There are times when someone’s nonverbal communication is so unbelievably rude you wonder if the person is clueless or just visiting from another planet. I rarely rant in my blog but after being interviewed recently for my nonverbal stories on techie rudeness I wanted to share some stories.
I was sitting in a packed plane that was delayed on the ground for an hour. The guy sitting next to me was talking on his cell phone, quite loudly with his one night stand from the night before; about all the things they did...everything...in detail for over and hour. No request from me could make him stop he just got louder. Everyone around him was squirming as he kept talking using very explicit language and repeating the phrase, “You where so drunk last night.”
I am a professional speaker and set ground rules in my programs so people respect everyone in the audience and don't use their cell phones, type, twitter or do "hip checks" on the blackberry’s. I do that because I know how frustrating it feels to be an audience member when a fellow participant is being rude. At one convention a few years ago I stayed to here the next speaker. A guy in one of the front rows cell phone rang and he took the call and started talking got up walked down the center isle to the last row and paced the back of the room talking loudly on his cell phone. It’s as if the other 100 audience members where not there. AHHGGGG!
What are your “That’s so rude!” stories?
Talk to strangers- party body language article is below
My mother always told me to “Talk to strangers." OK, I know what you are thinking. She didn't say,"Go out and play in the highway." What she really meant was, "Talk to strangers as if they are your friends." I remember growing up my mom and I would go into Walgreen’s soda fountain for a BLT after a day of shopping. My mom would sit down with a big smile, and the waitress would walk up and my mom would turn to her and lean in close as if she had known that waitress all her life and start talking. But most of all she would start listening. She would look that waitress in the eye, nod her head and keep saying say "uh-huh," and by the end of the meal she would leave the place knowing the waitress’s name and the names of her children. She did this everywhere she went and she still does it. She flirts with the world. And you know, everybody loves it. This one piece of advice has guided my life. Talking to strangers led me to be a body language expert and professional speaker. I think we are all connected and that makes being in the world warm and welcoming.
Don't forget to sign up for the free body language seminar today.
Don't forget to sign up for the free body language seminar today.
Ten Tips for Introductions
May I introduce? The proper etiquette, rules, tips and guidelines for making introductions.
Using the proper introductions help to establish rapport when meeting people. Yes they are not always easy, but they are important. And knowing how to introduce people to one another can make you not only more comfortable in business and social setting it can make other people feel more comfortable and make you look more confident! Here are ten tips for making introductions.
The most important thing is to introduce people to each other. If you don’t know someone’s name. Or you forget whose name comes first it is alright. Don’t avoid them or just stand there hoping they will introduce them selves.
If you forget a name simply say, “Please forgive me I have forgotten your full name.” If that seems awkward to you simple say. “Hello, I would like you to meet my wife Sara and hopefully they follow through with their name. It is still less awkward than standing their you’re your unnamed wife. That shows a lack of respect for both parties. Always introduce!
In very formal setting you would say, “I would like to present to you....” Otherwise it is fine to say, “I would like to introduce you to...” or less formally, Mrs.Garmen, Mrs. Tolbight,”
When your introducing someone at a party or say out at a restaurant at the mall or a bar you could also say. Mrs. Jones, you know Mrs. Robinson, don’t you?” Or Sarah have you met Molly. Or Julie do you know my Mother?
In business at formal business events Introduce individuals to each other using both first and last names. If you are in a casual social setting or party it is fine to use first names. "Jim, Id like you to meet my neighbor, Sarah." Or, very casually, "Sarah, Jim.", "Jim, Sarah".
Whose name do you say first? Though even Miss Manner and Emily Post disagree on whose name comes first I believe you should honor the highest person by saying their name first. So think authority defines whose name is said first. Say the name of the most important person first and then the name of the person being introduced.
Introduce people in the following order:
· Younger to older, “Mrs. Hopkins I would like you to meet my little sister Mary Jones.”
· non-official to official,”Mr. President I would like you to present to you Mr. John Brown.”
· junior executive to senior executive, ”Mr. Iacocca I would like you to present you to our new junior executive Mr. Sam Horn”
· Colleague to customer, “Mrs. Hawthorne (The customer) I would like to introduce you to my college Mr. Mike Frank.”
· 2 year employee to ten year employee. Sam Coke I would like you to meet John Hordin.
· Trump rules. A customer visiting an office trumps the CEO. Mr. Camp I would like you to meet our CEO Mr. Mike Smith. There are also choices to make. Let’s say that you are introducing people to a speaker at an event and not everyone knows the name of the speaker. You could either say. MS Patti Wood I like you to meet my college Mr. Mike Stewart. Mr. Stewart (or just plane Mike) I would like you to meet our speaker today Patti Wood or you could say the lower status person’s name first Frank Smith I would like to introduce your to our speaker Dr. James Nelson. Dr Nelson this is Frank Smith he has been at the Atlanta Training office of UKS for two years. He works with Jennie Waddington. It is OK if you mess up the order. No small children were harmed, just keep going.
If you're in a formal business setting, say a convention, introduce someone who has a title’s doctor, for example’ include the title as well as the first and last names in the introduction. Use proper titles. Don't introduce your parents as 'Mom' or 'Dad' unless that is how they would like to be addressed. You can say, “I would like you to meet my mother Ms. Jones.
If the person you are introducing has a specific relationship to you, make the relationship clear by adding a phrase such as 'my boss,' 'my wife' or 'my uncle.' In the case of unmarried couples who are living together, 'companion' and 'partner' are good choices.
Use your spouse's first and last name if he or she has a different last name than you. Include the phrase 'my wife' or 'my husband.' Mr. Jones I would like you to meet my husband Eric Mann.
Introduce an individual to the group first, then the group to the individual. For example: 'Dr. Noble, I'd like you to meet my friends Hassan Jubar, Kim Nordeck and Michael Smith. Everyone, this is Dr. Mark Noble.'
Give them something to talk about once you have introduced them, preferably something they have in common. For example:” Sara this is Paul.","Paul, Sara is the biggest Baseball fan I have ever met" Now you have them a conversation starter. If you need to go, once they get a bit of a conversation going you can excuse yourself politely
Stand up. The rule used to be that only men were supposed to stand when being introduced to a woman. Now, gender no longer plays a role in most business introductions in the U.S. and European communities. In business situations, one should always stand up when being introduced to someone else.If you are traveling to another country, whether it be for business or pleasure, or if you are meeting someone whose culture is unfamiliar, always check to see what the specific manners are for that country or culture. If you are in a casual setting or in a group setting you won’t get beat up if you don’t stand, but you should stand. You don’t get to shake hands if you don’t. The exception to the rule. If you are eating you don’t have to stand or shake hands.
If your introduced to someone respond. You don’t have to say, “Nice to meet you.” It is the polite response, but you may not be sure yet if it will be nice. You don’t have to say, “It is a pleasure to meet you unless it is a pleasure.You do have to say something. You should repeat the person's name back; In a formal setting saying "Hi" or " Hello" is not enough. Instead, say, “Hello” "Do you prefer being called David or should I call you Dave?"
For more free tips on body language register for my FREE Body Language Teleclass, once your registered you will receive all the info and even if you cannot make the call we will provide you with the FREE mp3. Register here http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830
Using the proper introductions help to establish rapport when meeting people. Yes they are not always easy, but they are important. And knowing how to introduce people to one another can make you not only more comfortable in business and social setting it can make other people feel more comfortable and make you look more confident! Here are ten tips for making introductions.
The most important thing is to introduce people to each other. If you don’t know someone’s name. Or you forget whose name comes first it is alright. Don’t avoid them or just stand there hoping they will introduce them selves.
If you forget a name simply say, “Please forgive me I have forgotten your full name.” If that seems awkward to you simple say. “Hello, I would like you to meet my wife Sara and hopefully they follow through with their name. It is still less awkward than standing their you’re your unnamed wife. That shows a lack of respect for both parties. Always introduce!
In very formal setting you would say, “I would like to present to you....” Otherwise it is fine to say, “I would like to introduce you to...” or less formally, Mrs.Garmen, Mrs. Tolbight,”
When your introducing someone at a party or say out at a restaurant at the mall or a bar you could also say. Mrs. Jones, you know Mrs. Robinson, don’t you?” Or Sarah have you met Molly. Or Julie do you know my Mother?
In business at formal business events Introduce individuals to each other using both first and last names. If you are in a casual social setting or party it is fine to use first names. "Jim, Id like you to meet my neighbor, Sarah." Or, very casually, "Sarah, Jim.", "Jim, Sarah".
Whose name do you say first? Though even Miss Manner and Emily Post disagree on whose name comes first I believe you should honor the highest person by saying their name first. So think authority defines whose name is said first. Say the name of the most important person first and then the name of the person being introduced.
Introduce people in the following order:
· Younger to older, “Mrs. Hopkins I would like you to meet my little sister Mary Jones.”
· non-official to official,”Mr. President I would like you to present to you Mr. John Brown.”
· junior executive to senior executive, ”Mr. Iacocca I would like you to present you to our new junior executive Mr. Sam Horn”
· Colleague to customer, “Mrs. Hawthorne (The customer) I would like to introduce you to my college Mr. Mike Frank.”
· 2 year employee to ten year employee. Sam Coke I would like you to meet John Hordin.
· Trump rules. A customer visiting an office trumps the CEO. Mr. Camp I would like you to meet our CEO Mr. Mike Smith. There are also choices to make. Let’s say that you are introducing people to a speaker at an event and not everyone knows the name of the speaker. You could either say. MS Patti Wood I like you to meet my college Mr. Mike Stewart. Mr. Stewart (or just plane Mike) I would like you to meet our speaker today Patti Wood or you could say the lower status person’s name first Frank Smith I would like to introduce your to our speaker Dr. James Nelson. Dr Nelson this is Frank Smith he has been at the Atlanta Training office of UKS for two years. He works with Jennie Waddington. It is OK if you mess up the order. No small children were harmed, just keep going.
If you're in a formal business setting, say a convention, introduce someone who has a title’s doctor, for example’ include the title as well as the first and last names in the introduction. Use proper titles. Don't introduce your parents as 'Mom' or 'Dad' unless that is how they would like to be addressed. You can say, “I would like you to meet my mother Ms. Jones.
If the person you are introducing has a specific relationship to you, make the relationship clear by adding a phrase such as 'my boss,' 'my wife' or 'my uncle.' In the case of unmarried couples who are living together, 'companion' and 'partner' are good choices.
Use your spouse's first and last name if he or she has a different last name than you. Include the phrase 'my wife' or 'my husband.' Mr. Jones I would like you to meet my husband Eric Mann.
Introduce an individual to the group first, then the group to the individual. For example: 'Dr. Noble, I'd like you to meet my friends Hassan Jubar, Kim Nordeck and Michael Smith. Everyone, this is Dr. Mark Noble.'
Give them something to talk about once you have introduced them, preferably something they have in common. For example:” Sara this is Paul.","Paul, Sara is the biggest Baseball fan I have ever met" Now you have them a conversation starter. If you need to go, once they get a bit of a conversation going you can excuse yourself politely
Stand up. The rule used to be that only men were supposed to stand when being introduced to a woman. Now, gender no longer plays a role in most business introductions in the U.S. and European communities. In business situations, one should always stand up when being introduced to someone else.If you are traveling to another country, whether it be for business or pleasure, or if you are meeting someone whose culture is unfamiliar, always check to see what the specific manners are for that country or culture. If you are in a casual setting or in a group setting you won’t get beat up if you don’t stand, but you should stand. You don’t get to shake hands if you don’t. The exception to the rule. If you are eating you don’t have to stand or shake hands.
If your introduced to someone respond. You don’t have to say, “Nice to meet you.” It is the polite response, but you may not be sure yet if it will be nice. You don’t have to say, “It is a pleasure to meet you unless it is a pleasure.You do have to say something. You should repeat the person's name back; In a formal setting saying "Hi" or " Hello" is not enough. Instead, say, “Hello” "Do you prefer being called David or should I call you Dave?"
For more free tips on body language register for my FREE Body Language Teleclass, once your registered you will receive all the info and even if you cannot make the call we will provide you with the FREE mp3. Register here http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830
Self confidence.
A Men’s Health Magazine readership study showed that confidence ranked ahead of assertiveness, patience, communication skills and ambition as one of the characteristics. guys felt would earn more respect. Interestingly, confidence also ranked second on the skills guys felt they needed to work on the most. And I thought Men's Health readers where all buff and confident studs.
I use to teach a four week self esteem class. One semester I noticed that the people in my public speaking classes often had those same self esteem issues, and at the end of my three day public speaking class their confidence had grown tremendously. They had climbed their personal Mount Everest and having achieved the summit, they knew day to day interactions would never be as scary. Even today, the emails I receive after my public speaking class attest to the power of speaking success to help build confidence in all social areas. I feel one thing that can help your confidence is knowing what to do nonverbally. The part of your brain that controls your body langauage also holds your emotions. Making your body confidenct can make the rest of you confidenent. So use your body language to reduce your aniexty.
I use to teach a four week self esteem class. One semester I noticed that the people in my public speaking classes often had those same self esteem issues, and at the end of my three day public speaking class their confidence had grown tremendously. They had climbed their personal Mount Everest and having achieved the summit, they knew day to day interactions would never be as scary. Even today, the emails I receive after my public speaking class attest to the power of speaking success to help build confidence in all social areas. I feel one thing that can help your confidence is knowing what to do nonverbally. The part of your brain that controls your body langauage also holds your emotions. Making your body confidenct can make the rest of you confidenent. So use your body language to reduce your aniexty.
Body Language Lady Weight loss tips
I was skinny most of my life then I started gaining wieght. Finally I figured out how to stay skinny. I went from a size six ( yes that is still small but big for me to a size 0 in few months.) That was almost 30 pounds in weight loss. People ask me how I lost the weight. My lament that skinny is new pretty. (I have a post.) I was actually shocked at how many strangers responded to me so differently when I lost the weight. Goodness, even my friends kept saying how much better I looked and they loved me! I have kept most of the weight off. (If you want to know the particulars I am now between a size two and size four depending on the designer.)
The photo on the right with me in the red sweater was taken three years ago the one on the left was taken recently. Yep, I don't think I look that different. People still ask me how I lost the pounds and keep the weight off. It is not easy. After much peer pressure I promised some friends at a party last Friday night that I would blog my diet tips. I don't think it is anything new. But they wanted it in print. Though, I feel so silly saying what I do "out loud."
I am a professional speaker and a body language expert I have known for years that your appearance is important. However, I assumed with each year of age everyone gained weight. So I just put on the pounds. I have been traveling to give speeches and workshops on body language for many years so I spend a good bit of time on the road. I want to say again, I have to work really hard to keep the weight I lost off.
Here are my tips to keep weight off.
The first and most important thing is I walk every single day.
1. If I am home in Atlanta I walk with my dog Bo. We are lucky to live near a park and long walking trail.
I hate to exercise Bo and I meet so many people and dogs on the trail that I see it as a friendly visit rather than a sweatathon. We love to form our Pet Parent dog first impressions with each other. Bo, of course, is a great reader of people body language. If there is a treadmill in a hotel I get on it with the days paper. I look for stories to tie to the content of my speeches, but truly the reading distracts me from the fact that I am sweating. Pure exercise is so boring to me. I love to be "in the moment" but if that moment involves a noisy treadmill I want a distraction.
2. One thing I do seems highly unusual to other people. When I get to airport I put on my walking shoes take the handle of my wheeled briefcase and get in about 30 minutes walking up and down the concourses. People sitting in their seats at the gates stare at me, security has stopped me, but by the time I get on my flight I am refreshed and I have managed to avoid the airport junk food.
3. When I am home I walk every day for 45 minutes and while I am walking I enjoy the woods and my dogs wagging tale. To keep me going at the end of the walk I catch up on my calls to friends and family. They all tease me that I am always panting and breathless when I talk to them.
4. My rule in my home office is too keeping moving while I am on the phone with personal calls. I put on my headset and walk up and down the stairs, but away laundry, unload the dishwasher, or simply walk from room to room. I am mindful and present with my phone partner and let my body move with the beat our talking.
5. Nights are my difficult time; At home I will take a walk at night if I feel hungry. In hotels I read. You can’t eat and read a book. And watching TV seems to make me hungry.
6. When I am out of town I have trail mix to keep from ordering dessert from room service.
At home I have the usual cut up vegetable to crunch on, but my savior is plain Greek yogurt with a spoonful of peanut butter or walnuts or berries.
That's it.
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