I was working with a client this afternoon that is extremely shy. She is working on becoming more confident. She was surprised to learn that I use to have extreme social anxiety around strangers. Today I shared with her body language tools to appear and feel calmer. I will be sharing some of those tools at the end of the day. In the meantime here are some great questions from an article on Selfgrowth.com Scroll down and answer the questions and let me know what you feel about your own fear. Links to the author of the article are below. www.PattiWood.net
"We will never be happy to feel fear -- it is fear after all. But fear is one of many signals that can help us on our path, when we do not allow it to manage our path. Where is fear managing your life today? Here are some questions to help you shine light on your fears. With each new awareness comes new power."
"* What fear reoccurs frequently in your life?
* How is this fear holding you back in your life right now? (The more specific you are, the more helpful it will be.)
* If you don't let this fear stop you this time, how will you benefit?
* Will you manage your life today, or will fear? (Hint: Choose you!)"
About the Author:
Arleen Hannich, MA, is a Spiritual Facilitator. She offers Divine Presence, Inspirational Messages from Spirit, and the Oneness Blessing to help individuals lead more authentic, joyful lives. For more information, visit her website at http://www.arleenhannich.com or contact her at AHannich@Bellsouth.net
Check out the Experts page for Arleen Hannich, the SelfGrowth.com Official Guide to Self Realization.
Meaning of the hands hidden under the legs
I just finished a coaching session with one of my body language coaching clients and he asked me about a particular gesture cluster. He sat with his legs crossed and put out both of his hands with the palms down and then wrapped the top of one hand under inside his leg on the right and the top of his other hand inside his leg on the left. I said, "If a woman suddenly went to that position I would read it as her feeling uncomfortable sexually. Perhaps a man is coming on to strong or is teasing with her sexually or she feels sexually threatened by the situation. It would be unusual for a man to do it, but if a man did it would indicate his "manhood" was threaten. He would be indicating that he feels threatened an vulnerable at a deep level. A similar gesture is made when someone stands with their hands in front of their private parts in what is commonly referred to as the fig leaf posture.
G2 summit
A few weekes ago the BBC sent me photos of the G2 summit I will be reading them at a later date.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7978171.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/business/2009/g20/7978258.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7977867
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7978171.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/business/2009/g20/7978258.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7977867
Good Monday Morning
I was speaking in Chicago over the weekend. I will be checkin in latter with my blog.
Body Langauge Advice Tips for Looking Younger
Best Body Language Tips For Looking Younger
Tips for men and women so you can look younger
1. Think "lift" and "up". Move upwards. Lift your head and shoulders upwards. Gesture upwards. Smile so the corners of your mouth go up. Look in the mirror at your normal face when it is a rest and see if your eyes or corners of your mouth go down and see what happens when you lift them up. If you wear anything shirt with a collar make sure they are crisp and seem to lift up creating a lift around your face. If a shirt collar is old or not pressed it will lay to flat and give a down impression to your face and even your shoulder line. Make sure your shirt arms fall crisp and tight at the shoulders. Choose not to wear any shirt or sweater style with off the shoulder arm holes as they only look good on teenagers and bring the visual silhouette down. Making you look stoop shouldered and dowdy.
2. If you need to wear glasses get your glasses tightened regularly. Glasses that come down on your nose, even a little bit make you look much older. Keep your glasses tightened and high on your face. Again think up.
3. When you walk into a room, be it for a social gathering, interview or a meeting hold your shoulders back and head up and sit up.
4. Make sure you make eye contact right away smile and put out your hand for a hand shake with extra energy. (I have done several years of research on handshakes. Link to my handshake article on my website)
5. As you share your ideas and information make sure your voice shows your energy and enthusiasm and hold the strength and volume of your voice all the way to the end of a sentence. As we age our vocal chords show their wear and our voices change and tend to sound rougher and we tend to lose volume at the end or sentences forcing people to not feel with are speaking with conviction and sometimes even saying, “excuse me I didn’t hear you.”
6. Get your hearing and eyesight checked professionally. Do it now.
7. For men and woman make sure everything you wear is crisply pressed, no wrinkles no "wear" on your shoes or belts. You have to make sure your clothes and accessories don’t symbolically say you are old, used or tired.
8. Make sure you are fashion current in colors style and jewelry including, if you wear one, your watch. Now even wearing a watch can age you as many younger people just use their cell phone instead of wearing what they perceive as an old antique device we call a watch.If you’re not sure what’s current in professional clothing read a style magazine and go to a high end store like Nordstrom’s you don't have to purchase it there simply look to see what is current in style then go buy the brand item at TJMAX, or Marshalls or DSW Shoes.
9. It seems basic, but be careful how you sit in a chair. Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of their seats, arching their backs, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. So as woman, too look more confident and powerful, don’t perch the entire time.. Sit back in the chair and use lots of space and put you arms on the arm rest. Men don’t slouch the whole time; you may look lazy rather than vital and energetic. Sit forward slowly as you share certain information about which you are confident.
For Women
1. If you can avoid using one, don’t carry a purse. It not only sends a strong female signal it gives you one more thing to worry about and fuss over. When woman sit down they usually have over 16 separate movements. Men have three and look much more together and organized. If you must carry something carry a folder or hip briefcase.
2. Make up for Woman. Make sure you do wear make-up, but make it light. I love Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer. If you wear eye shadow take your finger and lay it on the outside of eye and sweep any shadow up and out. If you wear eyeliner make sure it goes up slightly and the corner of your eye. When you put on blush make sure to use it sparingly and make it go up around your eyes never down. I suggest a cream blush as the new makeup style is dewy not dry and powdered. Be very careful of lipstick I draw around the edge with a very soft Estee Lauder lipstick pencil press my lips together and blend very well so it covers my entire lip and then I put on a light clear pink gloss. If I need all day coverage for my lipstick I use Max Factor Color Stay in a rose shade and put gloss on throughout the day. Don’t wear eyeliner on your bottom lip and don’t use mascara there it pulls the eye down and makes it look tired and older.
3. Wear the best underwear and support garments that you can afford. Nordstrom's has a wonderfully educated staff. I love Yummy Tummy (may be branded as Yummy Life) Camisoles. They are extremely comfortable and get you down at least one if not two sizes. They are so easy to wear you forget you have them on. Spanx work too, and thank goodness they are improving their garments comfort.
4. I know beige and gray and cream are rich looking colors, but they can wash you out and age you. Put nice flattering color around your face hot pink, pink peach, salmon, cobalt blue whatever makes your skin glow and you makes you feel good.
Tips for men and women so you can look younger
1. Think "lift" and "up". Move upwards. Lift your head and shoulders upwards. Gesture upwards. Smile so the corners of your mouth go up. Look in the mirror at your normal face when it is a rest and see if your eyes or corners of your mouth go down and see what happens when you lift them up. If you wear anything shirt with a collar make sure they are crisp and seem to lift up creating a lift around your face. If a shirt collar is old or not pressed it will lay to flat and give a down impression to your face and even your shoulder line. Make sure your shirt arms fall crisp and tight at the shoulders. Choose not to wear any shirt or sweater style with off the shoulder arm holes as they only look good on teenagers and bring the visual silhouette down. Making you look stoop shouldered and dowdy.
2. If you need to wear glasses get your glasses tightened regularly. Glasses that come down on your nose, even a little bit make you look much older. Keep your glasses tightened and high on your face. Again think up.
3. When you walk into a room, be it for a social gathering, interview or a meeting hold your shoulders back and head up and sit up.
4. Make sure you make eye contact right away smile and put out your hand for a hand shake with extra energy. (I have done several years of research on handshakes. Link to my handshake article on my website)
5. As you share your ideas and information make sure your voice shows your energy and enthusiasm and hold the strength and volume of your voice all the way to the end of a sentence. As we age our vocal chords show their wear and our voices change and tend to sound rougher and we tend to lose volume at the end or sentences forcing people to not feel with are speaking with conviction and sometimes even saying, “excuse me I didn’t hear you.”
6. Get your hearing and eyesight checked professionally. Do it now.
7. For men and woman make sure everything you wear is crisply pressed, no wrinkles no "wear" on your shoes or belts. You have to make sure your clothes and accessories don’t symbolically say you are old, used or tired.
8. Make sure you are fashion current in colors style and jewelry including, if you wear one, your watch. Now even wearing a watch can age you as many younger people just use their cell phone instead of wearing what they perceive as an old antique device we call a watch.If you’re not sure what’s current in professional clothing read a style magazine and go to a high end store like Nordstrom’s you don't have to purchase it there simply look to see what is current in style then go buy the brand item at TJMAX, or Marshalls or DSW Shoes.
9. It seems basic, but be careful how you sit in a chair. Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of their seats, arching their backs, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. So as woman, too look more confident and powerful, don’t perch the entire time.. Sit back in the chair and use lots of space and put you arms on the arm rest. Men don’t slouch the whole time; you may look lazy rather than vital and energetic. Sit forward slowly as you share certain information about which you are confident.
For Women
1. If you can avoid using one, don’t carry a purse. It not only sends a strong female signal it gives you one more thing to worry about and fuss over. When woman sit down they usually have over 16 separate movements. Men have three and look much more together and organized. If you must carry something carry a folder or hip briefcase.
2. Make up for Woman. Make sure you do wear make-up, but make it light. I love Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer. If you wear eye shadow take your finger and lay it on the outside of eye and sweep any shadow up and out. If you wear eyeliner make sure it goes up slightly and the corner of your eye. When you put on blush make sure to use it sparingly and make it go up around your eyes never down. I suggest a cream blush as the new makeup style is dewy not dry and powdered. Be very careful of lipstick I draw around the edge with a very soft Estee Lauder lipstick pencil press my lips together and blend very well so it covers my entire lip and then I put on a light clear pink gloss. If I need all day coverage for my lipstick I use Max Factor Color Stay in a rose shade and put gloss on throughout the day. Don’t wear eyeliner on your bottom lip and don’t use mascara there it pulls the eye down and makes it look tired and older.
3. Wear the best underwear and support garments that you can afford. Nordstrom's has a wonderfully educated staff. I love Yummy Tummy (may be branded as Yummy Life) Camisoles. They are extremely comfortable and get you down at least one if not two sizes. They are so easy to wear you forget you have them on. Spanx work too, and thank goodness they are improving their garments comfort.
4. I know beige and gray and cream are rich looking colors, but they can wash you out and age you. Put nice flattering color around your face hot pink, pink peach, salmon, cobalt blue whatever makes your skin glow and you makes you feel good.
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