Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Body Language Read of Emma and Andrew - Chilly in the City!

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Funny Wedding Toast - The Power of a Pause in Your Presentations

I coached a client who was giving the wedding toast for his daughter’s wedding. We worked on his content and delivery so the wedding toast would be both touching and amusing. Afterwards I asked him, “What was the best part?”

He replied, “The funniest part of the toast was never expected. My toast was after dinner before the cutting of the cake. The toast was going great between laughter and a few tears. I got to the part, “My wish to both of you is to have a love story like my Mother and Father in law. Amanda’s Grandparents tonight are celebrating their 56th wedding anniversary! How exciting to share the same wedding date!"

My father in-law stood up slowly on one side of the room and then my mother in-law stood up on the opposite side of the room and the crowd just laughed. The expression on my mother in-law was priceless.

I just thought of the power of the pause for humor and gave a long pause. Everyone kept laughing.

Can You Send a Text to Communicate a Death?

With the addition of technology, we now have many ways to communicate a message. We need to be smart about the choices we make. Because there are more ways to put your message across, it is easier to make the wrong choice. For example, if you are delivering a message that may elicit a strong emotional response in the receiver you should not use a text or email to transmit it. It is not just unprofessional; it can be unfeeling and cowardly. I was appalled to find out that in the Malaysia Airlines disaster, the airline officials sent a text message to the passenger’s families to tell them flight MH370 ended up in the Indian Ocean. They couldn't make a phone call?!

You may think that at work you have given out a lot of information and data to be credible. The amount is less important than what you say and how you say it. When you speak in person it is an opportunity to see and hear what emotion or emotions the person or people you are communicating with have, as well as an opportunity for you to acknowledge their emotions and if you need to shift the way they think, feel and act.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Rob Pattinson and FKA Twigs

Body Language Read of Bethenny Frankel and Mac

In the bathing suit shot above, I love that they are facing towards each other with all the lower body windows open to each other. I also like how the very strong Bethenny has her hands resting on his shoulders in a way that shows she is beginning to trust and rely on him. Wish they were looking in each other eyes. I give this couple a 4 on Life & Style's True Love Rating Scale.

The above photo of them walking ( love the red boots) I like that they are on the same walking plane, neither one ahead of the other. (Bethenny is typically a walk in front person in a couple). I also like how his arm is reaching out to touch her. I like that her purse is on the outside. But they are not close together so I give them a 3 on Life & Style's True Love Rating Scale.

Body Language Read of Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone

I did a body language read of Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone for Life & Style today which will appear in an upcoming Life & Style. Below are my reads of this couple.

In the top photo even though they are walking far apart they have a wonderful interlaced hand hold. Their heads are down facing toward the camera rather than down as reflective of their relationship.
I give them a 3

The second photo is interesting his forward position and intensity seem to be for the camera. He is pushing her back. Her fist could be meant for him or for the photographer but she is not as accepting of the kiss as I would like.
I give them a 4.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Ben and Jen

The photo of them in the blue shirts. I oddly actually like it. They have really nice melding hand hold though they are far apart and she is a step back, he is looking back and adjusting his gait to hers a bit in that moment. Yes he has a upside down masking smile suppression anger, but you can tell it is about the photographer as his body position is protective of her and she is actually relaxed and not responding to his facial expression as being meant for her. She is tilting her head to look at him not away from him!

The other photo is adorable I give it a 5 He is wrapped behind her in what I call Papa Bear position. It's actually a couples sleep position. He is protective and a bit playful. His feet are far apart that is Pappa protective stance, ready for guarding action. He has his elbow out, expanding his silhouette and making himself bigger and he has a playful smile on his face, and his eyes towards the photographers making sure she is safe. She is backing in to him and her rear and though her arms are close to her body and her hands are cupped around her stuff, her smile and close positions she is happily surmising to his protection and strength.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney

What do you do if you are asked for a price quote via email?

Does your sales force talk about this as a new challenge of trying to respond to email RFQs Request for quotes?

An email comes in…

It’s a potential client who would like a quote on your services. Do you send them a quote or even a ball park number or do you at least attempt to bring this discussion to “real time” as in live via that cave man device called a “phone”?

Buyers are emailing because they want to avoid a sales pitch and just flat out save time. Sales people respond via email because they feel this is the way the prospect wants to proceed.

Personally, I don’t like anything that puts me in a price discussion without establishing a relationship. I want to hear their voice and find out important components such as their needs and be able to communicate the value of my services. Call me a crazy nonverbal communication expert, but I think it’s helpful to hear the true tone of one’s words. Oddly I am often told that I was the only person who suggested we talk.

What do you do when a potential client asks for pricing via email?

First you know that typically the RFQs are typically collected and used by someone lower in the chain. If you talk to them and try to find out their budget and needs they typically say, “I don’t know I have to check with….” They are gathering prices that they like rather than product of services that they like. I swear I think that there are sales and negation programs not that say that one way to get the lowest quote is to send a request via email then say you don’t know the budget or the only thing you know is that it is a very small budget! You want to get to the decision maker. So if you can ask lots of questions to discover needs and if the “I don’t know” emailer can’t answer them, you have the opportunity to ask to speak to the decision maker. Have your needs and questions ready. Be able to send them out via email or if you get a call with the “I don’t knower” be able to ask them very pithy questions that let them know you care about serving them and you have the experience of serving and customizing based on needs.

Geno Smiths Body Language Sports writer notices body language After Jets Fifth Straight Loss Smith Says He Remains Optimistic

Oct. 12, 2014 10:14 p.m. ET

The words could have been patronizing coming from anyone but Peyton Manning. He is arguably the greatest of all time, a future Hall of Famer on the brink of breaking the NFL record for passing touchdowns.

So the Jets’ Geno Smith listened as the two quarterbacks met for the traditional postgame handshake after Denver’s 31-17 win Sunday at MetLife Stadium.

“Keep your head up, keep at it,” Manning said, as Smith recalled.

His obscene outburst at a Jets fan notwithstanding, Smith is often difficult to read. He doesn’t sport the famously glum “Manning face” that Peyton and especially his brother, Giants quarterback Eli Manning, do when things aren’t going well. He said Sunday evening that he remains “optimistic.”

But Smith’s body language shows that he realizes he has become a league-wide punch line.

Even “Saturday Night Live” is in on the joke. About 12 hours before kickoff Sunday, Weekend Update anchor Colin Jost quipped that Smith celebrated his 24th birthday on Friday, but “sadly, when Smith blew out the candles, his birthday wish was intercepted and returned for a touchdown.”

It turned out to be a prescient joke, after Smith’s desperate, last-minute heave on Sunday ended up in the hands of Denver’s Aqib Talib, who trotted into the end zone to clinch the game.

Even after the cursing incident, which followed a two-turnover performance against Detroit on Sept. 28, Smith bristled at a reporter who asked whether backup Michael Vickcould provide a spark for the team for a quarter of a game. Smith said that “didn’t make sense” and then told the reporter, who had tried to ask a follow-up question, “That’s not a question. Next question.”

The fieriness cooled into icy sobriety just days later, after Smith was benched during halftime in the Jets’ 31-0 loss to San Diego. As head coach Rex Ryan spoke at a spirited postgame news conference in a windowless, air-condition-less room, I saw Smith sneak into a folding chair to Ryan’s right. His arms rested on his thighs and he stared straight ahead. I had spent the previous week interviewing him about his 22-year-old adopted brother, who is also his apartment-mate and confidant, so I tried to make eye contact with him. The quarterback either ignored me or didn’t see me, confined to his own melancholy mind.

If he was more engaged after Sunday’s loss to Denver, it was barely noticeable. Smith improved on his 4-for-12 performance from a week ago by finishing Sunday 23-of-43 with two touchdowns and that one last-minute interception. He has now thrown six touchdowns and seven interceptions this season.

After the game, he never complained about his offensive line, which for the second straight week gave him little time to throw, nor about his receivers, who dropped three important passes. Uncharacteristically, though, he did assign some blame to his running backs, who gained just 20 yards on 13 carries, before catching himself.

“Obviously, we’ve got to run the ball better,” he said. “But the passing game should be able to pick it up.”

I asked how he was feeling at that moment, with Jets 1-6 on the season and looking ahead to a Thursday night matchup in New England. He gave the obvious answer. “I’m frustrated,” he said. “Five losses in a row obviously has everyone frustrated. But I’m optimistic.”

He said Thursday’s game would give the team a quick chance to bounce back. Someone else asked Smith how he could stay optimistic as the ship continued to sink. The question seemed to surprise him.

“I wake up every day and I get another chance at life,” he said. “That’s good enough for me.”

Write to Stu Woo at Stu.Woo@wsj.com

Should Doctors Give Speeches and Media Interviews?

There are advantages and cautions for doctors trying to grow their practice by giving lectures and media interviews.

As a professional speaker, media coach and body language expert who is quoted in the National Media several times a week, I know many pros and cons of that kind of exposure. I have done media training with doctors including the American Academy of Emergency Physicians. My experience is that it can build a doctor’s credibility and their confidence level in general.

If you not only know your material for a speech, but have a captivating interactive delivery style rather than a boring, monotone, PowerPoint filled lecture, you gain great respect. You also need to really know how to handle difficult questions from audiences and the media.

It is amazing how being quoted in print media or being interviewed on TV or radio impresses people. The most important thing is to do it well so you do not harm your credibility.