"If you continue in my word, then you are my disciples . . . And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
-John 8:32
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
Deception Detection: So you thought you had it made?
Julie Levin (an intern's musings)
In this economy, not too many people feel absolutely secure in their financial situation. Well unless you're among the uber-elite .1% of the population made up of oil tycoons, Hollywood movie producers, and select other heirs and heiresses. For these people luxury is a much a part of daily life as say, worrying about money, is for the rest of us mortals. The sobering fact of the matter though, according to the June issue of Vanity Fair, is that even these formerly enviable folks (or spoiled narcissists, depending on your outlook)are starting to suffer under the weight of impending recession and scheming investment bankers, among whom Bernie Madoff is perhaps most infamous these days. Telltale sign of trouble in paradise: newly listed rentals and steep markdowns of pricey Hampton's get-a-ways.
So how is it that men like Madoff were able to pull off their large scale Ponzi schemes (defined by Wikipedia as: fraudulent investment operations that pay returns to investors from money paid by subsequent investors rather than from any actual profit earned) and cheat these apparently business savvy millionaires out of so much of their fortunes?
Well if attendance at Patti's Deception Detection program last night taught me one thing it's that charisma can overwhelm our fairly adept natural ability to detect deception. When we meet a charismatic, attractive individual--which Bernie Madoff by all accounts is--we have an immediate (though often unfortunate) desire to trust him or her. Think of the stud at the bar who bought you a drink and told you that he was single. Note: the good ones never are. So rather than heeding all the warning signs intended to keep us out of trouble, we are much more likely to hand over our money or hearts to these smooth talking, good looking manipulators.
As one of those girls who tends to fall for the attractive "bad boy" types I find this all particularly disheartening. But here's to hoping that I one day have enough money to be worth a scheming investment banker's efforts (and an attractive husband who will advise me against investing with him.)
In this economy, not too many people feel absolutely secure in their financial situation. Well unless you're among the uber-elite .1% of the population made up of oil tycoons, Hollywood movie producers, and select other heirs and heiresses. For these people luxury is a much a part of daily life as say, worrying about money, is for the rest of us mortals. The sobering fact of the matter though, according to the June issue of Vanity Fair, is that even these formerly enviable folks (or spoiled narcissists, depending on your outlook)are starting to suffer under the weight of impending recession and scheming investment bankers, among whom Bernie Madoff is perhaps most infamous these days. Telltale sign of trouble in paradise: newly listed rentals and steep markdowns of pricey Hampton's get-a-ways.
So how is it that men like Madoff were able to pull off their large scale Ponzi schemes (defined by Wikipedia as: fraudulent investment operations that pay returns to investors from money paid by subsequent investors rather than from any actual profit earned) and cheat these apparently business savvy millionaires out of so much of their fortunes?
Well if attendance at Patti's Deception Detection program last night taught me one thing it's that charisma can overwhelm our fairly adept natural ability to detect deception. When we meet a charismatic, attractive individual--which Bernie Madoff by all accounts is--we have an immediate (though often unfortunate) desire to trust him or her. Think of the stud at the bar who bought you a drink and told you that he was single. Note: the good ones never are. So rather than heeding all the warning signs intended to keep us out of trouble, we are much more likely to hand over our money or hearts to these smooth talking, good looking manipulators.
As one of those girls who tends to fall for the attractive "bad boy" types I find this all particularly disheartening. But here's to hoping that I one day have enough money to be worth a scheming investment banker's efforts (and an attractive husband who will advise me against investing with him.)
Series: Famous statements about lies #1
"You want the truth. You can't handle the truth!"
- From the film, "A Few Good Men"
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
- From the film, "A Few Good Men"
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
How to Get a Baseline of Normal Behavior to Detect Lying
How to Get a Baseline - You detect deceit by reading how far from normal someone is. Therefore, you need to know what normal is for each person to discover whether he or she lying. For example you might think that all liars pause before they speak, and don’t make eye contact, but an honest person who is introverted may do that normally. You need to find out what each person's 'normal' is.
Extroverts will normally talk loud, fast, and fill up silences. Introverts will pause before they speak and speak softer and slower. Clearly, the baseline is different for introverts and extrovert. You need to determine if the person is introverted or extroverted and what their particular baseline quirks are so you know how far from normal their behavior is.
To understand how this works, let’s study an example. Imagine you are going in to buy a used car and you are talking with your salesman. You want to make sure that your car salesman is not selling you a lemon. Forget any stereotype you may have about car salesmen and get a baseline of this individual salesman. Begin by creating a framework of non-invasive questions to establish his normal, baseline behavior. Essentially you want to ask questions you are sure he would answer honestly first.
YOU: Wow! it is a scorcher out today? Is it usually this hot this time of year in Atlanta? Are you from around here? Did you have air conditioning growing up? Did you spend much time outside playing when you were growing up?
HIM: He should talk easily and comfortably about the weather and his childhood
or
YOU: This is not my part of town. Can you tell me some good restaurants around here? Do you have a favorite? What kind of food do they serve? What do you usually have?
HIM: tells you about his favorite place and what he likes there
YOU: So, how long have you been in business? (This is a question he would more than likely answer honestly as it can be confirmed.)
HIM: Let me tell you a little bit about my experience selling cars and how long we have been here selling cars....
YOU: Now, if I decide I want this car today, what are the steps I need to take?
HIM: Let's figure out how much you want to spend on a monthly payment....
If you noticed, these questions were fairly innocuous and nonthreatening so the car salesman has no incentive to lie. While you are listening to him tell the truth you get his baseline. If you have taken my deception detection course you have a checklist to rate the person and/or pay attention to his voice. Does he talk fast or slow? Does his voice go up or down. Look at his gestures, his mouth. Is he right handed or left handed. Get a baseline for his eye accessing cues. Where does he look when he’s describing his favorite dish? What are his hands doing as he’s talking about the temperature or his experience? Is he leaning toward or away from you? Does he tend to gesture a lot or a little. Does he seem relaxed or tense. When you feel pretty confident that you recognize his baseline, you can now ask him the questions that you really want to know. These will be questions about the quality and history of the car, its maintenance record, whether his customers are typically happy with their cars etc. It’s at this point that you want to look for those patterns that differ from his baseline of normal behavior.
Extroverts will normally talk loud, fast, and fill up silences. Introverts will pause before they speak and speak softer and slower. Clearly, the baseline is different for introverts and extrovert. You need to determine if the person is introverted or extroverted and what their particular baseline quirks are so you know how far from normal their behavior is.
To understand how this works, let’s study an example. Imagine you are going in to buy a used car and you are talking with your salesman. You want to make sure that your car salesman is not selling you a lemon. Forget any stereotype you may have about car salesmen and get a baseline of this individual salesman. Begin by creating a framework of non-invasive questions to establish his normal, baseline behavior. Essentially you want to ask questions you are sure he would answer honestly first.
YOU: Wow! it is a scorcher out today? Is it usually this hot this time of year in Atlanta? Are you from around here? Did you have air conditioning growing up? Did you spend much time outside playing when you were growing up?
HIM: He should talk easily and comfortably about the weather and his childhood
or
YOU: This is not my part of town. Can you tell me some good restaurants around here? Do you have a favorite? What kind of food do they serve? What do you usually have?
HIM: tells you about his favorite place and what he likes there
YOU: So, how long have you been in business? (This is a question he would more than likely answer honestly as it can be confirmed.)
HIM: Let me tell you a little bit about my experience selling cars and how long we have been here selling cars....
YOU: Now, if I decide I want this car today, what are the steps I need to take?
HIM: Let's figure out how much you want to spend on a monthly payment....
If you noticed, these questions were fairly innocuous and nonthreatening so the car salesman has no incentive to lie. While you are listening to him tell the truth you get his baseline. If you have taken my deception detection course you have a checklist to rate the person and/or pay attention to his voice. Does he talk fast or slow? Does his voice go up or down. Look at his gestures, his mouth. Is he right handed or left handed. Get a baseline for his eye accessing cues. Where does he look when he’s describing his favorite dish? What are his hands doing as he’s talking about the temperature or his experience? Is he leaning toward or away from you? Does he tend to gesture a lot or a little. Does he seem relaxed or tense. When you feel pretty confident that you recognize his baseline, you can now ask him the questions that you really want to know. These will be questions about the quality and history of the car, its maintenance record, whether his customers are typically happy with their cars etc. It’s at this point that you want to look for those patterns that differ from his baseline of normal behavior.
How can you tell if he likes you? Body language and attraction
Here is a recent body language and attraction article I was quoted in:
Men’s Body Language, Decoded: What’s He Really Telling You?
When it comes to understanding men—and their interest level in you—do you need a translator? Glamour Magazine asked the top body language experts such as Patti Wood about men’s most confusing mixed signals and found that it’s not what he says but what he does that really matters.
http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2009/06/mens-body-language-decoded#slide=9
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