Little Girls Still Play Inside

As a child I played outside for hours every day. I climbed on the backyard jungle gym, played red light, green light in the street and caught minnows in the creek. I played inside as well, building wonderful houses for my Barbie dolls and Trolls, fixing tea for my Chattie Cathy and dressing and undressing my Dolly Darlings. Outside I was a Tom Boy, the alpha leader in charge of all the game rules and team choices; inside I used a soft voice and held my dolls close as I rocked them. Today I still have my outside Alpha Patti that gives speeches and my inside nice girl Patti that cuddles the dog and listens to loved ones talk about their day. Today girls still play mostly inside in small spaces, in small groups or in pairs. The center of a girl's social life is a best friend. Within the group, intimacy is key. In playing house there are no winners or losers. Girls playing mommy can give orders but they are not comfortable giving orders in any other play role. Girls are more likely to say, "how about doing that?" or "lets do this " and boys say, LET'S DO THIS, OF ELSE!","give me that" or "get out of here."(Funny) For girls it's not about jockeying for status, it's about being liked. For example, when my godchild is playing with her girlfriends, they have to reach a consensus on what they're going to do. If most of them want to go out on the swing and one little girl does not want to, then there's a problem. In fact, popular girls have status but research shows that even though other girls want to be liked by the popular girl, the popular girl is paradoxically disliked and called stuck up.

Series: Famous statements about lies #2

"If you do not wish to be lied to, do not ask questions. If there were no questions, there would be no lies."

-B. Traven
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)

For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.

"If you continue in my word, then you are my disciples . . . And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

-John 8:32
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)

For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.

Deception Detection: So you thought you had it made?

Julie Levin (an intern's musings)

In this economy, not too many people feel absolutely secure in their financial situation. Well unless you're among the uber-elite .1% of the population made up of oil tycoons, Hollywood movie producers, and select other heirs and heiresses. For these people luxury is a much a part of daily life as say, worrying about money, is for the rest of us mortals. The sobering fact of the matter though, according to the June issue of Vanity Fair, is that even these formerly enviable folks (or spoiled narcissists, depending on your outlook)are starting to suffer under the weight of impending recession and scheming investment bankers, among whom Bernie Madoff is perhaps most infamous these days. Telltale sign of trouble in paradise: newly listed rentals and steep markdowns of pricey Hampton's get-a-ways.

So how is it that men like Madoff were able to pull off their large scale Ponzi schemes (defined by Wikipedia as: fraudulent investment operations that pay returns to investors from money paid by subsequent investors rather than from any actual profit earned) and cheat these apparently business savvy millionaires out of so much of their fortunes?

Well if attendance at Patti's Deception Detection program last night taught me one thing it's that charisma can overwhelm our fairly adept natural ability to detect deception. When we meet a charismatic, attractive individual--which Bernie Madoff by all accounts is--we have an immediate (though often unfortunate) desire to trust him or her. Think of the stud at the bar who bought you a drink and told you that he was single. Note: the good ones never are. So rather than heeding all the warning signs intended to keep us out of trouble, we are much more likely to hand over our money or hearts to these smooth talking, good looking manipulators.

As one of those girls who tends to fall for the attractive "bad boy" types I find this all particularly disheartening. But here's to hoping that I one day have enough money to be worth a scheming investment banker's efforts (and an attractive husband who will advise me against investing with him.)

Series: Famous statements about lies #1

"You want the truth. You can't handle the truth!"

- From the film, "A Few Good Men"
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)

For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.