Search This Blog

Body Language in the Virtual World, Training Program to Improve Your Zoom Body Language, By Body Language Expert Patti Wood


Body Language

Create Real Connections in a Virtual World

By:  Patti Wood MA


About Patti Called the "Gold Standard" of Body Language by the Washington Post and credited in the New York Times for bringing the topic to national attention Patti Wood, is a true expert. She creates high energy interactive programs, filled with humor, cutting edge information, and valuable "Take-Aways." She is the author of nine books, and she speaks and consults with Fortune 500 companies and associations. You see her on National TV shows like Good Morning America, The Today Show, CNN, The Talk, CBN, FOX News, The Discovery Channel, The History Channel, The Today Show, and Entertainment Tonight. She is quoted every week in publications such as;  The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Refinery 29, Readers Digest, The Hill, Politico, Bustle, Elite Daily, Bloomberg Business Week, Fortune, The Independent, Good Housekeeping, Oprah, and USA Today

 

What You Will Get

 

In every minute of interaction with another person, you exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues that determine what they think of you and how you will connect. If you have an essential idea to communicate, you need to buy in and ache for a true connection you need more than hacks. This high energy, interactive, humor-filled program will teach you the secrets of reading body language and how to use them to create and deepen your relationships in the virtual world.

 

Learning Objectives

These will be customized to the group.

·        Making the other person feel safe and open in a fraction of a second.

·        Using three tools to keep you from being exhausted on a virtual call.

·        Gaining and maintaining connection.

·        Reading people accuracy using the four first impression factors.

·        Understanding how the Freeze Flight Fall or Faint response is triggered in our face to face, and virtual interactions.

·        Improving your first impression and how others think about you.

·        Recognizing when you are with a credible, honest, authentic person and when your NOT!

·        Understanding the difference between danger signals and a

attraction signals

·        Using the Primacy and Recency effect in a virtual meeting

·        Encouraging acceptance and agreement of your ideas nonverbally.

·        What's the First Impression of your "BOX" in the Zoom Facetime world.

·        Body Language cues to note when someone's wearing a mask.

·        Learning the one mistake that people typically make when trying to read body language – and how it can sabotage your business and personal relationships

·        Recognizing "comfort cues" that can show you are stressed could make people think you lack confidence or think you are deceptive.

·        Creating rapport with your voice.

·        Understanding the power and danger of Charisma

·        Using insights into body windows to hide or reveal emotions.

·        Getting to the truth and revealing answers from even reluctant speakers.

·        Recognizing what part of the body is the most "honest."

 

 

 














Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

I Search For Hope - Song by Patti Wood


I looked for her in the woods today,

took off my shoes to see her.

Put feathers in my hair to hear blue jays.

Twirled in my robe of Douglas fir.

 

Chorus

I stretched out my arms pushed shadows away.

Skimmed stones ‘cross my worries to keep them at bay.

I search for hope every day.

I search for hope every day.

 

I hung fairy lights on the trees

hoping to get their company.

Danced in a parade of buzzing bees.

Got the stings, hoping for honey.

 

Chorus

I stretched out my arms pushed shadows away

Skimmed stones 'cross my worries to keep them at bay

I search for hope every day

I search for hope every day

 

Bridge

Lay down in dry riverbed to ease my thirst.

Feel the concert in the ground, solace in the dirt.

Waiting for the breeze to soothe my hurt

I search I search I search 

 

Chorus

I stretched out my arms push shadows away

Skimmed stones 'cross my worries to keep them at bay

I search for hope every day

I search for hope every day

 

Wrap my loneliness in yellow vines

Lay my palm on rough bark

to hear her heart, is she listening to mine?

Will she spark? Will she spark?


Chorus

I stretched out my arms push shadows away

Skim stones across my worries to keep them at bay

I search for hope every day

I search for hope every day



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What Will You Keep And What Will You Change In Your Life Going Into The New Year? An Exercise For You And Your Team

New Year New Behavior Exercise

In a song I wrote called “What Will I Keep?” my character sings in the first verse:

Sitting on the floor, piles of clothes on the bed
Dresses I danced in, glitter and shine from the life that I led.
Wish I could take all the soles of my shoes I’ll never wear again,
walk a grateful life, not the high heeled path I’ve tread … Full lyrics below

The character in the song is evaluating her life and wants to let go of certain parts of herself

As you sort through your life what are parts of your character and ways of communicating and being with people have you recently let go of and or wish to let go of? List at least three here:

1.

2.

3.

Share what you feel comfortable sharing on that list with someone and ask them for their list.

What parts of you will you keep? List and briefly describe three or more parts of your character, and or ways of communicating with others and living your life do you value?

1.

2.

3.

Share what you feel comfortable sharing on that list with someone and ask them for their list.


List three relationships that you value in your personal life and one reason why you value them.

1.

2.

3.

List three people you value in your work life and one reason why you value them.

1.

2.

3.

Now is the perfect time, no matter what you have or haven’t said in the past to take a few minutes this week to reach out to the people you value on each list and either share what you wrote face to face, over the phone, on a zoom call, email, text or short personal letter.

The character in the song isn’t me, but I have taken time this year to evaluate my life and what to let go of and what to keep.

Click the title below to the vocals in SoundCloud:

What Will I Keep? 

by:  Patti Wood


Sitting on the floor, piles of clothes on the bed
Dresses I danced in, glitter and shine from the life that I led.
Wish I could take all the soles of my shoes I’ll never wear again,
walk a grateful life, not the high heeled path I’ve tread.

 

When all of this is over,
I have a night where I don’t lose sleep
When my losses are sorted and counted
What will I keep?

 

Junk drawer is empty, threw out what didn’t match
worn-out keys that didn’t fit my heart tossed in the trash.
My pantry is bare, all my sell-by dates have passed
Filled the trunk of my car, bagged up my past.

 

When all of this is over,
I have a night where I don’t lose sleep
When my losses are sorted and counted
What will I keep?

 

Bridge

I live in this house alone
Plenty of time to find my place
Let go of the shallow, seek my grace/

 

When all of this is over,
I have a night where I don’t lose sleep
When my losses are sorted and counted
What will I keep?
What will I find in myself?
What will I keep?


You can several of my other new songs in their working versions on SoundCloud under my name. That's a free App you can download.  You go into the App type my name in the search bar and this song is down a few songs. SoundCloud is where I keep the rough versions of my songs before I take them to the studio and record them so know this is a rough version and is sung by the wonderful Libby Nation.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

     

Reducing the Stress of Dealing with People While Wearing a Mask by Body Language Expert and Speaker Patti Wood

As I giving consulting advice and offer training programs on customer service and wearing a mask I discuses why its stressful and what you can do. It's stressful dealing with people wearing masks because anything emotions in facial expressions are ways we decide if someone is safe to interact with and how they are feeling and responding to us. Reading those facial expressions is wired into our primal brains. In my book  Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma  I share the importance of establishing rapport and how behaviors like handshakes and smiles help reduce help us and know it's stressful to interact without them. Their are barriers to overcome.
How can you show your sadness, glee, or anger while still protecting ourselves and others from 
COVID-19?

One change you can make if your interacting with a mask on is to say your emotions out loud. For example, instead of just saying, "Good Morning," say, 'I'm smiling. Good morning." Instead of just saying, "Goodbye." Wave, and say, "I enjoyed being with you, Goodbye." Naming your emotions is a great way to improve communication.

Naming your emotion is also a great way to monitor your feelings and reduce stress. When you check in on your emotional state, you create a sense of control of your emotion, you can even choose to feel and go deeper into an emotion that your would like to feel. So say, for example, you are feeling stressed out on a trip to the grocery store during Covid 19. You want to reduce that stress. You can change what you think, feel, say, and do by calling out a good emotion. For example, as you approach the cash register, you can tell yourself that you want to feel happy and grateful for human interaction. You can know it relatively safe because you are both wearing masks and distanced. You can make the decision to reduce the stress for both you and the cashier, smile under your mask, and say, "I am smiling hello under this mask because it's great to see you today."  Grab that confidence and kick away the stress.

You can also change the way you sound if you smile under your mask. When you smile, it changes the shape of your vocal cords, so when you speak while smiling, it sounds different and enjoyable to others

Smile under your mask. People can't see your smile, but they can see the raise of your cheeks and a little lift below your eyes, and the crescent shape your eyes make, as well as the little crinkle folds around the eyes that occur when smiling so a smile CAN be seen when wearing a mask. Plus, smiling sends a message to your brain to release feel-good chemicals, some of the same ones we get from warm touch like hugging! 

For more tips and or coaching or training on Body Language While Wearing a Mask, including training on Customer Service While Wearing a  Mask Contact are office at Patti@Pattiowood.net 


Problems With Racial Profiling in Facial Recognition Software, Body Language Expert Patti Wood

I am an expert in first impressions and body language. I wrote the book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.

There is racial bias in facial recognition software.

1.) How common is this
problem?

1) Are there problems with racial stereotyping in facial recognition software.

Researcher Patrick Grother, said race-based biases were evident in "the majority of the face recognition algorithms we studied." Compared to their performance against whites, some algorithms were up to 100 times more likely to confuse two different non-white people.

”https://edition.cnn.com/2019/12/19/tech/facial-recognition-study-racial-bias/index.html#:~:text=In%20a%20release%2C%20Patrick%20Grother%2C%20one%20of%20the,more%20likely%20to%20confuse%20two%20different%20non-white%20people. 

Accurate first impressions are formed in the limbic system and based on reading up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than one minute. We can form that impression quickly and accurately based on an enormous amount of nonverbal data.

2.) Should facial recognition be used in schools? I don’t think we can stop the use of facial recognition software. We have too many guns and too much violence so people want to protect their children and the companies that make them can get huge government contracts and make millions of dollars putting in and maintaining them so they will lobby for them. It will happen so we need to make it as accurate as possible and take out the racial bias.

Stereotypes that are formed in the neocortex and are based on things like parenting, experiences, social media, film tv and social media and most research shows that impressions based on stereotypes in 30 percent accurate or lower.

What can be done to ensure that facial recognition doesn't show
bias?

Research show we form Stereotypes based on skin tone and even more so for facial structure (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3399873/) Skin and Bones: The Contribution of Skin Tone and Facial Structure to Racial Prototypicality Ratings)

I feel that we need to improve the software to take into considered the implicit bias that skin tone and facial shape make and to increase the accuracy of the software.

 




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Expert Patti Wood Analyzes the Classic Film Dial M For Murder by Alfred Hitchcock


As a body language expert, I notice scenes in movies that really get it right. The blackmail scene, in one of my favorite classic Hitchcock films, Dial M for Murder gets in the right.
 
In this tense 22-minute scene the two characters don't scream or yell, there is no dramatic music, but their interplay grows in suspense. The characters move around the room as they talk, they sit they stand they get close as in the scene pictured, they walk away from each other. The camera angles are so dynamic their views down on them from the ceiling, at ankle level looking up and from behind furniture. It makes the viewer feel like they are in the room hiding and observing what's going on. So the viewer feels like they are in on the secret. They feel the odd tension and glee of the murders, and they are in on the secret. They know he plans on killing his wife. (played by Grace Kelly.)
 
I love how the fact that it was shot in 3D made certain body language and props come into the foreground view. Grace Kelly reaches out towards us to find the scissors, she reaches out to us to save her from her attacker, the drinks seem within our reach, the telltale key seems like it's in our hand and we are looking down at it.
 
This movie was unusual for its time because it not only revealed the murderer you watch him plan, attempt to execute it. There is very little violence, but Ray Millian's portrayal of the husband gives you a creepy feeling. Hitchcock shows you the husband’s thinking, and thus you are inside the Malignant Narcissist mind. You are in on his scheme. of knowing a narcissist and being in on his scheme. This is the perfect time to enjoy classic films. Check out the body language in Dial M For Murder and tell me what you noticed.
I am working on a book on Body Language in Movies/films. What movies do you think I should analyze?

 

 







Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Bachelorette body language - Clare-Crawley and Dale-Moss-bachelorette-interview-body-language


Speaking to Harrison, Clare and Dale denied the allegations wholeheartedly. According to body language expert Patti Wood, MA, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charismathe couple is telling the truth.

Click the link below to find Patti's insights:




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Kamala Harris's Body Language, Smile During the Vice Presidential Debates, Body Language Expert Patti Wood

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/10/10078620/kamala-harris-body-language-facial-expressions-vice-presidential-debatehttps://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/10/10078620/kamala-harris-body-language-facial-expressions-vice-presidential-debate


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Kamala Harris's and Mike Pence's Debate Body Language, Decoded by an Expert

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/kamala-harriss-mike-pences-debate-033108477.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language is the Vice Presidential Debates. Here is Why Kamala Harris is Smiling and Shaking Her Head by Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Here is why Harris's is smiling during in the debates when Pence interrupts, goes over time and makes false statements.

I said in my pre-debate interviews to watch for her smiles. It's fascinating that she is using smiles to respond to Pence when he is giving false information. Smiling and shaking her head and in disbelief are the softest ways for her to respond. For those viewers who were expecting her to look angry, they are seeing her maintain her calm. As the debates have gone
.
Research shows that we love candidates with a broad emotional range. We love someone who laughs and smiles big and warmly. We tend to like to know what someone is really feeling, and 4.3 times the message's impact is sent nonverbally. We remember what people say when they express it with true emotion.

I was asked about what is described by others as Pences "Stoniness." Pence baseline doesn't show a lot of changes based on any particular topic. He simply doesn't have much emotion. He rarely smiles and if he does it is not a full smile that goes up through his face, lifts his cheeks and crinkles around the eyes into a Duchenne smile and never brings his voice above a restrained, bedtime story rough whisper, and his lack of "Affect", (facial expressions) or at most minimalist facial expressions, can make viewers feel uncomfortable or it can make them feel soothed. But in either case, research on persuasion and retention say a lack of emotion also means people will have a hard time remembering what he actually said.

Harris and Pence are both smirking tonight.

Harris is doing a good job of showing vocal and facial variation. She is particularly potent when she tells stories of loss. Her voice became so deeply tender and emotional as she speaks to the mother her lost her son. She doesn't rush through. She shows and sounds the emotion of loss and grief. .

When Pence got to the Braina Taylor story he rushed through the story of loss and actually did bring up his voice as he talked about the rioting and looting. He showed real anger towards the looting and rioting and destruction of property. I believed him in that moment. I keep a chart of nonverbal behaviors as I analyze the debates and this section got a triple check. His voice became louder and stronger and he moved forward. It was the most emotion he showed so far in the debates.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

What do look for in the Harris, Pence Vice Presidential Debates tonight. Body Language In Tonight's Debates, Body Language Expert Patti Wood



Alex,

 

At the top of the debates.

 

The Candidate's energy and dynamism coming out on stage before they take their seats and their animation and energy throughout the debates will be among the most critical factors to determine who we see as "wining" the debates.  

Energy impacted our perceptions of who looked powerful in the Biden Trump presidential debates. We are also looking at Pence's to see if he looks energetic and healthy and Harris to see if she fears getting COVID 19 from Pence. Because some viewed Trump as "out of control" in the presidential debates will be looking for each candidate's self-control as well. 

We also want to see if she can give some of her energy to her ticket in the pairing with Biden's calmer low-key energy on the Democratic ticket.  I will share more later about first impressions later in these notes.

The Safety of the Stage for Covid 19 transmission in the Vice Presidential Debates between Harris and Pence. 

Looking at the photo of the stage for tonight's Vice Presidential Debates, I would say it doesn't seem safe for protection from aerosol transmission based on the research I have read and the aerosol transmission experts I've consulted. I consult with various experts as I advise my clients on safely interacting above the mask and or at a distance.

 If you look at the photo, all the people setting it up are wearing masks. It's stunning to see even those sitting in the chairs briefly pretending to be the candidates are taking more precautions that the real live debaters will be.

 So, I think the audience needs to think of how they would feel to be that close for that long with someone who has had exposure to several people who have tested positive.

So, Harris will have a factor of danger and fear that Pence will not have to deal with in the debates.  That is a great advantage for him. So, will she look scared? Will her body freeze or pull away, especially if Pence makes it a point to lean in and speak loudly and open his mouth wide?

 

Study Pence's expressions. Especially his smile. Will he smile in a friendly, warm manner, or will he show enjoyment at making Harris feel like she is risking her health and Biden's health. He can sometimes offer a smirky smile or pleasure when he feels superior and may not play well, considering the circumstances. 

Kamala also smirks and glares when she feels she has achieved a "gotcha" moment, but if Pence starts the smirk debates, we will know that he thinks he began with the upper hand because she agreed to debate with this potentially risky room set up.

I train and consult on negotiations, and I give them the insight that at times, the location, table, and who sits where and who starts before the talks are gaining competitive advantage before the actual face to face negotiations. As in, She gave on this and this so we know we have an advantage going in"

 

 Some may be old enough to remember the seemly never-ending negotiations about the table shape in the Paris Peace accords as the U.S. left Vietnam. (One of the largest hurdles to effective negotiation was the fact that North Vietnam and the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam (NLF, or Viet Cong) in the South, refused to recognize the government of South Vietnam; with equal persistence, the government in Saigon refused to acknowledge the legitimacy of the NLF. Harriman resolved this dispute by developing a system by which North Vietnam and U.S. would be the named parties; NLF officials could join the North Vietnam team without being recognized by South Vietnam, while Saigon's representatives joined their U.S. allies.

A similar debate concerned the shape of the table to be used at the conference. The North favored a circular table, in which all parties, including NLF representatives, would appear to be "equal"' in importance. The South Vietnamese argued that only a rectangular table was acceptable, for only a rectangle could show two distinct sides to the conflict. Eventually, a compromise was reached, in which representatives of the northern and southern governments would sit at a circular table, with members representing all other parties sitting at individual square tables around them.)

 

 

 

Pence required the desks so both candidates could be seated. It a novel choice for debates this close to the election.  Audiences will be looking at this choice. We are all wondering about that choice as he usually would have a height advantage that would make him look stronger and more alpha.   Is choosing the desks to cancel that noticeable difference, so it allows him to be more aggressive in his delivery without looking like a bully? Gender differences and stereotypes will play a role in these debates.  Pence does not want to come across as mean, but he already does to a degree by forcing an in-person debate when he puts her at risk. Will he push more or less because of that?


Some may conjecture that he insisted on being seated because he does have COVID, and he needs to stay seated because of that illness. But it could also be a way of "softening" his masculine (power height) advantage

 

We are typically attracted to broad emotional range in our candidates, we find a candidate that can laugh and smile and be calm and powerful and angry as more dynamic and energetic and more entertaining to watch.
Energy was a big difference in the Bident Trump debates and difference in  energy and dynamism will be something we are looking for here. Our limbic brain believes that the more energetic alpha candidate makes the best leader, and the alpha candidate is often seen as winning the debates. In fact in debate research audiences often determine who they think is the "winner" in a fraction of second of seeing the candidates on stage together before the debates have started based on the nonverbal charismatic factors of Likeability Attractiveness and Power without noting the forth of those four first impression factors Credibility.

 

Looking at each of the candidates' smiles as smiling can make someone more attractive, appear more approachable and less dominant, and are interpreted differently based on gender. If Harris doesn't smile (a happy, sincere smile), voters may see her as aggressive and less attractive.  (higher intellectual and social abilities were attributed to individuals with esthetic smiles. They were also judged to be more attractive than the same individuals on photographs) (Previous research has found that smiling is associated with attractiveness in women, but dominance in men. These are probably a result of gender stereotypes. One finding in the present study was that women's smiles were judged less authentic than men. Krumhuber et al. (2007) speculate that this is because women tend to smile more than men, so their behavior is seen as more usual and, therefore less informative. The reverse may be true for men.)

Any woman that ever had a man say to her, "Why aren't you smiling" know that men view their lack of smiling negatively. In my gender differences in the workplace and sexual harassment prevention programs, I train women not to smile when they state an essential point or opinion so people will take them seriously. I instruct men not to assume if they tease and joke with a woman, and she smiles that she is pleased she may be upset and angry but may have been raised with the gender-based admonition to cover her displeasure with a smile.

 

Anger shown by the candidates will be an essential emotion for us to monitor tonight.  Anger is shown in nonverbal research and persuasion research as the strongest persuasive emotion. Anger has been used successfully by many leaders throughout history to show a leader's Alpha characteristics and move a crowd.

 

(FYI I am an expert in Hitler's body language, and he is the classic iconic example of an angry speaker, though in reality, he showed a broad emotional range.)

 

Anger is seen differently based on gender stereotypes. Take, for example, how many people have retained a negative impression of Elizabeth Warren. Through a close analysis of her speeches show a broad emotional range, and she is known as being extremely warm in her face to face relationships because she was seen as angry in several congressional hearing for some it overrides the reality of her warmth and many held an unfavorable view t

Take Care,

 

Patti


Patti Wood, MA

The Gold Standard of  Body Language Experts


Website - http://www.PattiWood.net

 


 


 

 




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.