Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

Dating and Relationship Tips From Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Answers to questions from Medium Magazine about Dating.

1. What do you think about dating apps?

They work well if you are levelheaded. Do your research on the person you chose to interact with and head warning signs/red flags that someone is deceitful or dangerous.

2. What tips would you give to someone who has to go on a first date? I am not sure why you say, "..has to go on a first date." You shouldn't feel forced to go on a first date. The essential tips would be to pick a safe place, let friends know where you are and who you are meeting, plan on the way to exit if you need to gracefully. If you don't feel happy and excited about the prospect of dating the person rethink the date. Have topics you like to talk about and that they may enjoy discussing. And number one, be interested and curious about your date. Expect to have a good time! You are discovering a new human being, and that is glorious.

3. Choose one of the following questions:

o What are some great conversation starters for a first date? Why?

What's the best thing that has happened in your life in the last week? In the last year?

What's the most unique positive thing about you? Examples: One set of twins, lived in another country, have skied in the Swiss Alps, you volunteer at Foodbank, you have lobbied with your Representatives for World Peace. You have been in the parade at Comic-Con. You are asking for a positive story. This question leads to great conversations and insights.

Who is a person in your life that is your True North, the most hones credible person you know? What kind of behavior do they demonstrate? What do they say?

4. What are some original date ideas?

Do something fun, playful exciting. For example, Go on the Farris Wheel, Blacklight bowling, Karaoke, an international farmers market, find a fruit or other food you haven't eaten, eat or cook it, go to a bookstore or library, and give each other a quest to find something in a book. You will get your adrenaline up and see how the other person enjoys the excitement and good adventure.

5. How long should someone wait before entering a more serious relationship with someone? That depends so much on you. Do you feel comfortable and safe and your best self in their presence? Do they make you feel the world and other people in it are overall good? Do they like your friends and family. Do they speak well of people with whom they have close relationships? Do you feel good when you have spent 24 hours with them? Is your life even better because they are in it?

6. In your opinion, what are some personality traits men find irresistible in women? Pretty, Laughs at their jokes/humor, Exciting.

7. In your opinion, what are some personality traits men ( do you mean women? find irresistible in men? Funny, Tall, Handsome, good job/income.

8. How can people find you? Patti@Pattiwood.net Bodylanguagelady@blogspot.com

9. Do you have a book/online course/app you would like our readers to know about? Snap Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma

First Impression, Greeting, Handshake, Introduction Etiquette from First Impression Expert Patti Wood

Dominance. GET IT DONE This personality is ambitious, intimidating, strong-minded, and daring. Think CEO. With this type, you want to focus on winning and profits; touch on the high points (think executive summary, not long proposal), and be direct. As we saw it written somewhere, "Be brief, brilliant, and be gone!" The best style is fast and high energy with many bullet points and bold headlines. Emphasize that what you sell is the best, the top the winner.
Influence. GET APRECTIATED These people care about social recognition, new experiences, and appearance. Many people in all different job titles fall into this group. Here, we're visualizing salespeople, advertising and marketing professionals, fashion executives, and so forth. When you write to this group, take a more personal approach. Be animated and enthusiastic. Tell brief stories Name drop, and focus on the big picture. Emphasize that what you sell is the newest, the leading edge, the "coolest."
Steadiness. GET ALONG These are the "good guys" and "steady Eddies." They make wonderful friends, are loyal, and would rather listen and support than be center stage. They're generally family-centered. With this group, write in a relaxing, supportive style and focus on how your solution benefits them and their families, personal or corporate, and will keep things going, steady and sure.
Conscientious. GET IT RIGHT. These are analytical types. They find the mistakes, point them out, and correct them. These professionals need data and facts to make decisions. They want you to stick to business. They are skeptical, value knowledge, and need to know the pros and cons of any situation. If you offer a white paper to download, this group will most likely read it. But it had better be actual research, not a thinly veiled advertorial. Emphasize that what you are selling is the "Right" solution, error-free, and follows the rules.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Nurses in Film, Nurses in Movies, Nurses Portrayed Positively in Movies.

I analyze the body language of characters in film and recommend four films that show the main characters, nurses who show calmness in the face of adversity and danger. The nurses in the first two films move slowly and deliberately, their facial expressions remain subdued and unruffled, and their voices are, for the most part, are spoken at a low volume with slight vocal variation or stress, and their breathing is steady.  They show a soft empathetic shift when dealing with the death of a patient.  

This calmness makes their shift to anger when they feel patients are at risk, more dramatic, and shows that they will fight and show their full power. Interestingly, I have seen that calm to anger shift to show that nurses care in other films. 

The first is a classic film that I first saw as a child that showed me that I, as a female could one day do a great thing,  The Lady with the Lamp. Later came the film, Florence Nightingale. The fourth film Angels in America shows that and a certain sassiness as well as an ability to deal with grief and death in patients they cared for over a long period of time. 

Body Language in LOVE IS BLIND reunion. Body Language of Shayne Jansen

Tuning into the Love Is Blind Season 2 reunion, nobody really knew what to expect. Were Shayne Jansen and Natalie Lee working things out? Had Mallory Zapata and Sal Perez reunited? Was Shake Chatterjee ready to apologize? Spoiler alert: No, no, and no. Although viewers might have been surprised by the way things turned out, the actual cast members seemed to know what was coming when they sat down together to discuss what went down. In particular, Shake seemed to know exactly how the conversation would go, and according to an expert, his body language during the Love Is Blind reunion was even “poised for war.”

Body language expert and author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma Patti Wood explained that Shake appeared to “position himself for battle” during his explosive appearance on the reunion. When hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey questioned why he appeared on the show, Shake seemed to have a defense ready.

Wood notices that Shake sat “out and forward on the couch with his upper leg and knee outward.” Per her, this is a common “alpha male position,” that signifies that he was preparing for a fight. Here’s how she breaks it all down.

ICYMI, a lot of the criticism of Shake has to do with his treatment of Deepti Vempati, his ex-fiancée. During the show, he regularly talked about how he wasn’t sexually attracted to her — though he rarely opened up to her with such candor. During the reunion, he defended himself by saying, “We all have our physical preferences.”

And although that might not sound too controversial, his body language added an extra layer of aggression to the statement. When he said that, he flung his hand out. Per Wood, “That forward hand motion is aggressive. It’s a call. It’s a plea that ‘this is true for everybody.’”

Though Shake may have wanted his castmates to agree with him, their body language made it clear that he was on his own. While he spoke about love being “blurry” instead of blind, Deepti appeared to have a “micro-facial cue of rage,” per Wood. “She leaned back, pushed her head back, and closed her eyes,” Wood explains. “As if to say, this was so exasperating.”

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/shake-chatterjee-body-language-love-is-blind-reunionPatti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What Does The ONE FINGERED SALUTE (One Finger pointed up) Gesture Mean? Body Language Expert Patti Wood

When I was young, I saw news stories on TV of protestors of the Vietnam war giving the peace sign to each other in greeting to show they wanted peace.

People use gestures known as hand signs to show others, especially fellow members, that they are members of the group. Often the meaning of a hand signal is only fully known by fellow members, and the secretiveness of the hand signal gives it a special power.

Membership in a group can be powerful and positive or create cultlike destructive power, and hand signs of membership can communicate a positive and supportive message or hateful and destructive one like these hand signs of white supremacist https://www.adl.org/hate-symbols?cat_id[153]=153

I am known as an expert in Hitler's body language. Yes, I have an interesting career, research in Hitler's body language, and media pundit on Celebrity Couples relationships. One of the topics the documentarians and the media call on me to discuss is the Heil Hitler salute. Now I am being asked about the ONE FINGERED SALUTE (One Finger pointed up) gesture.

Like the Nazi salute (https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/19741562/866231751332370374?hl=en or the raised fist, the One Finger Up sign shows membership in group. This gesture has become an integral part of both the Taliban and IS (Islamic State ISIS) propaganda, particularly among the young.

Videos from IS-held areas frequently show small children saluting with a single finger in unison while shouting IS propaganda. It's an appropriated gesture from the Muslim Faith that used it to show their belief in "the one."

This appropriated gesture has been used by jihadis for years, including high-profile ones like Osama bin Laden. They have appropriated to mean "The oneness of God and alienation of the west." Within the jihadi context, the raised index finger takes on a political meaning, widely rejecting any form of government not under Shariah law," It is used by fighters and supporters of ISIS including disturbing photos of their murdered victims. Jihadists translated their core ideas like the one-finger salute into memes.

Now a subgroup of extreme conservatives in the GOP is using this gesture. In speeches and social media, these extreme conservatives say they use this gesture to show.

· They admire the conservative values of ISIS & Taliban

· They consider the fellow Ultra Conservatives in the GOP should apply those principles with a "Christian" variant

· They agree with them that woman's value is to serve men and have children

· They admire their insurgency fight.

Meaning of Hitler's Sieg Heil Salute and or the Nazi Salute

The Nazi or Hitler salute was appropriated from a German hand signal that meant "Hail Victory." It debuted in Nazi Germany in the 1930s to pay homage to Adolf Hitler. It consists of raising an outstretched right arm with the palm down. In Nazi Germany, it was often accompanied by chanting or shouting "Heil Hitler" or "Sieg Heil." Hitler appropriated the chant of Heil Hitler from American Football fight Songs because he loved the favored energy they created in the crowd.

Since World War II, neo-Nazis and other white supremacists have continued to use the salute, making it the most common white supremacist hand sign in the world. (Other hand signs of white supremacist https://www.adl.org/hate-symbols?cat_id[153]=153

Germans were ordered under penalty to give the Nazi Salute. Under a decree issued by Reich Minister of the Interior Wilhelm Frick on 13 July 1933 (one day before the ban on all non-Nazi parties), all German public employees were required by law to use the salute. The decree also required the salute during the singing of the national anthem and the "Horst-Wessel-Lied."It stipulated that "anyone not wishing to come under suspicion of behaving in a consciously negative fashion will therefore render the Hitler Greeting."

A rider to the decree added two weeks later stipulated that if physical disability prevented raising the right arm, "then it is correct to carry out the Greeting with the left arm. It became a way of showing inclusion and creating patriotic inclusion and a way of excluding others. Eventually, On 27 September, prison inmates were forbidden to use the salute, as were Jews by 1937.

Hitler used the full hand and arm held out and away from the body in his speeches, and the less formal hand and arm held straight up tight to the body in personal Greeting.

How Hitler Used Body Language and other Nonverbal Communication in His Speeches to Persuade His Audiences.

It's important to know that evil people can use nonverbal communication to persuade people to their ways of thinking. Communication of any kind can be used for evil and for good.

I have viewed and analyzed hundreds of hours of Video and hundreds of photographs of Hitler for my research on Hitler. I am interviewed by a documentarian and the media on my expertise in Hitler's body language and another nonverbal communication is quoted by the media. Thankfully I can balance out this research with my work analyzing lighter topics like celebrity couples relationships and body language in classic films.

Hitler’s Use of Nonverbal Communication and Body Langauge in His Speeches.

Pausing (Though not captured in the propaganda film Triumph, Hitler would build anticipation to his speeches by pausing for as long as several minutes before starting to address the crowd.

Grand Arm and Hand Movements –Hitler used his whole body and used sharp weapon-like gestures that swept up and down, and across the audience’s field of vision.

Soldier Uniform - He wore uniforms in his speeches. He wore army uniforms throughout the war rather than Nazi uniforms or civilian clothes. H had made a promise to the people when he invaded Poland that he would put on the soldier’s coat, the most sacred and dear to me, and not take it off victory was secured, or he did not survive the outcome.

Voice- Hitler would typically start a speech with a long silent pause, then he would speak softly almost in a whisper, then build to a louder with a shouted forceful cannon fire crescendo

Tempo - Hitler would start with silence and a long pause then slowly build and increase his speed to a faster tempo, then end so that he was racing almost out of control like a madman in a frenzy.

Content - Visual and Concrete Simple, He spoke of things his audience could see and touch and smell the land the country the people, rather than ideas and abstractions.

No podium- Hitler rarely, at least in the footage we see and identify with, used a lectern. He wanted his audience to have an unobstructed view of him, He wanted to seem courageous and as one who didn’t need to hide behind a podium or use notes.

Repetition - Hitler was highly repetitive, he fleshed out his concepts over and over again, never afraid of repeating himself. His audience had a firm understanding of his message when he was through.

Narrow Focus- Hitler always focused on a handful of themes in any speech: he didn’t do long laundry lists.

Eye Contact- In most of his speeches, Hitler looked up to the stars or out at his audience, he did not look down at his notes and often did not use notes.

Emotional level – he appealed to the emotions of his audience to rose hate, and feverish patriotism not intellect

He is a hypnotic speech pattern and repetition to hypnotize his audience. Hypnotism is the willingness of an audience to follow your direction ‘Imagine this, look at this, consider this.” As a speaker, he directed the audience’s attention to where he wanted it.

Audience Priming/ Crowd Theory – often before he spoke, he would have soldiers crowd the audience into tight spaces, for example, have the speech in a town square and then have the soldiers press the crowds in on all four sides. He would have bands playing loud rousing music for hours and in fact, he would delay speaking, starting sometimes as much as three hours till the audience was whipped up into a frenzy before he

Recommended Book by Patti Wood Body Language Expert

Patti's Book Reviews - June 2001

Selling the Lite of Heaven, by Suzanne Strempek Shea. ISBN 0-671-79865-0. "Even though when he told me I was wrenched it off my finger and pitched it at him so hard it stuck with a thock right into the cloth of his green down vest, he still said I should keep the ring." One of my favorite funny books. Very light and wonderful. Warning her other books are not good.

The Amber Spyglass, by Phillip Pullman. ISBN 0-679-87926-9. "In a valley shaded with rhododendrons, close to the snow line, where a stream milky with meltwater splashed and where doves and linnets flew among the immense pines, lay a cave, half-hidden by the crag above and the stiff heavy leaves clustered below." One of the best science fantasy books I have read. Based on Milton's Paradise Lost. This is the first book

Of a juvenile fiction trilogy.

Movie Home Companion, by Roger Ebert. ISBN 0-8362-6212-3. (Descriptions of Movies) "If one of the pleasures of movie-going is seeing strange new things on the screen, another pleasure, and probably a deeper one, is experiencing moments of recognition-times when we can say, yes, that's exactly right, that's exactly the way it would have happened." OK, I am a movie nut so I love reading the little summaries of movies in the back of the newspaper TV guide. Here it is in a book

Part of the Furniture, by Mary Wesley. ISBN 0-14-02-6628-3. "A full moon lit the street stretching ahead; it was a long street and empty. The houses have blinded windows and secret shadowed doorways; only an occasional polished door-knocker or the radiator of a car parked by the pavement reflected the moon." Strange but good.

Bridget Jones…the Edge of Reason, by Helen Fielding. ISBN 0-4-029847-9.

"Monday 27 January: 129 lbs. (total fat groove), boyfriends 1 (hurrah!), shags 3 (hurrah!), calories 2100, calories used up by shags 600, so total calories, 1500 (exemplary)." The second book and actually better.

Strange Fits of Passion by Anita Shreve. ISBN 0-15-600710-X. "On my book tours, I am often asked a number of questions: Did he really do it? Do I think that she was justified? Did they do it for the money or for love?" This book still haunts me. But all her books are like that.

Mama Makes Up Her Mind…and Other Dangers of Southern Living, by Bailey White. ISBN 0-679-75160-2. "The other day Mama made up her mind she wanted some smoked mullet. "Does this mean we have to go down to Rosey's?" I asked. "Yep," she said." I laughed out loud so much reading this at the airport two people came over and asked me what I was reading. Her other books are not good.

The Object of My Affection, by Stephen McCauley. ISBN 0-671-64994-9. "Nina and I had been living together in Brooklyn for over a year when she came home one afternoon, announced she was pregnant, tossed her briefcase to the floor and flopped down on the green vinyl sofa." I read this years ago, before the mediocre movie. I really

Liked this book still think of one scene of the Ferris wheel when I think of love and friendship.

A Face at the Window, by Dennis McFarland. ISBN 0-553-06694-3. "One Monday morning about a year and a half ago, in late autumn, I woke with a vague awareness of a long dullish instrument of some kind, maybe the butt-end of a medieval halberd, being alternately inserted and withdrawn at the small of my back." The best modern ghost story I have ever read. Read this and then read Frankenstein, which is the best horror book of all time, written by a 17-year-old girl.

The Cater Street Hangman, by Anne Perry. ISBN 0-449-20867-2. "Charlotte Ellison stood in the center of the withdrawing room, the newspaper in her hand. Her father had been very lax in leaving it on the side table. He disapproved of her reading such things, preferring to tell her such matters of interest as he felt suitable for young ladies to know."

The Run, by Stuart Woods. ISBN 0-06-101343-9. (Not the best book unless you are interested in Politics) "United States Senator William Henry Lee IV and his wife, Katherine Rule Lee, drove away from their Georgetown house in the Chevrolet Suburban early on a December morning. There was the promise of snow in the air.

Ok, so Stuart Woods objectifies women then kills them in his novels, but they are still

Exciting to read on airplanes.

Paragon Walk, by Anne Perry. ISBN 0-449-21168-1. "Inspector Pitt stared down at the girl's body, and an overwhelming sense of loss soaked through him. He had never known her in life, but he knew and treasured all the things that now she had lost."

The Twisted Root, by Anne Perry. ISBN 0-8041-1936-8. "The young man stood in the doorway, his face pale, his fingers clenched on his hat, twisting it around and around."

Pigs In Heaven, by Barbara Kingsolver. ISBN 0-416-016801-3 (Beautifully written) "Women on their own run-in Alice's family. This draws on her with the unkindness of a heart attack and she sits up in bed to get a closer look at her thoughts, which have collected above her in the dark."

Household Hints and Handy Tips, by Reader's Digest. ISBN 0-89577-683-9

"Take a look at these great ideas for organizing your household, keeping personal records, and managing money. Find out how to get the most out of storage space, and the best ways to install shelves and other storage systems." (Ok I read weird stuff but in this case, would rather read it than do it.)

Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married, by Marian Keyes. ISBN 0-380-97618-8. "When Meredia reminded me that the four of us from the office were due to visit a fortune-teller the following Monday, my stomach lurched." (A Bridget Jones Diary light and silly book)

Knee Deep in Paradise, by Brett Butler. ISBN 0-76-868-6136-3. "I spent the first twenty years of my life waiting for two men I was reasonably certain would never come back -- my daddy and Jesus Christ. I don't wait for them anymore. My dad, anyway. And at least with Jesus, I didn't spend all that time thinking he was gone because of something I did." If you like famous people's biographies this is well written. However,

You see she didn't learn anything on her path to self-destruction- they just said write all

The terrible things you did down.

Saying Grace, by Beth Gutcheon. ISBN 0-06-017678-4. "It was two days before the opening of school when the Spanish teacher dropped dead. Dropped is the right word; she was on her knees in the garden, cleaning out the crocosmia bed, when she felt a sudden light ball of pain in her chest, and then was herself extinguished."

Anything Considered, by Peter Mayle. ISBN 0-679-44123-9. "Something would turn up, Bennett kept telling himself. On the good days, the days when the sun shone and no bills arrived, he found it easy to believe that this sudden poverty was a temporary blot on the landscape of life, a hiccup of fate, no more than a passing inconvenience."

Hoopi Shoopi Donna, by Suzanne Strempek Shea. ISBN 0-671-53545-5. "Winkie Papuga started the whole thing. He just had to go and say it to me one more time, almost like he was underlining, then he let go of my hand, blew his nose, stepped off the porch, got into his car, rattled over the bridge, unlocked his apartment, took out his teeth, settled onto his daybed, clicked to the "wheel of Fortune" and went on, I guess, with the rest of all the little actions that would make up the whole entire remainder of his life, not ever once knowing what he had done to mine."

The Gourmet Detective, by Peter King. ISBN 0-312-14346-X (a really bad book unless you like gourmet food). "He shuffled into my office, his outsize suit hanging loosely on his oversize frame. I recognized the face like a St. Bernard with all the troubles of the world on its back, the lugubrious expression, the large sad eyes and the drooping lips. A strange figure but I see a lot of them in my business." Really bad book

But great descriptions of food and Washington DC

Dealing with People You Can't Stand…How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, by Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner. ISBN 0-07-007838-6. (Actually, This is a book I teach out of and I needed to be reminded to use the concepts) "People you can't stand: They're those difficult people who don't do what you want them to do, or do what you don't want them to do-- and you don't know what to do about them. Well, you don't have to be their victim anymore!"

Scarlet Feather, by Maeve Binchy. ISBN 0-525-94593-8. (I love her books though I prefer her older ones.) New Year's Eve did they really want. It was very predictable. Those who were staying home doing nothing wanted to be out partying, those who were too busy and rushed wanted to go to bed with a cup of tea and be asleep before the festivities began." Not the best of her books but still good

Until The Real Thing Comes Along, by Elizabeth Berg. ISBN 0-345-43739-X. (again I like the other books by this author, but a poor book by a great writer is so much better than a bad book by anyone else.

"I used to think that the best thing to do when you had the blues was to soak in a bathtub full of hot water, submerge yourself so that only the top of your head was in the outer world. You could feel altered and protected. Weightless."

Nonverbal Green Flags Indications of Healthy Relationship with Long Term Happiness

By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Eyebrow Raise We raise our eyebrows to make the eye's aperture bigger. It's often done because we like what we see, and we want more of it. If your partner raises his brows ever so slightly while you're talking, it means he's interested in whatever you're saying.

Eyebrow Flash Notice if he raises his eyebrows in a quick flash the moment he sees you. That is magical. We eyebrow flash when we first see people we love and trust. It signals both I like what I see, and I want more of it, and I am safe for you to approach. (A narrowed eye in greeting is the opposite and means the person may be focusing in for an attack)

Teeth Baring Grin- He shows you his Upper front teeth. In our primitive ancestors showing a full grin upper teeth grin, barring of the teeth can be a sign of aggression or great happiness. Boys typically stop smiling with the full upper teeth and gums showing around the age of 5 because it may be misconstrued as aggression. So they save it and typically only use that full barring teeth smile for when they are really happy," A man who loves you might not show off a toothy grin while casually flirting, but on a really comfortable and happy look to see if he shows a big grin. I tell my audiences to check out their wedding photos. If their groom/new husband is not doing a big upper teeth showing grin in the photos, it's a sign there may be problems in the relationship in the future. You man needs to show that he is safe and comfortable enough to show they grin and that he is often happy and joyful in your presence. ow in a big grin

Up and Back Chin when he laughs. That is a sign of true joy and happiness and typically indicates that he is very comfortable fully expressing joy in your presence. Notice if he does it when it's just the two of you.

He locks eyes with your face — not your eyes. You might think that a man enamored with you will find it hard to peel his eyes away. But now that everyone is used to being glued to their phones, constant eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable. That kind of stare is more indicative of a predator. That kind of gaze may seem hypnotic, but it's not a signal you're his prey. A man who likes you looks at your whole face! So, important rule: If he spends about 80 percent of your interaction looking from your eyes to your nose and lips, he cares for you. His eye contact should make you feel good and very comfortable. That's a signal that your central nervous system is calm and safe in his presence and that he wants to stay connected to you because it makes his central nervous system feel calm.

He takes a deep breath when he sees you and smiles Yes, men do require oxygen, but this is a deep breath the moment you come into his view. Its limbic brain activated, and as he does it, he may pull in his stomach and puff out his chest.

The puffing is a subconscious way to make his upper body look broader and his waist looks smaller, two qualities that make him look more fit and, from an evolutionary perspective, more desirable. It should lift his upper body, and it should be accompanied by a smile and or eye contact with you. He may do this after you kiss, but you made him feel great!

When he holds your hand, he presses his palm against yours. This kind of full-fledged hand-holding signifies a desire to connect. The same goes for interlocking fingers, while an arched palm and less meshing mean he's scared or maybe holding something back (literally). Also, notice when they go to hold and when they drop the handhold. Who does he love and want to see him have hands with you?

He gives you your secret touch. Suppose you develop a secrete touch, perhaps to your side or a particular location on your back or kiss to the center or your forehead or a light touch on the back of your hand in the same spot. The location is typically someplace sweet, and the modality is special, say an extra squeeze in the handhold that is wonderful. That is your lovely, intimate little way of communication without words.

Lasts goodbyes and first greeting are for you. When he leaves the house. (with you in it) you are the last person he touches and or talks to, and when he comes home, his first action is to go to you and talk to you or touch you. So primacy is the first thing you do, and Recency, the last thing you do, indicates how important a person, object, or action is to someone.

How to Answer When Asks, "How Are You Doing?" How to Greet People by Body Language Expert Patti Wood, Small Talk., Greeting Behavior,

How to Answer When Asks, "How Are You Doing?"

(From Patti's books SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma and People Savvy)

The first consideration in responding to someone asking How you are doing is the source of the question. For example, if the person is not someone who will see again and or that you don't want to grow and maintain a professional relationship, then a simple "Fine." is appropriate and significant.

A more personalized, more detailed, and specific response helps build rich long-term relationships.

When I taught Nonverbal Communication at Florida State, I would tell the story of the Warm Fuzzes, the Plastic Fuzzies, and the Cold Prickles. (There was a village where children were given at birth a bag of warm fuzzes (Soft cuddly puffs that when you gave them made people feel warm and fuzzy inside). The village was a warm and loving place. One day a wizard visited and said to all the villagers, "You are going to run out of warm fuzzies!" So he gave the villagers bags, plastic fuzzies, a fake plastic kind of communication that wasn't real and cold pricklies that made people feel all cold and sharp and hard inside. So the villagers hoarded their now seemingly precious warm fuzzies and gave plastic fuzzies and cold pricklies, and in times the village grew tense and unhappy, lonely and mean. Then a good witch entered the village and handed out warm fuzzies to everyone. The villagers felt bad about feeling so good when she gave them warm fuzzies that they went home and got out their bags of warm fuzzies and started giving them again. They realized as they did that their bag of warm fuzzies filled up as they gave them freely, and everyone lived happily ever after.

The moral of the story? When you give a warm, genuine communication, you give something warm and accurate to the other person, and you, in return, have your bag of warmth replenished.

The second consideration in responding is whether you tell them anything bad. If you feel bad and bad things are happening in your life, a sincere response may include that truth. But, if you don't need other people's comfort, you don't have to share that. If you do, you may wish to soften it with a positive truth or hope for the future statement such as, "I have a family member going through a hard time, and that hard, but we have a good strong family, and we are grateful for that." "Business is not at the top of our projections right now, but we are working with a new prospect the next quarter looks much better. "I am having a hard day today, but I have plans for the weekend with my family, and I am grateful."

The third thing to consider is how to respond after you have completed answering their "How are you question."
You can continue the more standard response interaction with, "And How are you?" with the expectation you will get a standard, "Fine." Response or you can create a more authentic deeper interaction by asking a different question such as, "And what is the best thing going on in your life? "or "What are you looking forward to today?" "Tell me something that lifted your spirits today." "What's the best thing that happened to you today?" Some people may respond that nothing good is happening, and if so, that gives you an opportunity to have unique, tangible interaction and comfort them. But many times, you get back an incredible honest positive response that feels terrific for both of you

Does a Narcissist Want You to Chase Them?

They like pursuing and being pursued

They like both pursuing and being pursued; ultimately, they want to control. Narc’s feel good when they control the happiness of others. They get Narcissistic supply from controlling their target’s happiness.

If the victim pursues them, the Narc can control the flow of joy by being out of reach and unattainable, just out of reach, seemingly won, and then out of reach again, in a continuing cycle.

They can get a supply hit from seeing their target’s efforts to pursue. When they appear “gotten,” they can get a hit of supply from knowing that it is all a ruse, a game, and then they can get a bit hit supply from dropping the victim, disconnecting, ghosting, and then another by reappearing.

https://upjourney.com/does-a-narcissist-want-you-to-chase-them

Megan Fox & MGK's Proposal Body Language by Body Language Expert Patti Wood,

Get out your celebratory blood vials, everyone! Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are officially engaged. On Jan. 11, MGK proposed to Megan during a vacation in Puerto Rico. The musician popped the question under a banyan tree that already held significance in their relationship — apparently, back in July 2020, they sat below the same tree and “ask[ed] for magic.” (Would you expect anything less from them?) Their romantic wish came true, and Megan and MGK’s proposal body language is exactly what you’d expect from the couple: dramatic (if curated) and full of excitement.

body language expert and author of SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, Patti Wood explains to Elite Daily that the proposal looks “staged.” Filmed from multiple angles, the engagement video looks like a movie clip of some sort of ritual sacrifice. “They’re at an apex as if it was a sanctuary. Their intention here is to show that it was a holy act,” Wood guesses.

And that intention continues to seep through the rest of the video. “There’s a silence to it,” Wood also notes. Despite the fact that we can clearly see MGK and Megan talking to one another in the clip, all you can hear is the sounds of nature and birds chirping. Wood says, “They want to elevate it and make it more sacred. It’s definitely curated and produced.”

After MGK kneels, Megan immediately covers her mouth with her hands — it’s an obvious sign of surprise, but it looks exaggerated in the moment, per Wood. “It seems a little over-acted,” she says. Within the next few seconds, however, you see a more genuine side of their relationship.

In the video, Megan sways slightly back and forth with looking at her beau. “It’s a spontaneous, sincere, rocking motion. She’s truly nervous and excited,” says Wood. The back-and-forth rocking reminds her of a child seeing a birthday gift, eagerly waiting to get their hands on it.

Megan’s anticipation is clear, but MGK has a much more zen vibe going on. “He seems fairly calm,” Wood adds. To be fair, he had more time to adjust to the idea of engagement — custom engagement rings take some time, after all!

When Megan processes what’s happening, she quickly joins MGK on the ground, kneeling with him. “It’s unusual,” per Wood. Usually, people either stay standing or bend over to reach their partner during the proposal.

They aren’t just literally on the same level, either. Her joining him on the ground hints at a strong connection between the two of them (surprising literally no one). “Coming down to his level shows a desire to be closer to him and equanimity in feelings,” Wood says.

That’s not all. Wood also notices how Megan “presses down on the top of her head” as MGK speaks to her as if she’s trying to physically “keep herself together” — or stop the excitement from literally bursting out. At the same moment, MGK nods at her. “[The nod indicates that] he feels the same about this,” Wood says. AKA, they’re both feeling a little overwhelmed by how excited they are.

t’s what I call a ‘look pretty’ kiss,” Wood says of Megan and MGK’s post-proposal smooch. There isn’t a lot of heat or discernible passion. And although the whole scene has sensual overtones, per Wood, the kiss is slightly lackluster. (Believe me, I’m as shocked as you are.)

“They’re not pressing toward each other,” Wood adds, pointing to the way the couple keeps space between them even when they are kissing. “There’s no energy or pulling each other closer, which usually indicates passion.” (A little refresher: This is the same couple that has “the kind of sex that would make Lucifer clutch his rosary,” according to Megan herself.)

Here’s hoping we get to see the professional photos — or drone footage — from this proposal soon! Three camera angles are just not enough!

They’re Feeling Overwhelmed

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/megan-fox-mgk-machine-gun-kelly-proposal-body-language

Techniques to Deal with a Celebrity Death

I am an expert in body language, and I speak on dealing with grief loss and trauma.

I remember the Day John Denver died I had an overwhelming urge to call my childhood friend Robin Wilkinson and share my grief with her. So I called her and we did, one of the best things you can do to deal with a celebrity death that affects you, we told each other stories about John and his music. We had so many memories! Times we had enjoyed listening to his songs together. Times we sang his songs in the car on the way to football games. Years that our friends at church gathered in a big circle and played Denver's songs on our guitars. I thanked Robin for giving me a John Denver album for a birthday present when I was recovering from getting my tonsils out. And she remembered I had played that album with her and cheered up immediately. It helped.

Here are 7 Techniques to Deal with a Celebrity Death that affects you. By Patti Wood.

Find some of their "artistry" to relive and enjoy the pleasure of what made them special. Play their music, watch videos of their interviews, find their stand-up routines. Watch your favorite movie.
Share Stories about what you loved most about their talent and memories you have of enjoying them. Reach out to people in your life that you share memories attached to the celebrity's artistry. Sharing positive stories about someone softens your grief and honors them.
Write down in your journal or online in social media a positive memory or even more than one positive memory of their artistry. Writing is a great form of healing. It gets thoughts out of your body and releases them to the universe.
Be ok with your grief. It is ok to be sad. And even be sad and you think about different times in your life that have passed.
Reach out to that artist's community to share your condolences and memories.
If you're an artist of any kind, create some form of art to honor them. Paint a picture, write a song, a joke.
If you want to move out of sadness, move your body. Do something to give yourself a physical release. Grief operates in the right hemisphere, the limbic brain so you can shift out of grief by moving. Take a brisk walk, turn on some music and sing or dance. Go hear live music. Get in the car and take a meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. You can breathe in slowly and deeply. Play with your pet. Bounce a ball.