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Stress and Finding Balance Tip

1.      Take action instead of complaining. If you find you are complaining about something, then figure out one thing you can do to improve the situation and do it.

Realize if you are tense your body language is reflecting that tension. Taking action creates “power” body language changing your body chemistry so you feel better. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Johnny and Amber Hit a Rough Patch








On April 21, Johnny Depp, 50, and his fiancee, Amber Heard, 28, emerged from her birthday dinner in a seemingly sour mood. Notice how pulled-back her pelvis is, she is walking stiffly.  Even her lips are tense according to Patti.  Johnny is showing an extreme effort to reach back and hold her hand.  In the 2011 pic Amber looked proud to stand next to Johnny.  They are having fun and are at ease in this photo.

Patti gives the Happy as can be couple in 2011 a 5 on the True Love Rating Scale.

Patti gives the tense twosome couple in 2014 a 2 on the True Love Rating Scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Are YOU 'beautiful'? Try the simple 'hot or not' finger test that's taking social media by storm

  • Known as 'Beauty and Ugliness Identification Method' or 'finger trap test'
  • Based on the 3.1 ratio, used by surgeons to create 'perfect profile'
  • Trending on Weibo, China's answer to Facebook
  • Place your index finger against chin and nose to see if your lips touch it
  • If they do, you're officially 'beautiful'
Published: 07:19 EST, 1 May 2014 | Updated: 07:56 EST, 2 May 2014

Can a single finger test determine whether you are beautiful or ugly? Apparently so, if the latest social media craze is anything to go by.
On Weibo, the Chinese version of Facebook, thousands of users are participating in the 'Beauty and Ugliness Identification Method' also known as the 'finger trap test'.

So how do you determine if you're 'beautiful'? Place your index finger against your chin and nose to see if your lips touch it. If they do, congratulations, you're officially hot. If they don't, just ignore the results.



 Beauty test: On Weibo, the Chinese version of Facebook, thousands of users are participating in the 'Beauty and Ugliness Identification Method' also known as the 'finger trap test', if your finger touches your lips, you're officially beautiful like James Hollobone, pictured
Even Chinese celebrities have posted photos of themselves trying out the bizarre test, which is trending in over 200,000 Weibo discussions, where the majority of participants are women.

More...
The trend, which was spotted by Vocativ.com., is being dubbed China's digital answer to 'Hot or Not'.
It is loosely based on the 3.1 ratio theory, which is used by cosmetic surgeons to create the 'perfect profile' which equates to your nose, lips and chin all being in a perfect line down your face.





Is he hot? The trend is being dubbed China's digital answer to 'Hot or Not'; Paddy Hyslop, pictured, is beautiful, if the test is anything to go by
Dr Mark Holmes at McIndoe Surgical Centre said of the test: 'This is actually a bone fide test for lower facial symmetry and proportions. It is called Rickett's E-line.
'Like the Golden Ratio devised by the ancient Greeks, they are tests experienced cosmetic doctors use when assessing and planning cosmetic treatments.
'Is it a sign of beauty? That's a stretch. But part of beauty is determined by symmetry and correct proportions. However, it take no account of someone's energy and personality.'




Beautiful: Katy Winter is classed as beautiful, according to the test, which is loosely based on the 3.1 ratio theory used by cosmetic surgeons to create the 'perfect profile'



Not so hot: Bianca London isn't classed as attractive but it's OK, beauty is only skin deep, after all...
Consultant cosmetic surgeon Brent Tanner, who works out of the Spire Tunbridge Wells Hospital, Nuffield Health Brighton Hospital and Montefiore, Hove, added: 'Although this trend is based on classical principles that date back to the time of Leonardo Da Vinci it is a very simplistic view and beauty is based on much more than one set of ratios.
'It’s a fun test to do but must be taken with a pinch of salt. Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder but we must remember that throughout the world different races not only have different characteristics but also different beauty ideals and therefore this is far too general to convey any real meaning.'

WHAT IS RICKETT'S E-LINE?
This concept dates back to the 1950s and the work of the orthodontist Dr. Robert Ricketts, who focused on what he called the 'E-plane'.
This is simply a line drawn from the tip of the nose to the tip of the chin.

He believed that to have what he called a  'pleasing facial profile', in the average Caucasian face, the lips would touch the plane - or in the finger trap's case, the finger- running from the nose to the chin.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Men find women more attractive with LESS make-up on – Attractiveness new research mentioned on the Today Show. Body Language expert Patti Wood comments

The results of the study are below. But this is not real research. They used photos of women with tons of make up on rather than subtle make up and they didn’t randomize the test and the subjects knew what the research study was on creating bias. If they had just been shown photos of women in normal make up and photos of women without make up in a random study with other photos say photos of men and asked to rate on several factors it would have perhaps been an effective study. 

Bare really is beautiful: Men find women more attractive with LESS make-up on

  • Study found men prefer women when they wear less make-up
  • In many cases, men preferred the opposite sex to wear 40% fewer products
  • It also found women think fellow females look better in natural make-up
  • Participants in the study believed other individuals find greater amounts of makeup attractive, but the research proved otherwise
Published: 09:01 EST, 21 March 2014 | Updated: 10:37 EST, 21 March 2014
Women all over the world have been wiping off their make-up and taking photos of themselves to be part of the #nomakeupselfie phenomenon spreading across social networks.
And they might want to consider making the natural snap their profile picture, because a new study has found both men, and women, find females who wear less make-up more attractive.
A Welsh psychologist said people often misjudge what the opposite sex find attractive and, in the majority of cases, men prefer women who wear up to 40 per cent fewer cosmetics. 


Put down the blusher brush: Men think women are more attractive when wearing 40 per cent less make-up, a study has found. Katy Perry is pictured as a more natural beauty, (left) and with bright make-up (right)
Dr Alex Jones, from Bangor University, said there had been an ‘overwhelmingly positive’ reaction to no make-up selfies posted by people on social networks.
While nobody seems to know where the idea came from, it has taken the internet by storm and is thought to have raised over £1million for charity.

More...
It works by women posting a fresh-faced picture of themselves and then nominating friends to do the same, with all people posting that the photos were to 'raise awareness of cancer'.
In Dr Jones' study, he examined the misattributions people make when considering what the opposite sex find attractive in a new study be published in the Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology.

His research project specifically examined the use of cosmetics and found some surprising results.



Dr Jones said: ‘The take home message from this study is that our ideas about what the opposite sex find attractive are often inaccurate, whether it relates to body size, weight, or even something like makeup use'. Kim Kardashian is pictured with a a more natural look (left) and full face of make-up (right)
Participants in the study believed that other individuals find greater amounts of makeup attractive, and he said that women in particular think a full-face or perfectly applied make-up is attractive to men.
In fact, both sexes thought that other men would find greater amounts of make-up more attractive.
However, he said it ‘couldn’t be further from the truth’ and when reporting their preference for make-up, men found women’s faces more attractive when they were much fresher faced.
In some cases, they found women more attractive with 40 per cent less make-up.
The study also claims women shared similar ideas and thought females looked better as more natural beauties.




Natural beauties: Participants in the study believed that other individuals find greater amounts of makeup attractive, and women in particular thought a full-face or perfectly applied make-up is attractive to men. Here, Lady Gaga is shown with a fresh face (left) and in full makeup for a show (right)
AND CLOSE-UP PHOTOS CAN MAKE YOU LOOK LESS ATTRACTIVE AND TRUSTWORTHY, STUDY CLAIMS
The first scientific study to examine the close-up was conducted in 2012 and researchers found they can make people less attractive, regardless of how good looking they are.
According to the study from California Institute of Technology (Caltech), the distance between the subject and the camera makes a big difference in how someone is perceived.
'It turns out that faces photographed quite close-up are geometrically warped, compared to photos taken at a larger distance,' said Ronnie Bryan, who worked on the study.
'Of course, the close picture would also normally be larger, higher resolution and have different lighting - but we controlled for all of that in our study.
'What you're left with is a warping effect that is so subtle that nobody in our study actually noticed it.
'Nonetheless, it's a perceptual clue that influenced their judgments.'
Researchers also found close-up photos made people look less trustworthy, according to study participants.
The close-up photo subjects were also judged to look less attractive and competent.
‘The take home message from this study is that our ideas about what the opposite sex find attractive are often inaccurate, whether it relates to body size, weight, or even something like make-up use,' continued Dr Jones. 
‘The misconceptions play a role in body image and self esteem issues and are sadly based on simple misunderstandings.
‘I hope everyone takes the positive response to their no makeup selfies on board, and well done for raising awareness and money for a good cause!’
The #NoMakeUpSelfie trend shows no sign of dying down.
Earlier this week, Kath Abrahams, director of engagement and income generation at Breakthrough Breast Cancer, said: 'We are delighted to see the success of the no make-up selfie viral campaign.
'It is great to see the British public getting behind the campaign and helping to raise awareness of breast cancer.
'Here at Breakthrough, we have seen a huge spike in the number of unique visitors to our website, smashing our record to date. We have received hundreds of donations from people.
'We would like to thank all those who have supported us, enabling our scientists to continue their life-saving research.
'Breast cancer is not yesterday’s problem; every ten minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer. Anything that gets the public behind this important cause is to be celebrated. It isn’t too late to get involved, so go ahead and text PINK to 70300.'



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Mila and Ashton



Shot with him in white t-shirt.  Most significant is look at his shoulders and how close his arms are to his body and sour mouth and gulping throat. He looks tired, defeated things are going down well. She has her body slightly angled towards him but her shoulder is downward sloping too. Tired 2 rating.




Other photo is the back to belly hold.  I love how she is relaxed and has her full back against him and her hands are on top of his hands to hold them -  nice wishful look also shows she is relaxed.  He is bringing his body to surround her and his hands go around her at the pelvis showing their sexual bond is strong. Very nice a 4 and half.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Expert analyzes the federal government recently indicted local NYC congressman, Michael Grimm

Watch the video and then read body language read of  his first speech addressing the media after the indictment. Patti Wood assesses the congressman’s body. 


“I will try to answer questions the best that I can. “ tongue eraser. This means he is not going to answer questions the best that he can.
“Here is my official statement.”, tongue thrust then eraser.  This means there is a lot more that he wants to say about how angry he is.

“Two and half years …of being bombarded.” Another tongue thrust. Notice how his hands go into a striking motion as he says allegation after allegation.  My read here is he would like to perhaps say a few choice curse words here to the people who bombarded him.

Interesting, look at the piece where he says, “…when I won.” He presses his lips together and does another small tongue eraser and a micro facial cue of sadness. My read is he feels the win was not a win for him personally that others didn't recognize it in the way he wanted and that it came at a cost.

Interesting. Listen to his statement. “So let me be perfectly clear.” There are several paralanguage cues, but the most interesting is how he aggressively strikes, so let me be perfectly clear. He is very mad would like to be yelling here, but he has to look down and read, “I will not abandon my post…” He wants to say something different than his prepared statement.

Notice as he finishes also his downward facing corners of his mouth. He would like to be crying here.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard


Notice how pulled back her pelvis is. Her upper body is straight as a board and her legs are taunt and she is walking stiffly. Along with the distant gaze and pressed together lips she is showing lots of tension even notice how Johnny is bent over, head bowed and feet close together shuffling like an old man. He is weary, but he still makes an extreme effort to reach back and hold her hand. This is a difficult time for them. They are showing tension and wear. I give them a 2 because of the hand hold.



The red carpet photo shows how much fun they were having. Look at her proud posture and smile and how he holds her weight. I think I read another one like this for you a while ago. I love how they are overlapping bodies at upper chest. Great that she can lean on him and how her hand on her hip shows she can hold her own.  Don't like that her head is tilted away but she looks so happy and her lean is so into him. I give this a 4

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian



I love them in the photo with him in the rose colored T-shirt where they are holding hands.  The sideways entertained handhold shows their tenderness comes from each other equally. I also love how she is bending her knees and offering her pelvis, and arching up her chest and head into the kiss and his pelvis is forward to her. I give it a 5



The other photo, remembering how hard it is to read a photo of a couple walking shows him far ahead in body guard position.  If you notice his uplifted head and subtle smile that plays up to his small yes true happiness you see he is content in that role. She is more guarded. See how she holds on to him like a child to her dad in the grocery story. She is pulling back a bit, see her straight arm. I want you to protect me, but on the other hand I am a big girl. I don't like that she has her cell phone as she holds him. It’s symbolic of how work comes first.  They are still very much a new couple but she has to change how she interacts and uses her power.  I give this a 3.



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Kaley & Ryan





Patti observes that although the above couple are confidently striding together, Ryan's furrowing his brow a bit while Kaley is looking upward to him for reassurance.  They don't seem like blissful newlyweds during a Beverly Hills shopping trip. (January 2004 pic) This couple gets a 3 on Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.

However, during a March 22 playdate, they couldn't keep their hands off each other.  Patti loves how their toes touch during the embrace and how Kaley grabs his butt!  They are really connected!! (March 2014 pic) This couple gets a 5 on Life & Style True Love Rating Scale.

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Why Mehrabain’s Research on Nonverbal Communication and the Meaning of the Message is as Quoted is Inaccurate

I believe that understanding and reading body language is a profoundly useful method for us to read the hearts of others. There is a world of meaning in our nonverbal communication from a glance, a gesture, a tone of voice and more.  But, I am I would like to debunk the myth that 55% of communication is nonverbal.  How many times have you seen the inaccurate statistics about nonverbal communication by Albert Mehrabian saying that the meaning of a message is communicated:
  •  7%   by your words
  •  38% by you tone of voice
  •  55%. by your body language
This interpretation of Mehrabian has been debunked many times, but still it persists.  Let’s talk what is true about the experiments by Mehrabian. And what his research looked like.
The research subject heard one word said different ways and was able to detect different meanings. Yes, that’s right, the subjects heard only one word and were asked what meaning was communicated!
First, what is true about the meaning being communicated nonverbally?  The meaning of the message can be changed by its nonverbal delivery. Take for example how someone says a particular word or words like “love”, “hate” or “my boss” in a sentence.  What someone really intends to communicate can vary depending on their tone of voice, how their inflection rises and falls or how they stress certain words.  That is their paralanguage changes. Writer Clella Jaffe gives an example "A movie character is accused of shooting a clerk in a convenience store. When the sheriff asks, "Why did you shoot the clerk?" the suspect responds, "I shot the clerk?"(pause)" I shot the clerk?" At the trial, the sheriff testifies that the accused confessed twice, clearly saying "I shot the clerk." The sheriff says the statement as if it were factual, whereas the suspect's rising voice inflection and stressed words indicates that he's asking a question-drastically changing the meaning of the literal words".
Mehrabian’s experiments
The Mehrabian formula comes from two studies in nonverbal communication carried out by Mehrabian and two colleagues in 1967.  That’s correct people are quoting research from over 40 years ago. There is no current research that replicated this particular finding. Twenty years later in my Masters and Doctoral Program in nonverbal communication our textbooks still quoted this research and we talked about its inaccurate referencing. We are still quoting it and we are still using it and debating it today.
To summarize, Mehrabian’s studies asked participants to judge the feelings of a speaker by listening to a recording of a single word spoken in different tones of voice.
In the first study, the participants had to rate the feelings of the speaker after listening to each of nine different words. Each word spoken separately rather than in a sentence with context.  The words spoken were often inconsistent with the tone of voice used. For example, the word “brute” spoken in a positive tone. Each time they had to make a rating just on the single word they had listened to.
In the second study, only one word was used. It was chosen to be as neutral as possible: the word was “maybe.” They listened to a recording of the word “maybe” said in different tones and at the same time were shown photos of different facial expressions.
It’s from these experiments that Mehrabian suggested – but did not prove – the formula.
The limitations of Mehrabian’s formula
Mehrabian has himself attempted to limit the application of this formula:
Please note that this and other equations regarding relative importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Unless a communicator is talking about their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.
So if we limit the formula to the specific conditions of the experiments, it is only applicable if:
  • a speaker is using only one word,
  • their tone of voice is inconsistent with the meaning of the word, and
  • the judgment being made is about the feelings of the speaker.
What do other researchers say?
Mehrabian’s findings were frequently discussed in the psychological literature on nonverbal communication through the 1970s and 1980s. Researchers have made the following critiques of the methodology of his studies:
  1. They only used two or three people to do the speaking for the experiments.
  2. They take no account of the extent to which the speakers could produce the required tone of voice.
  3. They were artificial situations with no context.
  4. The communication model on which they were based, has now been shown to be too simple.
  5. They take no account of the characteristics of the observers making the judgments.
  6. The purpose of the experiments was not hidden from the participants.

For more detail on these critiques go to Mehrabian’s studies in nonverbal communication and once you are there scroll down to the findings. 

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Patti's Recent Book was Mentioned in the Wall Street Journal as a Resource to Help Improve the Growing Need to Improve Likability in the Workplace


The Wall Street Journal columnist, Sue Shellenbarger, when asked for additional resources to help improve the growing need to improve likability in the workplace she suggested Patti's recent book, SNAP - Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma. 


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Pistorius body language and paralanguage, crying and stonefaced nonverbal cues durring his trial for possibly murdering his girlfriend:


 What I find interesting in Pistorius body language and paralanguage  is the shift from his normally very charismatic body language with a very mobile expressive face and lots of movement to the following nonverbal cues in this trial for murdering his girlfriend:

·        Stone faced  when most people would be showing sadness, loss. (remember he is normally very expressive, his face moves! When listening the testimony before his questioning he seems focused cool and calm till his "breakdown."

·         Frozen in place body language, posture ridged when most people would show grief or stress– an indication does not feel the appropriate emotions or feels  the need to hide his true emotion.  To be clear the timing of his stiff frozen body language is not the not freeze in  place body language from fear. In fact he expresses freely when he is defending himself, but when he should be showing grief he freezes.

·        Steely long gazes of hate at the prosecuting attorney, that allows you to see how his anger could have caused a murderous rage.

·        Paralanguage  strong and faced paced (vocal cues)  as his argues with the prosecuting attorney that rarely shows any grief or distress but ,instead is fast paced within each sentence  and at times strong and argumentative responses and explanations to the prosecuting attorney.  If you just LISTEN to him being questioned by the prosecuting attorney and pay no attention to the words you would think that a teenager was having an argument with his father.  When he is questioned at one point he says with his words, "didn't have time to think." but his explanations for his behavior before and after he makes that statement seem specific and concrete, details coming from his rational neocortex. He remembers so many tiny actions and does not miss sharing any of them as he responds to tough questions. He is fighting in this trail, and he fights with details.
 

·        At times fake overly dramatic crying. Sadly, I am experienced, because of my work as a body language expert  to distinguish how people  cry in true grief in a multitude of circumstances. People tend to move and shift as they cry publicly (often in the primitive emotional brains attempt to get  the horror out and away from the body) You may seem to see the waves of grief wash through them again and again. Sometimes they curl up in a protective snail like posture.  They may shake when they cry.  If they put their hand to their face it is typically a hand trying to wipe the tears, symbolically whipping away the grief. Or to holding both hands over the face and pressing in to hold in the grief or letting the grief escape out and overwhelm them. What they don’ typically do is what  Pistorius does when he cry’s. They don’t  make themselves bigger that is what we do when we feel confident.  They would be more likely in this setting to make their grief intimate and private as they connect with their lost loved one as their grieve.  You may see dramatic movements in someone grieving a loved one  in  the moments right after the bad news or when surrounded by family more likely in parents and female spouses . Pistorius tears are acted they are not motivated from true grief or lost.

·        Pistorius bent over crying. First he moves first in a  big and dramatic ways  in his crying jag but, he  cannot sustain it in its natural wave flow or real grief.  Instead he bend over and holds still  hidden  as he cry. The sound of grief crying tends to come in waves that fade and build not just build then stop.  I hate that I know that, but yes there is a difference. I don't like seeing someone fake cry and not say he is sorry over and over again.
 
       No so sorry. People who are truly sorry often repeat the sorry two or three times in a row each apology with emotion often in waves of emotion. So it may sound like this. I am so story. I am so, (breaking voice) so sorry. (gulp in) so sorry (sorry fades out)

 
Anyone may change how they feel and act when under trial for murdering their girlfriend. But typically the baseline personality and aspects of movement even when even considering grief and fear have similarities to their true self.  And there is a second baseline I use when reading people under stress. That is the baseline of what is normal for anyone under this particular stress


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.