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How Do We Become More Sympathetic and Helpful? What Creates Good Character?

How Do We Become More Sympathetic and Helpful?
What Creates Good Character?

Relationship between sympathy, helping others could provide clues to development of altruism

Recently one of my book groups read David Brooks, “The Road to Character.” It was a fascinating book though I didn't feel the people he chose to write about had character in the way I define it, they did help others through good work. This research article shares insights into how helping others can build sympathy.

Research could help inform interventions to promote positive behaviors in adolescents

Date September 29, 2015
Source: University of Missouri-Columbia

Summary: Developmental psychologists long have debated whether individuals volunteer and help others because they are sympathetic or whether they are sympathetic because they are prosocial. Now, new research helps clarify some of the confusion.
Developmental psychologists long have debated whether individuals volunteer and help others because they are sympathetic or whether they are sympathetic because they are prosocial. Now, new research from the University of Missouri helps clarify some of the confusion, which could lead to better interventions to promote positive behaviors in adolescents and clues as to what makes some individuals altruistic.
"As researchers, we've known about the link between sympathy and prosocial behavior, such as volunteering and helping others, for a long time, but we didn't have much evidence about the nature of the relationship," said Gustavo Carlo, Millsap Professor of Diversity in MU's College of Human Environmental Sciences. "We demonstrated that a reciprocal relationship existed between prosocial behaviors and sympathy for adolescents from ages 12 to 16. Sympathy predicted prosocial behaviors, but also engaging in earlier prosocial behaviors positively predicted later sympathy."
Engaging in prosocial behaviors has a self-reinforcing quality that eventually may become incorporated into how adolescents view their moral selves; this may help explain how some individuals, over time, become more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors and become more sympathetic, Carlo said.
"This research has tremendous implications for understanding those individuals who we think of as moral exemplars, individuals who commit themselves to certain causes or other forms of generosity -- people such as Mahatma Ghandi, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King Jr. and others," Carlo said. "We want to know which developmental processes led these individuals to eventually manifest altruistic behaviors that set them apart from other individuals. For every one of those individuals who became famous, thousands of others exist who are doing fantastic work and helping to improve our society on a day-to-day basis."
For the study, the researchers recruited 500 12-year-olds to answer questions about sympathy and prosocial behaviors. The researchers questioned the adolescents four more times, each about a year apart, to observe changes in the adolescents' behavior and sympathy over time. The researchers observed a decline in sympathy among boys in early adolescence, but a steady increase followed the dip as the boys matured. Girls had higher levels of sympathy and prosocial behaviors at all ages.
To increase prosocial behaviors among adolescents, and among boys in particular, attention should focus on changing the societal environment so it encourages boys and girls to express their prosociality, Carlo said.
"Unfortunately, in our society, the pressures for boys to act tough and to not express what's seen as a sign of weakness is suppressing prosocial behaviors," Carlo said. "We need to pay attention to adolescents' contexts and their socialization groups. Prosocial behaviors clearly are natural tendencies, and unfortunately, some cultural contexts make it difficult for adolescents to express those tendencies, which should be signs of strength and not weakness. We need to get that message across and make it easier for kids to express what's innately inside of them."

Story Source:
The above post is reprinted from 
materials provided by University of Missouri-ColumbiaNote: Materials may be edited for content and length

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

President Obama and Putin's Body Language During United Nations Meeting in New York.

President Obama and Putin's Body Language during United Nations Meeting in New York

I did a piece this morning for ABC News on the body language of President Obama and President Putin during their time together at the United Nations in New York.  Here is the piece followed by the videos I analyzed. http://bit.ly/1KJ09ir.


Body language expert: Obama's disgust' on display in 'forced' encounters with Putin

By Amanda Ota Tuesday, September 29th 2015



United States President Barack Obama, right, and Russia's President Vladimir Putin pose for members of the media before a bilateral meeting Monday, Sept. 28, 2015, at United Nations headquarters. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)






WASHINGTON (SINCLAIR BROADCAST GROUP) — President Obama is done playing politics when it comes to Russian President Vladimir Putin, based on his interactions with the world leader at the United Nations on Monday.
"He's letting the world know he is not very happy with Putin" explained Body Language Expert Patti Wood.
While most politicians have their "game face" that shows that nothing bothers them, Wood said Obama made the choice to use his body language to express his feelings toward Putin on Monday.
Overall, Wood described, Obama used "a cluster of cues" to tell Putin "I don't respect and honor you enough to give you my time, to enjoy this process or enjoy this moment.. I'm being forced to do this"
While Wood explained that Obama has been more likely to show his displeasure in certain situations than other Presidents she has observed "this was really obvious."
"It is highly unusual to show that much emotion," Wood noted.
Wood described Obama's body language "was more disgust than displeasure it was more profound he made the choice to say I'm displeased, I'm disgusted, I don't want to have a relationship with you."
"Obama feels strongly enough to show his feelings to the entire world," Wood said, and everyone is paying attention.
"The whole world is noticing this," Wood commented.
Obama appeared pained to even be in the same room as Putin for a photo opportunity. Wood noticed that he didn't' walk all the way into the room where members of the press were eagerly snapping photos.
"Usually a handshake approach in those kinds of setting everything is slowed down for the camera Obama did a couple of things to make it short and brief."
Making the moment as short as possible, Wood said, Obama "showed his dislike and disrespect."
Keeping the photo opportunity brief was just one of the actions Obama took to show his disrespect for Putin, Wood noticed. Describing the handshake itself, Wood noticed Obama "swung out his fingers like he wanted to smack Putin up the side of his face."
Wood described the way Obama "flung out his fingers" as a "weapon gesture" which she said is not often seen in a stylized handshake.
Wood saw no indication that Putin was phased by Obama's cold demeanor. She noted that during the handshake "Putin went on top, to show his power and control and his dominance, that's just the way he is, that isn't purely situational."
Analyzing the smirk Putin was caught making while toasting with Obama during lunch, Wood explained that a smirk is an indication that a person is feeling one thing, but having to act in a different way. Putin's smirk, Wood analyzed was him thinking "I'm so much better than this, I'm so much smarter than them this is just ridiculous that I have to be here."
The notion of having to be present against their will may have been the only mutual feeling Obama and Putin shared Monday. Asked to sum up the interactions between the two world leaders Wood described them as "forced."

Video of their photo opportunity is in the first few seconds of this:




Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Weird Boss Behaviors You Shouldn't Overthink

Weird Boss Behaviors You Shouldn't Overthink
So your manager's email style is questionable. Cut her some slack.
Before freaking out over your manager's frequent late arrivals to your meetings, find out why she is tardy.

By Laura McMullen Sept. 21, 2015 | 11:14 a.m. EDT + More
What would you give to be able to call out your boss on every annoying thing he or she does? What percentage of your paycheck, part of your soul or expendable phalanges would you sacrifice for the freedom to threaten to fire her if she's late to another one of your meetings?
Of course, these aren't questions your manager has to dwell on. She's allowed to point out all your not-so-endearing quirks – free of charge for her and her soul. You, on the other hand – or rather, on the other end of the totem pole – are typically better letting her frustrating habits slide. But before diving into another firing fantasy, ask yourself: How big of a deal is it, really, that she's late to your meetings?
Maybe it seems like a grander gesture than it really is, because managers' actions and words often feel loaded to employees. Skip Weisman, leadership and workplace communication expert, gives an example about a manager he trains: The manager's employees pointed out that every time the team comes to her with an issue, she lets out a sigh. Tiny breath, huge effect. From the manager's point of view, the sigh is for her – it's a beat where she can adjust to the new situation and wrap her head around a solution. But to the employees, it seemed like the manager was exasperated or even angry that they handed her the issue.
"Bosses have a huge impact on the people below them," Weisman says. So you're probably not the only one keeping track of how often your boss arrives late to your meetings or obsessing over a six-word request he emailed you. Some things you have to just let fly, and others may be worth mentioning.
Here's a guide to a few common, but weird, boss behaviors:
Your boss's emails are always short – curt, even. You spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect project-update email to your manager. You triple-check the facts and obliterate typos. You obsess over word choice. You suffer a near breakdown debating between "Hi Bob," "Hello Bob," "Hey Bob" or the always-bold (but too bold?) "Bob –."
And then – behold – your boss's reply: "Sounds good." Or: "Thnaks" Or: "K."
Or maybe it's your boss emailing you first, with fewer words than most texts: "Please [do X]." End of email. That's it. "They make a request, and then they're done," says Patti Wood, body language and communication expert and author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma." "There's no preamble; there's no small talk; there's no 'how are the kids' kind of thing." It feels a lot like a pre-breakup epiphany: I'm putting so much more effort into this (email) relationship than he is.

For better or for worse, those short, seemingly careless emails may be pretty typical of bosses. In 2012, Eric Gilbert, an assistant professor in Georgia Institute of Technology's School of Interactive Computing, published a study that analyzed emails between Enron employees. He found that people often vary their communication styles depending on if they're writing to a boss versus a colleague or subordinate. For example, emails he analyzed from bosses to employees were more likely to contain spelling errors. And emails sent to bosses were less likely to show "cognitive process" – working out a problem as you type – than emails to subordinates or colleagues. In other words: You're not the only one who will pine over an email to a boss before sending, but then bang one out to your colleague. (And your boss isn't the only one who makes typos.)
So try not to read too much into succinct emails – not that there are many words to read into, anyway. When managers shoot off these quick replies and requests, "they think they're being expedient and using their time effectively," Wood says. She adds that, in some situations, the succinctness can be interpreted as flattering. Your manager doesn't need to hold your hand through a five-paragraph email or outline every detail of a request or reply. "Think of it like: 'OK, they sent this to me because I can take care of it,'" she says.
He yells more than speaks. Remember that old "Saturday Night Live" Weekend Update segment in which Will Ferrell plays a guest who can't control the volume of his voice and thus yells everything he says? Maybe your boss suffers the same fictional "voice immodulation" disease.
Wood says speaking ​too loudly is sometimes a trait of the "driver" personality type. "Inside their heads, they don't know how loud and abusive it is," she says of these yellers. "They're trying to be expedient – and guess what? It works."​ (For a real-life example, consider a presidential candidate whose name rhymes with "rump.")
To be clear, there's a difference between being loud and being abusive. (Here's a real example of a boss whose yelling is a form of abuse, along with tips for how to cope.) ​​One way to decide if you should forgive this yelling as a personality trait or take it personally is to observe how your boss speaks to everyone else. If he is yelling only at you, that's a problem, Wood says. But if he does that with everyone, she says "it really doesn't have anything to do with you." And if your boss has otherwise nurtured an open, cooperative environment, you might want to gently point out the issue to him, she adds.

Laura McMullen is the Careers editor at U.S. News and was previously a Health + Wellness reporter. You can follow her on Twitter, connect with her on LinkedIn, circle her on Google+ or email her at lmcmullen@usnews.com.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Lonley People's Brains Work Differently

Did you ever have a song play in your head like, “Ah, look at all the lonely people?” That’s the old Eleanor Rigby Beatles tune.  Consider a new research finding that the brains of lonely people are not looking for smiles and laughter to cheer them up, instead, because we are wired for survival, and isolated people are more vulnerable, they remain vigilant looking for perceived threats such as frowns or sneers. So smile a few more times today and look for happy faces to make the world a more warm and welcoming place. 

Link to research:

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/08/lonely-peoples-brains-work-differently.html

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Give Receive and Share Video

Give Receive and Share Video

You will be so glad you watched this video. It shares in a few minutes what an open heart will do. This is the message of all my work. I would love everyone I know to see it!  My goodness how special.

https://www.facebook.com/willemvanleunen/videos/10203604114957868/?pnref=story

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.Share Video