What Do His Eyes Say? Eye behavior, Attraction and Lying

True or false - The meaning of eye cues
Recently a national magazine sent me these eye cues and asked me if the meanings they had listed by them where accurate. They where looking for cues that women could use to read men. Here are my answers.

• True or False: He flashes his eyebrows = He’s attracted to you - A guy raises his eyebrows in a friendly greeting as a signal of "I come in friendship and you don’t need to be fearful of my approach." It’s very primal. If the eyes were squinted into a narrow focus it would signal that the he may be zeroing in for attack.(In other words perhaps purely a sexual conquest.) If the eyebrow flash stays a moment longer it typically signals, “I recognize you and I am approaching in friendship." Picture the little cartoon bubble above the guys head saying,"Oh I know you and I like you." If the eyebrow flash stays a moment longer and is combined with a real smile that goes all the way to the eyes it could signal attraction. He is saying, “I like what I see so I want my eyes to stay open longer to enjoy it.”

• His brows scrunch together and lift in the middle = He’s sad/disappointed
Actually that is not quite accurate. In intense sadness the eyes look down and the and the upper eyelids droop and most importantly only the inner corners of the upper eyebrows go up. So you see the eyebrows raised in the middle of the face above the nose.You can see deep furrows or set of furrows above the nose and you will also see two furrows going out and down from the outer corners of each of the eyes. The unique eye cue that only shows in deep sadness is the raised inner corners of the upper eyebrows. Paul Eckman, the father of facial expression research, shares in his book, Emotions Revealed, that a few actors like Woody Alan and Jim Carrey use that eyebrow cue quite often. I think it makes us feel sorry for them like little lost puppies. Make that Basset hound puppies.

• He closes his eyes for more than a second while speaking = He might be lying – It could mean that, but again you have to note what is happening as he shuts his eyes. We shut our eye when we don’t like what we are seeing. We may close them a bit longer than a normal blink when we hear something we don’t like or when we don’t like or believe what we are saying. (So if they guy closes his eyes in an unnaturally long blink as he says, “I will call you,” don’t wait by the phone. Know a guy may close his eyes a moment longer than normal throughout the entire conversation if he is tired or if he is with someone he doesn’t like or he doesn’t like where the conversation is going.

• His eyes shift down and to the right = He’s experiencing a deep emotion. It is not that simple though you can find some NLP books that say this is true. It is actually more complex than that. If the guy is right handed and he looks down and to the right he may be accessing emotions. Please don’t quote this as down to the right means he experiences deep emotions -- it is not accurate. And eye accessing happens so quickly most people won’t be able to catch it consciously. You could look for another eye cue to see if a man is attracted to you. When someone is looking down with both eyes it can be a signal of submission so if a guy is talking to you and he smiles and looks down with both eyes he may be silently saying, "You are so beautiful I would be dazzled and overwhelmed if I kept looking at you. I bow (with my eyes) to your loveliness." Note that looking down can also indicate that the person is feeling guilty so watch if his eyes go down as he says he is single and available!

Gestures and Body Language Men

Gestures and Gender based differences in body language
Men’s gestures are larger, more sweeping and forceful, such as pointing or using a closed fist. Men stroke their chins more, move their legs and feet more, and tap their feet more.
Exclusive to men: stretching hands and cracking knuckles, both feet on the floor with legs apart, legs stretched out, ankles crossed, knees spread apart when sitting
Exclusive to women: hand or hands in lap, tapping, hands or legs crossed at the knees, ankles crossed, knees slightly apart.

Eye Contact's Effect on Credibility and Trustworthiness.

"He didn't look me in the eye. I just couldn't trust him." What makes someone credible? According to the research, competence, trustworthiness and dynamism are the three main components that make up credibility. Competence is defined as the communicator's knowledge and expertise about the communication. Trustworthiness is a measure of the communicator's honesty and sincerity. Dynamism is a person's energy and confidence in communicating. Nonverbal communication is vital to competence, trustworthiness and dynamism because these qualities are rarely stated directly. For example, people rarely say, "I am competent" or "I am trustworthy."
THE IMPORTANCE OF EYE BEHAVIOR AND EYE CONTACT
The most noticeable nonverbal behavior that affects credibility is eye behavior and eye contact. Like the old saying, "Eyes are your window to the world," eyes can be the window to credibility. Studies on eye contact and its effect on communication and credibility find that maintaining a steady gaze while communicating is beneficial to credibility, and conversely, averting eye contact is detrimental to credibility. Eye contact studies have produced information about the effect of eye contact on the three components of credibility. In tests where these three components were isolated, eye behaviors had little effect on dynamism. The competence and trustworthiness categories, however, produced a significant link.
When volunteers were asked to rate the competence of communicators with low eye contact and with high eye contact, the competence ratings were significantly higher for the subjects who exhibited high eye contact with the audience. The same test produced the same results in measuring trustworthiness of those with low eye contact and high eye contact.

We Hold Little Girls More Than Little Boys

Boy babies are put down sooner and not touched as much as girls... Mothers hold their girl babies longer than boys right after birth. They touch and caress girls more and give them more eye contact and smiles. Boy babies, even in their first baths after birth, are handled less gently and put in their own beds away from their mothers sooner. And we wonder why men and women are different. What have you noticed about touch differences between men and women?

Men and Women Act Differently Because They Don't Look That Different

Women and men learn to communicate in particular ways because those ways are associated with their gender and are nurtured and rewarded. Zoologists, biologists and anthropologists say that unlike certain animal species in which the males and females are easily distinguished, we look pretty much alike. The first question a stranger will ask someone holding a baby is, "Is it a boy or a girl?" AND LADIES, WE GET INSULTED THAT THEY CAN'T TELL, DON'T WE? So we learn behaviors in childhood that help us to be identified as masculine or feminine. What we learn may be different in Auburn, Alabama than in Bangkok, Thailand. AND, what you learn growing up may not fit the cultural needs or gender roles of today. What has your cultural heritage taught you about gender differences?