Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Testimonials From Patti Wood's Clients

Testimonials from Clients of Patti Wood, Speaker, Trainer and Body Language Expert

Your Evaluations were Outstanding and Filled with Superlatives

“The comments from your keynote evaluations where outstanding and filled with superlatives including repeated comments such as , “ Awesome, Fascinating, Energetic, Informative, Highly Recommend, Amazing, Very Dynamic, Exceeded Expectations, Captivating, Fantastic, Very Engaging, Fun, Energizing, Just Terrific, Loved the interaction, Wonderful, Great information, Very Entertaining.” There was even one of our favorites, “…so honored to learn from the best of the best!“

Stephanie Gunner
National Alliance for Grieving Children

Program and Communications Coordinator

Fantastic Presentation…

“It' been almost a week since your presentation and the team is still buzzing. Your presentation was fantastic. We've received great feedback from all levels of Management, our Account Executives and support staff that was in attendance. I was very pleased to see the long line at your book signing and the multiple questions that came with it. We were also extremely pleased with the way you seamlessly incorporated our objectives and theme into your presentation. It was like you were working with us for weeks. I've been in the business world almost 30 years and never quite knew the proper protocol on how, when or how long to shake a woman's hand. I now can confidently do this.”

Scott Bloom
Director, Optimum Business Sales Operations
Cablevision

Fresh, Motivating and Funny…highly recommend Patti...

“…one month later I am still getting comments from satisfied members who attended her body language symposium. She was fresh, motivating, and funny. She has a knack for making her point in a way you won’t forget. Her simple tools to enhance the first impression you give are invaluable. I walked into a member office the other day and laughed as two of the attendees to Patti’s class were standing there talking about one of Patti’s techniques!” “We enjoyed all of our speakers, but few stay with you like Patti does! We highly recommend using Patti Wood as your next speaker.”

Libby Sheard, E-PRO

Little Rock REALTORS® Association

Absolutely Fantastic…A Joy to Watch in Action…

“I just wanted to thank you so much for coming and speaking to our members. You were absolutely fantastic and a joy to watch in action. We hope to have you back very soon….

Dana Earl

Operations Administrator
Greater Albuquerque Association of REALTORS^®

An Ultimate Professional

“I am writing to say that I have had the privilege of working with Patti Wood on two separate occasions for our GFOA-PA Annual Conferences. I have never before seen an audience on their feet within 5 minutes after the speaker took the microphone!

Patti has an amazing knack for involving every single attendee. And they have such a great time! She has people who have never met before sharing information, learning about and from each other.

The first time I worked with Patti, she was virtually an unknown to our group. Within 30 minutes after Patti ended her presentation, I was told by the committee that we had to have her return again the next year. When Patti is on the Agenda, I know that my attendance is going to increase.

Patti is the ultimate professional who takes time to learn about her audience and their professional needs so that she can customize her remarks to assure that the audience can relate.

I am happy to entertain any questions and will happily offer personal recommendations to anyone who may be considering working with Patti Wood. I can assure you, it is a win-win situation.”

R. Keith McNally
GFOA-PA Program Coordinator

I Don’t Think I’ve Seen Our Group Laugh So Much!

“On behalf of the New Mexico Court Reporters Association, I would like to sincerely thank you for a wonderfully entertaining and engaging show! Everyone truly enjoyed your spirited presentation on body language. I don't think I've ever seen our group laugh so much! Thank you so much for sharing your expertise with us!”
Vanessa Arrieta,
NM CCR, RPR Past President NMCRA

Incredible Energy…
“Thank you so much for bringing your incredible energy and wonderful knowledge to us. I’ve been sharing some of your stories all week with co-workers! “

Susan Y. Shen Deloitte Consulting LLP

Hired Patti Over 40 Times!
"I have hired Patti Wood over forty times to kick-off my seminars around the country and plan to use her six more times this year. She gets my audiences energized, focused and she teaches them skills that they can incorporate in their work life immediately. The first thing my audience members ask me when they're deciding on whether to register is, 'Is Patti going to be there?'" Yes she is!
Jeff Justice Seminars

Awesome Job…
You did an awesome job! An entire day of you giving keynotes in a studio for us. I think we have enough information captured to truly give us what we need for your videos. Now begins the edit process. We have so much great information from you that it will be difficult to decide what stays and what goes. We reported out to Richard and Ashley yesterday, and everyone felt that you showed up great on camera and delivered (as usual). I’m looking forward to April as well (When you are live with us again). Take care Patti, and rest easy knowing you did a great job for us!
Kenny Simon
Emersonhc.com

The Best Conference because of You…

“….I heard …. our participants saying this years “Gathering of Eagles Conference” was the best and that’s because of YOU!”

Dr. Penelope Schmidt

Executive Director of Advancement & Foundation South

Wiregrass Georgia Technical College

Outstanding Keynote…

“Thank you for your outstanding keynote presentation to kick off our Credit Insurer's Association meeting. The participants said you were excellent. You built up interest and momentum from your high energy session which carried throughout our meeting. The two days were abuzz with comments that showed how much fun they had and how much they learned such as "Did you see him put his hands in his pockets!" and "I cross my arms to think but, I'm not ADD." You really made a lasting impression. People came up to me and said they wanted more of you and “we could listen to Patti all day. “ I really appreciate you motivating our group. We are hoping we can have you back some time in the future so check your calendar.”

Beth Kastigar

Credit Insurers Association

Incredibly interesting…

“Great to listen to you and soak up so many great and valuable pointers on people and interactions. It was incredibly interesting. I thank you for presenting so masterfully and sincerely.”.
Kate Carpenter
Stowe Kitchen Bath and Linens

We Could Have Listened to You For Several Hours More!
On behalf of my entire Builder 20 group I would like to thank you for a wonderful presentation Friday morning. It was very informative and we could have easily listened to you for several more hours.

Brian Builder 20 Group

You Have a Wonderful Way About You!
Didn't want this day to end without telling you how much the group and I enjoyed listening to you, learning from you and watching that body language! You have a wonderful way about you.

Mary Jo IHG

Best Presentation …

“I just wanted to say thank you for an excellent presentation at last week's entrepreneur expo. It was easily one of the best presentations and information sessions I have ever seen. I learned a lot about body language and the funny thing was that you start to see examples of it everywhere. From being at a bar talking with some friends to working with potential clients, it was just eye-opening to see how accurate your information was…”
Billy Gallagher
Florida Web Presence, LLC

Engaging…Enthusiastic and Insightful…
“Thank you so much for such an engaging program last night” “We were treated to an intimate, captivating gathering.” I wish I'd taken your program years ago and over and above anything else paid attention to my own 'gut'. Thank you for your enthusiasm and insights about so much.”

Lynn Cromer

Awesome…
“I thought your training was awesome! I will pass your information on to our Top Directors and Nationals at our next meeting and suggest they schedule an event for you to come in and talk to all of us.”
Linda Morris Future Director Mary Kay Cosmetics

You’re fantastic…

I have never been to a more delightful or interesting presentation. I started practicing what I learned and I just can't believe the difference it has made in such a short time. I am so glad you will be back next year; I am bringing friends to hear you speak. Thank you for the book, I have already started reading it. It really reinforces your presentation and makes a great reference manual too! Good luck and thank you.”

Patty Griffin

San Antonio Program

Patti is a rare individual…

“Patti is a rare individual…warm, funny, and so knowledgeable….you can really learn from her. Her programs are A1.”

Vickie Okoro

Patti’s Audience Members Rave

About her Body Language Keynotes and Deception Detection Training

Excellent & informative Presentation…

“Thank you so much for such an excellent and informative presentation! Your enthusiasm about the subject is contagious….Thanks again for such an awesome presentation!”

Susan Meyer

UCB Pharm Group

You were Superb…

“You were superb!!!!! Thank you for the insight and the wonderful suggestions.”

Lynne A. Harper RN C COHN Manager

The Coca Cola Company

Amazing…

“Patti's workshop on Deception was amazing. The next day I looked at video clips of the politicians she mentioned. Then I stopped people in the locker room and at book group to tell them about Patti and her insights. Can't wait to use her tips with eHarmony matches! I'm getting a group together togo to Patti's workshop on Body Language.”

Marilyn Harris

Detecting Deception Class

What Participants said about Patti Wood’s Presentation Skills Training

Hold on to Your Seats…

“Hold on to your seats! If you want to improve your presentation skills, Patti Ann Wood is the person to help. She will teach you how to grab your audience. Patti Wood is Excellent! You were the top rated speaker at our conference.

Denise Crowe

CSPA

Patti is the Person to Help You…

If you need to be a better speaker Patti Wood is the person to help you. She will teach you how to grab your audience with tricks to hold your audience and help you build your presentation. Don't book her for just half a day, or one day as the audience wants to interact with her. Patti will WOW you!!”

Ana Woerner RN BS COHN-S

AAOHN Program

· Excellent! Has boosted my self-confidence 100 %.

· The seminar was excellent! I noticed a big change in everyone's presentation skills between the first and second day.

· The best seminar I have ever attended. The class exceeded my expectations, gave me effective and valuable tools to use, and increased my confidence in handling future presentations.

· Outstanding course! I've never had so much fun while learning so much.

· Everyone no matter how experienced needs this class!

· It was great to hear you speak today, and you made a fantastic first impression on all of us!

· I feel like I will definitely be a better speaker following this class.

· This course was very beneficial. It helped to give me great confidence in doing future presentations. I will greatly recommend this class to all my peers. I especially enjoyed the body language section.

· The Easy Speaking class has given me hot tips for future presentations. Please note that this class was very beneficial. Going forward--I have gained more confidence by coming to this class.

· I expected to be bored and scared instead the course was interesting, well presented, informative and fun. I will use the ideas for years to come.

· What an enjoyable experience! Even though I came to the class both days “under the weather” (I have the flu), you made the days exciting and kept my energy level up. I learned things about presenting I never realized – I always thought “Power Point – less” presentations would be dry. In fact, I know now the exact opposite is true! I am certain that I will surprise the people I present to from now on (especially those who have heard me before!)

· After years of feeling my presentations were boring, I feel that I can now make my executive presentations dynamic!

· Great program. I liked your use of various activities to keep the audience stimulated and focused.

· Patti's enthusiasm for her subject matter is contagious! Her memory will be etched in me based on her memorable stories and speaking experience.

· I never saw a speech presented in so novel and unique a way – which met me in my primitive brain and it lodged in the hemispheres.

· Fantastic enthusiasm and knowledge of subject. I would highly recommend your seminar to other groups.

· It was the best “two days” of training I’ve seen – in fact, I got more out of it than other longer classes.

· I cannot possibly make any suggestions for improvement! My head is still spinning from all of the great information I learned in two days. More importantly, you proved that it is not a very difficult task to do a good speech. This was the best training class I’ve ever attended – regardless of the discipline! Thanks a million!!!

· I am looking forward to my next opportunity to speak in front of a group, so I can try out all of these great lessons! Two days ago, I wouldn’t believe I’d ever say that!

· This was the best instructional class I’ve ever had.

· I have to be honest and tell you when I got the email to be in class from 8:30-6:00, my first thought was OH MY GOD, what a long day. But you do a great job of making learning fun, easy, energetic and the time just flew.

· You are really good at what you do and you enjoy it and it shows! Thank you very much for the useful tips and tricks. I’ll use them in my future training classes.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

9 Ways to Be an Incredibly Likable Interviewee

Patti was interviewed by US News and World Report for body language tips on how to be an incredible likable interviewee. See her tips highlighted in yellow below.

Actual article link: http://money.usnews.com/money/careers/articles/2015/03/11/9-ways-to-be-an-incredibly-likable-interviewee

9 Ways to Be an Incredibly Likable Interviewee

Show you're more than qualified – you're a pleasure to work with, too.

Be the person everyone wants on their team.

By Laura McMullenMarch 11, 2015 | 10:36 a.m. EDT+ More

If hired, will you say "hi" and "bye" most days and be friendly to both your manager and the person fixing your computer?

Will you show up to team happy hours and respectfully contribute in brainstorming meetings?

Will you humor us – but not smother us – with pleasant small talk about weekend plans?

Will I actually like you, regardless of how well you do the job, or will I have to strategically time my coffee breaks so I don't run into you?

These questions, while unspoken, can be as relevant to interviewers as your previous job experience. Here's how to answer them by showing you'll be a pleasure to work with.

Before the Interview

1. Consider what you want to convey. You shouldn't have to fake being likable. You're not forcing a toothy grin or trying to show the interviewer how similar the two of you are. You're simply showing you, authentically, at your best.

Patti Wood, body language and communication expert, suggests this pre-interview exercise: Write out what qualities the prospective company is looking for – some of which will likely be in the job description – and think about the specific behaviors that illustrate them. For example, in the interview, how can you show you work well with others, rather than just saying you do? Similarly, consider your best qualities and how you show, rather than tell, them. "You're looking at those abstract concepts and words and then translating them into specific behaviors," says Wood, author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma."

Consider the "works well with others" example. During the interview, "that might mean you show extremely good listening [skills]," Wood says, adding that you may also ask specific questions about the interviewer, such as his or her favorite project or aspect of the job. "And then listen to that empathetically, so you're actually behaving as someone who works and communicates effectively with others," she adds.

2. Stay in character during your mock interview. Which means, yes, you should rehearse the interview with a friend, family member, mentor or career counselor. This exercise is helpful for many reasons, one of which is the more you practice describing your biggest weakness, for example, the more comfortable you'll be while doing so on interview day. And the more comfortable you are, the easier it is to be yourself – not some stiff, scripted interview robot that spits out algorithmic answers and malfunctions when it can't compute a question. Speaking of which ...

During the mock interview, "don't step in and out of character," says Michelle Tillis Lederman, author of “The 11 Laws of Likability” and CEO of the professional development firm Executive Essentials. "Stay in character the whole time as you recover from those mistakes." This is more practice for the real interview, when do-overs won't be an option.

3. Bust nerves, and boost excitement. It's hard to hit it off with someone who is frozen in nervousness or solemn under the weight of this potentially life-changing, probably doomed, super scary meeting. A comfortable, happy you is a likable you, so loosen up. When you're feeling nervous the day before or on the way to the interview, listen to a song that makes you feel "comfortable and confident," Wood says. "What song, when you hear it, you can't help but feel good?" she asks. That's the one to listen to. (Wood's go-to song before giving a big speech is Pink's "Raise Your Glass.")

In the days leading up to the interview, also practice positive visualization. "Create a recording in your head of the interview going well," Wood says. "Under stress, you go to what you've rehearsed the most," she explains, which means you'll likely jump to those premeditated, successful actions come interview day. This U.S. News Careers article about how to spend the hour before your interviewexpands on positive visualizations and other nerve-neutralizing steps.

During the Interview

4. Be kind from the get-go. "The interview starts the minute you walk through those circular doors and into the building," Tillis Lederman says. Be friendly to the security guard, receptionist and whomever else you encounter. Companies sometimes ask receptionists what they thought of the candidates to get a sense of how they act without the rehearsed niceties that come with talking to a hiring manager, and Tillis Lederman warns: "Some receptionists have basically eliminated candidates' possibilities."

5. Embrace the small talk. It's not as small as you may think. Naturally engaging in a little chitchat is one way to build rapport with the interviewer, Tillis Lederman says. Remember: The interviewer is not only looking at your qualifications and experience; she's also trying to picture you as a future employee, possibly sharing a cubicle wall and discussing weekend plans.

Plus, "you have to think about the fact that the interviewer might be nervous, too," she says. And that interviewer will remember how you made her feel at ease with some breezy weather talk before having to launch into more serious questioning.

Just like you can prepare for common interview questions, you can prepare for interview small talk. "As you're coming into the interview, think about what's been in the news lately, think about the weather, think about the general vicinity of the office and what's around it," Tillis Lederman says. "It doesn't have to be brilliant small talk. We're just talking about chatting and being real with someone."

6. Match the interviewer's pace. There's a range in how quickly people talk. On the two extremes, there are "rabbits," Wood says, who talk really really fast and LOUD without taking breaks, like they're attached to an IV of coffee. And there are turtles, who ... talk ... more ... slowly ... and ... think ... before ... speaking. Those two paces don't initially jibe. (Think of the contempt you feel when an overly enthusiastic telemarketer calls you at 8 p.m., as you're relaxed on the couch. The mismatched pace and demeanor is jarring, Wood points out.)

"We tend to like somebody who is our same pace, especially in the beginning and end of the interview," Wood says. So be aware of the pace you typically speak at, and then try to match the pace of the interviewer for the for a minute or so. "Think of it like a handshake you're doing to establish rapport and have people feel comfortable and at ease with you," she says.

By matching the interviewer's pace, "you're showing 'I've listened to you; I've paid attention to you; and I know where you are, and I'm meeting you there," Wood adds. "It also puts you in the right place, because you're not self-focused – you're other-focused."

7. Lean in. Wood points to a common scenario in interviews: You're asked a question, and as you give your prepared answer, stress causes your body to freeze in the chair, "like a squirrel in the headlights," she says. "A trick is to, as you start to answer, lean forward slightly," she says. The effect of pulling your head, torso and gestures just an inch or two closer is two-fold, Wood says: Your brain unfreezes that stiff body language, and the interviewer perceives the leaning as a sign that you like him or her, therefore making you more likable.

8. Don't sweat mistakes. Staying in character during the rough patches of your mock interview will pay off now, when you – sorry – likely make at least a minor goof during the actual interview. "When we are ourselves, we're not perfect," Tillis Lederman says. "Interviewers want you to know it's OK to be a little flawed." If you can handle a mistake "and still appear confident and comfortable," she says, you show the interviewers you're not easily frazzled in high-stress situations.

After the Interview

9. Follow up like you mean it. In this article about following up after interviews, career experts say you should send thank-you emails soon – as in, within a day of the interview. And no generic blanket email to everyone you met with. Individualize the letters to reference a specific topic or two that you and the interviewer discussed. "It's not about you; it's about them," Tillis Lederman says. "It's about how do you add value for them, and how do you create an ongoing rapport with them."

Body Language Read of Model Gigi Hadid and Singer Cody Simpson

Body Language Read of Model Gigi Hadid and Singer Cody Simpson, by Patti Wood, Body Language Expert for Life & Style Magazine.

The body language of Model Gigi Hadid and singer Cody Simpson in the photo of her in that fabulous black dress is very stiff and awkward. It almost looks like they are on a Hollywood set up date rather than two people who like each other. Look how Cody leans away like she is a tree and he is a cute koala bear leaning out and away from her. His weight is out and away from her, his hand around her is held cupped away from her body and he leaves a big space between them at the hips and waist not wanting to show they are sexually connected. She is standing straight (like a tree) focused on the camera and her hand on his shoulder is also cupped out and away. Even though there are a few positive cues the negative override them so I give this couple a 1 on Life & Style’s True Love Rating Scale.

She is doing a Sports Illustrated pose in the bathing suit photo. Seems she has difficultly letting her model mentally go. He is showing “Ownership” cues. His right hand wrapped on top of her hand, his left hand wrapped around her pulled away arm with his thumb up showing his desire to have boyfriend power over her. His kiss gently placed on her cheek which softens the ownership cues. She is so posed she could be a big doll he is holding and kissing. She is not giving him very much just allowing him to kiss her and letting her fingers interlace with his. But notice the left shoulder blocking, her arm pulled away from him and even her hip jutted away from him. I can’t read her smile as sincere she is showing happiness, but she is a professional poser. He is giving a 4 photo rating but she, being so posed is a 2 so I give this couple a 2 on Life & Style’s True Love Rating Scale.

Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith Still In Love

Patti Wood, Body Language Expert. read the body language of Will Smith and Jada for Life & Style. Read her insights on this "Still In Love" couple below.

Body Language Read of Nick Gordon during the Dr. Phil Interview

Body Language Read of Nick Gordon during the Dr. Phil Interview by Patti Wood, Body Language Expert for Radar Online

Nick Gordon is clearly an emotional wreck in the highly-publicized promotional trailer for his upcoming interview with Dr. Phil McGraw. But although the boyfriend of Bobbi Kristina Brown has faced scrutiny in recent weeks regarding his behavior in the wake of the incident that left her comatose, body language expert Patti Wood tells RadarOnline.comexclusively, “Nick Gordon is not faking any of this. He is in horrific pain.”

When Gordon sat down for the interview, which will air on The Dr. Phil Show on Wednesday, March 11, it turned out to be more of an intervention and, as a result, Gordon has checked himself into rehab.

But his emotional breakdown, according to Wood, was not for show.

“I can just tell you that Nick Gordon is in his limbic primitive brain, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for adrenaline flow, emotion and behavior,” says Wood, who is the author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma.

As Radar previously reported, Gordon’s behavior has raised concerns in recent weeks. He posted a desperate tweet on Tuesday that read “I’m so hurt I wanna do myself in.” And he’s been trapped in a long battle with Bobbi Kristina’s father, Bobby Brown, over not being able to visit the hospital bedside where his 22-year-old girlfriend is in a medically induced coma. In addition, he is facing the pressure of an ongoing criminal investigation regarding the near-drowning of the woman who called herself his wife.

Wood, who has not treated Gordon, tells Radar, “He is in a truly charged emotional state and, judging from his paralanguage [vocal and physical cues], his pain is authentic and real.”

Watch the video on RadarOnline.com:

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2015/03/not-faking-it-nick-gordons-pain-is-real-authentic-during-dr-phil-interview-says-body-language-expert/

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Speaks Volumes - Non-Verbal Ways You Might Be Inadvertently Dissing Your Boss

Patti was interviewed by the Toronto Sun on how your body language could be speaking volumes and non-verbal ways you might be inadvertently dissing your boss. Below is the article and the link where it appeared in the Toronto Sun.
http://save.sunmedia.ca/Save/classic/doc?docid=289505890&q=%22joanne%20richard%22%20AND%20date(last%2014%20days)&stem=false&spaceop=AND&ttype=xsl&tval=headline_sun&pos=0&hn=1&pubAbbrev=sunmedia&dtokey=loljgcszh#anchor289505890

The Toronto Sun Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Body language speaks volumes

Non-verbal ways you might be inadvertently dissing your boss

JOANNE RICHARD

Special to QMI Agency

Your constant tweeting and texting speaks louder than words!

So does your lateness, silence and poor posture. These are just a few of the

ways you’re telling your boss that you don’t want to be there, says Patti Wood, of

pattiwood.net.

What you do — and don’t do — at work speak volumes about you. And some behaviours

are even dangerous to your job security — they’re firing-worthy, says Wood, an

internationally recognized non-verbal communication and human behaviour

expert.

Even if you are unaware of it or it’s unintentional, your body language speaks volumes

about you. It can lead to people thinking you’re incompetent or totally disinterested,

so clean up your act if you want to stay. If you’re looking to go, keep it up!

Check out these non-verbal ways you might be inadvertently dissing your boss,

according to Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language

and Charisma (snapfirst impressions.com).

Your posture is slumped down, informal and a little too relaxed.

Spending hours a day, on average, hunched over our devices makes it hard to sit

up straight, admits Wood. But here are the straight goods: Sit up and appear interested,

engaged and engaging. Whether you are with someone or alone at your desk, sitting

slumped over sends a message of disinterest and disrespect.

“Instead of hunching over, keep your shoulders back, your head up, and open

your hands and move them upward when you gesture.”

You don’t give your full attention to your boss — from the feet up.

Your voice or body language can send messages that you don’t really care,

says Wood. One specific non-verbal behaviour area to focus on is your feet, she

says, as they reveal where you really want to be.

“For example, if you are in a meeting but really want to be back at your desk getting

other work done, your feet may point toward the door. You might think that

is a subtle cue that others couldn’t possibly notice, but where your feet point actually

affects the rest of your body’s alignment. To be more present and train yourself to

be fully attentive, point your feet and the rest of your body toward the speaker.”

You don’t get to the meeting a little early to talk and stay after the

meeting to visit.

Beginnings and endings are critical, stresses Wood. “By not spending time visiting

with people before the formal meeting begins and getting up and leaving quickly or checking

your phone before you leave the room, you are saying non-verbally, ‘I am not interested

in you and I have more important things to do.’”

Face-to-face interaction helps establish a bond and get an emotional read of each

person. “This helps you make connections and alliances, and helps you persuade others

to see your viewpoint,” says Wood.

You’re purposefully late when you could be on time.

You figure you’ll show up when you’re good and ready? “There are also people who

are late as a form of passive-aggressive control over those they make late,” says Wood.

Arriving late sends out the message that you think you are more important than others

and people must wait for you. “There are no good reasons to constantly be late for

work or work meetings.”

You don’t turn off technology or put it away before talking, and you

focus on technology when people are with you.

Being stuck to your technology is no longer considered a sign of being hard-working

and committed. “Now, you just look like you’re rude, and that you believe your time and

your needs are more important than the person(s) you are with.” Think of your device as

you would a toddler. Ask yourself, ‘Would I have my three-year-old with me during this

conversation at work?’ If the answer is no, put the device away or don’t even bring it. “If

you can, don’t take your technology with you, or keep it turned off and completely out

of sight. Don’t put it face up on the work space between you and the other person.”

You don’t reply to e-mails.

Not responding will have people guessing as to why and “remember, when you don’t

give a reasonable behaviour, people will guess why and those assumptions tend to be

negative. At least say, ‘I will get back soon,’ or ‘I read your e-mail and I will be responding

soon.’ Otherwise, people think you just don’t care,” says Wood.

You only e-mail or text; you don’t give face time.

Recent University of Illinois research indicates that communication done mainly

through e-mail will result in co-workers trusting you less. “Face-to-face contact yields

the most trust and cooperation while e-mail nets the least, with video conference

interaction ranking somewhere in between,” says Wood.

“Your boss and co-workers need to be face-to-face to read the thousands of non-verbal

cues that give them a read of you and help them decide the best way to interact with you.”

You are invisible; you keep your head down, don’t socialize and think your

work speaks for itself.

Slipping in and out of work silently sends a loud and clear message — and it’s not a good

one. Small talk can be big — “time is a communicator of respect and common courtesies

go a long way. You need to say hello or good-bye as you arrive or leave work. You

also need to visit or socialize, speak up and contribute in meetings, ask for time to discuss

projects face-to-face, go to lunch with your boss and team, and compliment others’

success or work effort,” says Wood. Face-to-face interactions build trust. Your boss is

watching so you need to participate and collaborate with the group.

You don’t think about others when you get dressed for work.

Office wear is indicative of where your head is at. “How you dress shows your respect

— or lack of respect — for others. It is actually discourteous to dress inappropriately for

work,” says Wood. One study indicates that 75% of Americans think a well-dressed

man is more successful than his causal co-workers, adds Wood, so dress to represent

your company well.

You’re a woman who does not wear makeup.

Okay, so this likely won’t get you fired, says Wood, but “research shows people judge

the beauty of a woman based on how much makeup she is wearing.” Makeup makes her

look more professional — one study reveals that it actually boosts a woman’s ranking in

competence and trustworthiness, says Wood, while “a study in the American Economic

Review said women who wear makeup can earn more than 30% more in pay

than female employees who don’t wear makeup.” Put your best face forward so you send

the right message.

Non-verbal bahaviours

Your facial expressions show disrespect and/or derision: Those eye rolls are inexcusable!

So too is sighing heavily when someone else is speaking. They’re both signs of disrespect

and contempt, says Wood, adding that many people don’t think these non-verbal

behaviours are a big deal “till their job is threatened.”

joanne.richard@sunmedia.ca

What you do — and don’t do — at work speak volumes about you. And some behaviours may even be dangerous to your job security, says Patti Wood, an internationally recognized non-verbal communication and human behaviour expert.

Ways to be a Better, Nicer Person

Ways to Be a Better Nicer Person

By Patti Wood Author of Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body language and Charisma

There is no greater gift to give to someone than your interest. Here are Great Tips to Be a Better Person.

Give a Compliment
Why it works. If a compliment is gently given and very specific it makes a person feel seen. They light up and open up to you, the person that has made them feel so good. Ideally find something very specific to compliment. Otherwise, the person may feel that you have a general compliment ready to give to any person you see coming down the street. You can say something about their appearance, “I like the leather on your shoes, or I like the design on your shirt, or “I like the way your smile lights up the room." Be specific for example instead of just saying, "Susan that was an excellent meal” after that say, “That was so good, I could eat the rest of the pot with a spoon." or “That brownie dessert you made was melt in your mouth tell your momma good,” “I loved how you made it so pretty on the plate, you’re a real artist.”

Ask a Question

You can start with a simple, “Hello my name is ….and what do you do for fun?” Then listen, resisting the urge to jump in and talk about yourself. The information they share about themselves and their problem can help you determine how you can best serve them and thus help you craft what you will say in your elevator conversation.

Lean in Close and Flirt with the World

My mom never meets a stranger. I remember when my mom and I would go into Walgreen’s soda fountain for a BLT after a day of shopping. My mom would sit down with a big smile, and the waitress would walk up and my mom would turn to her and lean in close as if she had known that waitress all her life and start talking. But most of all she would start listening. She would look that waitress in the eye, nod her head and keep saying say "uh-huh," and by the end of the meal she would leave the place knowing the waitress’s name and the names of her children. She did this everywhere she went and she still does it. She flirts with the world, and everybody loves it.

Ask more questions and listen some more

This back and forth flow gives you rapport with the other person. Years ago I strained my voice singing in a community theater production of Godspell. It hurt to talk so I began asking questions as I met people instead of spouting off what I did. I am a communication consultant so I asked questions like, “What’s going on in your organization? “How’s the communication in your company?” “What are you doing to deal with your communication issues?” It’s amazing what I learned and how much business I got from people I barely said a word to. Because I listened to their problems, they believed (and rightly so) I could solve their problems. You might be memorable to a stranger because of what they said about themselves in your presence. Be memorable for what you don’t say.

Turn off technology or Don’t Answer It or get off of it when people are present

We have become so accustomed to answering the phone and looking at our computers, leaving our hands on the keyboards when someone comes into our offices to talk and leaving our cell phones in our hands and talking on them in public that we forget how rude all those things are. When you are standing in the checkout line, talk to the cashier and the people in line. Be present. If you are out with someone, try turning off your cell phone and say out loud, “Let me turn this off while we talk.” It’s amazing what a difference it will make in the impression you give because so few people take the time to be that polite. I suggest that when you are going into an important meeting, especially one where you will be presenting, you remove any visible technology. Hide your cell phone and PDA, rather than wearing them on your waist. When you have them in view, you’re saying nonverbally that someone else is more important and could interrupt you at any time.