I often have high school, college and grad students send me questions for papers or articles they are writing. I thought I would blog a few of the questions from a high school students recent email and my short answers.
Is body language always a valid form of judgment? Can we really tell what a person is thinking, or feeling just by looking at them?
Judgements and Stereotypes are processed in a different part of the brain than body language. And are much less accurate. For example Stereotype impressions of others are researched at about 30 percent accuracy, while first impressions made from reading someones nonverbal communication and processed in the more primitive part of the brain are found in research to be 80 percent or higher in accuracy.
Body language can give you insights into yours and other peoples thoughts and feeling. I would expand your definition to say nonverbal communication rather than body language so you could include aspects of the voice and dress and more.
2. Is body language mostly subconscious? Can we ever really control what our bodies are giving away?
We can give out up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than a minute..obviously most of our nonverbal cues are not under are conscious control. Our nonverbal cues come from the more primitive part of our brains rather than our rational logical brain. Language comes from the logical brain and can be more easily manipulated.
3. Can our verbal and nonverbal communication ever contradict itself? What kind of problems can this cause?
When the words and nonverbal communication don't match your primitive brain where intuition operates automatically relies on the nonverbal communication for the truth. For example, if someone says, "I love you." then grimaces, we are likely to detect their insincerity.
4. What are some practical everyday uses for body language expertise? For example, can we really tell whether someone is lying by their body expression? You can be trained to read the subtle nuances of deceit, however most people, without training predict that they will be accurate, but in reality are only able to detect deceit about 50 percent of the time. Other every day uses are too numerous to list as you can read yourself to know what you truly feel, to read people that you are working and playing with to know how they are doing.
5. Can better knowing what body language means enhance our relationships/quality of life? What are advantages to understanding body language? Your life can be greatly enhanced by understanding and reading nonverbal communication. You are able to go through the facade and really see to the heart of others and become closer and more empathetic. You know who it's not safe to get close to and you don't just play act in your relationships, but form deep connections.
Is body language always a valid form of judgment? Can we really tell what a person is thinking, or feeling just by looking at them
Judements and Stereotypes are processed in a different part of the brain than body langauge. And are much less accurate. For example Stereotype impressions of others are researched at about 30 percent accuracey, while first impressions made from reading someonees nonverbal communciation and proccessed in the more primative part of the brain are found in research to be 80 percent or higher in accuracey.
Body language can give you insights into yours and other peoples thoughts and feeling. I would expand your definition to say nonverbal communication rather than body langauge so you could include aspects of the voice and dress and more.
2. Is body language mostly subconscious? Can we ever really control what our bodies are giving away?
We can give out up to 10,000 nonverbal cues in less than a minute..obviouly most of our nonverbal cues are not under are concious control. Our nonverbal cues come from the more primative part of our brains rather than our rational logcial brain. Language comes from the logical brain and can be more eaisely manipulated.
3. Can our verbal and nonverbal communication ever contradict itself? What kind of problems can this cause?
When the words and nonverbal communication don't match your primative brain where intuition operates automatically relies on the nonverbal comunication for the truth. For example, if someone says, "I love you." then grimaces, we are likely to detect their insesarity.
4. What are some practical everyday uses for body language expertise? For example, can we really tell whether someone is lying by their body expression? You can be trained to read the sublte nuances of deciept, however most people, without trianing predect that they will be acurate, but in reality are only able to dectect deceipt about 50 percent of the time. Other every day uses are too numerous to list as you can read yourself to know what you truley feel, to read people that you are working and palying with to know how they are doing.
5. Can better knowing what body language means enhance our relationships/quality of life? What are advantages to understanding body language? Your life can be greatlye enhanced by understanding and reading nonverbal communication. You are able to go through the facade and really see to the heart of others and become closer and more empathetic. You know who it's not safe to get close to and you don't just play act in your relationships, but form deep connections.
Body language for power and confidence
Yesterday Men's Health UK asked me to give some body langauge tips to help men appear more confident and gain trust. Here are a few of the tips I shared.
To gain trust and look confindent
Some tips for men
• Walk up to people with confidence. Keep your head level and your hands at your side unless you want to shake hands. Be sure to keep your hands out of your pockets. Showing the palms of the hands shows you or open. Research indicates that we don't trust people with hands in their pockets. Make sure your right hand is free to shake hands. Always shift any briefcases, papers, beverages or cell phones to your left hand before you begin the greeting so you handshaking hand is free.
• In business Smile briefly. Don't overdo it. If you smile too long or too much, you can be perceived negatively. submissive. An over-extended smile can create negative impressions, such as “overeager,” “easily manipulated” or “not intelligent.” Women need to take special care not to over-extend the smile as it can reduce personal power and can even be misinterpreted as a sexual come on. When going to "chat up a girl" smile before you approach to make her feel that you are safe and not about to "attack"
• Make eye contact. There is a substantial amount of research showing that good eye contact increases feelings of trust. Don't stare, but don't look at your shoes. Making eye contact as you approach lets the person know you want to interact. Men need to extend the eye contact with other menfor a least three seconds without blinking or looking away as they shake hands. When first interacting with a women you need to be careful of holding eye contact for more than three to five seconds at a time so you do not look to agressive or predatory. Some of those "win women every time" website will say to stare a women down...but I disagree. If you want to date a women, make her feel safe. If you want to have a sexual conquest you can stare for longer and if she stares back you have a signal that she may want a sexual conquest as well, but for a relationship establish trust first.
• Face the person heart-to-heart. When you stand at an angle and don’t face the person squarely, you are sending the symbolic message that you are not being straight and open. You may look as if you need to protect yourself, you do not like the other person or you feel the need to reduce the intimacy or the duration of the interaction. Body Language is symbolic show your heart.
To gain trust and look confindent
Some tips for men
• Walk up to people with confidence. Keep your head level and your hands at your side unless you want to shake hands. Be sure to keep your hands out of your pockets. Showing the palms of the hands shows you or open. Research indicates that we don't trust people with hands in their pockets. Make sure your right hand is free to shake hands. Always shift any briefcases, papers, beverages or cell phones to your left hand before you begin the greeting so you handshaking hand is free.
• In business Smile briefly. Don't overdo it. If you smile too long or too much, you can be perceived negatively. submissive. An over-extended smile can create negative impressions, such as “overeager,” “easily manipulated” or “not intelligent.” Women need to take special care not to over-extend the smile as it can reduce personal power and can even be misinterpreted as a sexual come on. When going to "chat up a girl" smile before you approach to make her feel that you are safe and not about to "attack"
• Make eye contact. There is a substantial amount of research showing that good eye contact increases feelings of trust. Don't stare, but don't look at your shoes. Making eye contact as you approach lets the person know you want to interact. Men need to extend the eye contact with other menfor a least three seconds without blinking or looking away as they shake hands. When first interacting with a women you need to be careful of holding eye contact for more than three to five seconds at a time so you do not look to agressive or predatory. Some of those "win women every time" website will say to stare a women down...but I disagree. If you want to date a women, make her feel safe. If you want to have a sexual conquest you can stare for longer and if she stares back you have a signal that she may want a sexual conquest as well, but for a relationship establish trust first.
• Face the person heart-to-heart. When you stand at an angle and don’t face the person squarely, you are sending the symbolic message that you are not being straight and open. You may look as if you need to protect yourself, you do not like the other person or you feel the need to reduce the intimacy or the duration of the interaction. Body Language is symbolic show your heart.
Chinese new ideal of beauty and what women do for the sake of beauty.
Years ago I went to see a feminist play in Washington DC. The play involved three women at different points in history that where "bound" by traditional views of women. One character acttually had her feet bound in the ancient chinease custom to assure the then feminine ideal of tiny feet and small stepped hobbling walk.
I had read about this tradition of taking the feet of young girls and curling the toes under and binding them, but in discussing the practicet afterwards with Steve, my fiance at the time, I remarked how horrible it was to cripple an entire gender. How interesting that the wish to be desired by men required such sacrifices. Then I started laughing, because as I was saying this I was hobbling through the snow from the theater, wearing high heeled suede boots!
Yes, we make sacrifices for beauty. And though we might not wear now wear the "..stacked, brass coils used to distend the necks of Karen women.." (Time mag) in Africa or remove a rib to be tiny waisted like 19th century women, modern women do continue to suffer for beauty.
Recently I read an article in Time Magazine that spoke about the amazing increase in plastic surgery in China. With the new ideal no longer being to look Caucasian, but to emphasize Asian Beauty. It makes sense that plasitc surguy would come full circle back to that part of the world.
Some of the earliest records of reconstructive plastic surgery come from sixth century India: the Hindu medical chronicle Susruta Samhita describes how noses were recreated after being chopped off as punishment for adultery. And it makes sense that ideal of beauty would change over time as well. The Havared psychology professor Nancy Etcoff, says that beauty is evolutionary. Etcoffs book, "Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty is currently a best seller in Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and China. So what are Asian women requesting from their plastic surgeion? The top requests are wider eyes, longer noses and fuller breasts—features not typical of the race, but the new Chinise version of Extreme Makeover called. "Lovely Cinderella, shows some of the shift towards the Asian ideal. I will have to do more blogs to cover the concept of evolutionary beauty in the meantime check out the Time Mag article with reporting by Robert Horn/Bangkok, Joyce Huang/Taipei, Zamira Loebis/Jakarta, Michiko Toyama/Tokyo, Bryan Walsh/Shenzhen and Genevieve Wilkinson/Singapore
I had read about this tradition of taking the feet of young girls and curling the toes under and binding them, but in discussing the practicet afterwards with Steve, my fiance at the time, I remarked how horrible it was to cripple an entire gender. How interesting that the wish to be desired by men required such sacrifices. Then I started laughing, because as I was saying this I was hobbling through the snow from the theater, wearing high heeled suede boots!
Yes, we make sacrifices for beauty. And though we might not wear now wear the "..stacked, brass coils used to distend the necks of Karen women.." (Time mag) in Africa or remove a rib to be tiny waisted like 19th century women, modern women do continue to suffer for beauty.
Recently I read an article in Time Magazine that spoke about the amazing increase in plastic surgery in China. With the new ideal no longer being to look Caucasian, but to emphasize Asian Beauty. It makes sense that plasitc surguy would come full circle back to that part of the world.
Some of the earliest records of reconstructive plastic surgery come from sixth century India: the Hindu medical chronicle Susruta Samhita describes how noses were recreated after being chopped off as punishment for adultery. And it makes sense that ideal of beauty would change over time as well. The Havared psychology professor Nancy Etcoff, says that beauty is evolutionary. Etcoffs book, "Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty is currently a best seller in Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and China. So what are Asian women requesting from their plastic surgeion? The top requests are wider eyes, longer noses and fuller breasts—features not typical of the race, but the new Chinise version of Extreme Makeover called. "Lovely Cinderella, shows some of the shift towards the Asian ideal. I will have to do more blogs to cover the concept of evolutionary beauty in the meantime check out the Time Mag article with reporting by Robert Horn/Bangkok, Joyce Huang/Taipei, Zamira Loebis/Jakarta, Michiko Toyama/Tokyo, Bryan Walsh/Shenzhen and Genevieve Wilkinson/Singapore
Wait Untill You See the Whites of Their Eyes!
"Wait Until You See the Whites of Their Eyes!"
...is the iconic battle cry of the Commander under siege as the attackers come in mass upon the fort, circle of wagons or up the hill towards his men. Strangely, the large whites of the eyes in humans, where designed to help us cooperate.
Recent research at Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology discovered that unlike chimps and apes who look at head movement, children pay more attention to eye movement. Why?
Tune in soon for the answer
...is the iconic battle cry of the Commander under siege as the attackers come in mass upon the fort, circle of wagons or up the hill towards his men. Strangely, the large whites of the eyes in humans, where designed to help us cooperate.
Recent research at Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology discovered that unlike chimps and apes who look at head movement, children pay more attention to eye movement. Why?
Tune in soon for the answer
Wait untill you see the whites of their eyes!
"Wait untill you see the whites of their eyes!", is the iconic battle cry of the commander under siege as the attackers come in mass upon the fort, circle of wagons or up the hills toward his men.
Strangely, the large whites of the eyes in human where designed to help us cooperate.
Recent research at Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology discovered that unlike chimps and apes who look at head movement, children pay more attention to eye movement.
Apes and chimps need to mask where they are looking looking from other primates and thus do not have those bright whites of the eyes. Anthropologist Brain Hare says primates who do not have bright whites can hide where they are looking from others so they can, "...eat it, mate it, or chase it," I am thinking the chasing might come first, but I digress.
Humans however have evolved the bright whites of the eyes to contrast with our baby blues Iris and dark pupils so we can easily see the direction of another person's gaze.
The theory is that the advantages of understanding and cooperation received through mutual gaze outweigh a having a poker face. This is particular useful to me as I am not a great poker player, but boy can I read that body language.
I think this also interesting if your apply all the information we get subconsciously from eye gaze and brain function. That is the science of NLP. Which I have blogged about previously. I love that we were designed to create mutual gaze. If your interested in the whites of the eyes research pick up this months Scientific American Mind. Just another fun body language fact.
Strangely, the large whites of the eyes in human where designed to help us cooperate.
Recent research at Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology discovered that unlike chimps and apes who look at head movement, children pay more attention to eye movement.
Apes and chimps need to mask where they are looking looking from other primates and thus do not have those bright whites of the eyes. Anthropologist Brain Hare says primates who do not have bright whites can hide where they are looking from others so they can, "...eat it, mate it, or chase it," I am thinking the chasing might come first, but I digress.
Humans however have evolved the bright whites of the eyes to contrast with our baby blues Iris and dark pupils so we can easily see the direction of another person's gaze.
The theory is that the advantages of understanding and cooperation received through mutual gaze outweigh a having a poker face. This is particular useful to me as I am not a great poker player, but boy can I read that body language.
I think this also interesting if your apply all the information we get subconsciously from eye gaze and brain function. That is the science of NLP. Which I have blogged about previously. I love that we were designed to create mutual gaze. If your interested in the whites of the eyes research pick up this months Scientific American Mind. Just another fun body language fact.
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