12 Travel Hacks to Make Your Hotel Room More Comfortable and What to pack for your next trip.

I am a professional speaker and have been traveling every week for over 25 years. 

1. I use potato chip bag clips to clip curtains, (They are much better than clothes pins) I also carry duct tape to tape the right and left edges of the curtains to the walls. I also use it to go over the clock and other little white lights that seem to be on the light switches, floor plugs, lamps and all over hotel rooms these days. Hate them.
2. I carry a hot pink velour tract suit jacket to keep warm and to put over the bed side lamp to keep the horrible blue light bulb light from keeping me awake and to give my hotel room a nice soft pink glow. It's lovely. I may also carry the red piece of plastic from Wal Mart to tape over other blue lights.
3. www.walmart.com/ip/American-DJ-CGS-9A-9x9-Gel-Sheet-Packet-A/24672214?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=1193&adid=22222222227018333929&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=75836275714&wl4=pla-176138869234&wl5=9010772&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=112561658&wl11=online&wl12=24672214&wl13=&veh=sem 
4. Even though I ask that my hotel room bill NOT be put under my door as it wakes me up!!! Hotels still do it. So I tape a note on the bottom of the door outside my hotel room. With a drawing of the bill under door with a circle with a cross through it. By the way, they still untape the sign and sometimes and ram the bill through!!!
5. Sometimes the hotel room air is very, very dry and hard on my voice as I am a professional speaker, There are too many germs in the shower to run the shower steam and that wastes water, so I take a wash cloth and soak it in hot water and breathe that steam and hot water in and sometimes lay it on my face and lay down for a moment, so it's also calming.
6. I work out when I travel and if I strain anything I either use the dry cleaning bag and fill it with ice or my shower cap to wrap say a strained knee.
7. The ice bucket liner, the dry cleaning bag in the closet or my shower cap can also be used to pack a wet bathing suit or spilled make up or shampoo.
8. Because I have hacked the ice bag trick so many times I also pack a few gallon zip locked freezer bags. Freezer bags or the ice bucket lining can be used to go over the channel changer so you don’t have to touch that germy device. I don’t typically watch TV when I travel, but sometimes I need to comment on the body language of some public figure so I have it ready.
9. I carry a pumice stone it can take off magic marker and other stains from your hands if you are very gentle in a pinch so can a cardboard nail file. 
10. I have a little photo of me with my family taped to a bent piece of cardboard that I put on my bedside table in the hotel room. It's wonderfully comforting. 
11. I ask the bellman to unplug the mini fridge for me as the sound drives me crazy, but I have figured out how to get behind almost any cabinet to unplug it myself. 
12. I take the sheet from the second bed or get a sheet from house keeping to lay on top of the bedspread as the bedspread my be germy and I want to be able to pull it up and use it. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

10 Tips For Looking Young In a Job Interview!!!

I just got a media request for ways to look young in a job interview. Here are some tips I rewrote  from my book, "People Savvy."

·         Think up and move up: Practice walking so your whole body lifts up. When you walk into a room hold your shoulders back and your head up.This communicates youth, power and confidence. Nose down or you'll look like a snob!

·         Smile and shake hands: Make eye contact right away, smile and put out your hand for a handshake. Make full contact with your palm to their palm, pump with extra energy.

·         Say it strong: During personal interactions, make sure your voice shows your energy and enthusiasm, stresses Wood. Hold the strength and volume of your voice all the way to the end of a sentence. Speak with energy and lots of joy to sound young.

·         No repeats: Get your hearing and eyesight checked professionally. If you squint, have trouble reading, and have dated eye wear, you look old. If you ask for things to be repeated because you are hard of hearing, you look old and out of touch. I have coached clients who bent over and arched forward as they walked and or interacted looking much older than they were, because they were straining to see and or hear.

·         Fashion flair: Dress current in colors, style and jewelry, including your watches (Young people don’t wear watches, the carry cell phones). Peruse high-end stores to get ideas -- then buy something similar at Winners or Marshalls.

·         Take a seat. Research reveals that women tend to perch on the edge of their seats, while men tend to slouch. But perching the entire time will make you look less powerful. "Sit back in the chair, use lots of space, and put you arms on the armrest to look confident." And sit up straight, guys! Slouching makes people look old and tired rather than vital and energetic. "Sit forward slowly as you share certain information your confident in."

·         No purse: "Your purse not only sends a strong female signal, it gives you one more thing to worry about and fuss over. When woman sit down they usually have over 16 separate movements. Men have three and look much more together and organized." If you can't go empty handed, consider a high end leather folder. If a purse is a must, be sure your purse is the newest hippest purse. Fashion forward. streamlined and small!!!!  in black, brown or tan It should not necessarily match your shoes as being matchy matchy is old school and dates your look.

·         Go for color. Accessorize with a flattering color around your face. You want to wear hip, hot colors that make your skin glow and make you feel good."

·         Don't wear your glasses down on your nose. Glasses that come down on your nose, even a little bit make you look much older. Keep your glasses tightened and high on your face. Again, think up."

·         Press shirt and jacket collars to perfection and, whenever you can, wear them so they go "up" to create lift around you

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Does Rubbing the Nose or Putting Your Hand Over Your Mouth Mean?

What Does Rubbing the Nose or Putting Your Hand Over Your Mouth Mean?

By Patti Wood MA, Body Language Expert

Author of “SNAP! Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma”

Have you ever wondered what someone was thinking but not saying?  Let’s say you see a prospect rubbing their nose. It could just mean he has allergies. How do you know that’s all it is or if it reveals something more? The first secret is the timing of the “Tell.” If someone has allergies they would throughout the conversation, because his allergies would continue to bother him. But let’s say, he wasn’t rubbing his nose, and then suddenly right as you ask about his budget to go forward with the purchase, he rubs his nose. A sudden cue is more likely to be a “tell” that reveals that the person’s discomfort is coming from the conversation occurring at that moment. A nose, eye and ear rubbing can, depending on what is going on in the moment, signify disbelief, disagreement, and dishonesty as in, “Boy, this doesn’t smell right to me!”

A signal called a mouth guard is also revealing. Someone may cover their mouth throughout a conversation, simply because he is self-conscious about his teeth or smile, but often when someone covers their mouth for an entire interaction, and also gives submissive cues, the mouth guard can signal nervousness, shyness or a lack of self-esteem. We tend to spontaneously put our hands over our mouths so the truth won’t come out.  A prospect may cover their mouth when he does not want someone to know he is upset, lying or because he is suppressing a negative thought.  You can learn revealing nonverbal cues and how to follow the “Easy Steps” conversation plan to get to the truth in my program Body Honesty, Deception Detection.  Below is an outline of the program and if you would like me to present this program to your group, just give me a call or email me.

Course Description –Body Honesty, Deception Detection

Can you read body honesty? You can send and receive up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute of interaction. That is all potential information for you to use. Whatever insights you already have into body language and nonverbal communication would you like to know even more? Do you know particular words and phrases that signal someone is lying? Would you like to know the newest research and cutting edge techniques to discover someone is telling you the truth or lying and how to question effectively if you think they are lying?

You need to be aware of what customers are saying to you and you need to be closely monitoring for honesty and deception cues given non-verbally with voice cues and body language. Research on deception confirms that these cues give the most accurate indication of people truest emotions and can reveal most accurately when someone is lying.

In this program you will not only learn to watch for cues but also to  use questioning techniques and  special "monitoring" cues of your own to check for honesty. In addition, you will learn how to be credible in your business and personal relationships.

You are very skilled at you do and knowing new techniques for detecting deception can take you to the next level. You will get a “people" microscope, magic "night/deception" vision goggles and high tech hearing deception tools. You will suddenly see and understand things you have never seen and heard before. Whatever skills you have now, these insights can make you much more confident and more successful. This workshop gives you very specific and practical tools to help you read body honesty.

Some of the insights include:
• How to tell the difference  between nervousness and deception cues
• How to get a “baseline” of behavior to get the best read
• The best way to hold your hands to show truthfulness
• How introverts and extroverts lie differently
• The difference between a real smile and a masking smile
• What the movement of the eyes reveal about our thoughts
• The role of body and facial animation as an honesty indicator
• How the heart and other "body windows" hide or reveal emotions
• How tongue lip and mouth movements reveal lies. .
• What part of the body is the most "honest?"
• What parts of the face are the most deceptive?
• How to read pauses and word usage
• What space and territory reveal about truth telling
• The role of body and facial animation as an honesty indicator
• How the heart and other body windows reveal emotions.
• What is the best way to "catch" a liar?
• …And Much More

How to spot a liar pretest
Body language and Nonverbal Communication           
-The brain body connection that changes how you and the physician feel
-Paired exercise - arms up and out and yell
-How to read body language in the right context and order to increase your accuracy.

Space, Territory, and Body Windows
-How space affects level of self-disclosure and honesty
-How seating strategy affects your "read"           
-How is power communicated non-verbally and how that affect the "read"
-How to read body windows of the feet, legs, heart, palms, neck, eyes, and head.
-Group exercise “watching body windows”    
              
Kinesthetic
-How to watch for leakage cues in hand movements
-Gestures and what they mean
-How people use artifacts to block

Establishing Rapport and trust
-Matching and Mirroring
-How to accurately match voices over the phone and in person.
-Matching Body Language
-Matching Breathing
-Paired Exercises

Facial Expressions
-Facial Expressions and what they can tell you
-Facial Expression cue sheet
           
The Eyes Have It
-Eye Contact
-Rapid Eye Blinks
-Breaking Eye Contact
-Paired exercise

How to check for honesty by what you say and do  
   
Questioning techniques and information gathering

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Successful People Spend 10 Hours a Week in “Compound Time” of Play and Open Creative Expression

Successful People Spend 10 Hours a Week in

“Compound Time” of Play and Open Creative Expression

What do you do to open up your mind and be in flow? What can you do each day and week to be a leader, a change maker?  It’s having “Compound Time.”

Before I read the article below I thought I was just living a blissful life. I journal, walk and read every day, get coaching on my books and songs and I just had my first guitar lesson. Those are ways of compounding your time and I know those rituals in my life, make it blissful, fulfilling and highly creative!

https://medium.com/the-mission/why-successful-people-spend-10-hours-a-week-on-compound-time-79d64d8132a8

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Quickest Way to Spot a Lie

Patti shared her insights on the quickest way to spot a lie with the Today Show.  See her insights highlighted below and check out the entire article at the link below.

https://www.today.com/series/one-small-thing/quickest-way-spot-lie-t114710

The Quickest Way to Spot a Lie

Sure, you may think you’re pretty good at reading people. But can you really catch a smooth liar in action?

It’s possible, and body language is the crucial clue: your body language, that is. It turns out that you may actually be able to detect deception by paying attention to your own body’s reactions.
“Typically we think about watching and observing the other person to catch them in a lie,” body language expert Patti Wood, the author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language & Charisma," told TODAY. “Paying attention to your body can be incredibly useful.”
That’s because your subconscious picks up thousands of cues per minute, Wood said — far more than you could ever detect by watching someone for a particular tic. Typically, liars subtly demonstrate a number of stress cues that your body will pick up on, she explained.

As it takes in those subconscious cues, your body will start to respond: You may feel a little nauseous, get a headache or funny feeling in your stomach, start sweating or change the pace of your breathing. According to Wood, that’s because your body is actually alerting you that something is not quite right — that the person in front of you is stressed for some reason.

Body language and communication expert Dr. Lillian Glass agreed. “When someone lies, your own autonomic nervous system can pick it up,” she told TODAY. Your face might then react, for instance, you might automatically purse your lips, squint your eyes or cock your head to the side, Glass said.
“If you pay attention to your own reactions in terms of the nuances of your own body language, it can help validate that you have just heard a lie,” Glass said.

There are a few caveats, though. First of all, an experienced liar (such as a sociopath) may not give off as many stress cues, meaning your body may not react the same way. Furthermore, you could be creating that stressful situation yourself if you go into a situation trying to “catch” someone in a lie, Wood said — meaning you can’t trust your own body’s responses there, either. Instead, try to cultivate a demeanor that is credible, honest and trustworthy, so someone feels safe entrusting you with the truth, Wood advised.
And always remember exactly why you’re hoping to catch someone in a lie.

“We sometimes are looking for these cues so that we don’t have to have a difficult conversation with somebody,” Wood said. “Ask yourself, what is the result that I want?” Be honest with yourself about your motivations — because even if you do catch someone in a lie, you have to be prepared to handle the truth after that.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Alpha Signals Are Not Clear Signals a Man is Unfaithful

Do Alpha Signals mean a man is unfaithful? Not really! Here are my notes for the story I did for "The Independent." If you look at my notes below then read the article at the below link you can see a difference in what I sent them and the story. 

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/alpha-male-body-language-cheating-relationships-partner-expert-infidelity-a7892791.html

Alpha signals are not automatically a signal that a man is being unfaithful. However attraction and sex may create an increase in testosterone and creates subtle changes in the body like increased skin tone. Men may also preen standing taller. So they may be seen a bigger. They may also increase their size by elevating and pushing out their chest, pulling back their shoulders and giving off strong alpha male signals.

The broad leg stance is particularly interesting. Legs held apart when standing provide a stable base for the person. Standing with feet about the width of the shoulders is a normal, relaxed pose.

Slightly wider indicates that the person feels grounded and confident.  A wider stance makes the body wider and hence appear bigger and is a signal of power and dominance. This also takes up more territory and shows domination.  Taking a stable position is readying the body in case the other person attacks. So it may show that a man has a new mate he wants to guard.

Open legs displays makes the males sex organs vulnerable, showing, “I am so strong you won’t even attempt to hurt me, I am fearless." This display can be a sexual display (especially men to women) or a show of power (especially between men).

Legs planted firmly and far apart (more than 9 inches apart) is primarily a mail pelvic display. It is a way of saying, “This is my space, I own it and I am not moving.”  It’s an alpha signal because it highlights the male’s external sex organs saying, “I am man.”

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

5 Reasons Women Believe Their Cheating Lovers Aren't Lying

The media piece I did last week on the body language signs of cheating just came out this morning.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/alpha-male-body-language-cheating-relationships-partner-expert-infidelity-a7892791.html

That piece inspired me to write:

"5 Reasons Women Believe Their Cheating Lovers Aren’t Lying” 

by Patti Wood professional speaker and author of 

"Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma"

If you read this and suspect your sweetie of cheating talk to him. You may get an honest response. Do know that if you see the signs and wonder why you didn’t notice and fell for the deceit you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Here are four reasons you may have been fooled.

Loving body language is the opposite of lying body language - I share in all my Establishing Credibility and Detecting Deception programs that the research on deception shows that the person you love can lie with the greatest ease. In part because loving body language is the antithesis of deception body language and in addition your love makes you want to trust.

Let’s just look at just a few of the body language cues that can confuse you. When people lie they tend to withdrawal, not touch you and not match and mirror your body language. Your love partner may be physically close, sleep in the same bed, touch you, match and mirror you and even continue to make significant eye contact, and other loving cues that can fool you into thinking they are truth tellers. Most people feel guilty when they lie and or fear being discovered so they show stress cues when they lie and have difficulty lying well. So Everyday liars have tells! 
Professional liars such as undercover cops, may not feel guilt because they need to lie to do their job and survive. And liars who have mental health issues may not have tells because they just plain don't feel guilt or remorse.  

Your love can create a “Truth Bias”- Research shows that as we become more trusting, we also become more confident, but less accurate at determining when the truth is being told (Levine & McCornack, 1992; McCornack & Parks, 1986)

When people are in love, they of course feel close and trust in their romantic partners and know them well and think they know everything about them. While this trust provides people with a sense of security and comfort, it creates an opportunity for deception called the “truth bias.” Your blind faith in your love makes you ripe for deceit as the very foundation of intimacy is that you trust so who is a better victim than the person who believes you the most!

You may think you have gained an extra special ability detect lies from your love- Because you spend so much time with them and believe their is intimacy you think you know them like no one else knows them. In fact, as intimacy increase so does your confidence in your ability to read you man. Even when part of you feel there is something wrong if someone else tells you, "He is lying", or "He is dating someone else." You may feel or say, "Oh, I know him, he would never do that."

You may have lost trust in yourself that would help you be discerning - You may also get lost in the instability of the crazy tilt and whirl. Even when you do know something is wrong, and talk to your partner and they continue to lie, to the extent you begin to lose faith in instincts and question your very honest and accurate feelings of insecurity. You can tilt back and forth between absolute trust and absolute lack of trust. You can look them in the eye and say, “I know something’s wrong.” And they can look you in the eye and say, “Darling I would never do anything to hurt you,” and lean in to kiss you and rub your back. You feel at a gut level the  mismatch of love and deception being presented together. It can be intense and painful. You want to claim the love message’s truth but at some level you know something is wrong. This may swirl you into a crazy tilt and whirl of instability. Again the messages of love and the messages of a lack of love that feel like the lack of love or decent, "I love you I want you I need you, but I have to go out of town for a week and I will be out of touch." The cheater can even create this crazy tilt and whirl without malice. They may love you, but they lie because they just happen to also love and or be attracted to someone else too. Or they may create the crazy ride out of more selfish reasons, such as the desire for power, control, thrills or mental health issues such as narcissism. (Google the term Love Bombing for more information for more information on the more malicious form of this crazy making.) 

Some lovers are really good at lying - Lying over and over again on a sometimes daily basis to your lover can make you an expert liar. That doesn't make them inherently horrible people, just people that may no longer give you the normal nonverbal and verbal signs of deceit. Some lying lovers may justify their lying by saying to themselves, "I don't want her to know because it would hurt her and I want to save her pain." and therefore not show nonverbal signs of guilt. Their fear level may be low, as they know they have succeeded at lying in the past. Conversely lying lovers may have a desire for excitement and or feelings of power that living on the edge, and undercover may provide. They may get some of that power derived from the “dupers delight,” that thrill some people get at fooling someone. They also may be “good” at lying because they generally love the partner they are cheating on or may think that in order not to lose them and or their lifestyle they must lie. Survival liars can also rationalize their lies in a way that reduces and eliminates normal deception cues. The carnival ride that the cheater can create that may allow them to continue their deceit and from which, in some cases, may allow them to continue to feel powerful, and or believe that they had a right to cheat because you are needy or crazy. Fascinating because they are the instigators of that instability, they run the crazy tilt and whirl.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/alpha-male-body-language-cheating-relationships-partner-expert-infidelity-a7892791.html

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Why White Supremacist Men May Believe That They are Attractive to Women.

Today a magazine asked me this question, "Why do white supremacist men believe they are attractive and can sleep with whoever they want?" which was prompted by this bizarre Twitter storm:

https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/896545206245445632

By Patti Wood, Professional Speaker, researcher and author of “SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”

I am feeling disgust and outrage toward the white supremacist Coincidentally, I have been asked by the media to respond to a twitter feed that is going wild right now in which a white supremacists states that women are attracted to them and want to sleep with them. Here are the eight reasons I think they may be saying this.

8 Reasons that white supremacist men (accurately one crazy guy on twitter) may feel that women find them attractive and or that they can have any women they want and or claim that women like dangerous men so they (one crazy guy on twitter) can have any women they like?

1.      They may misinterpret attention as attraction -These white supremacist angry men may experience that they get noticed when they express their anger, and ironically conclude, that the attention means they are attractive, when in fact they are noticed and people continue to pay attention to them because we notice and pay attention to what is dangerous. Here is the research on that. Angry Men Get Noticed. (Do Angry Men Get Noticed? Science Daily (June 7, 2006) — by comparing how quickly human facial expressions of different types are detected in a crowd of neutral faces, researchers have demonstrated that male angry faces are a priority for visual processing.) They may spin that as they did in the twitter feed.

2.      Their groups may encourage and allow them to show power cues that increase their sense of power and entitlement. The four first impression factors according to research are credibility, likeability, attractiveness and power. Power is communicated by several factors most related to alpha characteristics. Two of those are size and bulk. Others are taking over space, large gestures, gesturing with objects, carrying weapons such as marching or attacking and loudness like yelling and shouting.

3.      They may believe all women like dangerous men. Popular culture may foster that “Bad” boys may seem to show characteristics of good mates like high testosterone. For example, nonverbal research indicates that smiling is an indication of low testosterone and lack of smiling is an indication of high testosterone. I talk about anger and power in the points that follow, but there is also popular culture’s take on bad boy attraction. https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/why-women-love-bad-boys-2015-11

4.      They may have seen women have an intense physiological response to their danger signals. But do women really LIKE dangerous men? I believe women are afraid of dangerous men. Some women misidentify their body’s response to danger as attraction. I have coined the term for what happens as danger at first sight.  They see a dangerous man and their limbic responds in a Freeze, Flight, Fight, Fall or Faint response. Women may misread their physiological responses to danger such as increased heart rate, pulse, flushing, panting, increases in adrenaline and cortisol and say, “Oh!, when it may really be the central nervous systems way of saying, “Run, for the hills, (or faint, freeze or fight.)

5.      They may have felt empowered by their anger and see its effects.  Anger can make others perceive you as powerful. Research shows that angry people are more likely to get promoted, perceived as more competent, and showing leadership and capability. (see my article for more details  http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=7831)

People in general are getting angrier (http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a40693/american-rage-nbc-survey/)

 I believe that is because it temporality makes you feel powerful when underneath you feel powerless. For example we know that many domestic violence cases arise when spouses who have lost or do not have a job have a feeling of powerlessness that can create a need to dominate whoever they feel is weaker. So angry men, especially when riled up in a frenzy of a fight/march may feel they can dominate and have what they want. Anger increases the heart rate and blood pressure of the angry person speaking and the listener. That can make those that are feeling anger stronger, Anger is considered the most highly contagious emotion and it spreads. Research also says it is a persuasive emotion.

6.      They may suffer from Insular Group Comparison – By that very notion WS groups are isolated from the larger society and that isolation can make those within it compare themselves only to the small group of men within rather than ALL men. By bases of comparison, they then can find themselves more attractive. See bottom of page for more on group think.

7.      They may suffer from Group think- Irving Janis defined it, “occurs when a group makes faulty decisions, and has illusion of invulnerability and excessive optimism.” The “draw” to white supremacist groups is that you have more to gain (from joining) the possibility of money fame, power. (https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2002/author-kathleen-blee-discusses-role-women-white-supremacist-groups)

So if you are isolated in this group of men who tell you, “Dude, we have got the power,” “We can have any women we want then your group think can make you think it is true and dissenting from that viewpoint may cost you membership in the group and not just execution but dangerous repercussions if you leave.

8.      They may see women in their groups that kowtow and globalize their behavior to all women. There are also women in these groups and from the small amount of research out there, the women in the groups have to kowtow and obey the men in the group. So the men isolated in the group, may come to believe ALL women see them as powerful and that they will bow down.

http://www.psysr.org/about/pubs_resources/groupthink%20overview.htm

Janis Irving has documented eight symptoms of groupthink:

1. Illusion of invulnerability –Creates excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.
2. Collective rationalization – Members discount warnings and do not reconsider their assumptions.
3. Belief in inherent morality – Members believe in the rightness of their cause and therefore ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.
4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Negative views of “enemy” make effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.
5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Members are under pressure not to express arguments against any of the group’s views.
6. Self-censorship – Doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus are not expressed.
7. Illusion of unanimity – The majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.
8. Self-appointed ‘mindguards’ – Members protect the group and the leader from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decision

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Your Life Has an Impact and Listening for the Pain

I love my neighborhood. We have a neighborhood Facebook page and for a long time one of our neighbors, Lisa, was the monitor and really the "mom" of our page. Responding to questions like, “I need an honest plumber.” “Hey, does anybody know who owns the white corvette that is currently speeding down Superior Ave?” She made sure that we didn’t fall into negative political discourse, that humor was encouraged in posts and good deeds acknowledged. In addition, Lisa also helped create our neighborhood’s little “mailbox library” of donated books, getting our neighbors to build and paint them artistically and managing the books availability. She spruced up our main road bridge and helped guide our neighborhood watch and went to all our neighborhood events. I never talked to her on the phone, and I only met her once face to face, we connected on the page a handful of times but I felt she was an incredible neighbor, the one that kept us sane, happy and connected. Every life has an impact. Sadly, a few weeks ago she passed away at 52. The neighborhood poured out its support, setting up a go fund me page so we could dedicate a bench and bridge in our park to her and to have a ceremony in the park to honor her. I was so touched that she was so loved with messages on the Facebook page from by well over a 1,000 people in our hood. Her everyday actions, her constant support affected us all so positively. Thank the people in your life that like Lisa make a difference. Thank them today. This is an incredible positive part of Lisa’s story. She made a significant difference to so many lives.

Days later we got even sadder news, posted by her family who felt Lisa would want others to know. Lisa committed suicide. We were dumbstruck. We learned that she had horrible fatigue and her health plan doctors couldn’t diagnose its source. We had no idea she was sick. So there is a sad health care story, the internet is not enough story to this but, and there is another story that calls out, the unheard pain story. She offered support for all of us. She helped guide us to all the resources for our problems, and I know I feel that I was not there for her. I am ashamed I was not a better neighbor. This has haunted me. I think about her family, her mom and sister and I think about all of us here in the neighborhood that will miss her.

Now on our Facebook page, there are details of counselors and support groups. The book club that had been closed to new members has opened up so all are welcome. There is a meditation group starting, we supported a neighbor who lost her job. But, there are still voices out there. Voices that are calling and need to be heard. It’s something to think about.  I hate feeling powerless. Some of you know I have recently started writing and recording songs. It is a very healing art. It brings me such bliss! So I wrote a song in Lisa’s memory. The lyrics are not about Lisa her family or about her pain. It’s a gentle reminder to listen. I am listening.

Here are the lyrics to the song.

Ache Down the Line

By Patti Wood

Momma calls its three am, she’s fallen out of bed again,

Nothings broken her bones are fine, but I can hear her loneliness ache down the line.

I pack a bag get on the road, driving through the morning cold.

In her chair when I call again, I can hear her need and fear ache down the line.

God it’s hard, to make do, trying our best struggling through, 

We want someone to hear our crying, hear our loneness ache down the line.

Call my sister when it gets light. Fill her in on Mommas fright.

Baby’s cry’s intertwine and I can hear their distress ache down the line. 

Husband’s left for some blonde, Savings lost, to his bail bond. 

Power bill won’t get paid in time, I can hear her pain ache down the line.

Get to Mommas make her tea, wrap some ice round her bruised knee.

Turn on TV to unwind, ease our loneliness that aches down the line.

We look at old photographs, call back sis try to make her laugh.

Momma asleep call that friend of mine, let my loneliness ache down the line.

God it’s hard, to make do, trying our best struggling through, 

We want someone to hear our crying, hear our loneness ache down the line

Driving home to talk radio, people stories ‘bout love that goes.

He up and left, she drank too much wine and I can hear their loneliness ache down the line.

Voices rise throughout the night, hoping to be recognized.

But in the dark we are resigned to let our loneliness ache down the line.

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us Crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

In the dark we are resigned Crying, hear us crying

Hear us crying.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

     

Macron's and Trumps bizarre handshake battle

Here is the body language read I did of Macron's and Trumps bizarre handshake battle for Mic.com

https://mic.com/articles/182205/a-body-language-expert-analyzes-trumps-unbearably-long-handshake-with-emmanuel-macron#.yBtTVLaHn



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Trump Handshake with French Prime Minister Macron's Wife, Body Language Read by expert Patti Wood

Trump Handshake with French Prime Minister Macron's Wife, Body Language Read by expert Patti Wood

http://dreamersintheround.com/workshop-registration/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language read for The Independent of President Donald Trump’s most recent handshake with Brigitte Macron (the French Prime Ministers wife) in this video

President Donald Trump’s most recent handshake with Brigitte Macron (the French Prime Ministers wife) in this video

Here are my rough notes. The link to the story will go up later. You may want to get my book Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma and reference the chapter on handshakes!

If you look at both videos of his handshake with her in the link you see it more clearly. Interesting that at the G20 summit and since then he has often been the initiator of handshake, where before he made others go to him, to maintain his power as in the ritual of leaders that says I powerful ,”You must come to me.” He actually takes a large step with one foot towards her then takes another as he stretches our his arm to her. Again this is different he is initiating and goes to her, releasing some of his power. But, then notice that when she steps forward to give him the traditional french cheek kisses how he grabbed her tightly on the upper arms, so tightly she is freezes for a moment in stress her feet together and her shoulders flex back in a fear response. She recovers and gives tilts her head to talk to him as a way of supplication to his power, but she tries to hold his hands to hold him slightly away from her he not only doesn’t step back so they are at a more comfortable social distance, (outside of 14 inch intimate space) by extending his arms, he keeps his elbows bend holds on to her hands awkwardly gripping them to extend the greeting, which is a bid for power and control over her. He then continues the awkward grip of her handshaking hand and jerks bizarrely upward several times, not letting go as if he is reprimanding a small child to obey him. Its very unusual. See how she steps back quickly to retreat from this control. I have conducted research on handshakes, both survey and observational research for many years and have not seen this rough grab and tug upward in an adult to adult greeting. As she tries to turn away and get away he continues holding on with his controlling grab and jerk up still holding her right hand and takes his other hands with a pat on her back that pulls her back and controls her from both sides to control her further and bring her close again and extend the greeting. By noting the timing of this pat, its placement and his facial expression and her response of her tensing and pulling away that it is intended and received as control movement. You might say, “Oh he was just giving her a friendly pat, that is an endearing warm or comforting pat, but clearly that was not the intent or the interpretation.

http://www.marieclaire.com/politics/news/a28212/president-trump-brigitte-macron-handshake/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.