Advice for Video Resume and Interviews and Body Language
I am a body language expert and media and job interview coach. As employers get more savvy about technology and more people are giving video interviews and asking for video resumes. I have been blogging about what to do to prepare for your video interview or resume. In my chapter on first impressions in my book Success Signals I share the research finding that the four major factors that affect first impressions are credibility, likability, attractiveness and power. You will notice that great job experience is not listed. My advice to those seeking a job through their video resume is to look as attractive as possible. Get your hair done and put on full make up if you are a woman and at least apply powder if you are a man. I know you might not do that in "real life" but a real job requires some work and a video make up artist can help you look fantastic. As you might guess the research show that the most attractive job candidate typically wins the job, and that attractiveness factor assessment is even more important when the selection is being made by going through a series of videos. Next, practice greeting with a natural "high energy" body language and vocal paralanguage. It will make you look powerful and confident. According to research on interviewing from the 60's to the present day most hiring decisions are made during the first 10 seconds of a face to face interview. You can't shake hands and establish normal rapport in a video "interview." And most research on video viewing indicates that you may have only a fraction of a second to gain a positive first impression. Smile confidently and speak with a slightly louder than normal voice to insure that you sound self assured. Search here for more blogs on the topic. attached is a blog I did on the topic.
Body Language for Building Your Relationship with Your Preteen
Practical Ideas for Sustaining Your Relationship With Your Preteen - Before He or She is Out The Door"
1. Eat dinner with your family face to face at a table at least three times a week. There is enormous amounts of research that it effects many things from a child's ability to read body language and feel comfortable and adept at human interactions, to it reducing teen dropouts and drug abuse because children are checked in with and nurtured on a daily basis for more than the typical fifteen minutes.
2. Put your preteen in the back seat of the car and talk to her. With the front of her body protected and hidden she more likely to self disclose, sharing things she would normally not share in everyday conversation. If she is in the car with her friends listen to the conversation. They will share things, and oddly they will know you are listening and sometimes share more!
3. Always make it a point to go to your child and interact with them as they leave the house, return to the house. go to bed and rise the morning. The rituals or greeting, goodbyes, good night and good morning, especially when their is touch, bond your relationship and make your child feel more secure and connected to you. With that connection they are more likely to feel safe sharing their concerns and fears when and if they have them. You are also more likely to notice if they stop or try to avoid one of the rituals and will know quickly that something may be amiss. Don't let them talk you out of the ritual, with the, "I am too old for that." excuse. Tell them you need the ritual, because you do. Face it, a teenager can be get temperamental and mean, having rituals that help you love on her a few times a day reminds you that she still is your, "baby."
4. If you spend time face to face with your child you know what their “normal” body language is, how they sit, what their energy level is, what their voice sounds like, what their facial expressions and emotional reactions are like. Understanding and knowing the “baseline” of your preteen helps alerts quickly to behaviors that stray from the norm. For example your normally energetic talker now won’t make eye contact at the dinner table. Some changes occur with approaching adolescence but some changes signal depression, being ostracized by peers, problems with web bullies and drug use.
5. Notice when your child's does something RIGHT and praise her and reward her immediately so she doesn't have to do something bad to get your attention. For more insights in dealing with your preteen you may wish to purchase my book, Success Signals at www.PattiWood.net
1. Eat dinner with your family face to face at a table at least three times a week. There is enormous amounts of research that it effects many things from a child's ability to read body language and feel comfortable and adept at human interactions, to it reducing teen dropouts and drug abuse because children are checked in with and nurtured on a daily basis for more than the typical fifteen minutes.
2. Put your preteen in the back seat of the car and talk to her. With the front of her body protected and hidden she more likely to self disclose, sharing things she would normally not share in everyday conversation. If she is in the car with her friends listen to the conversation. They will share things, and oddly they will know you are listening and sometimes share more!
3. Always make it a point to go to your child and interact with them as they leave the house, return to the house. go to bed and rise the morning. The rituals or greeting, goodbyes, good night and good morning, especially when their is touch, bond your relationship and make your child feel more secure and connected to you. With that connection they are more likely to feel safe sharing their concerns and fears when and if they have them. You are also more likely to notice if they stop or try to avoid one of the rituals and will know quickly that something may be amiss. Don't let them talk you out of the ritual, with the, "I am too old for that." excuse. Tell them you need the ritual, because you do. Face it, a teenager can be get temperamental and mean, having rituals that help you love on her a few times a day reminds you that she still is your, "baby."
4. If you spend time face to face with your child you know what their “normal” body language is, how they sit, what their energy level is, what their voice sounds like, what their facial expressions and emotional reactions are like. Understanding and knowing the “baseline” of your preteen helps alerts quickly to behaviors that stray from the norm. For example your normally energetic talker now won’t make eye contact at the dinner table. Some changes occur with approaching adolescence but some changes signal depression, being ostracized by peers, problems with web bullies and drug use.
5. Notice when your child's does something RIGHT and praise her and reward her immediately so she doesn't have to do something bad to get your attention. For more insights in dealing with your preteen you may wish to purchase my book, Success Signals at www.PattiWood.net
Men like to talk side to side, Woman perfer to talk face to face
There are unique aspects of matching and mirroring and being in sync with another person that help build rapport, but there is another nonverbal factor that concerns what I call body Windows. The central window is the window at the middle of your chest that I call the heart window. When men sit across a table a counter or desk facing another man and their heart windows are open and unprotected in can cause them to feel uncomfortable and awakens their primal fears of danger. Men feel that in that vulnerable position that must battle and in a business interaction that leads to disagreements, defensiveness, ego battles and verbal attacks. Because of this primal warring position even little boys will move their chairs and work to sit and stand side by side. In that position their heart is protected and they feel that the man beside them physically is also symbolically on their side. In fact, men feel so much safer that they will self disclose more and communicate more effectively in a side by side to side or catty corner position than from the more opposition causing male face to face position. Woman actually are wired to speak positioned face to face They are built to create and nurture relationships and from this position they can see all the body language and respond accordingly. Again, men prefer to have their hearts protected and be on the "same side" when they talk. For more information on this you can read the chapter on body windows in my book success signals www.PattiWood.net. Go to the products page to order
Methods of dealing with Conflict learned from the echidna
Would keeping cool under stress make you live longer? Well, if you were to model the behavior of the long-beaked echidna, one of the oldest, most passive and silliest-looking mammals on the planet, you might try a little “You live your life and I live mine” philosophy to increase your longevity.According to echidna researcher Dr. Peggy Rismiller of the University of Adleaide in a New York Times article on the ehidna www://www.nyt.com,echidnas are not only “the oldest surviving mammalian group, but individual monotremes can live 50 years or longer.”
So what specific conflict tools do they use? Well according to Take, 1952, when disturbed an echidna buries itself rapidly in the ground. Now that reminds me of men I have dated. Forget the guys going into the cave a la Grey's Mars vs. Venus to fight stress, just bury yourself in the ground when you're upset. In my workshops, I do teach that there are times to avoid conflict, but I wouldn’t recommend staying underground too long. Someone might forget you were mad and walk right over you.
Maybe we should learn to be level headed like the echidna. Though if 50 percent of our brain was the language rich, reasoning, rational thinking neocortex like the Echidna's instead of the measly 30 percent we have, it might be easier not to rant and rave under stress. Again being reasonable is always great, but I recommend making conflict management choices based on the situation rather than shouting out to the galaxy that we all need is to be more logical-- a sort of Star Trek's Spock-- under stress. Of course, there may be another reason the pacifistic echidna can deal well with conflict and live a long life. They are covered with spines. When I meet anyone spinney I know I avoid conflict with them. So let’s add one more conflict management choice to the mix. Sometimes it’s good to be sharp and aggressive. So what have we learned? Be like a long-beaked echidna and have more than one way of dealing with conflict. You can choose to:
1. Let it go and don't stress about it
2. Leave it or avoid it
3. Be logical and reasonable
4. Be aggressive
5. Be weird looking
For specific tools to deal effectively with conflict you may wish to check out my books, “The Conflict Cure” and “Sword Shields Daggers and Handshakes” on the products page of my website www.pattiwood.net or consider having me come in to speak to your group or talking to me about one-on-one coaching.
Music Memories
The article about song memories that I referred two posts ago just appeared here is the link. I am quoted in the second paragraph.
http://tunesnews.com/love-music-and-memories/
Since then my grad school roommate and I have reminisced about listening the Sade's song. "You give me the sweetest taboo." while we danced around the house one night before going out. It was a good memory as I spent almost every night for seven years of grad school studying at the house or library or at my night job heading a survey research team. Going out was a big treat and going out with my roommate who was and is so much fun was a special treat.
We also remembered being in the car with a guy freind and rocking out to a song about MTV. We sang the lyrics on the phone with each other yesterday and were transported back to the eighties. Ahh.....music memories.
http://tunesnews.com/love-music-and-memories/
Since then my grad school roommate and I have reminisced about listening the Sade's song. "You give me the sweetest taboo." while we danced around the house one night before going out. It was a good memory as I spent almost every night for seven years of grad school studying at the house or library or at my night job heading a survey research team. Going out was a big treat and going out with my roommate who was and is so much fun was a special treat.
We also remembered being in the car with a guy freind and rocking out to a song about MTV. We sang the lyrics on the phone with each other yesterday and were transported back to the eighties. Ahh.....music memories.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)