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Patti Wood's Analysis of Jon Jones' Fox Sports Interview


Patti's read is below in yellow:

Here's what body language experts thought of Jon Jones' Fox Sports interview
By Mike RussellJanuary 23, 2015 4:33 PMCagewriter
Done
In the wake of Jon Jones’ Fox Sports interview Monday, in which he denied having a cocaine problem, many questioned the UFC light heavyweight champion's sincerity.
During the 13-minute one-on-one with Fox Sports Live host Charissa Thompson, Jones admitted to using cocaine at a party prior to the Dec. 4 drug test he failed. He also admitted to using cocaine and other recreational drugs in college, but unequivocally denied having a cocaine problem.
"I know I don't [have a problem]," Jones said. "There's no room in my life to be a cocaine addict."
It seems as though every fighter, blogger, pundit, and social media soapboxer who has seen the interview, whether they believe or doubt the honesty of Jones, is a self-proclaimed expert on behavior, body language, and deception.
Rather than pile on with our own hypothesis of what we feel Jones’ demeanor indicated, we instead brought in two actual leading experts in the field to watch and analyze the 13-minute interview below and share their unbiased expert opinion of how genuine Jones really was.
(Disclaimer: Both experts were also provided with the “off air” argument between Jones and Daniel Cormier, as well as other less crisis-fuelled interviews with Jones for comparison as neither was familiar with him prior to our consultation. They were consulted independently and did not discuss their findings with one another.)

Janine Driver is a former ATF agent and deception and body language training officer, and is the New York Times and international best selling author of "You Can’t Lie to Me". She is the current president of the Body Language Institute, which offers civilian training courses and consults for various law enforcement agencies, legal teams, and news agencies.
The following is Driver’s analysis of the video:
Red flag 1
“When [Jones] answers that, no, he did not use cocaine from the time he took the [positive] test to the fight, he responds with a strong denial. He says, ‘No. No, I did not.’ This is the best denial and is often heard from honest people,” Driver explains.” “However, we then see a smile. This is called ‘duping delight’ and this is indicative of someone who is being deceptive. This indicates to me there's something he's not saying here.”
Red flag 2
“When asked how often he's done cocaine, he responds that he experimented in college, "but that's really it, you know?" This is what we call ‘squishy language,’ and it's indicative that there's again something he's not saying,” Driver points out. “Instead [if he were being absolutely forthright] he should've simply said, ‘I experimented with cocaine in college,’ then stopped talking.”
Red flags 3 and 4
“When he said that the cocaine he has done was done, ‘Mainly just in college...’ Another deceptive red flag popped up. Both the words ‘mainly’ and ‘just’ indicate that there is more than what he's telling us. Plus, then he does a shoulder shrug, which means he’s uncertain. If he's telling us the truth, what's he uncertain about?”
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Red flags 5 and 6
“When again asked by the reporter, other than in college, this one time before the fight is the only time he had used cocaine, [Jones] responded, ‘Yeah, pretty much…’ This is more "squishy language" and it indicates he's not giving us the whole truth,” Driver says. “He also does an eyebrow flash here, which indicates surprise. What is he surprised about?”
Red flag 7
“When the fighter says he is not a cocaine addict or frequent user, his eyes go to his bottom right, which is indicative of processing information with emotions,” explains Driver. “This is a change from his baseline throughout the interview, where he looked to his bottom left, which is internal dialogue or self talk. Why the change in behavior here?”
Red flag 8
“When talking further about not having a drug addiction or problem, we see the fighter smile here and do another eyebrow flash, indicating surprise. Although the smile and surprise could be because he thinks it's absolutely ridiculous because he has no room to have a drug problem or there could be more to the story here,” Driver says. “If I were interviewing him I would ask a question about why the smile and what's so surprising. The reporter then shares information that people who know him are shocked that he had used cocaine and the fighter shows no change in behavior like a smile or a contempt smirk, I'm inclined to believe that he is telling the truth here. However, I would need the follow-up question to make certain.”
– – – – – – – – –
Our second expert, Patti Wood, holds a master’s degree in interpersonal communication with an emphasis in non-verbal communication. She has given her expert analysis to countless law enforcement agencies and media outlets, including CNN, Fox News, ABC News, The Washington Post, and National Post.
Here is Wood’s analysis:
On “Bones” vs. Jones
“Jon Jones truly does have an on-air, off-air personality and great media coach,” Woods points out.
On Jones’ demeanor
“Though at first glance he seems amazingly calm, and matter of fact, if you look closely and examine his subtle nonverbal cues, he shows tension. There are indicators he is holding his deep displeasure [with having to do the interview, or the answers he’s giving]; he pulls back on volume of his voice,” Wood points out. “The interviewer is speaking in a clipped, loud, assertive voice; he is not matching her volume or assertiveness, which would be normal if he was totally relaxed, and revealing everything. Instead, oddly we see this big [fighter] whispering back his answers.”
On what his mouth is doing while saying something else
“Watch how he presses his lips together in what I call ‘pouty kiss mouth cue’. Those are cues of the bad taste the question being asked and the answers he is giving feel to him. Also, listen to the little clicks as he moistens his lips. The mouth gets dry under stress. This could be the stress of withholding information, but keep in mind this is also a stressful interview.”
On his choice of words
Jones says, ‘I am not here to make excuses.” This is an interesting statement. People who are demonstrating true integrity and honesty in revealing everything would not even feel the need to say that. He then follows that with, ‘Basically, I was at a party.’ Basically acts as a curtain word that covers up the truth and details of what happened at the party. I typically only hear someone use a curtain word in interviews and interrogations and courtroom testimony when they are hiding the truthful details. You don’t typically use ‘basically’ in everyday conversations. A scientist might use the word when trying to describe a complex process that he doesn’t want to spend the time describing to a novice in his field. Jones is not telling you how wild his behavior really was.”
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On Jones “taking responsibility”
“The ‘I am not going blame…’ speech, gives him a chance to blame. It sounds like it was scripted by a media coach. The phrase really works to make him look to the general public like he is being totally up front,” says Wood. “When he says ‘I don’t know what made me...’ while again making the ‘pouty kiss’ it shows he is displeased [with the answer] and not sharing everything.”
On Jones’ subconscious and conscious use of words
“He says, ’I am not a cocaine addict by any mean.’ He didn’t put an ‘s’ on the end of ‘means.’ He didn’t finish the sentence. That shows his lack of certainty in that answer. He follows that with, ‘I am not even a frequent user.’ That is an odd statement. This allows him to define what a ‘frequent user’ is. Practiced liars use that kind of wording. In this case he can make that statement and appear honest, but ‘frequent user’ could mean so many things. This is comparative to the words ‘sexual relations’ in the, ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman,’ admission by Clinton.”
On the most honest thing Jones said during the interview
“The one statement that he believes and feels the most strongly about is, ‘It was really dumb.’”
On his honesty when talking about his brothers
“Watch the bit of the tape as he talks about [discussing the situation with] his brothers and the one brother said [it is a really big topic of conversation] in his [NFL] locker room, he does a tongue cleanse. Very normal cue that shows he would like to get the whole conversations about his brothers out of his mouth.”
On his demeanor as the interview goes on
“He actually gets more relaxed as he talks about not having to check into rehab. I like him more and more, which is highly unusual for a confession/apology statement interview,” explains Wood. “That is so interesting.”
On his word he gives his fans and stakeholders
“He says, ‘…try to do things better.’ His delivery was honest and his pacing was on the mark,” Wood says. “I believe he wants to try to do things better. But do notice the limiter word, TRY. He honestly does feel bad about having let [his] fans down.”



Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Patti Wood on CNN Reading the Body Language of Tom Brady and Belichick During the DeflateGate Interview


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqlMhNWEfv4

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Read of Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum







Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Top Ten Classic Movies PLUS Some

Top Ten Classic Movies
PLUS Some More That I Couldn't Leave Off the List of Great Black and White Films

I started to list my top ten classic movies but couldn't seem to stop at ten.  

1.      The Apartment
2.      Holiday (Cary Grant Katherine, Hepburn Version)
3.      Now Voyager
4.      All About Eve
5.      The Thin Man (All of the William Powell,  Myrna Loy versions)
6.      My Man Godfrey (William Powell version)
7.      It Happened One Night
8.      REBECCA
9.      Stella Dallas
10.  Notorious
11.  Dinner at Eight
12.  Philadelphia Story
13.  His Girl Friday
14.  Dark Victory
15.  The Heiress
16.  Talk of the Town
17.  Born Yesterday
18.  You Can't Take it With You
19.  The 39 Steps
20.  Sabrina
21.  Dear Heart
22.  Christmas in Connecticut
23.  Random Harvest
24.  The Farmers Daughter
25.  Bachelor Mother
26.  The Women
27.  Waterloo Bridge 
28.  Midnight     


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Tom Brady DeflateGate. Tom Brady’s Body Language in His DEFLATEGATE Interview - Is He Lying?


  Tom Brady’s Body Language in His DeflateGate Interview
 Is He Lying?
By Patti Wood MA, CSP
Body Language Expert

I read Tom Brady’s body language for CNN.  Notice how on the surface he appears fairly cool and smiles a lot. But here is the bottom line, his body language shows anger, nervousness and evasion and a content analysis of what he says shows evasion.  He does not talk about the day of the football game and says he didn’t notice that the balls were deflated and he does not say he didn’t ask for them to be deflated.

CNN Interview with Patti Wood:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqlMhNWEfv4

The Five Most Compelling Clips and The Body Language and Script Analysis of quarterback Tom Brady.

I have the link to Tom Brady’s DeflateGate Interview below and the time codes where each section begins. My read is based on Brady having a baseline in interviews of being cool and collected and having fun, that he was prepared for the interview, and I compared his baseline to what it would be for an individual who has done nothing wrong and is wrongfully accused.



1.      Brady looks away, tongue clicks, and stalls and stutters, when asked, “When and how did you supposedly alter the balls?”
Starting at Time code: 32 When Tom Brady is asked about altering the ball. Brady first gives closed envelop lip cue that shows he is reigning in his true emotion and if you look at his eyes you see that emotion is anger. Also watch how he flips his chin up, in a way that seemly looks like I got this question but if you look at the micro facial cues actually shows he would like to say something more graphic and derogatory like, “Up yours!”


  • Then Brady looks away to escape the question and shakes his head no, but the head shake no comes after he speaks rather than before. That timing is SAY then Show. He says the words then shakes no that is an indication of deceit.
  • Then we hear Brady give a tongue click. He clicks his tongue on the roof of the mouth cleaning out the bad taste of the question, this is also a cue that means “I would like to spit at you.”
  • Then he gives a mistimed shoulder shrug. A mistimed shoulder cue is SAY the words then SHOW the body language rather than Show with your body language and then Say the words would have indicated it was an honest response.   He says, “I didn't...” then shrugs. To be clear, when you’re telling the truth you feel the true emotion in your limbic brain, you show it nonverbally also from your limbic brain then you say the words. So Brady should have shrugged then spoken.
  •  Let’s now look at the words he used in his answer so we can do a content statement analysis.  
  •  It is interesting that many news stories misquote, or only quote the last phrase of his answer. If you do that you can be fooled. You need to hear and analyze his full statement.  He should have given a straightforward smoothly stated answer. This was after all not a statement made in the heat of the moment. He was prepared for this interview.
What he said is:

“I didn't UHHHHH you know.” “Have any AHHH you know.” “I didn't try to alter to the ball in any way.” 

Again, people quote the sentence, “I didn't alter the ball.” But his full answer said so much more. The filler sound, “ahhh” is an indication he is going into his limbic brain to answer the question and he is under stress.  But, he is not sure what he SHOULD say so he says, “uhhh.” He then goes to the filler phrase, “You Know.” He says it twice. Then here is what is most revealing, he starts the sentence three times. That’s three stalled starts. Before he gives the answer, “I didn't alter the ball in any way.” That is beyond mere nervousness. And here is the other kicker, with that wording the response means very little.  We already know he couldn't have physically altered the ball, what we want to know is did he ask for it to be altered and did he know it was altered. I wished he had been asked if he asked for it to be altered or he knew it was altered.

2.      He avoids “Telling the Story of the Event.” He does not say what he did that day.
In analyzing deception it is important to ask for the story of the event. Then listen carefully. Does a suspected person tell the story of the event or do they avoid telling the story? Do they tell another story or do they enter the story before or after the event, but avoid the event.

An interesting way of detecting deception is to notice when the “suspected deceiver” begins to tell the story.  When Brady begins to tell a story he does actually tell the story of the day the footballs were found to be deflated. He instead starts a NEW STORY about his picking the ball process. Telling a different story allows him to sound and look truthful.  That is, “Look over there.” Deception technique. If you are asking someone you suspect of doing something wrong whether they did it, don’t let them distract you with other stories. Brady gave a charming story that had nothing to do with the event.

When he talks about, “I have the process I go through with the ball...” he gets to be very passionate and strong, but again the answer he gives doesn't mean anything.  His process would happen on an imaginary day, not the day the balls were supposedly deflated.  It would be as ridiculous as asking a robber if he robbed the bank, and letting the robber talk in details about his workout at the gym every day.

3.      He gives a cascade of anxiety cues like hidden lips as he gives his mash potato words.
Starting at Time Code 1:50 when Tom Brady is asked, “Is Tom Brady a cheaterTom gives a cascade of body language cues. First Brady gives a cover smile showing his teeth. He then gives a nervous laugh. He then rocks side to side which is a self-comfort cue. Then he pulls in and hides his lips and you may remember lips disappear when we don’t like what we hear so this shows he does not like the question and may hide his true answer. 

All of these movements serve as a way to delay his answer for a usually long time. All of those are cues of someone who is very nervous. They are not a full flag on the play that Brady is lying, but odd when he delays so long in answering that the actual answer is not a definitive statement. Instead he does all this stalling and gathers himself up and gives what appears to be a nice smooth honest answer, but notice the wording. “I don’t believe so. It’s a disclaimer phrase. That sounds like a lawyer prepped him to give that answer to save him legally. As a Media coach I would not recommend that kind of soft answer. I call words like believe and feel Mash Potato words.  They are words that hide the meat of the truth behind the mash potatoes.  He follows that statement with more mash potato words. “I feel like I’ve always played within the rules.”

Then he follows with a story that means nothing. He talks about his morals. He does not talk about that day and say he didn't notice that the balls were deflated and he didn’t ask for them to be deflated. . Brady says. “I would never do anything to break the rules. I believe in fair play, I respect the league and everything they’re doing to try to create a competitive playing field for all the NFL teams. It’s a very competitive league. Every team is doing the best they can to win every week. I believe in fair play and will always do that for as long as I’m playing.”
4.      Brady gives a “Dupers Delight” smile.
At time code 4:30 he gives this smile several times in the interview when he thinks he has gotten away with his answer. Here it is giving an off topic statement that anyone could say, “We are going to do our best… to be prepared for the game.” Then he gives his Dupers Delight smile. I think he is such a cutie pie, charm really works for him, most of the time. It does not here.

5.      Brady stutters and uses tricky phrasing, whispers and a tongue thrust.
At time code 7:08 -7:16 or 17 when talking about how he likes ball… “I would never do anything outside of the, THE rules of play. I would never you know have someone do something that I thought was outside the the the rules. The double “the’s” is a stalling technique. His gestures are in sync and that looks great and he gets very passionate, the gestures and passionate delivery tricks us into thinking he is giving a heartfelt answer, but then he uses the phrase “outside the rules of play.” That is like a criminals saying, “I didn't do anything bad” the word bad  is a matter of interpretation and the phrase, “outside the rules of play.” are a matter of interpretation. So in his mind he can believe he didn’t do anything wrong, because of the way he personally interprets the tricky phrase, “the rules of play.” Even with that cushion he still stumbles over his answer and the second time he says he does something very revealing he sucks in and whispers the rules” and sticks out his tongue in a tongue thrust. The whispered “the rules” indicates he is not certain. By whispering the dangerous word he hopes we can’t hear that he is lying. Truth tellers shout it from the roof tops. Then finally his tongue thrust shows he is angry at being pushed on it.

6.      Throughout the interview Brady gives many tightly closed upside down smiles.
This shows his displeasure and discomfort and hidden anger. 


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel athttp://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Body Language Analysis of Belichick Press Conference Interview on DeflateGate Conflict



1.   Belichick does that smack of distaste 4 times as he starts talking; throughout his statements he looks tired and sad and feels like all that is totally normal.

2.   He used two common deception techniques: 

a.      Shifting focus” with a “Look over here” like a magician that says look over here, “While Belichick convincingly explained the tests but shifted the focus of DeflateGate from human wrongdoing to scientific inquiry."

b.      “Dazzle with Details” in fact he detailed till, we were glazed over, bored and stopped listening.”

3.   Deception cue, “Delaying the Answer.” Time code 16:02 he waits till 16 minutes into the interview to make a statement, but the statement was not about the deflate that day but about the experiments they did.  “We are -As far as I know and everything I could do we did everything as right as we could do it.” but the statement was not about the deflate that day but about the experiments they did it was another “look over here.”
    
4.  "I am not Mona Lisa Vito." an epic My Cousin Vinny reference. If you remember in the movie, she was Vinny's girlfriend.  He says in effect he does not have evidence to prove that he, the team or Brady is innocent.  "This is the end of this subject for me. "


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Faking Family! Body Language Expert Patti Wood sees that Kim Kardashian ‘Doesn’t Want To Show Any Connection’ To Bruce In Awkward Family Photo— Who Else Is All For Show

Here is my body language read of Photo of the Kardashian, Bruce Jenner Family. 


From Left to Right
Kim Kardashian (not Bruce’s biological daughter- Kris and Rob Kardashian Sr.)
Kendall Jenner (Bruce’s biological daughter)
Bruce Jenner
Kylie Jenner (Bruce’s biological daughter)
Kourtney Kardashian ((not Bruce’s biological daughter- Kris and Rob Kardashian Sr.)
Khloe Kardashian (not Bruce’s biological daughter- Kris and Rob Kardashian Sr.)
 From left to right:

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Was he lying? UFC champion Jon Jones tested positive for cocaine. Was Jon Jones Lying in His Media Interview About Cocaine Use. Body Language Expert Patti Wood Reads Jon Jones Body Language During Cocaine Use Interview For Yahoo.com

Recently UFC champion Jon Jones tested positive for cocaine ahead of his latest fight. There are rumors that he has a drug problem. He refuted these rumours in an interview yesterday, Here is my read to answer the question. Is Jon Jones honest in his replies.



I read the interview of Jon Jones cocaine drug test finding apology statement first then the Jon Jones Daniel Cormier Vicarious off Air Exchange. Jon Jones truly does have an on air off air personality and great media coach.
Though at first glance he seems amazingly calm, and matter of fact, if you look closely and examine his subtle nonverbal cues he shows tension. There are indicators he is holding his deep displeasure in; He pulls back on volume of his voice. She is speaking in clipped loud assertive voice; he is not matching her volume or assertiveness which would be normal if he was totally relaxed and revealing everything. Instead oddly we see this big ole guy whispering back his answers. ‘Watch how he presses his lips together in what I call pouty kiss mouth cue. Those are cues of the bad taste the question being asked and the answers he is giving feel to him.
Also listen to the little clicks as he moistens his lips, (The mouth gets dry under stress, could be stress of withholding information, but this is also a stressful interview.) Jones says, “I am not here to make excuses.” This is an interesting statement. People who are totally in integrity and revealing everything would not even feel the need to say that. He then follows that with,”... Basically, I was at a party?” Basically acts as a curtain word that covers up the truth and details of what happened at the party. I typically only hear someone use a curtain word in interviews and interrogations and court room testimony when they are hiding the truthful details. You don’t use “basically” in everyday conversations. Or for example, a scientist might use the word when trying to describe a complex process that he doesn’t want to spend the time describing to a novice to his field. Jones is not telling you how wild his behavior really was.
The “I am not going to blame…” speech, gives him a chance to blame.” It sounds like it was scripted from a Media coach. The phrase really works to make him look to the general public like he is being totally up front. 
“I don’t know what made me... (again the pouty kiss that shows he is displeased and not sharing everything.
“I am not a cocaine addict by any mean.” (He didn’t put an s on means; he didn’t finish the sentence, which shows his lack of certainly in that answer. He follows that with, “I am not even a frequent user.” That is an odd statement. He gets to define what a frequent user is. Practice liars use that kind of wording. In this case he can make that statement and appear honest, but it frequent user could mean so many things. (It is comparative to the words “sexual relations” in the, “I did not have Sexual Relations with that women,” admission of Clinton.) The one statement that he believes and feels the most strongly about it, “It was Really Dumb.”
Body language and Watch the bit of the tape, as he talks about telling his brothers and the one brother saying it is really common in the locker room, he does a tongue cleanse. Very normal cue that shows he would like to get the whole conversations about his brothers out of his mouth. Anyone would.
He actually gets more relaxed as he talks about not having to check into rehab. I like him more and more, which is highly unusual for a Confessions Apology statement Interview. That is so interesting.
He says, “…try to do things better.” His delivery was honest and the feel show say pacing was on the mark. I believe he wants to try to do things better. But do notice the limiter word TRY.
He honestly does feel bad about having let fans down.
Body Language Analysis of Jon Jones, Daniel Cormier vicious off air exchange.


Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.

Recommendations for Eating Etiquette in Other Countries

I am working with this journalist on a news story and was impressed with the detailed recommendations for eating etiquette in other countries.

Here is the link to the article and the actual article is below: 

http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20150112-before-you-lift-your-chopsticks

The first time I sat down for a real Chinese banquet, on assignment to frigid Manchuria back in 1988, I found myself confronted first with a heaped serving dish of deep-fried, whole baby sparrows.
How did I grab one of these with a chopstick or dissect bone from flesh without making a fool of myself? Next came one large boiled tortoise, the first and last I would ever attempt to devour. Still hungry, I was relieved when the main course turned out to be a recognisably delectable, if massive, whole fish.
Always familiarise yourself with the local specialties. — Paul Harrison
Having lived in Asia for 16 years, I know that relocating to the Orient from Europe, the US or Australia can often leave one thoroughly disoriented — especially when it comes to navigating the dining experience. Each country’s offerings and etiquette are challenging and varied. Even before the meal starts, the distant bow expected by Japanese hosts may cause offense to Chinese seeking the modern-day respect of a brisk, if not too firm, handshake.
Consuming dishes with confidence in Asia begins not just with peanuts or jellyfish appetizers, but also with the realisation that no two cuisines on the continent — or means to devour them— are quite alike. Here, getting one’s fill is not as important as getting a feel for varying culinary customs.
In part, that’s due to the traditional significance food plays in these societies, where certain edibles have long connoted family, pride of place and especially status. “For starters, always familiarise yourself with the local specialities,” said Paul Harrison, a longtime sales executive for General Electric medical equipment. “In Wuxi, China, I knew the local peaches were renowned, so I requested to try them or know when they were in season. That impressed everyone.”
Dining at a restaurant
Getting that prized first invitation to share a meal with a local boss is just the first hurdle. The real challenges are yet to come, and it helps to understand the implication of particular locations. If your host has any significance within a company, he may invite you to dine in a private room. The guest of honor will be placed at the seat farthest from the door, always considered the most prestigious location. This is especially true in China and Japan. Also, be prepared to sing in a bit of after-dinner karaoke, especially in China and South Korea.
When it comes to the basic eating implements, much leeway is given to Western ways, with knives and forks provided except in the most remote spots. Still, locals will be delighted and impressed if you have mastered chopsticks or are even willing to dive in with your hands (in India, and rural parts of the Philippines), so long as they’re washed.
By whatever means, take small portions and don’t try to shove any helpings onto your dining neighbour’s plate, especially if using chopsticks. Don’t be put off if everyone pokes their germ-laden sticks into a common soup pot. The Chinese and Japanese are especially adept at touching only the parts they are aiming to place in their mouths. Slurping and smacking noises are considered appreciative. “Just don’t finish every morsel down to the last dumpling,” warns Mark Michelson, chairman of the Asia CEO Forum. “Leave some over so your hosts won’t feel compelled to order more.”
In China, it’s also prudent to leave room for the sweet soups or starchy staples such as rice or noodles, that, to most foreigners’ surprise, are only served as the finishing touches at traditional banquets.
Avoid demanding special dishes or accompaniments. When in doubt, defer to a local. “While Chinese want to pick fish fresh from the tank,” cautioned Mike Chinoy, a senior fellow at the USC US-China Institute at the University of Southern California. “Thais, being serious Buddhists, would never want to suffer the bad karma of singling out any living being for death.” If hosts in Indonesia or Malaysia are Muslim, don’t go demanding side dishes of barbecued pork.
Of course, stories are legion about Westerners being presented with all sorts of unfamiliar items, from dog to monkey brains. Have no fear. Most Asians are well aware of Western food phobias and don’t go out of their way to make you uncomfortable. However, fish will have the head and meat will usually be attached to chewy bones and tendons that can be spit out. You will win points by enthusiastically sampling anything on offer. When served up crispy ants with pine nuts, “just tell yourself that it’s not going to kill you,” Harrison said.
Bottoms up
Be prepared to bob up and down. The polite expectation is that you rise from your seat with each frequent toast, always clinking the glass lower than that of the boss. If there’s a “Ganbei” or “Kanpai” (“drink all” in Chinese and Japanese) command at the end, then it’s bottoms up. Many foreigners find it difficult to keep in step with spirits offered straight or continually replenished shots. “Rice liquor [poured out] under the table is a China survival skill,” Chinoy said. The taste may be luscious and the quality high, but the alcohol levels are instantly mind-numbing — not exactly the way you want to start a business discussion.
Replenishing glasses of tea can be just as fraught with etiquette risks. Wait for proper steeping and pour into everyone’s cup before your own. And when the favour is returned, the Chinese will be wowed by a thankful tapping of an index finger on the table, a gesture that refers to the legend of an Emperor in disguise.
Invited over for dinner
Outside of particularly hospitable lands such as the Philippines and Malaysia, don’t expect to be invited to local colleagues’ homes.
“If they do open their doors, treat it as the special occasion that it is,” Michelson said. Now is the chance to know the culture more deeply, though this doesn’t mean you’ll get a house tour — living quarters are off-limits.
Upon arrival, never ring the front door bell without a properly wrapped gift —something more formal, if not more costly, than the Western jug of Chianti. Souvenirs brought from back home, a small vase or scarf are appreciated. Flowers are appropriate, but note that white chrysanthemums in Japan are reserved primarily for funerals. Bringing wine, as is done so customarily in the West, may be viewed in Asia as doubting the host’s financial heft. As well, the Western habit of bringing a dish along can be viewed as an insult of the host’s spouse or cooks.
Take your shoes off before you enter and make sure your socks don’t have holes in the toes, a sign of poverty everywhere. Suppress all egalitarian urges to treat house staff with interest equal to their employers. “You don’t flirt with the maids or take a survey on their working conditions,” Harrison admonished. And leave promptly at the end of the meal, unless more liquor is offered. No one likes guests who overstay, so learn how to read indirect Asian hints. If people ask if you are tired, this invariably means that they already are.
Banquet bargaining
Should one get down to business before getting up from the meal, “make sure you’re talking with the right person in the organisation,” Harrison warned. “In Asia, power can highly concentrated and decision making quick, with no executive boards to consult.” It’s wrong to presume full command of English even high up in the chain of command. “Many a deal has been doomed by mistranslation, or presuming too much knowledge of English when it comes to the person on the other side,” Michelson said.
Harrison concurs. “Be concise and don’t suggest too many alternatives,” he said. When it comes to selecting food or negotiating, he offers this rule: “He who blinks first loses.”

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.