you distinguish nervousness from lack of interest.
If he is nervous you will more than likely see repeated “Comfort Cues” like touching his side or adjusting his cuff or moving the silverware as he speaks or after he speaks, showing he is nervous about how HE looks. If he does the not into cues or comfort cues while YOU are sharing something important that he should be listening to that’s a problem.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at
www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at
www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
