Quoted in the Toronto sun today.
http://www.torontosun.com/life/2010/02/09/12807046.html
Love signals
Say hello to love.
Celebrity body language expert Patti Wood says warm, caring greetings are extremely important love signals for keeping the love alive.
“Always make a loving ritual of hellos and goodbyes,” stresses Wood.
No matter where you are in the house, drop whatever you’re doing, and greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. “Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking or online.” This communicates that he or she is the most important thing to you.
“You are saying nonverbally, ‘You come first,’” says Wood, adding that no warm welcome actually increases the chance of arguing later on.
Goodbye hugs and kisses have a big impact too. These gestures say “I leave you with love,” says Wood. “With a touch goodbye, you anchor to your mate.”
She also recommends creating a “secret” – a non-verbal love signal shared just between the two of you. “The look can mean, ‘I love you,’ ‘I want you right now’ or ‘You look great to me’,” suggests Wood, a savvy motivational speaker.
Your secret love signal could be as simple as a sly smile, or your lips puckered up, or maybe a quick wrinkling up of the nose. It could be as simple as a tilt to the head to indicate you’d like to rest your head on his shoulder as a gesture of warmth and respect, says Wood, of pattiwood.net.
Words are not needed, she adds. “The secret love signal can recreate the love each time it is given.”
She also suggests focusing on care-taking signals to strengthen relationships, like bringing someone a glass of water or making them a cup of tea. Picking up their dry cleaning for them or even packing them a healthy snack for work.
Wood adds that standing close to one another, making eye contact and showing sincere interest by leaning in when you’re speaking to one another also contribute to a great connection.
It’s touch or go - and never too late to re-ignite that loving feeling
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
Can Dogs Understand Us When We are Mad?
“Sparky, get off the couch!”
Sparky freezes his body on the couch.
“I can’t believe you are on the couch." "Sparky bad boy.”
Sparky looks down and away but still doesn't get off the sofa.
“We have company be good and get down.” You say motioning
from the couch to the floor.
Sparky gets off the couch his head and haunches down.
"Good boy for getting off the couch." you say sweetly and kindly.
Sparky approaches you wagging his tale in submission and friendliness.
Your dog is not responding to your words nor does he feel guilty or know that he has done wrong. Though dogs can understand some words. Typicaly he is responding to your nonverbal communication. Your voice and your behaviors. Dogs may look guilty, but they are typically responding to their powerful humans. Dogs have the human mind equivalent of a 2 to 2 and ½ year old. They don’t feel guilt. Guilt doesn’t typically develop in humans until age four. If you ever raised a teenager or dated a jerk or jerkess you now a sense of right and wrong may not develop even in an adult. What dogs do understand is your tone of voice, your facial expressions, your gestures and posture. Dogs have been bred for generations to be astute readers of human body language. They have learned to associate mad Pet Mommy or Pet Daddy with certain behaviors and respond accordingly.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
Sparky freezes his body on the couch.
“I can’t believe you are on the couch." "Sparky bad boy.”
Sparky looks down and away but still doesn't get off the sofa.
“We have company be good and get down.” You say motioning
from the couch to the floor.
Sparky gets off the couch his head and haunches down.
"Good boy for getting off the couch." you say sweetly and kindly.
Sparky approaches you wagging his tale in submission and friendliness.
Your dog is not responding to your words nor does he feel guilty or know that he has done wrong. Though dogs can understand some words. Typicaly he is responding to your nonverbal communication. Your voice and your behaviors. Dogs may look guilty, but they are typically responding to their powerful humans. Dogs have the human mind equivalent of a 2 to 2 and ½ year old. They don’t feel guilt. Guilt doesn’t typically develop in humans until age four. If you ever raised a teenager or dated a jerk or jerkess you now a sense of right and wrong may not develop even in an adult. What dogs do understand is your tone of voice, your facial expressions, your gestures and posture. Dogs have been bred for generations to be astute readers of human body language. They have learned to associate mad Pet Mommy or Pet Daddy with certain behaviors and respond accordingly.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
Body Language Methods to Avoid a Bore or Stop Talking and End a Conversation.
Avoiding a bore. Tips to stopping or ending a conversation.
Yesterday morning I did a BBC radio program on how to avoid a boring co-worker. One of the producers on the show had called the Host of the show and pretended he was having a conversation with him in order to avoid talking to a borring co-worker that was walking towards his desk. That is one technique here are other tips for avoiding or ending a conversation. Excerpts from my book.
There are things you do subconsciously to shut down conversation that you can do consciously to close down a conversation with someone.
You can close the window of your eyes, by closing both your eyes for just a brief moment longer than you do for an ordinary blink.
You can do a head bow and bring your down the head avoiding or breaking eye contact as the person approaches or less dramatically and more quickly if you are already in conversation.
You can turn shut your mouth tightly so help avoid giving facial feedback to the boring co-worker as feedback increases the likelihood they will continue talking.
You can turn your heart away and you can turn your toes away.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
Work Out, Gym Body Language, First Impressions
Quoted in Working Women.
WEIGHT LIFTING FOR WOMEN
A Quick Strength Training Guide For Women
Tackle daunting machines and dumbbells with this guide--and burn more fat
Jen Ator; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
Lifting weights has some seriously cool benefits: It increases lean muscle mass, which boosts metabolism and helps torch calories and shed stubborn fat. It also improves the quality of your sleep, wards off back pain, and protects you from disease.
Despite all this, many women dodge the dumbbells at the gym—in fact, only 21 percent strength-train two or three times a week. It may be that the rest are misguided, feel intimidated, or are just plain avoiding it!
Well, the excuses end here. We enlisted top trainers to create this easy-to-follow weight-room cheat sheet. The payoff of pumping more iron will be a leaner, sexier you.
1. Have a Plan
When you enter an unfamiliar situation (say, the free-weight zone), your body will naturally freeze for a moment and only your eyes will move, says body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals: Body Language in Business. It's an obvious physical sign that you're confused. Decide beforehand what you'll do as soon as you go into the room. For example, make a beeline for the dumbbells. But which ones? Lifting too much too soon can hurt your form and put you at risk for injury, but grabbing two-pounders won't get you results. New York City personal trainer Dan Ownes gives a head-to-toe exercise barometer of just-right weights for beginners:
If you're doing...lateral raises
Start with...2.5 to 5 pounds in each hand
If you're doing...biceps curls
Start with...5 to 8 pounds in each hand
If you're doing...flat-bench dumbbell rows
Start with...12 to 20 pounds
If you're doing...chest presses
Start with...12 pounds (body bar) to 45 pounds
If you're doing...squats
Start with...zero (body weight) to 45 pounds
2. Stay Steady
The occasional slam of a weight stack is par for the course when you're using resistance equipment like the cable machine or seated leg press, but causing a storm of noise is a classic newbie doh! And it's more than just bad manners. "Lowering the weight without control can result in injury," says Brad Schoenfeld, owner of the Personal Training Center for Women in Scarsdale, New York, and author of Women's Home Workout Bible. "It can also prevent you from getting the tone you're after, because you don't work through the full range of motion." Lower the weights slowly enough that you can perform every rep of the exercise with good form (and less clanking!).
3. Breathe Easy
Even seasoned lifters sometimes forget to breathe during a tough move. But it's counterproductive. "You starve the body of oxygen, which forces your heart to work a lot harder," says certified strength and conditioning specialist Josh Kernen, owner of Bridgetown Physical Therapy & Training Studio in Portland, Oregon. Exhale during the major exertion in each move, and inhale while returning to the starting position.
4. Break a Sweat
Go full-steam, or you might as well go home. A good way to gauge your effort: Monitor how hard you feel like your body is working. It's called your rating of perceived exertion (RPE), and it's usually measured on a scale of one to 10, with one being very little exertion (like lounging in bed) and 10 being the max (running away from an angry dog). To build and tone muscle, aim for an RPE of at least seven or eight during workouts, says Kernen. "Even if you're happy with your tone, you still have to hit six or seven to maintain muscle mass."
5. Think Total Body
Your muffin top may be the only thing that's motivating you to hit the gym, but it's a mistake to attack just your least-favorite assets. "Spot-reducing exercises simply don't work," says Schoenfeld. Full-body workouts torch fat more efficiently because they build more lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more calories per day. And think about it: Wouldn't you rather eradicate all your jiggle?
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
WEIGHT LIFTING FOR WOMEN
A Quick Strength Training Guide For Women
Tackle daunting machines and dumbbells with this guide--and burn more fat
Jen Ator; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
Lifting weights has some seriously cool benefits: It increases lean muscle mass, which boosts metabolism and helps torch calories and shed stubborn fat. It also improves the quality of your sleep, wards off back pain, and protects you from disease.
Despite all this, many women dodge the dumbbells at the gym—in fact, only 21 percent strength-train two or three times a week. It may be that the rest are misguided, feel intimidated, or are just plain avoiding it!
Well, the excuses end here. We enlisted top trainers to create this easy-to-follow weight-room cheat sheet. The payoff of pumping more iron will be a leaner, sexier you.
1. Have a Plan
When you enter an unfamiliar situation (say, the free-weight zone), your body will naturally freeze for a moment and only your eyes will move, says body-language expert Patti Wood, author of Success Signals: Body Language in Business. It's an obvious physical sign that you're confused. Decide beforehand what you'll do as soon as you go into the room. For example, make a beeline for the dumbbells. But which ones? Lifting too much too soon can hurt your form and put you at risk for injury, but grabbing two-pounders won't get you results. New York City personal trainer Dan Ownes gives a head-to-toe exercise barometer of just-right weights for beginners:
If you're doing...lateral raises
Start with...2.5 to 5 pounds in each hand
If you're doing...biceps curls
Start with...5 to 8 pounds in each hand
If you're doing...flat-bench dumbbell rows
Start with...12 to 20 pounds
If you're doing...chest presses
Start with...12 pounds (body bar) to 45 pounds
If you're doing...squats
Start with...zero (body weight) to 45 pounds
2. Stay Steady
The occasional slam of a weight stack is par for the course when you're using resistance equipment like the cable machine or seated leg press, but causing a storm of noise is a classic newbie doh! And it's more than just bad manners. "Lowering the weight without control can result in injury," says Brad Schoenfeld, owner of the Personal Training Center for Women in Scarsdale, New York, and author of Women's Home Workout Bible. "It can also prevent you from getting the tone you're after, because you don't work through the full range of motion." Lower the weights slowly enough that you can perform every rep of the exercise with good form (and less clanking!).
3. Breathe Easy
Even seasoned lifters sometimes forget to breathe during a tough move. But it's counterproductive. "You starve the body of oxygen, which forces your heart to work a lot harder," says certified strength and conditioning specialist Josh Kernen, owner of Bridgetown Physical Therapy & Training Studio in Portland, Oregon. Exhale during the major exertion in each move, and inhale while returning to the starting position.
4. Break a Sweat
Go full-steam, or you might as well go home. A good way to gauge your effort: Monitor how hard you feel like your body is working. It's called your rating of perceived exertion (RPE), and it's usually measured on a scale of one to 10, with one being very little exertion (like lounging in bed) and 10 being the max (running away from an angry dog). To build and tone muscle, aim for an RPE of at least seven or eight during workouts, says Kernen. "Even if you're happy with your tone, you still have to hit six or seven to maintain muscle mass."
5. Think Total Body
Your muffin top may be the only thing that's motivating you to hit the gym, but it's a mistake to attack just your least-favorite assets. "Spot-reducing exercises simply don't work," says Schoenfeld. Full-body workouts torch fat more efficiently because they build more lean muscle mass, which in turn burns more calories per day. And think about it: Wouldn't you rather eradicate all your jiggle?
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
Body Language at Work, First Impressions
Reading body language in your co-workers so you can tell what they really think about you.
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
You don't have to wait for someone to get tipsy at the holiday party to find out how you're viewed at work. "We get nonverbal messages from the people around us every day—often, we're just not paying enough attention," says Sherron Bienvenu, Ph. D., a communications professor emerita at Emory University's Goizueta Business School and author of Business Communications. Following is a crash course in ferreting out whether your workplace colleagues think you're smart, likable, or neither!
Your Coworkers Like You If...
They initiate conversations
Coffee klatches have gone the way of cigarette breaks—they're all but extinct. Nowadays most people communicate by e-mail, IM, or phone. "So if your colleagues are chatting you up in the hallway, they're taking time to break routine to speak to you," says Patti Wood, an Atlanta-based body language expert. If they avert their eyes or sneak glances at their watches during a conversation, they may not be so into you.
They offer feedback
During a one-on-one, does your coworker nod thoughtfully and lean into your conversation? Do the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles in response to funny comments you make? "The more animated a person's face, the more emotionally invested they are in the conversation," says Tonya Reiman, a New York City-based body language expert and the author of The Power of Body Language.
They're smooth talkers
"People deviate from their normal speech patterns when they're nervous or uncomfortable," says Maryann Karinch, a body language expert based outside Denver and a coauthor of How to Spot a Liar. Someone who normally speaks at a leisurely pace might become a speed talker, while a person who usually talks quickly might pause for long moments. If they enjoy your company, you won't notice a change in their vocal stride.
WORK RELATIONSHIPS: DECODE YOUR COWORKERS
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
Your Coworkers Respect You If...
They keep quiet
Asking for your opinion—that's a no-brainer. But letting you take control of a conversation is a less obvious way to show how much they care about what you have to say. "You can see the degree to which other people respect you by observing how often they look to you for a reaction or a cue," says psychologist Ann Demarais, Ph. D., a coauthor of First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You. "And when a problem arises, they turn to face you."
They make room for you
"When you sit down at a meeting, see if your neighbors move their stuff closer to themselves and out of your way, or push their chair back a bit to give you more room," Demarais says. "That shows respect."
They copy you
What they say about imitation and flattery is true: "Subconsciously, we try to mirror people we like and respect," Reiman says. So if you notice your coworker mimicking your movements—for example, picking up her pen or cupping her chin with her hand when you do—she probably admires you.
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
A Coworker Has A Crush On You If...
He goes the extra mile
He spends an hour trying to fix your frozen computer, gives up his chair at a crowded conference room table, or offers to pick you up a latte during his afternoon coffee run. Maybe he's just an incredibly nice guy—but more likely, he's into you.
He drops your name
Saying things like "Hi, Jane," or "How are you doing, Jane?" may seem like common courtesy, but it's actually an intimate gesture. Consider it the verbal equivalent of a touch on the arm—a way to get more personal.
He's a stand-up guy
In the civilized world as in the wild, strong, physically imposing alpha males have the best shot at mating. So men instinctively want to make themselves seem bigger and badder around women they're interested in, Reiman says. If he suddenly stops slouching and puffs out his chest when he's around you (the old "I'm just stretching my arms" routine), take note— he may have a crush.
<< BACK 1 2 3 NEXT >
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
You don't have to wait for someone to get tipsy at the holiday party to find out how you're viewed at work. "We get nonverbal messages from the people around us every day—often, we're just not paying enough attention," says Sherron Bienvenu, Ph. D., a communications professor emerita at Emory University's Goizueta Business School and author of Business Communications. Following is a crash course in ferreting out whether your workplace colleagues think you're smart, likable, or neither!
Your Coworkers Like You If...
They initiate conversations
Coffee klatches have gone the way of cigarette breaks—they're all but extinct. Nowadays most people communicate by e-mail, IM, or phone. "So if your colleagues are chatting you up in the hallway, they're taking time to break routine to speak to you," says Patti Wood, an Atlanta-based body language expert. If they avert their eyes or sneak glances at their watches during a conversation, they may not be so into you.
They offer feedback
During a one-on-one, does your coworker nod thoughtfully and lean into your conversation? Do the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles in response to funny comments you make? "The more animated a person's face, the more emotionally invested they are in the conversation," says Tonya Reiman, a New York City-based body language expert and the author of The Power of Body Language.
They're smooth talkers
"People deviate from their normal speech patterns when they're nervous or uncomfortable," says Maryann Karinch, a body language expert based outside Denver and a coauthor of How to Spot a Liar. Someone who normally speaks at a leisurely pace might become a speed talker, while a person who usually talks quickly might pause for long moments. If they enjoy your company, you won't notice a change in their vocal stride.
WORK RELATIONSHIPS: DECODE YOUR COWORKERS
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
Your Coworkers Respect You If...
They keep quiet
Asking for your opinion—that's a no-brainer. But letting you take control of a conversation is a less obvious way to show how much they care about what you have to say. "You can see the degree to which other people respect you by observing how often they look to you for a reaction or a cue," says psychologist Ann Demarais, Ph. D., a coauthor of First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You. "And when a problem arises, they turn to face you."
They make room for you
"When you sit down at a meeting, see if your neighbors move their stuff closer to themselves and out of your way, or push their chair back a bit to give you more room," Demarais says. "That shows respect."
They copy you
What they say about imitation and flattery is true: "Subconsciously, we try to mirror people we like and respect," Reiman says. So if you notice your coworker mimicking your movements—for example, picking up her pen or cupping her chin with her hand when you do—she probably admires you.
What Your Colleagues Really Think of You
Wondering about your workplace relationships? How to tell what your colleagues really think of you
Jennifer Barrett; Additional reporting by Alex Kish
A Coworker Has A Crush On You If...
He goes the extra mile
He spends an hour trying to fix your frozen computer, gives up his chair at a crowded conference room table, or offers to pick you up a latte during his afternoon coffee run. Maybe he's just an incredibly nice guy—but more likely, he's into you.
He drops your name
Saying things like "Hi, Jane," or "How are you doing, Jane?" may seem like common courtesy, but it's actually an intimate gesture. Consider it the verbal equivalent of a touch on the arm—a way to get more personal.
He's a stand-up guy
In the civilized world as in the wild, strong, physically imposing alpha males have the best shot at mating. So men instinctively want to make themselves seem bigger and badder around women they're interested in, Reiman says. If he suddenly stops slouching and puffs out his chest when he's around you (the old "I'm just stretching my arms" routine), take note— he may have a crush.
<< BACK 1 2 3 NEXT >
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
I have a new quiz on my YouTubestation. Check it out!
YouTube- YouTube - bodylanguageexpert's Channel
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