Ben Roethlisberger's Body Language, Deception? Is he Lying?

I analyzed the body language of Steelers Quarter Back Ben Roethlisberger as he gave his statement to the media denying sexual assault charges on Fox Sports Radio 970 in Pittsburgh today.

Here is the story and a link to the video in case you aren’t familiar with it: http://www.allheadlinenews.com/. And here is the VIDEO of Ben reading the statement http://www.wpxi.com/video/20156562/index.html. Lets look at Ben Roethlisberger's body language before this event to get his baseline for normal. Letterman show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19vaoeNw72E.

When you watch Ben's body language on the David Letterman show after the Super Bowl, you see a strong alpha male. He is a hero we can admire. He was so confident. He is sitting back in the chair and with his upper and lower torsos fully relaxed. His shoulders are relaxed down rather than up around his ears like a scared turtle as you sometimes see guests on the Letterman show. His legs are splayed out with the pelvis on display. The spread is more than sixteen inches wide showing his bravado and sexual confidence. Through most of the interview his hands and arms are relaxed, resting on top of his legs. The hands are open in a gesture of relaxed self-comfort. His paralanguage (his voice) is energetic. His heart is open and up to his audience again showing fearlessness. Several times, he makes direct eye contact with David Letterman, which also shows his confidence. Many guests have trouble making eye contact with Letterman, but Ben takes the ribbing in stride, smiling throughout. His body language is relaxed and his voice reveals no tension as he admits that he did not make the touchdown. He looks honest and forthcoming. Power is communicated nonverbally by the amount of space you take up whether your body language is open or closed and whether your body is relaxed or tense in a particular interview Ben shows the three pillars of powerful body language.

Promoting his football camp http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4zekdD-Q2o.

In this interview, promoting his football camp, Ben is smiling again. His gestures are large and sweeping away from his body, showing his confidence. Obama gestures the same way. Ben's chin comes up at the end of sentences--again a body gesture shared with Obama that shows his confidence, and a bit of arrogance. He does get ruffled when he is asked questions about his past bad year. Each time he is asked about his past, notice how he presses his lips together to hold in his emotions. When he is asked to talk about what it is like to be him he rubs his ear and his voice becomes clipped and strident revealing stress. Notice how his words say great things about his fans but his body language shows something different. He is actually showing extreme stress. Notice the revelation of that stress as he shares how with his words that it a good thing that people yell and scream his name but his face grimaces and the corners of his mouth come down. A moment later his words say, “It’s better for them to be yelling your name than not.” and “You have to be a fan of the fans.” However, he is frowning. In addition, he is shaking his head no, as he is saying. “It’s great.” To have fans.

There is a "Ben" gesture, a gesture he is known for. He brings his full arm up as he does thumbs up a characteristic Ben body language gesture. He really makes a show of moving his arm up so the thumb is up higher than a typical thumbs up. His thumb is actually at shoulder level, showing his 'up' body language and cockiness.

Signing his new deal last March http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o93sSGadbzQ

Ben’s body language as he is interviewed after signing his new deal last March is so incredibly happy. He voice is up, powerful, and energetic, as is his body language. He is genuine and that shows in his spontaneous comments and matching body language, which is smooth and flowing. He has again, what I call 'up' body language. Up posture shows confidence. When you are confident your posture, motions, voice, and smile are up.

When Ben comes out to make his statement to the press about the sexual assault, he moves quickly. It is clear he wants to get this done and get out of there. As soon as he reaches the podium he reaches across his body in a self comfort gesture apparently to adjust his tie. That movement brings his arm out and in front of his chest to protect his heart. Following this his arm goes away from his body in a very unusual high block. His next movement is seemingly to straighten his cuffs but in fact belies his desire to shake off his negative emotions. Before he speaks, his head comes down not just to look at his notes, it lingers two beats too long before you see and hear him bring his tongue back in his mouth and smack it.

“Saturday is the first that I heard of her allegations.” The corners of his mouth go sharply down and back in a facial expression of denial. As he says, “I will respond to her outrageous allegations in the appropriate forum," he gives a quick aggressive tongue thrust showing he will attack. You can hear him heaving exhalations of breath. That is the way we get rid of negative emotions in the body. “I have an obligation to the Pittsburg Steelers (head down) and I will do that.” His tongues goes across his mouth and erases that statement, (tongue eraser gesture) showing it is a lie. He has several strong downward hand and arm movements called slicing motions that show his power and aggressiveness. Watch his motion as his says, “I am going to fight.” The gesture is not just strong, it is fully harmonious with his voice. He is absolutely telling the truth. He will fight this aggressively.

What Does it Mean When a Man Plays with His Wedding Ring--Futher Questions

Someone emailed me today asking about someone playing with his wedding ring. I have blogged about that previously. Here is the emailer's question and the questions I sent in response.

Q: "Patti I read about you on the Internet and I am wondering if you could tell me what it means when you are having a business meeting with a male and the entire time he keeps fidgeting with his wedding ring pulling/pushing it off and putting it back on and secondly, during a business meeting specifically asks someone to change seats so that he could sit next to the person who just entered the room." I was wondering Patti what you thought of these 2 scenarios?

A: Though I don’t have access to all the gentleman’s body language, it seems you read that he might be attracted to the person who he made an extra effort to sit near. Before the meeting as he played with his ring he seemed to be making a decision to act out on his desire to sit near this person and it was conflicting with his wedding vows. I am curious, was he happy when he sat down? Did his body move upward or perhaps move towards this person? Did he continue to play with his wedding ring once he sat down or did he calm down once he'd made his decision?

Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
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Not Everyone is a Hugger

Here is a link to a story I was interviewed for on hugging,
http://www.herald-mail.com/?module=displaystory&story_id=141485&format=html

Not Everyone's a Hugger
By: Julie E. Greene
June 30, 2006
julieg@herald-mail.com

Candace Culbreath, 17, of Mont Alto, Pa., saw an older friend she hadn't seen for years at the Mummers' Parade last year and got an unexpected, uncomfortable hug.
"The hug was kind of extended and he was a little too close," Candace recalled.
So she pushed him away a little - drawing a funny look from him, but message received.
Sometimes hugging just isn't appropriate, but huggers might not be aware or just might not care. On Wednesday Candace averted an oncoming, unwanted hug from a friend's boyfriend by sticking her hand out for a handshake as he approached. That's exactly what she should have done to avoid an unwanted or creepy hug, experts said. "Put the arm out first to establish the greeting and that will eliminate a lot of the unwanted hugging and kissing. Not all of it, but some of it," said Barbara Pachter, an author and expert on business and international etiquette.

If an extended arm doesn't stop the oncoming hug, turn to present the side of your body and wrap an arm around the person's shoulder so it's a side-to-side hug rather than a frontal hug, said Patti Wood, a body-language expert and author of "Success Signals: A Guide to Reading Body Language." About 3 percent of the American population finds touch repugnant, Wood said. Whether a hug is appropriate often depends on a person's perception of what's good and bad, she said. People have become more aware of sexual harassment since the 1980s, Wood said. Now, people often find a hug or kiss uncomfortable because they perceive some sexual intent. A guy might press his chest against a woman's breasts too closely, or put his pelvis up against a woman's body, or the hug might linger too long, she said. Wood said men rarely see a woman hugging a man as uncomfortable and if they do, it's because he doesn't know her that well.

However, Pachter said even some men don't want to be hugged. Wood said it tends to be female salespeople who have the biggest problem with inappropriate hugs - from clients. In sales, sometimes people like to hug and kiss because it shows you have a special relationship, Pachter said. "But - and it's a huge but - you need to understand that it sends messages and people might not like the message," she said. For instance, a saleswoman who goes to hug and kiss a long-standing client in front of the client's new co-worker might be giving the new co-worker the wrong idea, Pachter said. He might now think it's OK for him to hug and kiss her.

Pachter knows of one instance in which a saleswoman who regularly hugged and kissed a certain client, saw the client out at dinner one night and gave him a big hug and kiss - in front of his wife.
That was not OK, Pachter said. "You need to know where you are when you're doing these things," she said. Awkward kisses can be more difficult to combat than hugs because sometimes it's cultural and a person could lose out on business, Wood said. For instance, the French like to do the "triple kiss." Yolonda Pikemuccini, of Waynesboro, Pa., said how she reacts to an unwanted hug depends on the setting.

Overseas, a hug could be a cultural gesture so she'd be less uncomfortable with that. If someone she'd just met or didn't know well - in the states - tried to hug her, Pikemuccini said she'd hold her purse and make sure everything stayed in her wallet. Staci Gigeous, 25, of Hagerstown, said sometimes she's allowed the hug but then stepped back nonchalantly afterward so there's more personal space between them to send a message for the future. Or, in some instances, she'll say something to the person so there isn't another occurrence.

The moves people make to avoid hugs are the same ones that people who want to hug others should keep an eye out for so they don't share an unwanted embrace, Wood said. This includes eye contact dropping down.

"If you're a hugger, be conscious of those," she said.

Body Language Cues That He is Just Not That Into You

On-the-Rocks Body Language
How do you know if he is lying to you or mad at you?

While he is talking about what he did last night when he wasn't with you he shifts his pelvis position or leans slightly back or moves his position in his seat and/or nervously grips his hands or taps his fingers, biting his bottom lip, pausing unnaturally between thoughts. These cues are not normal for your man to have when he is deciding on a simple night out. If they're done while he's explaining himself to you, they may actually indicate he is nervous because he is making up the details and fears you will know he is lying.

He rubs his ears or his nose as he says he loves you. If your guy is conversing with you and his hands are away from his face until he starts talking about the two of you and then he starts rubbing his nose or ear (and he doesn't have allergies), you might want to notice what is making him nervous. We rub our nose or ear when something doesn't smell right or sound right to us. When your guy is stressed the blood may to rush to his face. His nose and ears may get warm and begin to itch, causing him to unconsciously rub or scratch them.

Here is what you have read in all the magazines, "The next time you ask him a sticky question or he wants to explain himself to you, notice which way he looks. If his eyes move up to the right, he's recalling information from his memory. If he looks up to the left, there's a good chance that he's inventing the answer." It is not that simple. Most of the research says that where you look to recall information is determined by whether your right handed or left handed. And there is also the possibility's your guy may have rehearsed his lie and is remembering that lie when he shares it with you.

He averts his eyes. About 50% of the time the lack of eye contact will reveal to you that someone is lying. Because animosity is so hard to conceal, your guy may reduce eye contact. Shame and embarrassment make us avert our gaze. He may be afraid that just one peek into his eyes will reveal his inner thoughts.

His jaw is tense. Check out the spot where his jaw meets his cheekbone. If his mouth is rigid and you can see his jaw flexing, it's a sign he's fuming.

He covers his mouth with his hand. He may be nervous, he may be afraid his breath is bad, but notice if he only covers his mouth when he is sharing what he did last night or how he feels about you. When he unconsciously obstructs your view of his lips, it can be a sign that he's trying to block the truth from slipping out. In addition, he might lick his lips and look away from you.

He turns his cheek away from you. Occasionally averting his eyes or scanning the room is normal, but if you find yourself talking mostly to his profile, you're in trouble. We give our full face to the person we love and adore. So unless the other half of his face is looking at the Super Bowl you might investigate if something is up if you see this profile only move. Remember, body language cues of deception and anger are not gender specific but these cues my help you discover if he is just not that into you.

End a Relationship with Face to Face Communication

I get a weekly email of a romance column called "Ask a bachelor". The journalist gives her sage advice with hip insight and a funny delivery. One of my favorite pieces of advice is to a 40 something engineer who is analyzing his last relationship. Or rather obsessing about whether the last relationship worked. "Since you’re analytical, here’s a formula to keep in mind for next time: When you’re talking about a relationship more than you’re actually living it, it’s time to pull the plug."
How many of us talk and talk about a relationship to our friends and analyze and analyze the relationship inside our heads when what we really need to do is talk to the person we are in the relationship with face to face? The other person can't read our minds and probably can't overhear our phone calls or text messages and emails to our friends. We have to talk face to face and if you can't do that, then end the relationship face to face not with a mere click of the mouse.