Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Why Technology is Stressing Us Out? Technology and the Brain.

Why Technology is Stressing Us Out? Technology and the Brain

I was speaking at a private school this week and the teacher updated me on some of the latest research on the brain being done at Emory University. It is very interesting so stick with it.

The pruning of (reduction) neural pathways in the brain when we are young is based on how we use our brain. The brain prunes pathways we don’t use and keeps the neural pathways we use the most.
The ones laid down when we are highly focused on activities like reading a book or having a deep conversation are deeper and have more capacity like wide superhighways. They can handle more information overload when we are under stress like a highway can handle more cars in commute time than a surface road.
The neural pathways laid down for the quick shallow decisions we make when we are on technology such as, “I want this email I don’t want this one.” “I want this website in my Google search I don’t want that one.” are shallow and thin pathways that actually break apart under stress because of their low capacity, like a bridge could collapse if to many cars and trucks are on it at the same time. This is kind neural pathways that young people are forming the most.
If we don’t have focused attention and deep social bonds and therefore only have the shallow, narrow, neural pathways formed with our use of technology we have trouble handling stress. We may feel overwhelmed and helpless and unable to make a decision. We may have panic attacks, freeze in place, get sick or call our mommies for help. Any one that uses technology a lot can form more shallow narrow pathways and therefore have less ability to think and function under stress.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Funny Christmas Card Quotes

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

~Larry Wilde

Decorate your homes with lots of mistletoe... this won't really help the environment... But more kissing has got to be good for world peace.

~Arlo Guthrie

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

~Anonymous

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
~Jay Leno

"Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family... "
~Berke Breathed

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
~Tom Armstrong

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
~Victor Borge

You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
~Robert Paul

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.
~Dave Barry

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!
~Charles Dickens, in A Christmas Carol

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
~Joan Rivers

Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
~Anonymous

Should I Check E-Mail? What Are the Rules?

Read the Text or Not, Funny Cartoon about the Disrespect of Texting While You are With Someone

Does Angelina Jolie Really Have Chicken Pox? Angelina's Body Language, is She Lying?

A body language expert Patti Wood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnxoEIJMsUc

Is Angelina lying about her Chicken Pox. Well, I can tell you she is having a really good time telling the world she can’t go to her Unbroken Events because she has Chicken Pox.

She starts the recording with the words “I just want to be clear and honest.” These are not the typical words of someone who is just sending out a message that she has Chicken Pox. These are not the normal first words for any apology stantement, the baseline of a normal “I am sick” announcement is to start with what you are most upset about which should be, "I am sick!" In an honest message the emotional message comes out first. It is a limbic brain response. Typically your nonverbal delivery will also show your emotions. You should see her have the facial expressions of pain, or discomfort of being sick and or contriteness at having to miss the events. Instead she has a rather frozen face and monotones delivery of very logical words, “I just want to be clear and honest.” The words themselves are words a liar uses before they lie. Honest people don’t say they have to be clear and honest.”

Next notice in the video what she does with her head as she says, “…Clear and honest.” See how her head jerks back as she says it. I call that a "heat retreat." We retreat under threat, and liars often, pull back or retreat in some way when they are lying. She could have the Chicken Pox, but she does NOT want to be clear and honest in this message.

Also notice what happens as she says the words Chicken Pox. On the YouTube video this is a the .17 time marker. She smiles. Yes, sometimes people give a cover smile when delivering bad news, but this is not a cover smile. The corners of the mouth go down in a cover smile and the eyes don't typically move. Notice how the coursers of both sides of her mouth go up, her eyebrows go up and her eyes open and most significantly her head goes up. We go up when we are happy and joyful. She is happy. Yes, oddly she is happy not sad, that is not a surprised smile. That is a happy smile.

Notice that her eyes are not inflamed, as they might be if she had chicken pox, notice though her voice is lowered it is forced and has subdued strength. It is not scratchy and strained as it might be for someone who has chicken pox. She might have them, but they have not hit full force yet.

Finally, one of the most interesting statements is “I just can’t believe it.” If you watch her say that statement, you see it is sincere. It has the normal FEEL SHOW SAY of an honest statement. You see her go back slightly, you see the surprise on her face, you’re here her voice change and then you hear the words silvered that match that emotional statement of disbelief. But here is the thing. She could be in disbelief about Chicken Pox. But the pause before she makes that statement in the context of what she is saying is long, and sometimes liars, hold a true thought in the mind and they talk about something they are lying about in order to have an authentic delivery. In this case she could authentically be in disbelief that she has the chicken pox, but she could also be in that moment be thinking about and in disbelief about the emails about her that where released.

In any case she is not normal in much of her nonverbal delivery at anytime and she is not normal in the delivery of her I have Chicken Pox delivery.

Late last night I got a call to read this video for Radaronline, but know that they misquoted me. This have me saying things I did not say. For example I did not say, "She was giving her worst acting..." and I did not say, "There are a couple of physical things that are obvious." http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/12/angelina-jolie-body-lanugage-rips-apart-patt-wood/

Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney Body Language Read in Life & Style Next Week

Check next week's Life & Style for Patti's body language read of Taylor Kinney and Lady Gaga.

Top Six Classic Christmas Movies

The Best Christmas Movies in Black and White that are Undiscovered Gems

I am a purest when it comes to Christmas tree lights. Though every Christmas of my young life, my dad spent hours stringing the big green, yellow and blue colored bulbs on our tree. My first little tree when I was in grad school and all the tree lights since have been white.

Maybe it relates to my favorite Christmas movies, which are all black and white. I am a huge classic movie fan. I love how well written and well-acted they are. I love how funny and innocent they are. Children don’t talk back to their parents. Couples are kind to one another and there is no horror, seldom nastiness and the good guy or gal always wins. I had a black and white TV well into the 90s because my main TV viewing was classic black and white movies. So, it makes sense that at Christmas my favorite films, except for White Christmas are in black and white. (And even White Christmas is a remake of the black and white film Holiday Inn.) In classic Christmas movies the stories are simple and heartwarming, but unlike many current Hallmark and Lifetime holiday movies the dialogue is clever and the acting is fabulous. Several of these movies have had modern remakes, but stick with the originals.

Here are the six classic films that I watch every year!

Christmas in Connecticut (1945)
One of my absolute favorites!

Barbara Stanwyck as a big-city food writer, who, it turns out, can’t cook and doesn’t have the country farm she claims to own. Unfortunately, those facts are not known to the magazine’s owner (the incomparable Sydney Greenstreet of “Casablanca” and “The Maltese Falcon” fame), who believes his writer is a married homemaker. He not only directs her to provide a Christmas meal for a recovering war veteran, he decides to join them. Hilarity, as they say, ensues. The war hero, Jefferson Jones, is played by one of the sweetest actors Dennis Morgan.

Holiday Affair (1949)
It is a romantic comedy from 1949. Robert Mitchum, Janet Leigh (from Pyscho), Wendell Corey and Harry Morgan star in the film. Set during the holiday season in New York City, this story centers on a war widow, who is a secret shopper for a large department store. She brings home a big toy train that she has to return as part of her work, and her little boy finds it. She runs into a war veteran and a complicated romance with hilarity ensues.

The Shop Around the Corner (1940)

Most people have heard about or seen Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life,” but this movie is not so famous little gem. Stewart is working in a shop, only to find that the pen pal he has fallen in love with is a co-worker named Klara (Margaret Sullavan) who he can’t stand. Frank Morgan of “Wizard of Oz” fame is store owner Hugo Matuschek, and Joseph Schildkraut turns in a fine performance as Stewart’s nemesis, Ferencz Vadas. This, of course, was remade as “You’ve Got Mail.” “Shop” is infinitely better.

The Man Who Came to Dinner (1942)

The wittiest of the Christmas movies starts Monty Woolley stars as acerbic theater critic Sheridan Whiteside, the man who came to dinner, broke his leg on an icy patch and seemingly never plans to leave. There is slapstick comedy and very funny dialogue. The cast includes Bette Davis, Ann Sheridan, Billie Burke and Jimmy Durante.

The Thin Man (1934)

This is one of my favorite movies, period! I love the whole Thin Man series. It’s, not a traditional Christmas movie, but this murder whodunit starring William Powell and Myrna Loy as married sleuths Nick and Nora Charles is set at Christmastime. The chemistry between the leads is a delight to watch and the dialogue is as snappy as it gets a Christmas gift in itself. By the way, the title doesn’t refer to Powell’s character, but to the missing professor he’s trying to track down.

Holiday (1938)

It is a 1938 film directed by George Cukor, a remake of the 1930 film of the same name.

I love love love this film. It is actually up in my top five films of all time right after Shashank Redemption. It’s a very playful and funny romantic comedy which tells the story of a man who has worked hard since he was a young boy to achieve great success and now plans to enjoy life to its fullest. He meets a girl and plans to get married. His wealthy finance makes him choose between his free-thinking lifestyle or her and the big wedding gift of a house, with attached the tradition (and drudgery), of her wealthy family. The movie was adapted by Donald Ogden Stewart and Sidney Buchman from the play by Philip Barry and stars Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant and features Doris Nolan, Lew Ayres, and Edward Everett Horton, who played the same role he had played in the 1930 version.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Joe and Sofia

Christmas Rituals for the Family

Christmas Tree Treasure Hunt

On Christmas day in the evening when I was growing up our family had a special holiday ritual. Santa and his smallest elves do something just for us little kids so we would stay excited all day even after the big presents under the tree were unwrapped. I was the youngest so a little after the Christmas turkey and mashed potatoes had been eaten at dinner I would swing my little legs at the table with impatience waiting for the grownups to finish talking so my sisters and I could rush to the Christmas tree. Hidden deep in the branches I would find the special little presents Santa and his elves hid for my sisters and me. We always knew which presents were for who. One Christmas I found little miniature cooking utensils for my dolls and another Christmas I found five little golden rings. Funny I don’t remember all my big presents but I remember the joy of the little ones. The hidden presents were always something unique, a true surprise never something we asked for. Goodness the tree treasure hunt was fun.

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

My favorite Christmas ritual has nothing to do with presents. On Christmas morning my sisters and I would always pile into bed with my parents and wake them up. We would snuggle in bed as a family and giggle and talk about what we thought Santa had brought us. One Christmas morning my sisters and I were a little too grown up for the bed, when the three of us jumped on it to join our parents it broke! We all ended up on the bed flat on the floor laughing like crazy.

Whatever your faith, whatever your holiday or special meaningful events, your life is full of warm, fun loving stories to add to your speeches. My body language website has 7 Plus Great Tips for Holiday Parties. Find out about Santa’s true message by searching on the site for Santa's Body Language.

Why Men Brag

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2692775/Its-official-men-BIG-HEADED-Males-likely-brag-talents-lie-shortcomings.html

The other night a girlfriend and I met for dinner and because the restaurant was crowded we sat at the bar. We struck up a conversation with an older gentleman at the bar and we asked him about his life. He was obviously smitten with my friend. Looking over me to lock eyes with her and talk to her. He shared his many fascinating jobs, a list of accomplishments in the community, powerful people he worked with and places he has lived and traveled to throughout the world. We were impressed. He has had an extremely interesting life, and I know why he was “bragging”, but his long list struck me as particularly interesting as I am currently writing an article on bragging. Why do you think that men brag? Here are some of the reasons for men bragging found in the newest research.

It's official - men are BIG-HEADED: Males are more likely to brag about their talents - and lie about their shortcomings.

New study revealed 70 per cent of British men have boasted about a talent and half have claimed to be skilled in areas that they are not. This is compared to only 54 percent of women who brag.

Boasting may be used by men to impress women. (This is not a big surprise.)
Experts think men do this to boost their own confidence, plus impress women and colleagues at work.
Research shows that men are also more likely to cover up their short comings. With just 22 percent of men admitting to things they are bad at.
A psychologist from Lancaster University said men are conditioned to be more competitive than women and exaggerate their skill set
All people are more likely to be boastful when they are younger with 56 percent of 18 to 24 year olds exaggerating their skills, compared to just 26 percent of voer 55 year olds.

By Sarah Griffiths

Why 'I'm So Happy I Could Cry Makes Sense

Why We Cry When We are Happy and May smile When We Are Very Sad.

As a family we often watch an emotional TV recording of my brother-in-law coming home from the Gulf War. As he gets off the plane, my sister and the children are running towards him crying, not looking happy at all. Have you ever seen someone cry when they are happy or have a smile on their face when they are sad? New research shows people use “negative” emotion to stabilize their feeling. The research study is below. I am fascinated by this nonverbal behavior. I love to see happy crying. It is such a sincere, amazing behavior to witness. On the other hand, I find it deeply disturbing when I analyze interrogation videos or courtroom footage of suspected murders for the media and I see them give what I call a “cover smile” when they relay some of the most hideous aspects of the crime. In this case the suspect is trying to regulate the emotions of guilt by smiling to look innocent and it feels disturbing to us to watch. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/11/141111124047.htm

November 11, 2014

Yale University

The phrase 'tears of joy' never made much sense to one American psychologist. But after conducting a series of studies of such seemingly incongruous expressions, she now understands better why people cry when they are happy.

he phrase "tears of joy" never made much sense to Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon. But after conducting a series of studies of such seemingly incongruous expressions, she now understands better why people cry when they are happy.

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"People may be restoring emotional equilibrium with these expressions," said Aragon, lead author of work to be published in the journal Psychological Science. "They seem to take place when people are overwhelmed with strong positive emotions, and people who do this seem to recover better from those strong emotions."

There are many examples of responding to a positive experience with a negative emotion. A crying spouse is reunited with a soldier returning from war. Teen girls scream at a Justin Bieber concert and so do soccer players as they score a winning goal. The baseball player who hits a winning home run is pounded at home plate by teammates. And when introduced to babies "too cute for words," some can't resist pinching their cheeks.

"I was surprised no one ever asked why that is," she said.

Aragon and her colleagues at Yale ran subjects through some of these scenarios and measured their responses to cute babies or happy reunions. They found that individuals who express negative reactions to positive news were able to moderate intense emotions more quickly. They also found people who are most likely to cry at their child's graduation are most likely to want to pinch a cute baby's cheeks.

There is also some evidence that strong negative feelings may provoke positive expressions; for example nervous laughter appears when people are confronted with a difficult or frightening situations, and smiles have been found by other psychologists to occur during extreme sadness.

These new discoveries begin to explain common things that many people do but don't even understand themselves, Aragon said.

"These insights advance our understanding of how people express and control their emotions, which is importantly related to mental and physical health, the quality of relationships with others, and even how well people work together," she said.

Story Source:

The above story is based on materials provided by Yale University. The original article was written by Bill Hathaway. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length.

Journal Reference:

1. E. J. Boothby, M. S. Clark, J. A. Bargh. Shared Experiences Are Amplified. Psychological Science, 2014; DOI: 10.1177/0956797614551162

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Yale University. "Why 'I'm so happy I could cry' makes sense." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 11 November 2014.