10 Best Ways to
Make a Great First Impression
Patti was interviewed by Advantages
Magazine to get her expertise on the subject how to make a great first
impression.
10 Best Ways to Make a
Great First Impression
Susan Thomas Springer
First impressions last.
Here’s how to make yours the best.
Seven seconds or less. That’s all the time you have to make a first impression.
From studies
where viewers saw a
microsecond of political candidates and predicted who would win the
election to studies measuring
the impact of eye contact, first impressions are a well-dissected
human interaction.
First impressions are strongly held, too, underscoring the importance of making
a positive one.
Luckily this need not add to
your worries going into a sales meeting. Instead, try these smart
tips from experts who have
made it their business to coach others on making great first impressions.
1. BE YOURSELF
“Playing a character on TV is totally different from being the best and
brightest version of yourself,” says Alexa Fischer, a graduate of the Yale
School of Drama, actress in television shows
and commercials, and
communication coach (www.alexafischer.com). “Salespeople have this
sort of concept of how
they’re supposed to be – they’ve got to be on. But in reality, it goes back
to the golden rule. You do
unto others how you would wish they would do unto you.”
Fischer says people should be aware of their “default face” and the message it
sends. Is it a sour
expression or naturally warm
and pleasant? When entering a sales meeting or networking
event, you can make a
conscious choice to come from your most positive place. “A great
first impression begins by
staying firmly planted in Camp Positive – be your warm, open, engaging and
authentic self,” she says.
2. NO NEGATIVITY
Maybe you’re anxious about meeting a potential new customer. Whatever the
origin of negative
thoughts, take steps to
overcome them because your mindset is obvious to others. “If you go
in with that nervousness and
insecurity that you have to get this sale, you have to meet your
quota, forget about it,” says
Fischer. “People can smell stress 100 yards away.”
Relieve negative thoughts by taking long, deliberate breaths or listening to
relaxing music.
Most importantly, focus on
how you can be of service to others. When you do this, “all of a
sudden, miraculously, the
attention is not on you, your problems, your negative chatter and
the pressure you feel,” she
says. “You’re dialing into the other person and that’s what sets
you free. When we can get out
of our own way and stop being crippled by negative thoughts,
we can go about life with so
much more generosity and abundance,” adds Fischer.
3. NOTICE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Two people can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute,
according
to Patti Wood, sales trainer
and author of SNAP – Making the Most of First Impressions Body
Language and Charisma
(www.pattiwood.net).
Wood, who has studied first impressions and body language for 33 years, says
the limbic
or reptilian brain is busy
processing emotional and sensory cues from gestures, body
orientation, facial
expressions, tempo, speaking rate and dress. It produces a high degree of
accuracy and gives you that
feeling in your stomach about whether or not you like a person.
Wood says people can learn to be skillful at both sending and reading body
language. She
coaches people in everything
from walking to hand gestures to allow them to come across as
persuasive, engaging and
confident.
Her tips, based in science, include planting your feet firmly on the ground
with weight evenly
distributed. Square your
shoulders since that communicates power. Keep your hands in
view so it doesn’t look like
you’re hiding. With knowledge and an awareness of your own body
language “you can feel as
powerful as you wish to be,” she says.
4. MATCH THEIR VOICE
Listen to your customers’ “hello,” then match the tone, speaking rate and
volume. Don’t go
too loud and fast if they are
going soft and low. Wood calls this approach dancing with your
partner.
“Research says if you do that, then to them you sound like a friend – you sound
safe,” says Wood. “That’s why we don’t like pushy or over-the-top salespeople
because they’re not naturally in our rhythm.”
Wood studied smiling for the dental industry and found it actually changes the
mechanics of your voice. “Smiling relaxes and lengthens your vocal chords so
your voice has a more mellow and warm quality to it,” she says.
Even when a first impression occurs by phone, smiling still makes a difference.
Also, don’t rush
through a series of calls
doing them all the same way.
“When you make a sales call, you should listen very intently to how they answer
the phone,”
she says. “They’re going to
reveal their emotional state. Ideally we should match that emotional
state.”
5. GET FEEDBACK
How do you know how you come across? Ann Demarais, who holds a Ph.D. in
Psychology
from New York University and
founded First Impressions executive coaching
(www.firstimpressionsconsulting.com/pages/businesscoaching.html),
says we all have blind spots.
So ask trusted friends or your spouse for feedback. Ask them
what you’re doing well and
for at least one thing you can improve on. “It’s hard for people
to honestly tell you the
constructive stuff, so you need to open the door and say ‘I really want
to learn,’” says Demarais.
A good time to pay attention to how you present yourself to new people is in
more challenging
social situations such as
parties or networking events. If you notice you speak more than you
listen, make a conscious
habit to ask questions before you share.
Just like trying to learn a new golf swing, it’s hard to make many changes at
once. So pick one
trait to improve and work on
it until it feels comfortable. “Personal development is a life-long
journey, so take it one thing
at a time,” says Demarais.
6. LEAD WITH THE POSITIVE
Research shows that if you start a meeting by complaining about the jerk who
stole your
parking space, it reflects
negatively on you. Demarais says we “mentally muddle stuf” so
sharing a positive anecdote
leaves others with a higher opinion of you.
“Whenever you speak positively or passionately about other people or things,
those traits get
reflected on you,” she says.
“The very first things that people see or hear about you are more
likely to be the way they
will perceive you all the time.”
So begin with the positive and leave challenging subjects for later.
Thankfully, if there
are bumps in your future
relationship, people will minimize them based on their positive first
impression.
It’s a like a social gift to put others in a better mood rather than being a
downer. It’s also key
to first impressions since
people remember more how you made them feel rather than the
details of what you said.
“Making a good first impression is about being socially generous,” says
Demarais. “It’s
about putting other people’s
needs first. So seeking to make them happy, to make them feel
satisfied, to compliment
them, to put them in a better mood, will ultimately be reflected in the
way they see you.”
7. DRESS FOR SUCCESS
“With first impressions, 55% is based on your visual, your clothing and your
body language,”
says Roz Usherof, President
of the Usherof Institute and author of The Future of You! Creating
Your Enduring Brand
(usherof.com).”Then comes your tone of voice, that’s 38%. And then
7% is content.”
Dress appropriately for the type of company and level of person. For example,
you might
wear a suit to a bank, but
not a software company. If you’re selling an innovative product,
don’t show up with an
out-of-date hairstyle or eyeglass frames. Usherof says it’s not about
being pretty or handsome;
it’s about presenting yourself in an appealing and approachable
manner.
“You could deny that clothing counts, but it’s so impactful,” adds Usherof. As
such, when
she pursued her first
clients, she rode the elevator in their building at lunchtime to see how
employees dressed. That
sleuthing enabled her to arrive neither over- nor under-dressed for
that environment.
She recommends using caution in showing a lot of piercings and tattoos. “People
that are really
cool and funky could still
have a look of polish,” says Usherof. “Just don’t look like you showed
up after the weekend and
didn’t change your clothes.”
Today, business people often check each other out online before they meet in
person. So, no
beach vacation or glamour
shots on LinkedIn.
Also, dress needs to be consistent. Usherof says you can’t show up looking
great for the first
meeting and then slack of
thinking, “'I’ve already got them.' You really have to reinforce – it’s
branding.”
8. SMALL TALK LEADS TO BIG TALK
“Your ability to really engage people with small talk, just for a few seconds,
and the warmth of
how you deliver your first
impression is very critical,” says Usherof. She suggests looking around the
office to see if there is a simple way to start a conversation, such as a
family photo.
“Try to make that little small talk without being invasive, to relax the
person,” she says. Practicing what she calls “host behavior” also helps with
small talk. “Imagine they’re coming into your home and you’ve never met them.
How would you welcome them? How would you make them feel important?”
Begin the meeting trying to truly connect. Be polite. Ask where they’d like you
to sit. Look
at their business card and
perhaps comment on how nice it is.
Reiterating a point often made in business articles, “People do business with
people they like
and feel they can trust,”
says Usheroff.
9. EXPECT THE BEST
Even the most confident-seeming people feel self-doubt in meeting new people.
So remember
your strengths and the
qualities your friends admire about you. “Go in with the expectation of
being liked and then you feel
more confident and you can have more self-awareness about
areas where you might want to
grow,” says Demarais.
While most people practice podium speeches, they may not prepare for meetings.
Demarais
recommends asking yourself
the hardest question you could get in a meeting such as, “Why
should I switch vendors?” or
questions about price.
Play your answer into a recorder to make sure you came across in an upbeat and
confident
manner. Once you’ve faced the
worst, you can expect the best.
10. BE PRESENT
After you’ve done your homework, researched the customer’s business and practiced
your pitch,
you’re prepared so you can
tune in to the present moment. Don’t try to wing it. Practice allows
you to be grounded and calm.
“I’m a huge fan of letting go after you’ve done the proper preparation,” says
Fischer “Then, just
get in the world you’re in
right now. We’re so distracted by our phones and distracted by our
to-do list and we’ve got a
million things swirling around in our brains.”
One way to get present is to really see your world. Look around and notice the
color of the
walls or people’s nametags.
Anchor yourself in the time and place you’re in.
“Focus on them rather than yourself,” says Wood. “Don’t think about the next
thing you’re
going to say or how you look
– just connect.”
Susan Thomas Springer is an ORbased contributor to Advantages.
When you need a second chance
Despite your best efforts, less-than-stellar first impressions happen. How can
you fix that? Roz
Usheroff says while you can’t
convince everyone to see you in a new light, these steps will
encourage them to reconsider
their original impression.
• Be direct. Tell the person that you may have misrepresented yourself and that
you’d like to
correct that. Tell them it’s
important to have a meaningful relationship with them and you want
to hear what they have to say
and meet their needs.
• Be your own best PR person. Find ways to demonstrate your value. It’s not
about chest
pounding, but about making
things happen.
• Recognize it will take time and many positive encounters to erase a bad one.
Be patient and
persistent.
Handshake 101
Learn the right way to shake hands so you don’t miss this important connection.
“The handshake is equal to three hours of face-to-face interaction in its
ability to establish
rapport, so you don’t want to
miss out on it,” says Patti Wood.
• Start early. Wood recommends putting out your hand when you are five to six
feet away to show your intention.
• Get good palm contact. With fingers together, scoop down and up into the web
of the hand
to make palm to palm contact.
Wood says the limbic brain reads this as, “They are unarmed. I can trust them.”
• Match their energy in strength and grip.
• Shake again when you leave. That signals “game over” or a fresh start so you
can return and
sell again in the future.
Article Link Below pages
116-120:
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at
www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at
www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at
http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
