Cole Sprouse & Lili Reinhart's Red Carpet Debut Gave These 6 Clues Into Their Bond

For those of you who didn't keep up with the Met Gala, let me give you a little refresher. As usual, it delivered with some amazing outfits and, more importantly, some juicy celebrity gossip. The Met Gala has always been a great place for A-listers to flaunt their relationships, both new and old. Last night, two Riverdale star, Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart, made their red carpet debut. While you may have heard about the possibility of the two being linked together for a while now, last night was a pretty big deal because it was the first time the two decided to step out publicly as a couple.

In fact, in a recent interview with Seventeen, Reinhart made it pretty clear that she didn't necessarily plan on going public with Sprouse any time soon.

Every time someone asks me about it, I make a decision then and there about whether I’m comfortable. It’s not like I’m in some kind of contract, but I’m not in the place where I want to talk about it, and that’s totally fine. It’s called a private life for a reason—it’s mine, and it’s special and sacred. My relationships are between me and whomever I’m with, not between me and the world.

So, now that the couple decided to shock the world by finally coming forward at pretty much the most public event, like, ever, here are all the clues we can gather about what their relationship is really like.

Going public means they're willing to take risks for each other.

"Having worked for my clients in the entertainment industry for over 25 years, I know what a big deal it is for a couple to go public," says Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent relationship therapist in Los Angeles who has been working with his clients in the entertainment industry for over 25 years. "The fact that they will now routinely be in the public eye says that their relationship is important enough to them, that they are willing to give up one of the most cherished commodities for any actor — their privacy. This is particularly true for singles who become couples. In their case, possibly even more so as there will be the inevitable comparisons to their characters on Riverdale to their relationship IRL."

"Going 'public' in a relationship is somewhat unique for celebrities or other public figures," adds Dr. Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Web Radio Show. "Simply because they are seen and known by more people, and the assumptions that are made about the relationship can, in some cases, impact their careers."

Their relationship had to be in a solid place to make this move.

"[Becoming public] also opens a flood gate of judgement," warns Dr. Klapow. "Going public means that your relationship is going to be tested by the outside world. To be ready for this, you need to be very clear on a few things."

Specifically, Dr. Klapow notes there are four things a couple should be clear on before going public. First, it's the nature of the relationship (i.e where this going and what are we). Second, it's how they you're going to handle judgment. Third, it's how much the two of you are willing to share with others about each other and your relationship. Finally, he notes it's important to know when it's time "to pull together, to talk out issues that have come up from others from the outside, being ready to tackle difficult statements that could be made by family, friends, co-workers."

If Reinhart and Sprouse really have all of these things figured out, I'd say they're in a pretty good place.

They're excited about the relationship but may not be ready for the risks.

"Sometimes, going public is overrated," Dr. Klapow warns. "We tend to do it because we are excited and proud of our relationship. However, if we are not prepared for comments, speculations, questions, and a test of who we are as a couple, then the glory of making the announcement is overshadowed by the strain of the public scrutiny. That holds whether you are Lili and Cole or anyone."

They see each other as equals.

"Cole and Lilli’s outfits signify as a whole that they’re a new couple on the market who are ready to take on life together," says Sydney Sadick, on-air fashion and style expert. "Both looks were particularly fresh, from the color and silhouette of Lili’s look to the crop pants in Cole’s tuxedo, but one didn’t out-shine the other. While Lili’s look was certainly romantic and flirty with its gorgeous, soft, blue color palette and off-the-shoulder silhouette, it also had a visible edge, showing that there’s no superiority complex in their relationship. Rather, she and Cole are equals."

As a couple, they know their place on the Hollywood totem poll.

"As their first time walking the carpet, and [first time walking] together, they made a statement while not competing with the big Met Gala red carpet vets like Kim Kardashian and J. Lo," notes Sadick. "They were chic and youthful, sophisticated and playful."

There may be some trouble in the bedroom.

"Her legs are crossed and they're crossed tightly," notes Patti Wood, body language expertand author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. "It may be the dress. But what's interesting is that, in this intimate moment with him, she's still very concerned about the dress and/or she needs to cross her legs which usually indicates a problem with sexuality in the relationship, a lack of fidelity in the relationship, or some kind of concern about sex." Wood highlights the fact that it really "could just be the dress but it's interesting that she's crossing her legs so tightly even when she's so close up to him."

I don't know about you guys but that dress is so short I'm going to go ahead and attribute her crossed legs to that. Or the fact that this is their first time stepping out as a couple publicly and I can't even imagine how nerve wrecking that must be.

Congrats to Reinhart and Sprouse on finally taking the plunge and making it official!

Link to article:  https://www.elitedaily.com/p/cole-sprouse-lili-reinharts-red-carpet-debut-gave-these-6-clues-into-their-bond-9019726

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Cole Sprouse & Lili Reinhart's Body Language At The Met Gala Revealed Something Interesting About Their Sex Life

Of all star-studded events and award shows, no red carpet gives me more joy than that of the Met Gala. I mean, what more could I ask for? Amazing outfits, celebrities from all sorts of industries, and, of course, new celebrity couple debuts. Throughout the years, the event has been a popular place for celebrity couples to make their love public and last night was no exception. In fact, Riverdale stars Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart's body language at the Met Gala as they made their first official debut as ~lovers~ tells us a lot about their relationship.

For those of you who haven't quite been keeping up with the Riverdale stars IRL, they have been tactfully ignoring rumors about being an item for some time now. In fact, in a recent interview with Seventeen, Reinhart said:

Every time someone asks me about it, I make a decision then and there about whether I’m comfortable. It’s not like I’m in some kind of contract, but I’m not in the place where I want to talk about it, and that’s totally fine. It’s called a private life for a reason—it’s mine, and it’s special and sacred. My relationships are between me and whomever I’m with, not between me and the world.

So the fact that they finally took the plunge and made a public appearance together is a pretty huge deal. We spoke to Patti Wood, body language expertand author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, about what she took away from photos of the pair on their first public debut.

They may be having trouble sexually.

"There's some sweetness to this," Wood notes. "She's got this wonderful look and he's a little bit more stoic but he is looking at her and there's a nice overlay of their bodies. But there's a couple of things that are really tiny to me, but they're interesting."

"First, is that her legs are crossed and they're crossed tightly," she continues. "It may be the dress. But what's interesting is that, in this intimate moment with him, she's still very concerned about the dress and/or she needs to cross her legs which usually indicates a problem with sexuality in the relationship, a lack of fidelity in the relationship, or some kind of concern about sex." Wood highlights the fact that it really "could just be the dress but it's interesting that she's crossing her legs so tightly even when she's so close up to him."

The next thing Wood asks us to notice to is Lilli's right hand. "It's very awkward. It's doing a partial reach towards him open as if she wants to touch him but we don't see the touch," she explains. "There may be a photo with a touch in it but we don't see the touch and we don't see him matching with a symbolic touch to her. We see him straight up and down. He's not leaning into her, he's not putting his face towards her and he has a more closed face. It's not totally relaxed." Can you say awkward?

He matches her awkwardness with confidence.

"I love the hand on his chest," Wood notes about this photo. "It typically is endearing, it's a closeness and, to me, when I see this with the rest of her body language, it usually indicates that that's a position she takes when they're in bed together. She's doing this to get closer or more intimate or a feeling that reflects the intimacy." That being said, she notes that Reinhart's legs are still crossed "really, really tightly."

"What I like here is that her smile is off-kilter and a little bit awkward but he's looking really confident," she continues. "I like that his hand is around her, I wish I could see the fingers but he's a little bit happier in this position but, still, it's a little bit straight up and down. I would like some leaning in. But I do like that the face is much more relaxed."

OK, so it's really important to stress the fact that this was their first appearance together in public as a couple. Is it really that hard to believe their body language might not have been on point?

 Link to article:  https://www.elitedaily.com/p/cole-sprouse-lili-reinharts-body-language-at-the-met-gala-revealed-something-interesting-about-their-sex-life-9019481

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Read of Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott at the Met Gala

The Met Gala is known for some groundbreaking pop culture moments and last night's event didn't disappoint. Two of the most noteworthy attendees were new parents Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner, who made their first red carpet appearance. For those of you who haven't been "keeping up" with the youngest Kardashian-Jenner, she recently had a baby named Stormi Webster with Scott. The couple has managed to keep their relationship fairly low-key despite their A-list status, but Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott's body language at the Met Gala last night revealed that, while she's totally cool with packing on the love in front of the cameras, he's not quite as down with the PDA.

We asked Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, to look at pictures of them working it for the paparazzi and let us know what we can learn from their relationship. "I've read them before and she typically demonstrates much more affection, much more attachment," Wood notes. "She touches him more. He typically tries to have a very cool face or no affect every single time. That's part of his persona."

OK, so take that into account and let's get this body language party started, people!

The first thing Wood comments on in this image is Scott's face, which looks either like he's "a little bit out of it" or that he's trying to achieve an "almost mannequin-like effect."

The hope for their love in this photo lies in his feet. "A nice thing is that, if you look at his foot placement, he has his back foot pointed towards her," Wood notes. "He doesn't even always do that. The feet are the most honest portion of the body — I always say that — and I really liked that he at least did that which is actually fairly strong."

"Also, if you look at his upper body, above the waist and up his shoulder, it's into her with his head towards her," she continues. "I would like him to be closer but I'm taking some consideration in these reads in the dress. The dress has some fragility to it so you have to be careful of it."

Another out-of-the-ordinary display of affection for Scott can be seen in his hand placement. "You see the left hand, the fingers are holding her and it's a nice hold," Wood explains. "It's not too tight and it's not relaxed. Sometimes he's very relaxed and open like he doesn't want to really even touch her. So that's really nice."

"What you see here with her is she's doing a little bit of the cutesy with her look down and her shoulder placement, but she also has both her hands and arms around him," Wood says of Jenner. "But she's not doing anything clingy. It's just that she's got her arms and hands around him."

Wood asses that the message Jenner is trying to send here is, "This is my man."

"Then she has her full body and all of her body windows — that starts with her feet, at her knees, at her pelvis, at her stomach, at her heart, at her neck, and her hands — all towards him," she continues. "All of those body windows are open towards him saying he's the most important thing. No matter what's going on with all of the paparazzi and this fabulous dress I'm wearing, he's the most important thing."

Wood also notes that she wishes Scott's facial expression reflected a little more comfort around his BAE in this photo but, unfortunately, she's not getting that from this image.

Scott tries to disguise his feelings towards Jenner.

"She's just really into him," Wood assesses. "Even with the sunglasses on, she has that look and she has her arms towards him. I wish I could see her feet but, if you look at her lower body with the dress, there's some sort of angling towards him for the dress not to be straight up and down so that's how."

Another important thing she asks us to note about this image is that "their upper bodies are merged slightly which is nice."

Scott's body language in this image is also more promising than it was in the past. "Again, you're seeing his foot placement and, at least, this time he's looking down which means he's unable to contain himself fully to do the fake face, so he's looking down which, to me, indicates a little bit more tenderness and being in the moment," Wood says.

"She, again, has her windows all towards him and he's doing a lean that's not relaxed. It's very stiff," Wood explains. "It's almost against his will that he's leaning towards her and doing what he's doing. I think all of this shows his desire to be seen as a man and some conflict about not wanting to look weak or gentle or emotional." Classic dudes not trying to look whipped by their girlfriends. C'mon, Scott, be better!

Jenner, on the other hand, has no trouble showing her affection. "She's just like 'I'm into you,'" says Wood. "He does have the hand, but you can even see he has his hand [on her waist] and she has her hand over it to say, 'Keep it there!' Don't let go.'"

The main takeaway here? While Scott may be totally in love with Jenner behind closed doors, he's not quite as comfortable showing that affection in front of the paparazzi. Maybe that's why they avoid public appearances.

Link to article:  https://www.elitedaily.com/p/kylie-jenner-travis-scotts-body-language-at-the-met-gala-reveals-theyre-in-love-9019420

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Read of Emily Blunt and John Krasinski

Elite Daily - Media Request: “How Emily Blunt & John Krasinski’s Body Language Has Changed Reveals More Than You Think”

See my body language insights at the link below

Emily Blunt & John Krasinski’s Body Language

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Experts Analyze Princess Diana and Kate Middleton as Moms

I love to read loving body language,
Both women bend down to be at the same level as their children. "This is one way that parents show their children that they're equals," Patti Wood, body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, told GoodHousekeeping.com. "We see this with Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, as well as with Prince William."

Here is the link to the full articcle. B


Kate and Diana as Mothers. 


Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.     

Apologies and Redemption, and How Toxic Groups Can Accept Bad Behavior, Group Narcissism

I speak on conflict management, bullying and sexual harassment and part of that work emphasize healing work and proper apologies. One the many steps in a redemptive recovery is the abuser admits they did harm and asks what they can do.

The article below shows the hurt abuse victim feel when the abuser gives a false apology. It is also interesting that is shows how a tribe (the church members) can accept bad behavior in a tribes member/leader (one of their ministers.) The tribal members think they are being good Christians to forgive him, but they overlooked the fact that it was a false apology. Not only was it not a true apology with the potential to help the victim the tribe forgave him when they had no right to as he hadn't given an apology from his victim.

Abusers can continue to abuse they can deny they abused, forget or distort the full truth of their abuses or they can choose to heal learn and grow! It would have to be a very safe healing place.

"To have him listen to me was almost the most important thing for me. And it was part of him being accountable and taking responsibility. It was so satisfying ... to have the person who hurt you sit there and listen to you and not blame you for it and admit to what they did, and to remember some of the abuse. Even though Steve didn't remember a lot of it in our first conversations, he started to remember."

https://www.npr.org/2018/01/09/576798813/for-the-men-metoo-has-toppled-redemption-will-take-more-than-an-apology?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social

Restorative justice!

Update. I find it Interesting that this happened. Then people outside the church, people not in the tribe, reacted that he had not acted properly and he eventually did step down. Tribes that are toxic often can't see their bad behavior. I believe this group felt themselves so holy they were, in fact, experiencing what I call "group narcissism". You can read other posts I have on that phenomenon.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

7 Charming Habits that are Actually Manipulative, Possible Tactics of Malignant Narcissists.

Here is a link to an article I did for Bustle on manipulative behaviors.

I speak on how to deal with difficult people including extreme malignant narcissists.

You've probably heard that when someone mirrors you or matches your behavior, that's a pretty good sign they like you more than you think. As Patti Wood, M.A., body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charismatells Bustle, "Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other."

While it's something that should happen naturally, manipulative people will take it over the top. If you reach for something at the same time, they'll smile, and explicitly comment on how well-matched the two of you are. As Wood says, narcissists in particular do that in order to create a connection. After some time, they'll stop, leaving the other person to feel devalued and wondering what happened. If you notice this happening to you, just take a step back and collect yourself. Ask yourself if this person really is worth you questioning your own self-esteem.

Find More at the link to the full article. 7 Charming Habits that are Actually Manipulative

You've probably heard that when someone mirrors you or matches your behavior, that's a pretty good sign they like you more than you think. As Patti Wood, M.A., body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma tells Bustle, "Matching and mirroring are normal behaviors for people that like and trust each other."

While it's something that should happen naturally, manipulative people will take it over the top. If you reach for something at the same time, they'll smile, and explicitly comment on how well-matched the two of you are. As Wood says, narcissists in particular do that in order to create a connection. After some time, they'll stop, leaving the other person to feel devalued and wondering what happened. If you notice this happening to you, just take a step back and collect yourself. Ask yourself if this person really is worth you questioning your own self-esteem.

Maintaing eye contact is a great way to make people feel like they're truly being noticed. As Wood says, manipulative people will take simple eye contact a step further and set their eyes on you with a focused and intense gaze. "Hypnotic gazing is typically done to test boundaries," she says. "They may do or say something uncomfortable right before or after the hypnotic gaze to test how you respond. Sometimes, it may feel like love or seduction."

If someone's intense gaze makes you feel off in any way, Wood suggests to get up and take a break. Check your feelings and your body if things start to get too intense.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What I Do Before My Speeches to Be Open to the Needs of My Audience and Share What They Need To Hear.

I am very clear as a speaker that when I go to speak that it’s about serving my audience. I am there as a to serve, to aid in their growth, facilitate a connection and unique experience, to be of use. 

Before every meeting you attend and or run, before every speech you give you may want to pause for a moment and think about what your group needs and make sure you are centered and open to the messages that they may give you non verbally to help guide you. Be open. 

When I give a presentation I ask the universe, all that is good to help me be a conduit. I ask well beyond a corporate customization, using the nonverbal cues from the group and more "What does this group need to hear?" and I request that if someone in the audience needs to hear something special that can help them that I say it. I have been doing this my entire career. I know many speakers and musicians do this. It helps us stay open hearted. For me Its led to beautiful experiences. 

For me It’s been pretty much a secret to others that I do this until now. Of course I don't mention God in my speeches, but I haven't really talked about this important blessed ritual that is such an important part of my speaking. But, I think its time to share my pre-speech requests because it may serve you in any work that you do to help you see to the hearts of others and because in the past few months I have had so many many people share their stories with me that they heard exactly what they needed to hear. At times, there is a line of them when I finish speaking, sometimes tearing up as they share their stories. I am just so darn grateful.

I realized a few months ago God was giving me a double make that triple bang for my buck. In answer to my pre program requests and also the prayers the last few months to please get me through the hardest time in my life. I see each week when I speak that my brokenness is here for a reason, my internal strength is there for a reason and that the gift of these people sharing their stories is here as well to tell me all will be well, that I am in the right path, that I have more to do. 

To my speaker and musician friends - I know you have experienced audience members saying you said and/or sang what they need to hear and oh my goodness aren’t we blessed? 

And for all of us, we can start each day with the requests to hear and see into peoples hearts.. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Insights Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook's Testimony Before the Senate. Apology

This is a body language read I did for the Dow Jones news publication Moneyish on Mark Zuckerberg

Mark-zuckerbergs-body-language-during-his-senate-testimony-tells-us/

Here are my rough notes of my read including an analysis of his apology!

Body Language and apology analysis of  Mark Zuckerberg‘s testimony before Congress today for the meeting .
Forgive my voice to text these are my rough notes as I analyze Mark Zuckerberg‘s nonverbal cues during his testimony today.

I went back and watched his very first media interview where actually he seemed incredibly calm and slightly cocky especially as he talked about how users could enter their personal information at that time he thought sharing private information was the best aspect of the Facebook platform. It was quite dramatic how excited he was about that. Remember he thought it would help people find people to engage with socially and intellectually.

Fast forward to an interview several years ago and you start to see mouth window cues that show his anxiety in responding to certain questions about what Facebook does and about its privacy. In this interview he does what I have labelled tongue cleanses after he speaks. He sticks out his tongue and cleanses it with his teeth to show he’s not happy with what he just shared and that sometimes can be an indication that what he just said was not fully truthful. You also see him sweat in these more high stress interviews. And you start seeing him do a masking smile which actually looks like a grimace as he finishes sentences. The masking smile at the end of sentences indicates he’s not sure what he said is going down well. And just like the tongue cleanse it could be an indication that he doesn’t fully believe what he is saying they are scripted responses.

In the actual testimony before congress, I think what’s most interesting is that he’s even doing anxiety cues as he makes positive statements for example when he talks about growth he’s doing a masking smile so he’s not even sure as he says positive statements about his company whether Congress and the viewers are going to think that growth is a positive thing ... that’s interesting to me. The confidence in that first interview that I watched is gone today.

You may think he appears calm, but in his micro facial cues he shows extreme nervousness in the first hour of his testimony before the senate. I see an interesting mixture of anxiety and a little bit of anger. It seems the statements where he is showing anger or about what has happened that’s changed his worldview that others took the data and did bad things with it. It’s clear from his nonverbal cues as he talks about this that it makes him angry.

If you watch his nonverbal cues as he’s been introduced you’ll note that he looks down quite a bit. He actually looking towards his notes. This is a common nervousness cue that I coach my presentation, media and testamoney coachign cleints NOT to do. It happens when someone is nervous as people attach themselves to their notes when they are afraid of saying something wrong and or they are afraid they won't remember the right, prepared talking pointn.
He is also looking down a little bit in embarrassment as well. He is clearly uncomfortable.

You can see that anxiety in the tension around his mouth he gives a thin straight line trying to suppress his anxiety but the fact that his face is not relaxed and the lips aren’t turned up at the end slightly and a normal relaxed resting face indicate is his anxiety and fear.

Let me tell you what was interesting about his actual apology statement. I have a chapter in one of my books on how to give a proper apology and I read the nonverbal cues, and do content analysis of apology statements quite frequently for the media and I have been doing so for years. As you might guess
what I typically see is a "I have been caught, now I have to pretend I'm am sorry fake apology." Here Mark Zukerberg was honest. I see and hear a true apology. He gives an not just a proper apology statement but does so in a sincere painful to watch manner.

I coach my clients in situations that creepy fake apologies are worse than keeping quiet. What are some of the criteria for a true apology. First you need to say that your sorry for having done the deed. (Not the old, "I am sorry that you feel bad about what I did."
Zuckerberg says, "I’m sorry." and then he takes full responsibility even making the statement, "I own the company I am responsible for what happened.." and goes on to give details about what he did wrong. So his verbal communication his words lone are remarkable because they do with most people don’t do when they make apology statements!
Non verbally you can actually hear a break in his voice as he apologizes that para language. That is very difficult to fake. A consummate actor could do that, (he is not a consummate actor.)
You can't coach people to feel real pain. Here is something else that is unusual. He slows down slightly as he gives his apology statement is normal baseline communication is typically to give a very fast delivery inside of a sentence in this case he’s slows down his pace in the sentence. This pacing differance was proably coached. This is something I have actually coached my cleints to do.
But here is what you cant coach. Sincerity. The apology was effective. I think it immediately made people like him more. Again. He really did feel pain at what had happened and pain at his responsibility for it.

He had a lot of trouble making eye contact with his questionnaire in the first hour of his testimony. Something that is critical to making your answers sound real honest and conversational. I spend a lot of time in media and expert witness coaching working with clients on this. He eventually got that important turn taking down. Coaches often coach their clients to sip water or beverage to gain time and think of your answer and to simply calm down. But that can backfire on you as it did for Bill Clinton in the Monica Lewinski questioning. Its just plain akward being the only one drinking and having cameras record it. That has to be practiced over and over if your going to use that technique to gather your thoughts. It backfired on Zukerberg.

Though he has a lack of general affect that makes him look a bit like Data, his answers made him look so much more intelligent than most of the ill prepared senators.  He eventually began to look like the most credible person in the room! Even as he evaded direct questions! So interesting. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     Here's What Mark Zukerberg's Body Language During his Senate Testimony Tell Us.

Anger And Hatred, What Are Powerful Speaking Techniques To Move An Audience?

I speak on nonverbal persuasion theory.  I have studied hundreds of hours on different political figures speaking over the years from Kennedy and Martin Luther Kind to Hitler. I have indeed watched hundreds of hours of video of Hitler's speeches, parades and interactions. I was the nonverbal communication expert on a six-part series on Hitler’s rise and fall. I watched the propaganda. Anger has the strongest pulling effect. 

In Trump's  Pennsylvania rally after the Parkland shooting Trump is seen speaking with not one not two but three blonde teenage girls behind him. In this rally speech trump smears, name calls and denigrates the credibility of the national media and trash mouths specific individuals. The speech tears down. It's not rallying people to a positive cause or a positive change. It's filled with anger and attacks without a focus other than to be angry.

In the background the girls make faces grimacing and smiling. And seemingly cheer him on smiling at the cameras. These are not young people standing up to a cause they believe in. They are cheering an angry guy. When I watched it a chill went up the back of my neck. Because these are young people who are being persuaded by anger. In the video, you can see that the girls don’t even hear the end of his sentences before they cheer or boo.  It doesn’t matter who or what he attacks. They just hear a few hate-filled words and react with their limbic brains to the anger. Anger is the strongest persuasive force. But, there is a cost. 

So what are the positive actions we can take? I plan on talking about this with young people I know and ask them what they feel as Trump speaks, I will work on being someone who will not only point out negative behavior but notice if I model better behavior. I will focus on positive action.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How To Question Someone to Get to the Truth. How to Question and Employee

In my Establishing Credibility and Trust and Detecting Deception Workshops, I teach questioning techniques similar to the ones described in the article at the bottom of this post.  

When I first taught interviews and interrogation techniques for a law-enforcement training center, the few books on the topic suggested the kind of forceful bullying interrogations you see on detective shows. But, I believed that the best technique to get to the truth was to establish rapport and trust and to listen carefully and observe body language. And I believed and taught then and continue to teach that interviews with victims and witnesses especially those who experienced fear or discomfort of any kind require great patience and empathy.

I teach programs for HR professionals, managers, C-Suite executives and business owners to interview all the parties in a Human Resource issue.  Here are two kinds of questions you that may surprise you with their effectiveness at getting to the truth.

1) Non-Judgmental Open-ended questions are essential.  Instead of creating stress by saying, "Tell me every detail you can remember..." "Or tell me all the details..." 

What are you able to tell me about your experience?

What can't you forget?

What stands out about your experience?

2) Sense Memory Questions 

Our sense of memory in a real experience is very strong.  If someone is telling the truth they experienced a real situation or situations with all their senses. They heard, saw, smelled and felt the experience. If,  in your workplace, you have an employee that is sharing a bad experience and asking for help and they are having trouble sharing the experience the questions below can help them recall it. If you doubt the veracity of someone's story you can ask "sense" questions to test their story. Liars tend to create a "word" story in their neocortex. They didn't experience it the true experience.  

Asking "Sense" questions will create a cognitive overload that is likely to create stress so you may see them struggle to answer simple questions and give nonverbal tells of stress.  With a sense memory question, you have the possibility of helping some "Re-fire Up" their memory as memories are recalled when we activate a network of interconnected neurons.  Because information comes to us through our sense of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. When we recall a memory we re-fire the same neural paths that we used to sense the original experience and in a way, we recreate the event.

What are you able to recall about what you saw?

What you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” 

How were you sitting standing or moving?
Describe the temperature, the sounds and the other feelings of the experience

(The five basic senses are sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. There are other senses such as the vestibular sense, thermoception, nociception, and proprioception)

I love that the team below where trained in interview techniques to help victims tell their truth 

Here is an excerpt from the articles. 

“.,.,,questions are open-ended and empathetic — more an invitation to share than a relentless hammer to provide a precise chronological account. “What are you able to tell me about your experience?” takes the pressure off the victim to figure out what the investigator wants and allows for actual recollection. “What are you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” taps into the victim’s deeper sensory experience. “What can’t you forget about your experience?” bypasses what the victim has forgotten and offers an entryway into other memories.

This article also shows the power and bullying behind the mask of a psychopath and malignant narcissist. This is a man who fooled the pubic posing as a great guy while behind the scenes he abused, bullied and smeared the credibility of his victims.

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.htmlhttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.html

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.