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Body Language Read of Kim and Kanye - Ships in the Night!
Kim Kardashian, 34, stole the spotlight from Kanye West, 37, during a September appearance in London. "She looks as though she could be there all by herself," observes Patti. "It's odd that Kanye's almost hidden behind her." Things improved at a recent gala - sort of. "They're looking at each other and having fun, but there is still no tenderness and connection here. It look so fake!"
Patti gives this couple in September a 1 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.
Patti gives this couple in November a 3 on the Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Tips For Self Promotion for Women How to Brag Successfully So You Don't Look Like a Show Off.
Nine Tips for Self-Promotion for Women
How to Brag
Successfully so You Don't Look Like a Show Off
Here are nine tips for the best way to brag
in a politically correct manner and how to
successfully and gracefully self-promote.
Yes, there is a gender-based difference in how men who self-promote are perceived and how women who say their accomplishments are perceived. It can change, but the research still shows that in traditional gender stereotypes men are admired for their work, physical and monetary accomplishments and women for their relationships, nurturing, social accomplishments But, that perception can ONLY change if women are courageous and speak well of their accomplishments without fear. A good rule of thumb when sharing your success is to see how, when and what men are sharing about theirs and by balancing what you share about yourself with admiration and others. By seeing what others do that you respect, and admire and complimenting them directly and speaking well of them to others even when they aren't there.
2. Choose to do things that are worthy of self-promotion.
Be courageous, take risks. By this, I don't mean take on more tasks and be a workaholic, I mean be thoughtful in your choices. Spend your time wisely and with integrity. Volunteer for important projects. Help other team members. Work on committees, (You can choose to be on committees with important people.) Speak up at meetings with great ideas. Take the lead position on projects, suggest and spearhead innovations.
3. Learn to tell a short self-promotional story.
“Last week the most fantastic thing happened... “I had the best week this week……”, “I feel so great about something that happened this week...” and then tell about one specific success. Don’t preface it with how tired you are. Don’t list all you did, or how busy your week was. Tell one very brief story. A hero’s journey is interesting. A recap of your to-do list or rundown of all the things on your outlook calendar is boring. If you have not read, "The Power of Myth" find it or at least read about it so you know what a hero's journey looks and sounds like. Make sure you include brag bites―pieces of relevant facts, such as clients that you’re working with, how long you’ve been in the industry, or a project you’ve recently completed.
4. Be very careful of your tone and nonverbal delivery.
Look at how men get excited and make the telling of their hero’s journey into a fun journey for the listener. Don’t be haughty and don’t hog too much time. Think how men share a sports success story, “I hit a home run, I caught the ball, I made a hole in one." People actually ENJOY listening because they feel the pleasure, excitement of the adventure and challenge along with the storyteller. But remember, women have a narrower band of acceptable delivery options so you can't be over the top and again you must tell a shorter story than a man.
5. Send a thoughtful email to a specific person about your accomplishments.
Men will email what they have done to accomplish their projects and you can do it too. If you see a good example of someone stating an accomplishment in an email you receive the model it. Don't send a group email listing your checked off to-dos. If you are not sure how it sounds read it out loud or try it out on someone who can be brutally honest with you about how it sounds.
6. Make your work visible by spending time with people.
Talk to people who can recommend you. Take influential people out for coffee or lunch, stop by people’s offices and ask what they are up to. Spend productive time-sharing and visiting in the break room.
7. Compliment and "brag on" other women.
When you focus on others accomplishments and notice what is worthy of praise your energy is focused in the right place and you learn what matters. One simple way to give praise is with an introduction. For example, when you introduce your female friends, coworkers and business friends to someone new share their name and an accomplishment. "Jim, this is Sara Beckman, she just headed up the committee for our new quarter sales meeting and it was fantastic." "Tom, this is Morgan Tyler, she just spearheaded the new marketing project." "Karl, this is Veronica Mann, she works with our top client Prudential."
8. Ask other women to brag for you.
If you have established healthy, reciprocal, working relationships with other women it is perfectly acceptable to ask them to help you by giving a brag boost. You can even ask someone to share something specific to someone specific. But if you do this, I advise that you always reciprocate. Be the person that says and shares positive things about others.
9. Be a good listener.
We like people who listen to us and often imbue them with good behaviors. If you want people to listen to you share your successes, be the best listener for them. It will not only make you more discriminating about what and how you self-promote but more importantly it is just gracious behavior.
For other ways to look good at work you can check out other articles.
Five Ways to Give a Great First Impression
http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=11491
Nonverbal Cues of a Good Listener
http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=2323
How Do We Know Someone is Credible within Seconds of Meeting Them?
http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=10452
On a personal note:
When I was in my late thirties, I was at a party with my fiancé at the time and someone asked me what I did for a living. I said, "I am a body language expert and professional speaker."
Later my fiancé chastised me for saying I was a body language expert. I remember going through a cascade of different emotions and revelations at that moment.
First I felt shame at the thought that I could have been inappropriate and a braggart. But then I realized that was not what I should feel. I should feel proud of being an expert. Then a stronger emotion took over and I was angry at my fiancé for not seeing me for all I was. Then I felt disappointment in myself as I realized that he might not even know all that I had accomplished. I had never told him.
But, I did manage to do with him, something I had not done well until that moment, brag. I said, “I have several degrees in nonverbal communication, I taught body language at two universities. My body language class at Florida State averaged 150 students each semester and was voted one of the most popular college courses in the country. I have been researching and consulting on the topic for many years. I have written a book on body language. And I have been speaking on the topic to the top companies around the world for many years. I am an expert!”
I may have been inappropriate and given too
much of a laundry list, but by god, I bragged. It was a seminal
moment. A watershed if you will, where I consciously took pride in what I have done and what I do.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Do People Make You Tired? Introversion and the People Battery Drain Connection
Does being around people make you tired? You may like being with them, but you feel like all that talking and socializing drains your batteries. Depending on your personality people time can energize you or make you want to go home and not talk with anybody. I just read this blog post from an introvert. I get it, According to
the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment I am an Introvert. Yes, that is a big
surprise, a professional speaker and body language expert who is introverted. But many
performers are introverts. We love performing! Its enormous fun. It just means
for me that after I speak and socialize with my audience I need to take time that night or the next to recharge my batteries. I
do that by reading a book on the plane home! I love training on both the DISC Personality training and Myers Briggs Personality. It gives
great insights for teambuilding, sales, customer service and dealing with difficult
people. Here is link to another introvert's blog post.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Read a Real Book Before Bed to Get Better Sleep
Ever since I was a little
girl I have read just before I go to sleep. The books have changed over the
years but I still love to read a real paper book every night. But now I have
developed a new habit that could be effecting my sleep.
If I watch TV in the evening prior to going up to bed, while I watch a movie I look up on my cell phone or Surface computer the director or the actors or the screen writer and that quickly devolves into me no longer watching a terrific movie, to looking up every interview of said, director, actor and screenwriter. Suddenly, I look up at it is 12:00 midnight and I have been staring at a blue light screen for hours. We know we shouldn't look at TV screens and computer screens or cell phone screens before we go to bed, but we do. It is interrupting our melatonin production thus the quantity and quality of our sleep and dreams. Here is the research.
If I watch TV in the evening prior to going up to bed, while I watch a movie I look up on my cell phone or Surface computer the director or the actors or the screen writer and that quickly devolves into me no longer watching a terrific movie, to looking up every interview of said, director, actor and screenwriter. Suddenly, I look up at it is 12:00 midnight and I have been staring at a blue light screen for hours. We know we shouldn't look at TV screens and computer screens or cell phone screens before we go to bed, but we do. It is interrupting our melatonin production thus the quantity and quality of our sleep and dreams. Here is the research.
Online survey reveals new
epidemic of sleeplessness.
Date - April 3, 2014
Source - University of Hertfordshire
Summary
Nearly six in ten (59%)
people in Britain are sleep deprived, new research shows. 78% of people are
exposed to disruptive blue light from computers and smartphones before going to
bed, and only 10% of people strongly agree that they have pleasant dreams. A
new article outlines some steps people can take to improve their sleeping
experience.
New
online research, conducted to coincide with the publication of Professor
Richard Wiseman's latest book Night School, suggests that nearly six in
ten (59%) of adults in Britain -- over 28 million people -- are now sleep
deprived and getting seven hours or less sleep each night. This is a
significant increase on the 2013 figure of thirty-nine per cent taken from a
previous study.
Richard Wiseman, professor
in the Public Understanding of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire,
commented: "This is a huge rise, and the results are extremely worrying
because getting less than seven hours sleep a night is below the recommended guidelines,
and is associated with a range of problems, including an increased risk of
weight gain, heart attacks, diabetes and cancer."
To assess one potential
cause of the sleeplessness epidemic, respondents were also asked whether they
used a computer, smartphone or tablet in the two hours before going to bed.
"The blue light from
these devices suppress the production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin,
and so it's important to avoid them before bedtime," commented Wiseman.
Seventy-eight per cent (78%)
of respondents indicated that they use such devices during this period. Among
18-24 year olds this figure increases to a remarkable ninety-one per cent
(91%).
"The 2013 survey
revealed that around 57% of people in the UK were using these devices, so we are
seeing a significant rise in the amount of blue light before bedtime,"
said Wiseman.
The survey also suggested
that the vast majority of people's dreams are far from sweet, with just ten per
cent (10%) of respondents strongly agreeing with the statement 'I would
describe my dreams as pleasant'.
Professor Wiseman noted:
"The dream data revealed considerable variation across the UK, with those
in London and the Southwest agreeing the most, and those in the Northwest and
Midlands agreeing the least."
Ten science-based tips have
been compiled by Professor Wiseman to help the country get a better night's
sleep.
10 science-based tips to a
better night's sleep:
1)
Banish the blues: Avoid using computers, smartphones or tablets in the two
hours before you head to bed. The blue light stimulates your brain and prevents
you feel sleepy.
2)
The list: Make a list of all of the things that you have to do the next day or
that are playing on your mind. This helps prevent you lying in bed thinking
about these issues.
3)
Tire your brain: If you are struggling to sleep, make your brain tired by
thinking of an animal for each letter of the alphabet ('A' is for 'Ant', 'B' is
for 'Bear').
4)
Move your bed: You have evolved to feel safe when you can spot danger early and
have time to run away, and so will feel most relaxed when your bed faces the
door and is furthest from it.
5)
Reach for a banana: Eat a banana before you head to bed. They're rich in
carbohydrates, and these help relax your body and brain.
6)
Reverse psychology: Actively trying to stay awake actually makes you feel
tired, so try keeping your eyes open and focus on not falling asleep.
7)
Wear socks: If you have bad circulation, your feet will get cold and cause
sleeplessness. To avoid the problem, wear a pair of warm socks to bed.
8)
Avoid the lure of the nightcap: Although a small amount of alcohol puts you to
sleep quicker, it also gives you a more disturbed night and disrupts dreaming.
9)
The power of association: Ensure that the same piece of soporific music is quietly
playing each time you fall asleep. Over time you'll come to associate the music
with sleep, and so listening to it will help you to nod off.
10)
Do a jigsaw: If you lie awake for more than twenty minutes, get up and do
something non-stimulating for a few minutes, such as working on a jigsaw.
UK Dream Data
The percentage of people in
each region strongly agreeing to the statement 'In general, I would describe my
dreams as pleasant' was as follows: London 13% South West 13% Scotland 12%
Yorkshire and the Humber 12% North East 11% South East 10% East of England 10%
Wales 9% North West 7% West Midlands 7% East Midlands 6%
Story Source:
The above story is based on
materials provided by University of Hertfordshire. Note: Materials may be
edited for content and leng
Why You Should Bragg and Tips for Self Promotion
My friend Sue and I have known each other since grad school
and have always supported each other’s success. She is a wonderful and talented
author and beloved English professor and I am a body language expert and
professional speaker. Sue arranged for me to speak to the student body of her
university.
On the day of my speech, we went over my intro and I showed her
how to turn on my 40-secound intro video with snippets of newscasters and TV show
hosts introducing me on their show. We
got the room early and I put little bios and business cards on all the seats in
the auditorium. As professors and students came in I introduced myself, “Hello
my name is Patti I am your speaker today.” I gave my speech and then spent another half
hour with students gathered around me asking questions.
All these were things that I did for every speech, but my
friend said, “Patti, watching you do those things changed everything I thought
about my career.” "At first, I thought,
“Goodness, Patti is going over the top with all this bragging about herself in
the intros and then I noticed how people responded to you even before you
started speaking." "I have watched 100’s of speakers in that same Venue but they
were treating you with a feeling of honor and respect that I have never seen. I had thought originally the video and intro was too much, but I could see them get excited and
lean forward in their seats during the intro." "During your speech, you gave brief specific
examples of how you used your body language expertise to solve a client’s
problems used it to analyze the president for the Today Show or CNN. Each
example illustrated a learning point, and gave you an increased level of credibility
with the audience." "But here is the funny
thing Patti is I have had the opportunity my entire career to promoting myself the way
you did and I have never done it because I thought I was bragging!
I told her she was a
remarkable author and speaker and should own it and start self-promoting
because men do so all the time! If the
word bragging calls it self-confidence, call it, self-promotion. I shared that for
years I wanted to be a successful speaker but,
I never bragged and was too shy too fearful of being seen as cocky. I
worked hard, but I not in the big leagues.
I looked around and realized that the male speakers would talk
about their success all the time. I noticed when I spoke the men would actually
stand around before and after meetings and brag about the terrific job they did on a
project, the great deal that they just made or the golf game or their new car.
For men, it is a way of showing their colleagues what they can do so that their
peers feel confident in recommending them for projects promotions and jobs. It is an effective way to communicate. Sue quickly started using the same
self-promotion techniques. Doing this, and her hard work, led her to earn a
tenured position and the raise she had long wanted and deserved.
Tips for Self Promotion
Tips for Self Promotion
1.
Yes, there is a gender-based difference in how
men who self-promote are perceived and how women who say the same kind of things about themselves are perceived. But, that perception can
ONLY change if women are courageous and speak well of their accomplishments
without fear.
2.
Learn to tell a great short self-promotional
story. “Last week the most fantastic
thing happened... “I had the best week this week……”, “I feel so great about
something that happened this week..” and then tell about one specific success.
Don’t preface it with how tired you are. Don’t list all you did, or how busy
your week was. Tell one very brief story. A hero's journey is interesting. A recap of your to-do list or passage from your outlook calendar is boring. If
you have not read, "The Power of Myth" find it or at least read
about it so you know what a hero's journey looks and sounds like.
3.
Be very careful of your tone and nonverbal
delivery. Look at how men get excited
and make the telling of their hero's journey into a fun journey for the
listener. Don’t be haughty, don’t hog
too much time. Think how men share a sports success, “I hit a home run, I
caught the ball, I made a hole in one" story and people actually ENJOY listening
because they feel the pleasure and excitement the adventure and challenge along
with the storyteller.
4.
Men will email what they have done to accomplish
their projects. If you see a good example of someone stating and accomplishment in an email you receive and model it.
5.
Do things that are visible to others. Get on
committees with important people. Speak up at meetings. Talk to people who can
recommend you. Take influential people out for coffee or lunch, stop by
people’s offices and ask what they are up to.
6.
Get another woman to brag for you. Tell other
women what you have done and ask her to brag for you. Reciprocate. Be the person that says shares positive stories about others.
7. When you introduce your female friends and coworkers and business friends to someone new introduce them along with an accomplishment. "Jim this is Sara Beckman, she just headed up the committee for our new quarter sales meeting and it was fantastic."
7. When you introduce your female friends and coworkers and business friends to someone new introduce them along with an accomplishment. "Jim this is Sara Beckman, she just headed up the committee for our new quarter sales meeting and it was fantastic."
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