Couples and Sleep Positions

How do sleep positions offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?
What is so fascinating is that it can reveal things about the couple that people may not see if they watch the couple upright in the daytime. We are at our most vulnerable position in sleep. Woman you can fake a lot with a man but you can’t fake your sleep position. So how your body moves and joins shows your trust and connection. When looking at sleep positions you always want to take into consideration health issues like snoring that may not only make you want to move away from your partner in bed, they may make you want to leave the room! Also, realize there are no right ways or wrong ways to sleep with your sweetie. You are not being graded on your sleep positions and unless you are on a reality television show, we are not watching you sleep.
When an individual sleeps in the fetal position on your side curled up it shows an innocence and trust. British research says that 51 percent of women and sleep in this position. If they hug the pillow, they need a lot of love and what does it say about a couple if they spoon so both are in the curled up position? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that, he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man, loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly in a way that constricts his movements and he is arching or pulling away, she is showing in sleep that she is fearful of losing him. In the cradled spoon both partners are on their sides and one partner will be cradled to the chest of the other. Typically, the woman’s head is cradled into the man’s chest with the man’s arms wrapped around the woman. Again showing protectiveness but with more emphasis on the women letting go of a need to be dominant. Some woman may start in this position but move up in sleep to show their need to be on an equal level with their partner. On the other hand, they just might need air! (Smile)
Comfortable spooning is his is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows sexuality and security in the relationship. One partner is saying with their body, I can turn my back on you and know I am safe, you have my back and the other partner is saying I want to surround you and take you in. Since the full torso is making contact, it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!

Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years typically 5 to 6 but if the couple is still close they will touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.

V Hug occurs when couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, the upper bodies, legs, and feet are apart but the rear ends touch. So each partner forms a V. As long as their buttocks touch, they are staying connected and showing that their sexual interest is still present. They are already a confident couple just need space. This is a sleep position that can form when a couple has small children that cling to them during the day so in sleep they want to touch their partner intimately way but not model a child’s need to hold on.
The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to gaze into each other’s eyes even in sleep. They face each other and touch the front of their bodies their feet their legs their knees torso chests even one partner may even cradle the others face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first make love. In addition, is also seen in couples who are not married. If your partner hasn’t been facing you as they go to sleep and they start facing you, it indicates their need to connect, and be more intimate.
The Royal Hug- In the position the man lies on his back facing up. If anyone takes this position it indicates confidence and self-assurance symbolically the person is facing life. When you sleep like that with your partner, you’re showing your power and dominance in the relationship. If the female partner rests her head on, his shoulder and faces him in a fetal position she is showing she depends on and lets him be in charge. If she is rests her head but stretches out her body she depends on him but she wants to make decisions herself as well. If a woman head rests further down on the man’s chest rather than shoulder it shows she feels more comfortable with the man in charge. This is a common position for women to take when their husbands are much older. If the man has his hands on top of his head like a crown and/or the elbows out to the side in a cape, they are showing they think they are in charge. They are take charge enthusiastic and perhaps like to tell their partner The Leg or Feet Hug- This is a position where just the legs or feet of the couple touch. This position can be taken after years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Alternatively, can be a position couples take after a fight when they would normally have slept closer but their angry so they don’t go to the old position but they signal they will still love each other in the morning by touching the feet or legs. The feet are the most honest portion of the body, under the least conscious control, the furthest from the brain. I love that your mind is mad but your body says I still love you and I won’t kick you out of the bed.
Sleeping on your stomach temporarily typically shows you are anxious and need to protect the vulnerable front of your body. So watch if your partner suddenly changes to that position. A partner who turns away from their mate to sleep on their stomach can be communicating a lack of trust in their partner. Watch to see if your children switch to that position as well. Research shows that when someone who always sleeps on their stomach with their arms bent and hands up around the head in a crown in the crab position it shows they persistent goal oriented compulsive and stubborn.

The Cliffhanger is when both couples are opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person needs a good night’s sleep and some external factor like snoring or menopausal night sweats make your partner an inferno or if it is a change from hug like sleep it can indicate a desire to be more independent or separate from or a desire to have a king size bed.
Always notice changes in sleep positions. If a partner is close for years and suddenly separate and there is not physical reason like you, started snoring you can reach out a hand or foot across the bed and see if they respond in kind or brings it up in conversation. “I loved it when you slept with your arms around me and I noticed you haven’t been what can we do to feel closer during the day so we feel comfortable being close at night?”

There are couples that our so interconnected that they go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.

What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleep away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.), sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.

What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self-disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss. Men are more likely to self disclose when positioned side by side with someone. They can be defensive or closed when they sit across a table from you but get them lying side by side and they open up. Women choose the booth at the restaurant and want to talk over the dinner table they want to face a man to speak with him and watch his body language men want the front of their bodies their heart windows protected when they share their intimate thoughts and feelings. Think about how women who are driving look at the passenger to speak and men who are driving always look forward. So too get a man to share get in on a long car trip or in bed.

Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."
Here are my rough notes to a journalist from NEST magazine doing an article on sleep positions.

How do sleep positions of couples offer a view into what's going on in the relationship?

What does it say about a couple if they spoon? In the two spoons in a drawer position, couples sleep side-by-side with one partner's full front around the full back of the other partner. If the man is around the woman it shows that he is comfortable being the protector in the relationship. If the woman is around the man loosely it shows she is the protector but if she is wrapped around him tightly she is fearful of losing him. This is the most common position adopted by couples during the first few years of their relationship/marriage. If the spooning is comfortably given and equal, it shows security in the relationship. Since full torso is making contact it also shows a secure sexual relationship. This position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners. Everybody Spoon!

Loose spooning where there is a little gap between the bodies, tends to come later in the relationship after a few years.

Later couples may be back-to-back to create more independence, but as long as their buttocks touch they are staying connected and showing their sexual interest is still present.
Their our couples that go beyond spooning to a position I call, melding, where the couples wrap themselves around each other completely with legs and arms around each other. My sister and brother-in-law have always slept that way and they married a week after they graduated from college and have been married for40 years.

What does it say to your partner or about the relationship if the couples sleeps away from one another, at the opposite sides of the bed? The body positions in sleep reflect the true relationship. Unless one partner snores or is in menopause or has some other physical issue (in which case would prevent them from getting into bed and cuddling and then separating in sleep.) sleep separation shows a desire to have a stronger sense of self and less dependence or interdependence on your partner.

What does it mean when couples don't sleep in the same room? Again, unless there is a physical reason it shows the need to be separate. I advise couples to go to bed together in one room at the same time and cuddle. If there are physical issues I recommend that they go to bed together for a little bit, cuddle and then go to separate rooms. Try to share the same bed a few mornings together too. Time spent side-by-side in an intimate space with one another is important. That situation creates a perfect place for self disclosure and bonding that couples don’t want to miss.

Research indicates, couples who fall asleep and wake up at the same time, the longevity of the marriage is enhanced. Studies also show - couples who got up and went to sleep at the same time are content in their relationship, while 30% of those with dissimilar sleep times complained of an unhappy union. This is not surprising, unless there is a health issue sleep patterns can be a passive aggressive way of communicating to your spouse. It can say, "I cannot depend on you." or "I don’t trust you." or "I want to leave space to be unfaithful to you." "I don't feel that close to you."

What your favorite snack food reveals about your personality

I am getting ready for a presentation in Chicago on DISC personalty type. I have researching and speaking on personality type for almost 30 years. GASP!
I did research on sneezing, smiling, and chewing and the DISC personality type as the National spokesperson for Benadryl, The Natural Dentist and Wrigley's gum respectively. ( my tests are on my website at PattiWood.net. Today, as I prepped for my speech, I went out to look for any new research on DISC and found a fun test that shows how your favorite snack food reveals your personality. The research for the test was done on 800 people a reasonable sample size but there where no details on how the research was done. In any case, check your very favorite snack food from the list of 10 snacks below then go to the link to find your results. Just pick one!

My favorite snack food it ....
___ Tortilla chips ___ Pretzels ___ Cheese curls ____Popcorn,

___Nuts ____Potato chips _____ Crackers ____Meat snacks (like beef jerky)

Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.
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September/October 2007 By Lisa Turner, from Alternative Medicine
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Dying for a doughnut? Pining for a pretzel? What you snack on reveals more than your food preferences, says Alan Hirsch, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago and author of What's Your Food Sign? (Stewart, Tabori, and Chang, 2006). Hirsch had 800 volunteers take personality tests and then asked them which of eight snacks they preferred. The results were astounding: Those who shared a particular personality type chose the same snack 95 percent of the time.
Yes, if we learn to view healthy food as a human right...
While linking personality type with a passion for popcorn might seem like a stretch, Hirsch says it makes sense biologically. "Food preferences reside in the olfactory lobe, the same part of the brain where the personality resides," he explains.
Here's the message in some popular munchies:
Tortilla chips. You're a perfectionist. You're successful and ambitious, and you like to plan ahead. You have a strong sense of social responsibility and abhor injustice.
Pretzels. You're the life of the party. You love novelty and can quickly become bored with routine. You tend to start new projects before completing existing ones.
Cheese curls. You have a high sense of morals and ethics and insist upon treating everyone fairly. You might seem uptight, but you're highly organized and methodical.
Popcorn. You're a take-charge type, but with a modest, low-key demeanor. Confident but reserved, you would make a large charitable donation without telling anyone.
Nuts. You're even-tempered, easy to get along with, and highly empathetic. Your easygoing, cooperative nature contributes to success at home and at work.
Potato chips. You're achievement-oriented, successful, and competitive. You're a natural leader but can be easily irritated with inconveniences like long lines and traffic jams.
Crackers. You're contemplative, thoughtful, and often a loner. You prefer private time and shy away from confrontation and arguments; you can't stand to hurt another person's feelings.
Meat snacks (like beef jerky). You're gregarious and generous, and you tend to be loyal to a fault. Says Hirsch, "If you want a true friend, pick a meat-snack lover."
Excerpted from Alternative Medicine (May 2007), a trusted voice in the field of natural health; http://www.alternativemedicine.com/.

I can see by your face you would be unfaithful.

Yes, you are actually able to tell if someone is likely to be unfaithful to you by looking at their faces. The study below shows that Men with Masculine faces and women with highly attractiveness are not only perceived as being more likely to be unfaithful but are more unfaithful. In addition, it shows that woman prefer more androgynous looking men because they are more likely to be faithful. That explains my teen age crushes on Davey Jone and David Cassidy.
Original Article
Facial correlates of sociosexuality
Lynda G. Boothroyda,b,⁎, Benedict C. Jonesa,c, D. Michael Burta,b,
Lisa M. DeBruinec, David I. Perretta
aSchool of Psychology, University of St Andrews, Fife, Scotland, UK
bDepartment of Psychology, University of Durham, Durham, England, UK
cSchool of Psychology, University of Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Scotland, UK
Initial receipt 14 August 2007; final revision received 28 December 2007
Abstract
Previous studies have documented variation in sexual behaviour between individuals leading to the notion of ‘restricted’ individuals
(i.e., people who prefer long-term relationships) and ‘unrestricted’ individuals (i.e., people who are open to short-term relationships). This
distinction is often referred to as sociosexual orientation. Observers have been previously found to distinguish sociosexuality from video
footage of individuals, although the specific cues used have not been identified. Here we assessed the ability of observers to judge sexual
strategy based specifically on cues in both facial composites and real faces. We also assessed how observers' perceptions of the
masculinity/femininity and attractiveness of faces relate to the sociosexual orientation of the pictured individuals. Observers were
generally able to identify restricted vs. unrestricted individuals from cues in both composites and real faces. Unrestricted sociosexuality
was generally associated with greater attractiveness in female composites and real female faces and greater masculinity in male
composites. Although male observers did not generally associate sociosexuality with male attractiveness, female observers generally
preferred more restricted males' faces (i.e., those with relatively strong preferences for long-term relationships). Collectively, our results
support previous findings that androgenisation in men is related to less restricted sexual behaviour and suggest that women are averse to
unrestricted men.
© 2008 Published by Elsevier Inc.
Keywords: Sexual strategy; Sociosexuality; Masculinity; Attraction; Faces

The secreat body language tell of contempt

I just had one on my coaching clients here at the office. (Yes I do one on one coaching on body language.) I gave him the facial expression test to identify emotions. We ended up having a really great discussion about the different facial expressions. My client was particularly fascinated by the "tell" for contempt. If you follow this blog you know I talk a lot about the lack of facial symmetry. Well when someone feels contemptuous they often pull up the their lip on one side of the face. The face looks twisted. Remember it this way. Contempt is a twisted emotion so it twists the face.

Dancing with the Stars Body Language

BODY LANGUAGE OF CELEBRITIES
On Dancing with the Stars
Here are my rough notes (translation unedited notes) on Dancing with the Stars body language.

Steve Wozniak always projects happiness and optimism verbally, but he seems to stand rigid with his hands steadfastly down beside his body. He also tilts his head many times when listening to the judge’s scores all while maintaining a billion dollar smile. His face seems to be reacting differently to his body. Why?
What is so wonderful about reading body language of celebrities in dancing with the stars is you know what their body language is normally are on TV you what called in their baseline is and then you see how being exciting and challenging show changes them and shows you things you have never seen before. In Steve's case, he always holds his body very stiff in what I call the Nutcracker posture big smile arms down at his sides. That his normal behaviour. He has so much fun on the dance floor chest out during judging only one talked put out his hand arm to get attention and speak he actually able to talk.


The body is always more honest than the face because it under less conscious control you are less aware of it so when you are reading body language you want to read from the feet to the top of the head. The face can be for show the body can be for real. A head tilt can mean intent listening or show I am less powerful than you are.
Lawrence spends a lot of time on his own behind the scenes and in the red room before his performance. Why do you think he does this? This is so fascinating, his he has this image of being very aggressive on the football field, but on the need to spend, a lot of time reveals that he is really an introvert. Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries. (Nervousness biting his nails in first practices self-beating himself up. During judging on first show. Tongue thrust, hands fully behind his back, tight stiff mouth grin
Ty constantly licks his lips and bites his lower lip when listening to the judges. What does that mean? Nervousness? King of the rodeo smiling most cheek up against her tongue wiping away nervousness Bruno tough judge downward smile and tongue thrust out at end of judging and before scores on first episode
Ty also holds on to Chelsea very tightly with his hand right around the back of her shoulder blades grasping the other side of her arm. Is he perhaps protecting her or holding on to her for moral support?
Denise licks her lips and tilts her head and to one side and puts her hand on her hip on this same side when listening to the judges. Almost like a little kid does in the playground when they are being defiant or strong. Any particular reason why Denise might do this?
For someone so noisy and chatty, you nailed Steve big grin and rubbing his hands together during judges scoring, Steve O is very quiet and closed mouth breathing through his nose. I love that his smiles and gulps down and breaths through his nose. He gulping for air after dancing but we breathe negative feeling out and his breathing his nervousness out through his nose. (First show little smile during waltz as he completed step the funny ta da move and grin at the end of the waltz,) During first judging started with big smile and then nodded his head
Shawn holds her hands and arms in front when listening to the judge. What does that tell us?
Holly shrugs her shoulders and grins a sheepish smile lot when listening to the judges. What does this mean? That shrugging shoulder turtle posture is a protective response when someone is under attack.


David puffs his chest out and looks down over his nose with his chin tilted up – looking down over the judges when listening to them. He is tight lipped and keeps his hands behind his back. What does this tell us? Chin up edges of mouth down

Melissa clasps her hands together in front as if she was about to start washing them. What does this mean? Let us get down to business. Tongue out like a bad taste left side of face twisted down to hold he