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We touch our dogs more than we touch each other

My friend Beth takes care of my dog Bo when I travel. Today, she sent me results from a recent online survey about dogs. It says that, two-thirds of dog owners said they would put in longer hours if they could bring their dog to work.

The poll, conducted by the online dog forum Dogster and the job search engine Simply Hired, revealed that almost a third of those surveyed said they would go so far as taking a 5 percent pay cut if that meant their dog could accompany them to the office.

About 70 percent of the 150 individuals surveyed also considered a dog-friendly office an important job benefit.

I think that dogs make us feel better on so many different levels. I read in my local paper the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that the Shelters after Hurricane Katrina were much calmer and well kept if the people in them had their pets with them.

As the National Spokesperson in Canada for Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion we surveyed 1500 Canadians on touch. Guess what? The survey found we touch our pets more than we touch each other. So today think about the positive touch you give and are given.



I am lonely today. I got up and got on my computer like so many people hoping to download emails from friends. Sure enough their were emails from friends meeting me tonight for dinner and comedy improv compitition and other friends that want to meet for dinner and movie tomorrow night and one from a girlfriend friend who just was checking in. But I am still lonely. I am sitting at my computer in my big old four bedroom two story house, all by myself, well there is Bo the wonder dog curled up at my feet. Lovign my dog Bo is wonderful but I am so lonely I am resisting the urge to belt out the old 70’s song ALL BY MYSELF. That’s lonely. I don’t think they we were meant to be so lonely and isolated.
We spend so much time working to get the big old car and house and live in suburbs were we can’t hear our neighbors and have to drive to get anywere…we co-exist rather than live in community. Richard Schwartz, a psychiatrist who co-authored the book, "Overcoming Loneliness in Everyday Life," with his wife, Jacqueline Olds, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School says, "Our notion of success is being able to purchase what you need and not be obligated to anyone,'' I Want to be obligated to people. I have that with my wonderful friends. I want someone to expect things of me. I want someone to expect me to be there when they call, to love hearing their voice, to enjoy seeing their smile, to think that their company is a delight. I want someone to miss me when they have not seen me in a while. I want intimacy.

Greeeting handshakes assure guests that all is safe

I often get called at the last minute to do media interviews, but strangely enough, I rarely get nervous. ( I save my throw up the night before nervousness for written from scratch speech performances. )
Typically I will get an urgent call from a media contact and then rush to a TV studio to make comments about a breaking story. When I get to the studio, the producer or journalist I will be working with shakes my hand and ushers me into the studio. I sit calmly as they mike me and we do a sound check.
One day got a call to do a read of President Bush’s body language. I have done that dozen of times, so I thought it would be fun, and no big deal. When I enter the Fox news affiliate studio, I put out my hand, but the producer pulled her hand back said, “I’m sick and don’t want to give you germs.” She then turned and walked ahead of me. As I walked to the studio, my heart began to race and I had to ask for water because my mouth got dry. My hands shook as I sat on the stool in front of the cameras. I started to sweat. What was different this time? The host or “tribal chieftain” didn’t shake my hand to signal she was not going to hurt me and that the station was safe for me to enter. Without that warm greeting I felt danger, my cave woman instincts kicked in and I had a great need for a good antiperspirant.

Do not underestimate the assurance of saftey communicated in a greeting handshake.

Shake Hands and Come Out Fighting

Shake hands and come out fighting.

I speak around the country to court reporters. They are the people, predominately women, who record every word, said in the courtroom or in a deposition. They have a lot of stories about the lawyers they work with. Many of them talk about a particular handshake ritual they see occur at the beginning and end of a trial or deposition.

Lawyers who have known each other for years will come in and shake hands with each other. Then those same lawyers will spend the entire day or trial saying horrible, derogatory things about one another, shake their fists, frown and nod negatively, and roll their eyes, and express other disrespectful gestures and sounds when the other lawyer is talking. They will in effect go to battle with each other, smile and shake hands again and say, "Let's go out for a drink." They are buddies again.

The court reporters were flabbergasted. How can guys do that? How can you shake hands and be friends again with someone who treated you so abominably? This is actually part of Gamesmanship.

The game rules say, "Shake hands with your opponent, and come out fighting." And when the game is over, the game is really over, so leave your bad feelings on the playing field and shake hands again.

This ritual is repeated by men over and over on the sports playing field as they grow up so that in adulthood it is second nature to them to shake hands and come out fighting.

Read some interesting stuff here.

Another Saturday in the office

I am surfing the web today for fun sights and blogs. Any tips?

Some favorite links are: The Writer's Almanac for provoking thought, Clark Howard for money-saving tips, the Internet Movie Database for movie stuff,

A signal its over. Why is he patting me on the back?

I am sometimes quoted in the Dream Girls dating newsletter. This months newsletter says that January is national breakup month. Seems men are likely to wait till after the holidays to breakup. Hummm, years ago my former fiancĂ© broke up with me on New Years Eve, I guess he didn’t get the newsletter. The two major reasons for Jan. breakups. New Year's resolutions and a desire to break up before that commitment causing Valentines day.

I did a peace for Cosmo on the signs it’s over and Dream Girls mentioned a cue that’s a big signal of male displeasure, a little pat on the back. Women tend to give a man a pat on the back, when a man they are not attracted to gives them hug. They pat to say to the man, “I am not accepting this hug as a sexual contact.” Or, it could send a stronger message, “Down boy.” Men as well as women, use the pat as a signal there is a lack of sexual interest signal. That does not mean that every pat says, “Let’s call the whole thing off.” But is does sometimes mean you are being admonished subconsciously or treated as a child. Note that the bigger the pat the less intimacy communicated.